3. The Beast Within
"Behold, I am coming soon."
Work is incredibly slow tonight, hardly anyone has come into Merlotte's for either food or drink so far. I found it quite strange, I have the impression that most in this town like to swing by their only local bar to drink their sorrows away. This was a bad thing that the place was nearly empty, it meant Sookie didn't have enough to keep her occupied and out of my hair. I never mentioned that crazy night with the Viking Vampire that happened two months ago to her, well, why would I? Secretly I actually kind of liked her but I wasn't interested in being friends. She was entertaining and annoying at the same time. She never got much conversation out of me but it didn't keep her from asking questions and pouring out the trails and tribulations of her life to me. Maybe she appreciated that I never preached to her or told her my opinions, I think she simply liked having someone that would listen. There wasn't much else to do at work, especially nights like these. It also made the time pass by quicker. Bill had been out of town for a little over a month now for his "special project", so Sookie was more lonely than usual. She would talk about Eric a lot to me, seems he was more in her life whenever Bill was gone. He continually asked for her assistance for this or that and every time he saw her, he would make a move on her. She's an idiot, she complains about his advances but continues to be at his beckon and call. I was just glad that my name never came up between the two of them.
It was around 10:30 and Sookie was cleaning up a table or two that had recently been vacated in her section when the door breezed open. The cool gust of air had brought the attention of the few guests in the restaurant to the Adonis and his sidekick that were standing there as if they were expecting some sort of applause. The sidekick was the tall blonde haired vampire that was checking ID's at Fangtasia. From all of Sookie's ramblings I have come to know her as Pam. Sookie says that she is somewhat of a female version of Eric and that he is her daddy, sire, or maker; whatever you want to call it. She looked more like an upscale housewife, you know, one of those snobby bitches that always had her nose up in the air and looked at everyone else around her down her nose. She was dressed straight out of an Anne Taylor catalog, everything looked perfect, right down to her long straight hair and delicate make up. Pammy cakes was scanning the room at the tasty morsels, like she couldn't decide what flavor. When her eyes landed on me, the corner of her mouth tugged slightly upwards and her eyes had a slight twinkle of excitement. I just stared at her completely unamused, this was the last thing I wanted to deal with.
With a shift of my eyes to the left, Eric was looking at me and I was smiling slightly. It was awkward to be in the presence of one another, we both felt it but it wasn't necessarily a bad awkwardness. We both had a sense of delight in the struggle we presented the other. He wanted to know my secret and I enjoyed keeping it from him. The tidbits that he did know, they seemed to be somewhat compelling to him and I don't understand that. In my eyes my story is dark and haunting, not something I want to live through again by telling. It is aggravating that I find myself in this game with him, I understand where it comes from though. I am attracted to him and he's a vampire, that is something that's familiar to me sexually and romantically. I found out the hard way, the dangers to that kind of attraction. I never thought I'd ever be able to be cordial to a vampire again. It's still very difficult for me to be in the company of one, the scar on my shoulder always seems to throb in a dulling way. It is a subconscious thing of course but I do long to be free from my past. I guess I just never thought that my future could possibly include vampires. I guess that's how it goes. Freedom comes when you learn to let go, right?
"Ms. Nomak, pleasure to see you again." He spoke softly and I was barely able to hear him. His expression was blank and he just continued to look at me.
"How do you know my last name?" Though I could already guess that it was the bloodied and beaten looking blonde, Jenna, that was on his couch the first time I met him. Pam rolled her eyes and walked over to where Sookie was watching intently, they sat down at a booth and began chatting. Eric stepped closer to the bar and though his eyes brightened a bit, he did not smile.
"I've looked into you a bit. Seems we have something's we must discuss."
"We have nothing to discuss." I said flatly.
He leaned in closer and rested his hands on the bar, "I believe we do. If you would like to do it the easy way then I suggest you meet me at Fangtasia tomorrow night." His voice was low and cold, the look in his eyes was threatening.
"I am not going into Fangtasia. We can meet elsewhere, somewhere I feel safe." I took a step back, I was a little afraid. I got lucky once and pushed him aside, I really don't think that would ever happen again.
"Like your house? So you can throw me out again if the conversation takes a direction that you don't like?" He arched and eyebrow. Hard to believe that the big bad Viking was still a little sore about that, yet he just laid it out in front of me.
"I threw you out because I was frightened. I don't expect you to understand but you put your hand on me, you invaded my space and touched the most tender spot. I don't handle that well." I said low and sternly.
"Apparently." He chuckled softly and then got serious again. "I do understand, but I had to see what you are hiding behind. You need my help."
"I never asked for your help."
"But you need it. Consider yourself fortunate that I am giving it to you Ms. Nomak." He pushed himself away from the bar and walked to the booth Sookie and Pam were sitting at. My head was spinning, I had no idea what was going on and why I would need his help. It is clear that he knows what happened, but how? Why does he give a shit about me getting over it? My frustration was growing the more I thought about this and I was starting to feel a little hot under the collar. Why is he now referring to me as Ms. Nomak? His tone and demeanor has completely changed with me as well, very stern and serious. That nomadic feeling was starting to stir within me again, I was feeling claustrophobic and feeling like I need to get out. I guess it's true, you can't bury the past. It always comes back to get you.
Eric and Pam had left a half hour later, as they were headed out the door Eric looked at me and was about to say something but I turned my back to him. When I heard the door shut I turned back around and got back to what little business there was to attend to. Sookie approached the bar with a question mark on her face.
"Is there something going on between you and Eric?" She looked like a child trying to figure out a math problem.
"Why?"
"Well, I didn't think you two knew each other all that well. I know you talked to him at Fangtasia that one night a couple months back. It just seemed like you guys were having an intense talk tonight. He kept looking at you when he was at the booth with Pam and I."
