Writer's Note :
I am so sorry for the really, really late update. You can shoot me if you want. I know I am a bad slow writer. I am so sorry.
Anyhow, thank you to a guest review scolding me to update. I mean, that really, helped speed this up.
In fact, thank you for all the reviews. It really, really helps me alot.
So here is chapter 3.
Do enjoy it. *wink*
Hashirama continued to laugh like a madman. Madara stood up and folded his arms. He frowned, wondering if he broke Hashirama when he made him realized that he was wrong and to make him admit it too. It's sad, really, to have one of the greatest shinobi to go mad. Guilt crept up Madara's mind. If he didn't press this issue, then, maybe, he wouldn't have broken Hashirama.
Ah, it's his fault.
It was always his fault.
Everything was his fault.
Madara was used to being pointed at and accused for being wrong, evil and fill in the blanks. To be blamed for everything that went wrong. He was always the scapegoat. His upturned lips frowned further. Maybe, this was his destiny. To be the chaos to maintain the peace and harmony.
Being the scapegoat wasn't always bad, except that it was quite lonely. When people pointed their finger and blamed him, he noticed that there was a relief that comes. As if knowing that it wasn't their fault brought them peace. As if blaming someone made it better. And it was that relief he saw in their eyes that helped him through his life. He didn't want to admit it but he was an optimist, just like, Hashirama. If this could save the world or his clan, he could do it. He didn't mind.
He looked at Hashirama, his body wincing a little.
Hashirama was always so full of dreams and hope. He was the bright sun that lighted up anything in its path. And he even brought out the light in Madara. It was always conflicting to be near Hashirama.
He was the bright sun. And Madara was like an ugly shadow that didn't deserve to be anywhere near such a brilliant sun. But Hashirama never minded, spreading his innocent ideals to the world, never caring if the world disagreed with it. His determination was also relentless. Even if the world disagreed with his ideals, Hashirama made the world change its mind. That was how powerful Hashirama was. It was not only his physical strength.
Madara too had ideals. He wanted a better world.
A world where he didn't have to watch his brothers die again and again.
A world where he could protect them.
A world where they could all live in peace.
When he used spend his time with Hashirama by the riverside as a child, he remembered how Hashirama and him clicked instantly. They had the same ideals and dreams. And for a while, Madara thought this dream was possible.
Sadly, their families fought each other and he was made to choose. He chose to protect his brother and family.
Someone like him who had abandoned his own ideals had no right to be near anyone who held on hard to their ideals. He had no right to be near Hashirama but it annoyed him that Hashirama didn't mind. It also annoyed him how Hashirama could walk around, spreading his ideals.
Because he knew all too well. Ideals cannot save the world.
It amazed him that Hashirama never once given up on his ideals, unlike him. How was that possible? The world should have crushed it a long time ago like it crushed his. But Hashirama only grew brighter as a sun. But then again, he was Hashirama.
He remembered when he read the Uchiha scroll.
Yin and yang.
Good and Bad.
Light and Dark.
It broke his heart because then, he knew. He knew that peace cannot truly exist without chaos. War will always occur. Pain will never stop. It's a never ending cycle of sorrow.
He hated that but he accepted that fact and he realized, since the entire village has singled him out to be threat, he knew that it was his destiny to be the chaos to maintain their peace.
The village was afraid of him.
His clan distrusted him.
His brother was dead.
He took this path, knowing that the village had nothing to offer him. Leaving the village was a good decision.
Maybe, this was his way of trying to let his ideals live. Even if he couldn't have peace, maybe, the world would.
He was a shadow and he could only work in the darkness. He was never like Hashirama.
Hashirama put his hand on Madara shoulder's, "Why did I not see this before?"
Madara was snapped back into reality, "Because you were blinded by the village. You were blinded by your own ideals."
The moment Madara said those words, he regretted it. Too harsh, he thought. Not need to hurt a broken man any further.
"Why couldn't you just tell me the truth, Madara?"
Madara was taken aback by Hashirama's words. What did he mean by that? What were they talking about now?
He looked into Hashirama's eyes and he saw how it beamed with clarity. And the way Hashirama looked at Madara. He hated it. It was full of understanding, pity and sorrow.
Madara slapped Hashirama's hand away from his shoulders. "There is nothing to say."
Hashirama frowned and lowered his head, "How wrong I was. I always thought that I understood you. But I suppose I didn't."
Madara scoffed, "Do not be ridiculous. How can you ever understand me?"
How can the sun ever understand the shadow? It will never be able to. Madara wanted to scream but he kept his lips tightly shut.
Hashirama frowned, "I am sorry for not seeing this before. But you could always talk this out with me. There were better paths. We could have worked together and make it a better world. You did not have to do what you do. You did not have to leave the village. You did not have to be chaos to save the world."
Hashirama looked straight at Madara, his gaze unrelentless. Madara's body tensed at the gaze Hashirama gave him. It was intense, sad, angry, frustrated and relieved all at the same time.
"You did not have to make me kill you." Hashirama's words was sharp as his eyes was growing with guilt and regret.
Madara frowned. "You won't understand even if I told you."
"Make me understand." Hashirama hissed. "You could have atleast tried."
"The world isn't always pretty as how you see it, Hashirama. This is just your own skewed view."
"You think I don't know that. I do. I know how ugly the world is. I know how cruel it is. I've seen my comrades' fall."
"And I haven't? Please, Hashirama. We are done. We are through."
Those words burn through Hashirama.
Hashirama pulled Madara closer to him, his anger rising in him.
