A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and alerts!

Interlude I

The first thing that came back to Starscream was the cool air in his vents, tasting of sanitizing agents.

The medbay, then.

A low, steady beeping picked up speed, and he onlined his optics to stare at the spark monitor beside his berth.

His chrono told him five decacycles had passed since… since the practice. Attack formation, thrusters sputtering and a sudden pain ripping apart his insides, then a moment of freefall clarity: this was it, now, all this work only to die because he hadn't seen a medic when he should have. Then, blackness.

The monitor spluttered for a moment. Some invisible force reached into Starscream's armor and squeezed his spark.

It hurt. Starscream clenched his teeth so he wouldn't cry out and stared at the monitor's erratic readings, willing them to go back to normal so it would stop.

It didn't stop. It backed away, became less acute, but it lurked, a hollowness where… something should be. Had been until he'd blacked out.

Maybe… he grabbed onto his trine bonds, scrambling along and was finally rewarded with two sleepy responses over the comm. line.

"Screamer?"

"You're awake?"

"Yes."

He felt their relief, and it eased the ache a little.

"You had us worried there."

"I'm sorry. I guess they rebuilt me from scratch after that fall."

"What? No, we caught you before you went into itty bitty Seeker pieces. So what happened?"

"I don't know. Nobody noticed I'm up."

"Well. It is the middle of the night," TC reasoned. "Go back to recharge and we'll see you in the morning."

Starscream wanted to see them now, but he kept silent. They felt so tired to him, especially TC. He was Elite Second, he'd have been acting Air Commander for the past five decacycles.

Starscream sat up, folded back his wings and lay on his side, curling up, wishing either of them were here, holding him, whispering comforting nonsense, even just sitting and breathing with him, because he wanted proof, physical proof that they were alright. Maybe then this hollowness inside him would be filled and let him be whole again.

Starscream spent a joor staring at the monitor.

Sometimes, he felt himself shaking, when the urge to wake TC or Warp again became too great.

Was it too much to ask that they be there? He just wanted somebody – anybody, really, even Megatron, that slagger, would do. Just someone to make him feel less lost.

He cried for a while, too, ventilation hitching and static sobs echoing in the small ward.

Stupid, emotional outburst. He didn't have any reason to cry. He'd see his wingmates in a couple of joors and he'd be able to ask a medic what was wrong with him even sooner.

But Primus, it hurt.

Eventually, the lights went up, and, after a couple of breems, the door slid open.

"You're awake." Hook sounded baffled.

"Yes. I am awake." Starscream sat. "And it must have been you who set me to wake in the middle of the night, so don't play dumb with me."

Hook shook his head. "No. I swear. We didn't think you'd wake up anymore."

What? "You're lying. Skywarp said they caught me before I damaged anything important."

Hook looked at Starscream oddly. "Well," he said eventually.

"Well, what? If you didn't rebuilt me, then what the frag happened, you imbecile?"

"You don't remember?"

"I meant to consult you because my systems were consuming too much energon, but then my engines gave and I woke up here. No holes in my memory, so why don't you tell me what happened?"

Hook scratched his head. "This certainly changes a lot," he said.

"Will you cut the cryptic remarks already?"

"I'll have to consult Megatron."

"I don't see what Megatron has to do with any of this."

"You wouldn't."

Aargh. Primus, Starscream hated the Constructicons with a passion. "Look. You do remember that I outrank you?"

Hook nodded.

"If you don't tell me now what is wrong with me, I'll have you charged for insubordination."

Hook vented a sigh. "Look. Take all the clues, alright. Increased appetite for five decacycles, sudden blackout from pain? In a mech who's interfacing on a regular basis?"

Starscream blinked. Huh. Primus forbid. "I was carrying?"

"You're really the fast sort, aren't you."

But. Starscream crossed his arms in front of his chest and tried to make himself not hunch over. His baffle was online by default. So, that meant Megatron, that utter bastard, had had his off, or used an override (was there such a thing?) and instead of just asking he'd let Starscream nearly die, and the kid, too. His kid. No wonder Starscream felt like a part of his spark had been torn off.

"It's dead, isn't it." His sparkling. Primus.

"I wouldn't know. Megatron brought in some specialist from Polyhex when we realized you were fissioning."

Starscream nodded. Megatron. Always Megatron. That slagger. "Well. Then I'll have to ask Megatron, won't I? And don't you dare warn him."

Starscream disconnected the monitor and climbed off the berth. He was going to kill that mech.

xxx

Apparently, people had thought Starscream dead. He got any number of stares as he walked the fortress. He'd have loved to stride, but his systems didn't allow that kind of speed yet.

At least, Megatron was in his office and Starscream didn't have to look all over for the fragger. Also, he seemed rather surprised to see Starscream burst through the door, so Hook had obeyed. Good.

"Where is he?" Starscream powered up his null ray and aimed at Megatron.

Megatron seemed to overcome his initial puzzlement and smirked. "You'll have to tell me who you are looking for."

"Don't play dumb with me."

"Why the sudden interest?"

Starscream lowered his weapon. What?

"Given how you didn't see the need to inform anyone, not even your trine, of your condition, I'm rather surprised you care now."

"Maybe I wasn't aware of my so-called condition."

Megatron raised his optic ridges. "There's dumber mechs than you who can draw the logical conclusion."

"My baffle is online by default. It's not logical at all."

"Hmm." Megatron leaned back in his chair. "Your baffle has been online by default for quite a while, someone informed me. Did it ever occur to you that maybe that particular bit of programming needs maintenance, too, if it's running so much?"

Starscream scoffed. "Excuse me for ignoring something that could have been a minor virus. Now tell me where my sparkling is."

"No. Seeing as how you can barely take care of yourself, and how you risked his life because you were too proud to ask for help, I don't consider you a good influence on my sparkling. He is safe, happy and healthy, and if you ever prove you are as grown up as you like to pretend, then maybe I'll allow you to meet him."

"But-"

"You're dismissed, Commander."

"You can't do that. Megatron. I'm sorry I was oblivious, but please…"

Megatron just cocked his head. "Please, what?"

"It hurts," Starscream whispered.

"Good. Now get out."

Starscream stared at him. The last two breems couldn't have happened. He couldn't have had this conversation with Megatron.

Megatron raised his fusion cannon. "I said, get out, or else I won't hesitate depriving my sparkling of his carrier for good. Do you understand?"

Staring at the faint purplish glow in the barrel of the cannon, Starscream nodded, turned, and walked outside. There, he leaned against the wall and let himself sink to the floor. Skywarp found him a few breems later and teleported him to their quarters. There, he let Starscream lay his head in his lap and petted his helm while Starscream tried to understand what Megatron had said.

xxx

A quarter vorn passed. The hurt dulled down a little over time, and Starscream took great care to work even more efficiently, in hopes the tyrant would relent eventually. Indeed, after ten decacycles of silence, Megatron began rewarding Starscream with little bits of information on the sparkling.

"He walks." "He's talking now." "I'll take him flying tonight." Always Megatron seemed so proud, and the hurt would intensify again, because Starscream wasn't there to see it.

Also, Megatron never deemed it necessary to tell Starscream what the sparkling's name was, even when Starscream begged him for an answer.

Sometimes he thought he'd burst from all the love he was feeling that didn't have anywhere to go.

Finally, one night, Megatron ordered Starscream to his quarters, and Starscream went, spark soaring.

What met him was a gray fist to his face, then blackness.