"I don't know what to tell you Sook." I said with a sigh.
"I wish I could read your thoughts right now." She scratched head and looked at me curiously.
"I'd deck you if you invaded my privacy like that. Besides, you don't wanna see what's going on in here." I said touching my temple.
"Yes I do. You're such a mystery." It sounded almost like she was pleading with me, like all of the sudden I could just snap my fingers and then she'd have free roam of my brain.
"I prefer it that way. Thought you would've figured that out by now."
"Why do you suppose I can't read your thoughts?" Sookie was looking at me like I had all the answers, I wish.
I let out a huff of air, I was annoyed. "I think my brain is just on a different frequency to what you're tuned in to."
She thought about that for a moment. "I can't read vampires thoughts because, well, they're dead and don't have brainwaves. Supes an weres thoughts come across fragmented, hard to get a clear reading, sometimes I just get strong emotions."
"So…"
"You're dead." She said with a hearty laugh. She obviously just threw me in with the vamps. Nice Sookie, real nice.
"That's too easy." I said shaking my head in disappointment.
"I don't get it though. I can read every humans thoughts if I chose but I can't read yours."
"Two years ago I went to see a psychic, she couldn't get a reading on me either. She said that she couldn't get inside my head at all. It's not as though there are any walls up or that I block these sorts of energies somehow, She said it was like looking into… nothing."
"How is that possible though?" She looked confused but very interested in what my answer may be.
"Well… I died six years ago. I woke up in a hospital and a doctor informed me that I was rushed in the night before. I had a horrible wound on my shoulder and had lost a lot of blood. They started a transfusion immediately but my heart stopped and I was gone for about 2 minutes and 47 seconds before they were able to bring me back. All I can think is that I came back wrong somehow." I barely spoke in a whisper, I had no idea what compelled me to tell her that. Maybe I was hoping that in this moment she would tell me I was wrong, that I didn't come back wrong. She didn't say anything though. We just stared at each other for a few minutes before Sam interrupted us by asking Sookie to do something for him. I wiped the tears away and started cleaning up the bar.
I got home around 2:15 that morning. I sat on the couch in the dark and let the thoughts that were sitting on the edge fall in and swallow me completely. Everything past and present swirled around in my head and for the first time in nearly three years I saw his face. The grayish green eyes, chiseled jaw line and cheekbones, the wild chocolate colored hair that framed his beautiful face, his perfect supple lips, the smile that could melt the heart of any living creature, and the perfectly straight white teeth rounded out his features in a stunning way. Strange how a face so beautiful could turn so menacing when the fangs ran out. I felt that dull throbbing again at my shoulder and I slowly cried myself to sleep.
I had a strange dream that night, something I had never experienced before. It felt more real than any other. There were no images, just complete darkness and all that rang through my head were these slow spoken words, the voice was familiar but a faint memory.
Prophecy
(from Revelation 1:3)
Blessed is he who reads aloud the words of the prophecy
And blessed are those who hear
And who keep what is written therein
For the time is near
(from Revelation 1:7)
He is coming with the clouds
And every eye will see him
Everyone who pierced him
And all the tribes of the earth will wail on account of him
(from Revelation 2:1-4)
Those of you who have not learned
What some call the deep things of Satan
I know your works
I know your toil
And your patient endurance
And how you cannot hear evil men
But have tested those who call themselves
Apostles
But are not
And found them to be false
I know you are enduring patiently
And bearing out
For my namesake
And you have not grown weary
But I have this against you
That you have abandoned
The love you had
(from Revelation 2:9-10)
I know your tribulation and your poverty
And the slander of those who say
That they are Jews
But they are not
They are a synagogue of Satan
Do not fear what you are about to suffer
Behold the devil is about to throw you into prison
(from Revelation 13:1-10)
And I saw a beast rising out of the sea
With ten horns and seven heads
And a blasphemous name upon its head
And the beast that I saw was like a leopard
Its feet were like a bear's
And its mouth was like a lion's mouth
And to it the dragon gave his power
And his throne
And great authority
One of his heads had a mortal wound
But it seemed to have a mortal wound
That was healed
And the whole earth followed the beast with wonder
Men worshipped the dragon
For he had given his authority to the beast
And they worshipped the beast saying"Who is like the beast and who can fight against the beast?"
And the beast was given a mouth
Uttering haughty and blasphemous words
And it was allowed to exercise authority for forty-two months
It opened its mouth to utter blasphemous
Words
Against
God
It was allowed to make war on the saints
And to conquer them
And authority was given it over every tribe
And a people and tongue and nation
And all who dwell on earth could worship it
In vainIf anyone has an ear let him hear
If anyone is to be taken captive, into captivity he will go
If anyone who slays with the sword, with the sword
(from Revelation 21:1-8)
ThenI saw a new heaven
And a new earth
And I heard a great voice from the throne saying"Behold the dwelling of God is with men
He will dwell with them
And they shall be his people
And God himself will be with them
He will wipe away every tear from their eyes
And death shall be no more
Neither shall there be mourning
Nor crying
Nor pain
Anymore
For these things will have passed away
To the thirsty I will give water without price
From the fountain of the water of life
He who conquers shall have this heritage
And I will be his God and he shall be my son
But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the polluted
As for the murderers, fornicators, sorcerers, idolaters
And all liars
Their lot shall be in the lake
That burns with fire [and brimstone]
(from Revelation 22:10-13)
And he said to me
He said to me"Do not seal up the words of the prophecy
For the time is near
Let the evildoers still do evil
And the filthy still be filthy
And the righteous still do right
And the holy still be holy
Behold
I am coming soon
I am the alpha
And the omega
The first
And the last
The beginning
And the end"
Amen
What are you gonna do?