"Do not twist my words. I understand what you were trying to do now. You selfish little prick. You were trying to sacrifice yourself to the world, hoping that it would save the world. You were trying to be hero, silently on your own. You are the one who doesn't understand. You don't understand how it felt to see you suddenly leave the village. You don't understand how it felt to wake up every morning, wondering what else I could have done to change your mind. You don't understand how it felt like to wake up and be wrecked with guilt. You don't understand how it felt like to kill someone you love."
Hashirama stopped at the last word.
Someone you love.
He certainly has said too much.
He felt his hot tears running down, his face.
Great. Not only has his words betrayed him, his body has too.
Madara was utterly shocked when he saw Hashirama suddenly burst like that. There were so many different emotions involved. It was rare for Hashirama to behave this way. And it only made Madara guilty.
Why do you care so much what I do? Why does it matter so much? Madara tightened his fist.
Hashirama let go of Madara and quickly wiped away his tears. But they wouldn't stop. It was as if they were all coming out now after years and years of suppressing them.
"What I do shouldn't matter. Not to you or the village." Madara's nails dug deep into his edo tensei flesh.
Hashirama sighed in disbelief, "How thick can you get? What you do matters. To me and to the village. You are the co-founder, remember that."
This was one trait that he hated about Madara. He was always so stubborn and self-righteous. Wait. Does that apply to him too? He sighed. They were both stubborn and self-righteous. And maybe, this was why they were both fearsome but also hard to handle.
Madara raised his voice, "Well, it shouldn't. Why do you even care so much?"
"Because I love you." Hashirama suddenly spurted out.
Instantly, Hashirama covered his mouth. Why did he say that? That was stupid. That was silly. Oh, Madara is just going to kick his ass for being absolutely retarded.
"What?" Madara blinked.
Hashirama remained silent, looking away. He was not going to repeat that. If Madara didn't hear it, then, so be it. In fact, he hoped that Madara completely miss that. But he knew that to be impossible. It was quite clear. He wasn't going to repeat that just so that he could let Madara taunt him about it.
Madara continued to blink. Seeing Hashirama blushed like that and look away felt surreal. Like a dream that he has had before. Wait, was it even a dream?
His eyes widen with shock when he realized that this has happened before. It wasn't a dream.
It took him back to that moment.
The village was newly created and everyone was celebrating its creation. There were fireworks and a festival. He and Hashirama drank themselves silly. They were really, really drunk by the time they left the shop.
Somehow, they manage to make it to the very spot they named the village. It was on top of a valley, overlooking the village. The streets of the village was busy and the people looked like tiny ants from here. They could see them bustling through, having fun. The spots of lights, here and there made the village look beautiful.
All their hard work and dreams were laid in front of them, in the form of the village. Their precious little village.
They sat down and talked as they watched over their village. Then, for some reason, they had a heated argument and in the heat of the moment, Hashirama lips collided with Madara's. One thing lead to another, and the next thing Madara knew, Hashirama was on top of Madara. Of course, Madara tried to change that but Hashirama managed to simply get on top again.
Then, they kissed each other harder as their hands explored each other's bodies. Madara have never felt such ecstasy in his life before. It was like a thousand fireworks were exploding in him.
Next thing he knew, Hashirama was inserting himself into Madara and as much as it hurt, it felt so good. Was that even possible?
Hashirama pounded and Madara couldn't help but moan with lust as Hashirama reached sweet spots that left him utterly mindblown. But Hashirama pushed too slowly, softly and gently. Madara urged him to pick up the pace by shaking his hips and Hashirama understood. They moved faster and harder. For a moment, nothing mattered. This was all that existed. A moment in pure ecstasy and lust.
Madara moaned harder and dug his nails into the ground as Hashirama climaxed. And with that, Hashirama fell next to Madara. They were both breathing heavily. They lied down, watching the night's sky. They both smiled in the afterglow. Everything felt so surreal, like a dream. They continued talking. Occasionally, Hashirama would turn and give Madara a peck on the cheek or a full blown hard kiss on his lips.
Madara wasn't quite sure how he went home that night. But he woke up with the worst hangover he ever had. His hand banging like a thousand drums played and the world spinning as if it was a top.
The memory of Hashirama and him at the valley felt odd. It was confusing. Why would Hashirama do that?
Why would they be doing that?
They weren't lovers or anything. Or were they now?
Madara couldn't make sense of that memory that he simply dismissed it as a dream. After all, it was easy to do so. It felt so dreamlike.
He did see Hashirama the next day and he was embarrassed and disgusted at the pangs of lust that came. The dream played in his head. But he watched Hashirama and saw that Hashirama behaved normally. And that when he was certain it was a dream. A sick dream of his.
And so, he simply pushed that dream in the deeper parts of his mind, trying to forget it.
But it was only now, that he realized that it was real. That it did happen.
This conflicted Madara severely but at the same time explained everything.
This is why he cared so damn much.
Of all the god damn people in this world he could love, why me?
And of all the things that had to be real, why was it that?
Why did he have to make things so god damn complicated.
Madara closed his eyes and rubbed his temples.
Hashirama felt that he should leave now. The jinchuurinki problem is still not fixed. And he has said what he needed to say and he has finally understood why Madara did what he did. Nothing else needs to be said and done.
And maybe, Madara was right. They were done. They were through.
Hashirama was about to leave when Madara said, "Wait."
Writer's Note :
I know. I have way too many writer's note. Sorry for that.
Anyhow, THANK YOU FOR READING~~!
I DO HOPE YOU ENJOY IT~~!
Please do leave a review if that doesn't bother you.
I mean, I really like reviews because they really help me.
And yes, there is lemons in this chapter. *winks*
I hope it was alright. This is my first time writing lemon scenes. And it was awkward writing it. LOL.
Anyhow, THANKS FOR READING.
HASHIMADA FOREVER. *gets shot*