Denial
Chapter three - Sirius, the Stress Machine
*****
Later that day we were in divination, same as last week, same as every week. We sat at our usual table, in our usual seats, next to the usual people (not that Sirius is normal in any way), staring into the same crystal ball. Normally it doesn't bother me that I can't see anything. In fact, it's only divination. I'm indifferent. But today isn't normal. Normally it wouldn't matter who did a brummy accent. Normally I wouldn't work with Anna. Normally I would keep my head down in potions, and just get it over with, instead of having a loud row with Kira over taking notes. Normally I'd only have one slice of pizza, and a few vegetables at lunch, instead of half the table's contents of food. But everything was wrong today.
So instead of drifting off to my own little dream world in divination I found myself getting very annoyed at the crystal ball, and it's stupid, boring, smoky interior, and lack of information, and annoyed at Professor Trelawny for generally being so annoying, and depressing, and having this annoying voice, and gliding walk, and glasses and anything that happened to annoy me.
I even got annoyed at the way Kira's too-blue eyes refused to blink, and the way she kept muttering under her breath the way she did when she was concentrating, and the way she could concentrate, and I couldn't!
I hated that lesson so much!
Then Peter saw again. And it was Sirius again.
"Sirius, you're getting married." Peter muttered to his friend.
"What?" Sirius asked sleepily, clearly paying no attention whatsoever.
"You're getting married.. I think it's to the same girl as before."
"But I vowed never to get married." Sirius said, still dozy.
"Tough luck, mate. The fates have decided." Peter said, and then there was silence again.
But it was short lived.
"You mean the fat one?" Sirius asked suddenly.
"Yeah, but she's not fat anymore." Peter replied quietly.
"But... how d' you know it's the same girl?"
"Well, unless she has an identical twin. The things I see aren't clear images, but they're so similar..."
Sirius grunted and fell back into his stupor.
That slightly cheered me up. I could laugh in the face of the girl stupid enough to marry Sirius Black. Hah! I realized that Professor Trelawny was staring at me, and that was because I was staring at Sirius with a smug look on my face. I quickly returned my gaze to the crystal ball.
After the lesson we met up with Lily, and I told her and Kira:
"I laugh in the face of the girl who's going to marry Sirius Black."
"What?" Lily asked vaguely. I explained about Peter's prediction.
Afterwards Kira said, "Why are you laughing in their face, I thought you liked Sirius?"
"WHAT?" I replied calmly and quietly (or not...) "I hate him! He's such a bastard."
"You went out with him for ages though." Kira said.
"Yes! And then he dumped me for some sluttish bimbo. A whole month, and he just discarded me." I replied indignantly.
Kira frowned. "He's not that bad."
"Yes he is." I said simply.
"No." Kira said, "You used to be obsessed with him, and go on and on about him, and it drove us mad, and then you split up, and couldn't get over him for ages, until about a week ago you just shut up about him."
"You never told us he dumped you." Lily said pointedly. I stared at them both stonily. Here they were, abandoning me at my time of need. Ok, they didn't know it was a time of need for me, but they didn't know it wasn't. And they were supposed to be my friends! They were supposed to back me up that Sirius was a bastard, when I clearly hated him so much now.
There was a pause. A kind of long one.
"He's just such a stupid idiot, ok?" I said. Kira looked at me, like I was nothing (bitch).
"Calling him names is-"
"You can't talk, you call people names all the time!" I interrupted. She turned and walked away. "Fine you just be a hypocritical bitch then." I called after her.
"Better than being you!" She called back.
Lily looked from one of us to the other, wondering who to go with. I suppose, because it didn't show any definite siding with Kira, and only some siding with me, she stayed put.
I stared after Kira for a moment. Lily just stood, looking uneasy. She glanced at me.
"I'll go and see if Kira's alright." She muttered, shuffling off.
"Lily, please. Stay." I said.
"What about Kira?" She asked, pausing and turning round.
"Lily, I really need someone at the moment." I refused to look attention seeking and cry. It probably looked like I was seeking attention to Lily, seeing as Kira could need her just as much as me from her point of view. She didn't know I was pregnant. Of course, Kira could have been pregnant for all I knew, but the likelihood was very slim. Lily could obviously see the worry, and sadness on my face.
"Chloe, what's wrong?" She asked, putting an arm round me. I sniffed, and resigned myself to breaking my promise, and telling someone I was pregnant.
*****
Thank you, oh great reviewers:
freakyfroggurl22 - wahey! an old reviewy ready person.
geordie lass 4eva - I posted more soon... (soon for me)
Jo - I like this reviewer a lot. She says useful things. Still a while till Sirius finds out though...
LuNaMoOn - Only HP fic on your favourite stories! YEY!
mairims - I have continued (it annoys me when people write the first chapter and then stop)
jayne - it is, it's superb.
