THREE
"Thank you so much for doing all this—and sorry it took so much longer than expected!"
Kate merely shrugged as she gazed across the table at Rick. Though her visit was only supposed to last "an hour or so" she wasn't even the slightest bit mad she had been there well over double that time. Actually, the whole afternoon had been rather fun in that it was something entirely different for her. While her work-life was everchanging, she did feel she could get into a rut with her personal time and spending a few hours helping Rick improve the details of his book had been a welcome change.
Before she arrived that afternoon, Kate had felt slightly apprehensive about how their meet-up would go. She went in with the mindset of focusing on the work and had even written down the specific pages on which she found issues in the first ten chapters of the novel—all that she had read to date. Honestly, there weren't many issues. Someone completely unfamiliar with policework would have noticed nothing out of place, so Kate thought the work wouldn't even take an hour. Then, with each change she suggested, Rick fired off half a dozen questions of his own in order to seek more clarity or detail. As she loved her work, Kate didn't mind providing answers, and soon found herself actually enjoying their banter and conversation to the point where she began to wonder if Rick was not in fact the lunatic she had labeled him to be.
"Don't worry about it; I actually rather enjoyed myself."
He closed the lid on his laptop computer and glanced again at his watch. "Still, time really got away from us. You…you wouldn't want to stay for dinner, would you? As a thank you, I mean."
"Oh, no," she said reflexively. "I don't want to put you out."
He smiled at her. "No trouble. I have more than enough for two in the crockpot."
When Rick got up from the table and walked into the kitchen, Kate followed out of insuppressible curiosity. Before arriving that evening, she would have immediately refuted such an invitation, as she had wanted to keep her relationship with Rick professional and superficial due to his prior betrayals. After their two hours together, however, she no longer had such strong feelings—especially since her belly was feeling rather empty.
"I have beef stew here and some frozen bread I was going to put in the oven so it got nice and crispy."
"Oh." Kate actually let out a small whimper when Rick lifted the lid off the crockpot and the rich scent wafted beneath her nostrils. "I have missed your beef stew…"
He grinned. "Well then you have to say. Go on have a seat; the bread shouldn't take too long."
"Can I help with anything?"
His winning smile growing a little larger he said, "You've already helped more than enough today. Go on; sit."
She moved to the bar stool he gestured to and sat as he asked. Then, resting her hands on the counter, she patiently watched him lay the bread out on a baking tray, brush it with some butter, and then pop it into the oven. He then retrieved bowls, plates, and utensils from various spots in his kitchen before setting the places at the table they'd vacated. Kate then excused herself to the bathroom and when she returned found him ladling the stew into their bowls. Her mouth now salivating, she took a seat at one of the places before waiting for him to sit so she could dig in.
When the first bite melted in her mouth, she let out a hum of contentment. "You really are a great cook."
He chuckled. "You sound shocked, yet you ate my dinners for two years. Oh, hang on—I forgot the wine. Red okay?"
"Sure. And you are an impressively good cook; remember I thought I was eating a pre-programed android's meals. It's even more surprising now that I know you're human."
He returned with a glass of wine for each of them before taking his seat once more. "Thank you, but I don't think about that much; it's quite instinctual now since I've virtually always done the cooking—mostly as a means of survival. My mother can barely boil water without burning it."
"Well, it's still impressive," she said. They ate in silence for a few more minutes before she turned to him, glass of wine in hand and asked, "Can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"I've always wondered what it would be like to grow up as a man. I mean…was it strange? I assume you didn't have any or many male friends."
"Ah, yes and no. You're correct in that in school there was really only one other male around my age at a time—one a few years older, another a few years younger. I wouldn't say I didn't have males in my life, though. Because of my mother's work in the theatre, I was around a decent number of them—they were just her age."
She sipped the wine and pointed out, "You didn't mention your father."
"Because I never met him; he and my mom split up before I was born."
Kate briefly turned away from him to hide her cringe; once again she had stumbled upon a darker part of his history without intending to. "I'm sorry; that must have been hard."
He gave a little shrug. "Never knew any different."
"Still…I can't imagine not having females around my age to be friends with."
"That's because you basically know nothing but females; its your norm." He pointed out. "My life is normal to me."
She nodded, accepting this to be true, hard as it was to conceptualize. She thought back to her own childhood days where she had dozens of friends to pal around with, and how equally fascinated they were by the lone male classmate of theirs. "I remember the one guy in my school got so much attention."
He let out a breathy laugh. "Hmm…yes. I'd love to sit here and tell you that it was awesome—I could have any girl I wanted and then some. And, don't get me wrong—it wasn't bad. And probably if you'd asked me when I was eighteen my answer would have been different but now… now I know being unique isn't always the best."
