A/N - Thanks to all of you beauties who reviewed, loving the feedback, and I've updated the credit in the first chapter to include your beta, UnfathomableFandoms.
Also, sorry for my inability to post anything within 2 months of each other, I blame TV.
Anyway, this chapter string is inspired by some of my own disastrous experiences and some moments in the actual show as well. Enjoy!
Gathered around the Dejarik table for a briefing, the Ghost's crew were chatting amongst themselves as Kanan got the holo ready.
"So, kid. How'd the trim go? You not need a weedwacker after all?" joked Zeb. He felt a moral obligation to get in some light jabs at Ezra about, well, pretty much anything.
"No, Zeb, I'm fairly certain that magnitude of shaving equipment is reserved for your repulsive pits." The sparky reply earned Ezra a scowl from the Lasat, but their small feud was cut short by the start of Kanan's brief.
"OK team, this time we've got a bit a of a tricky one. Three steps" Kanan's speech was about as succinct as possible " one, distraction - but non explosive, Ezra?" Sabine visibly sulked, she didn't like the lack of unstable chemicals.
"Sure, what do we need? Electronics wipe out? False alarm? That sorta thing?"
"Well, I was thinking more along the lines of containing the guards you were a lost kid and needed their help." Kanan's eyebrow raised as Zeb facepalmed.
"You sure that's wise, boss? I know he gets the pity role down to a t, but surely the Skakoan affliction might give him bit of a problem." Zeb pitched in, seeming, for whatever reason, concerned about Ezra.
"Sorry, Zeb, what's a Ska- Skakoa- Skakoan affliction?" almost answering his own question, Ezra's voice cracked at every attempt he made to say the word.
"Yeah, kid. 'fraid the Imps won't buy a lost child if that child sounds like their pressure suit is malfunctioning all the time, kinda gives away the nerves." Zeb smiled, the kid had recently been annoyed by the unfortunate lack of control he had over his own voice. It was almost as if every other word would end up a few octaves higher that the rest of the sentence.
"I see what you mean Zeb, nerves would only make it worse - might begin to sound like the end of an opera" Kanan imitated a wobbly voice tunelessly singing a few notes, much to Ezra's discomfort, who'd grown quite an uncomfortable look on his face. Sabine just giggled.
"Anyway, back to your briefing, Kanan" piped in Hera, becoming quite concerned at his lack of control.
"Ya, ya. Just messin around, fairly certain Ezra can control himself long enough to convince a Buckethead or two anyways. So, Zeb I want you on the south entrance, watching the exit for any Imperial..." The briefing continued much like normal, and the mission was soon upon them.
20:00 Hours, approximately 30 kliks from Capital City.
Ezra anxiously approached the pair of troopers stationed at the gate of the complex, his mind furiously racking through things he might say. The pressure was hardly off either, Sabine had made a point of attaching a hidden camera somewhere on his jumpsuit while she was doing the laundry, so she watch him try and persuade a pair of numb-headed guards that he was some kind of useless child, the job description of everything he tried not to be.
Ezra decided, without considering the obvious, that he should try and put on a slightly higher pitched voice when addressing the Stormtroopers.
"Hey there, I was wondering if you could help me get home? " His rather futile attempt at convincing the guards he was in some kind of trouble worked as a distraction, but not the original one Ezra had in his head. The pair simply took a moment to blankly stare at the 5' 6" kid in front of them and broke out into a fierce fit of laughter, very similar to the scenes later on when Sabine analysed the recorded footage.
"Maybe - if you'd used the donkey as - transport rather than adopting it's voice - you might be there now." one of the troopers squeezed out, as Ezra watched Zeb wink at him as he and Kanan snook through the barrier behind the troopers.
"They'd better appreciate this..." Ezra thought as he looked down to the floor.
"Well, aside from the fact everything went smoothly, that was a fairly routine Op" mused Zeb, as the crew gathered in the commons.
"Yeah, and nice distraction from our young protégé, too. I have to say, Ezra, I didn't think the imperials would go for your unique take on stand up comedy, but I guess it worked." added Kanan, patting a still reeling Ezra on the back.
"It wasn't Ezra's bone dry humour that cracked those goons up, take a look at this." Sabine smirked as she entered the room, cradling a Pad with the camera footage on it. Ezra grimaced as he heard his own crack-riddled voice play back through the poor quality audio from the camera. He didn't even need to look at the crew to note the badly-contained snigger, and simply continued to stare at a particularly interesting piece of piping.
Here we go again...
Ohai there, so you managed to make it through the cringeworthy dialogue to the end, Eh? Well don't fret, I have a special task for all you lovely people. If anyone has an example of an embarrassing story or aspect that would fit this fic, please leave it in a review so I can throw the communities puberty problems at our favourite characters!
I also have a crossover planned, something I wrote a while ago but have improved, so look out for that, too.
Til we meet again!