I love all of you, and anyone else reading!!! - Mai
Chapter three - Sirius, the Stress Machine
*****
Later that day we were in divination, same as last week, same as every week. We sat at our usual table, in our usual seats, next to the usual people (not that Sirius is normal in any way), staring into the same crystal ball. Normally it doesn't bother me that I can't see anything. In fact, it's only divination. I'm indifferent. But today isn't normal. Normally it wouldn't matter who did a brummy accent. Normally I wouldn't work with Anna. Normally I would keep my head down in potions, and just get it over with, instead of having a loud row with Kira over taking notes. Normally I'd only have one slice of pizza, and a few vegetables at lunch, instead of half the table's contents of food. But everything was wrong today.
So instead of drifting off to my own little dream world in divination I found myself getting very annoyed at the crystal ball, and it's stupid, boring, smoky interior, and lack of information, and annoyed at Professor Trelawny for generally being so annoying, and depressing, and having this annoying voice, and gliding walk, and glasses and anything that happened to annoy me.
I even got annoyed at the way Kira's too-blue eyes refused to blink, and the way she kept muttering under her breath the way she did when she was concentrating, and the way she could concentrate, and I couldn't!
I hated that lesson so much!
Then Peter saw again. And it was Sirius again.
"Sirius, you're getting married." Peter muttered to his friend.
"What?" Sirius asked sleepily, clearly paying no attention whatsoever.
"You're getting married.. I think it's to the same girl as before."
"But I vowed never to get married." Sirius said, still dozy.
"Tough luck, mate. The fates have decided." Peter said, and then there was silence again.
But it was short lived.
"You mean the fat one?" Sirius asked suddenly.
"Yeah, but she's not fat anymore." Peter replied quietly.
"But... how d' you know it's the same girl?"
"Well, unless she has an identical twin. The things I see aren't clear images, but they're so similar..."
Sirius grunted and fell back into his stupor.
That slightly cheered me up. I could laugh in the face of the girl stupid enough to marry Sirius Black. Hah! I realized that Professor Trelawny was staring at me, and that was because I was staring at Sirius with a smug look on my face. I quickly returned my gaze to the crystal ball.
After the lesson we met up with Lily, and I told her and Kira:
"I laugh in the face of the girl who's going to marry Sirius Black."
"What?" Lily asked vaguely. I explained about Peter's prediction.
Afterwards Kira said, "Why are you laughing in their face, I thought you liked Sirius?"
"WHAT?" I replied calmly and quietly (or not...) "I hate him! He's such a bastard."
"You went out with him for ages though." Kira said.
"Yes! And then he dumped me for some sluttish bimbo. A whole month, and he just discarded me." I replied indignantly.
Kira frowned. "He's not that bad."
"Yes he is." I said simply.
"No." Kira said, "You used to be obsessed with him, and go on and on about him, and it drove us mad, and then you split up, and couldn't get over him for ages, until about a week ago you just shut up about him."
"You never told us he dumped you." Lily said pointedly. I stared at them both stonily. Here they were, abandoning me at my time of need. Ok, they didn't know it was a time of need for me, but they didn't know it wasn't. And they were supposed to be my friends! They were supposed to back me up that Sirius was a bastard, when I clearly hated him so much now.
There was a pause. A kind of long one.
"He's just such a stupid idiot, ok?" I said. Kira looked at me, like I was nothing (bitch).
"Calling him names is-"
"You can't talk, you call people names all the time!" I interrupted. She turned and walked away. "Fine you just be a hypocritical bitch then." I called after her.
"Better than being you!" She called back.
Lily looked from one of us to the other, wondering who to go with. I suppose, because it didn't show any definite siding with Kira, and only some siding with me, she stayed put.
I stared after Kira for a moment. Lily just stood, looking uneasy. She glanced at me.
"I'll go and see if Kira's alright." She muttered, shuffling off.
"Lily, please. Stay." I said.
"What about Kira?" She asked, pausing and turning round.
"Lily, I really need someone at the moment." I refused to look attention seeking and cry. It probably looked like I was seeking attention to Lily, seeing as Kira could need her just as much as me from her point of view. She didn't know I was pregnant. Of course, Kira could have been pregnant for all I knew, but the likelihood was very slim. Lily could obviously see the worry, and sadness on my face.
"Chloe, what's wrong?" She asked, putting an arm round me. I sniffed, and resigned myself to breaking my promise, and telling someone I was pregnant.
*****
Thank you, oh great reviewers:
freakyfroggurl22 - wahey! an old reviewy ready person.
geordie lass 4eva - I posted more soon... (soon for me)
Jo - I like this reviewer a lot. She says useful things. Still a while till Sirius finds out though...
LuNaMoOn - Only HP fic on your favourite stories! YEY!
mairims - I have continued (it annoys me when people write the first chapter and then stop)
jayne - it is, it's superb.
I love all of you, and anyone else reading!!! - Mai