She leaned her forearms against the table, curious. "In what way? I'd say I don't mean to pry, except you already did that in my life."
He nodded his head. "Fair enough." He took a drink from his wine glass and swirled the remaining liquid around pensively before beginning his response. "I suppose it was pretty much as you'd imagine. All the girls wanted to hang out with me, wanted me to sit with them at lunch. I soaked it all up like any highly hormonal male would have, but with the girls at school it was mostly flirting. Not to sound immodest, but there were some fights over me—I mean physical altercations—and I didn't want to encourage that. It was…stressful since I'm the type of person who very much likes everyone to get along.
"Anyway, um, I spent a lot of time backstage in theatres on weekends and in the evenings—with my mother and whatever cast she was working with. I ended up losing my virginity at fifteen in a dressing room with a girl staring as my mother's daughter in a show."
"Oh." She reacted with a cringe and did a poor job of hiding it. Thankfully, he did not seem offended.
"Yeah, in hindsight not one of my prouder moments. Actually, one of the least. At the time, I didn't mind it so much—sex was pretty awesome—but within two years I noticed a pattern. The women wanted me for sex, but they didn't want me. I was mostly with older women at that point and they loved the sex, but they never wanted to go to a movie or just talk. I'd go back to school and realize that there again I was a novelty people were fascinated by, but they never wanted to dive more than skin deep. Sure, there were some women who wanted to be with me because of me—my ex-wife Meredith, at least in the beginning, was one of them… but I found it so hard to trust when I found it. Were they just putting on a good front or did they really care? I still wonder that sometimes."
Kate pressed her lips together as she considered his words, feeling at an absolute loss to relate to them. Sure, now and then she'd run into a coworker or fellow student who seemed disingenuous, but that was few and far between. Of the women she befriended, she felt all were very kind and trustworthy, so his experiences felt quite foreign. Then again, she had heard from others that love and sex complicated things—something she had never personally experienced—so she recognized that as a contributing factor. Still, one prominent thought emerged from the rest. "That sounds very lonely."
He hummed. "It certainly could be, thought to be honest it was a bit of a self-imposed vicious cycle for a while—after Meredith and I divorced, I mean. I'd be with someone, it would blow up, I'd retreat and remain on my own only to repeat the pattern again. So many women in the world…guess I just haven't found the right one yet."
She gave him a small smile and hoped that he would find that person for himself one day. Then, after finishing her wine, she gathered up her bowl and utensils and said, "Let me help you clean these up."
"Sorry I brought down the mood."
She glanced over her shoulder and refuted his apology. "No, no; I asked and you gave an honest answer. Don't feel bad. For the record: I…" She paused to place her dishes by the sink and then turn around to face him. "I struggled to trust people too after my mother was murdered."
He put his dishes down beside hers and said, "They never found her killer, right?"
"No."
"And you hate that feeling, which is why you dedicate your life to solving other's crimes, so no other family has to feel like you did. Sorry."
Though he apologized, the damage had been done; she could already feel the heat creeping into her cheeks. Turning away, she cursed under her breath for letting her guard down so much with him. True, it had been while she thought he was a computer chip, not an intuitive human, but he had figured her out immensely, and given how little she still knew about him, she was not comfortable with that. "No—it's, um, fine it's just…getting late. I should go."
"Okay, well thanks again for your help. Let me know when you're ready to review the rest, okay?"
"Mmhmm." She then threw a wave back over her shoulder before quickly escaping his apartment. Staying for dinner? What had she been thinking!
"And…done! Perfect!" Rick glanced at Kate over the top of his laptop screen and smiled genuinely at her. "Thank you so much for all your help."
She gave a little shrug and stood from the chair on the opposite side of his desk. "It really wasn't a problem to help you—knowingly," she added with a pointed look.
He bobbed his head. "I deserved that."
Clasping her hands in front of her, Kate walked over to gaze out the window of his office, curious if the rain had cleared up in the hour she'd spent with Rick. They had gone through the second half of his novel, which had less inaccuracies than the first so their time together had been relatively brief. In the end, Kate somewhat begrudgingly admitted to loving the book. The character he created was strong, independent, smart, and talented. Though she may have been bias as the character began as a partial reflection of herself, by the end of the story Nikki Heat truly had taken on her own personality, and Kate was sure she would have enjoyed the story even if she hadn't been a part of its origin.
Upon seeing that the rain had been reduced to drizzle, Kate spun around, intent on collecting her jacket and continuing on with her day but stopped when she caught sight of a photograph displayed near the window. The silver frame sat among the many books displayed on shelves lining the walls of the office. The frame contained a picture of an infant girl, clearly asleep. She had an adorable button nose and a few wisps of strawberry blonde hair atop her head. Though initially Kate wanted to smile, remembering that the girl was no longer alive made her heart ache.
Turning around, she asked, "Is this a picture of your daughter?"
He nodded with a wistful smile. "Alexis."
"How old was she?"
"In that picture? A few weeks, maybe. She only lived for ninety-three days."
Kate gasped slightly at the short time period. Somehow in her mind she had assumed the girl lived to be a toddler, but she in reality she'd barely made it out of the newborn stage. In that moment, Kate wasn't sure what was worse. "May I ask what happened?"
"Officially? SIDS. Unofficially…" He sighed heavily, giving his head a shake. "That's a longer story."
She took a few steps towards him and offered, "I have time."
He nodded and walked around his desk so that he could lean against the front of it while she stood several feet away. "Ah… so, Meredith was an actress. Met her through my mother; they did a play together. I…had a crush on her I guess you could say."
"How old were you?"
"'bout twenty when we met. Little older when she, my mother, and their troupe talked me into writing them a play. Shortly thereafter Meredith and I got together officially. She was fun, spunky, and was really enthusiastic about my writing especially the play I wrote. Ah, anyway, same old story I suppose—we fell in love, got married."
"Had a baby," she continued for him, but he shook his head.
"Not exactly. Yes, we had the baby, but I mean—Meredith was really focused on her career; our pregnancy was unintentional. We…we never really talked about having kids, but you know the way everything is—it was assumed, at least on my end. I wanted kids. I…I loved being a father. Meredith did not love being a mother. I never saw it before…crazy as it seemed. She was so self-centered, and you can't do that as a parent—you have to be selfless when it comes to your child."
Kate could hear the bitter edge in his voice and swallowed, bracing herself for the tragedy that was about to come.
"Within the first few weeks of Alexis's life it became clear I would need to be her primary caregiver and I didn't mind—truly. I loved her. She was fascinating and adorable, and I couldn't wait for her to grow and develop and…and I never got to see any of that."
He skimmed his hand over his chin and was silent until she prompted, "What happened?"
He took another moment for himself before continuing. "It was winter… February. A bitter, freezing cold and windy day. Alexis was too small to take out in that kind of weather, but we needed groceries, diapers. I told Meredith she either had to go to the store or watch Alexis. She chose the latter, so I put Alexis in her arms, left…and by the time I got home she was gone." His voice ended on a harsh whisper and Kate could feel tears burning behind her eyes at the obvious emotion in the man's face.
"Meredith told everyone that Alexis just stopped breathing, but a few nights later I heard her say that she put Alexis down on the couch, not in her crib or her bassinette. I think Alexis rolled into a pillow and suffocated."
"Why would you think that?"
He looked her straight in the eye and behind the moisture droplets collecting in his lids, Kate could clearly see rage. "Because a few weeks before I'd witnessed Meredith do the exact same thing, only I'd been there to stop it."
Kate felt her stomach roll in her gut and she whispered out, "I'm so sorry, Rick. I cannot even imagine how heartbreaking that was for you."
"Yeah. It…It made me not want to live. Not in a suicidal way, just a reclusive one. I threw myself into my books, my work and didn't feel very much like emerging for about seven years."
"Why did you?"
He gave her a wry smile. "My mother yelled at me."
Kate couldn't help but chuckle. "Oh."
"Rightfully so, though—I knew it was time to rejoin the world, but I was struggling to find a project I was passionate about."
"Is that when you decided to become an android?" she asked after a moment of thought.
He laughed and folded his arms over his chest, confessing, "Actually, the fake android project was idea number three after the first two failed to be interesting. If nothing else I'm grateful it got me out of my funk."
She gave him a smile. "I am too." They gazed at each other for a moment before Kate felt a prickling sensation at the back of her neck and she said, "I, ah, I should be going…"
"Yeah absolutely. Thank you again, so much. I know I don't deserve your kindness after what I did to you, but I appreciate it all the same."
Plucking her coat off the back of her chair, she told him seriously, "Everyone deserves kindness. But I am glad I could help. I, um, I guess I'll…I'll see you, Rick."
"Yeah, I—I'll send you a final copy of the book, okay?"
She nodded. "I'd like that. Have a good evening."
He smiled. "You too."
A/N: so glad you are all enjoying this
remember: daily updates will continue through the weekend!