Grey is here again! I'm hoping for an update schedule and stuff! I may even create a buffer for myself. (Cue children screaming in terror) Well, anyways, expect even more dry and sarcastic humor, as we venture into…
Chapter Three
I Guess He Really Didn't Belong In This World
It was a time of day in The World That Never Was. The weather was non-existent, the bowling alleys were non-existent, and it was looking like a good day to read existential poetry and ponder the true meaning of existence, or lack thereof. As it happens, Xemnas was doing just this. He took time now and then to give pointless speeches on the subject as well.
He then decided to get to work and sorted through the papers on his desk. One in particular stood out to him. It had the seal of Dracula in it. Xemnas opened the envelope and read it aloud to himself. "'Dear Xemnas. It has come to my attention that you have provoked some of my employees.'" Xemnas smiled to himself. "Ah, Annette. Can you really say you didn't deserve the pummeling I gave you? I lost sleep over the boss fight with you… Truly, you were the worst of Rondo of Blood. Anywho… 'I figured I would make an empty threat or two about your mother or something, and then I had the idea of kidnapping your employees. While you have been reading this letter, a summoning rune was placed on your desk and I now have access to your entire castle. Blah blah blah… This guy can write a long time. And he has frilly foofy cursive. Let's not read it and pretend I did." Xemnas lit a lighter and flicked the fire towards the letter, consuming it in flames. "Hehe… burn."
PRE-MEANWHILES…
Xion hit her PSX a little. "C'mon, work with me here!" she said, smacking it in hopes the green light would come on. It sadly did not and she slumped on her bed and closed her eyes. When she woke, it was to the eyes of a skeleton! The author apologizes to the readers for this clearly overused horror trope.
MEANWHILE…
Roxas and Axel were hanging out in Roxas' room and playing video-games.
"Man, Axel. I really thought you had me there." Roxas said dryly, knocking Axel's character off of the stage. No reply came except some muffled grunting noises. Roxas kept his eyes glued to the screen as he knocked Axel's character off of the stage for a third time. "It's like you're not even trying anymore!" Roxas turned his head to look at his friend and upon seeing that Axel was missing, swore loudly. He was then shoved in the same dark portal as Axel was.
ALSO MEANWHILE…
Larxene woke up in her room, peering at the large quantities of punk-rock paraphernalia adorning her walls. She got up and swiftly fell into a trapdoor. "What the heck!" she yelled, struggling against the hordes of skeletons trying to drag her in. "This is so low! You wouldn't hit a girl, would you?"
Dracula appeared above her. "I'd sooner make you my queen."
"Ew. I never understood why vampires found the human female so interesting."
Dracula smiled. "It's not the part where you're a human- well, Nobody female. It's the part where you're a downright sadistic and despicable wretch of a being that I find you appealing."
Larxene smiled in spite of herself. "Okay, you know how to charm a lady. I'll give you that."
INDEED WITH THE MEANWHILE…
Marluxia hummed a little tune to himself as he watered his flowers. He was swiftly owned in several non-character specific ways because the author is indeed, a lazy git.
ONCE MORE WITH MEANWHILE…
Luxord laid down another card on the table aside his 2 and 3. The card he laid down was a 5. Demyx smirked cockily. Luxord laid down an ace, and then he laid down a 4. Demyx then went ballistic and flipped over the table. "I owe you 67,108,864 times what I owed you originally!"
Luxord nodded. "My title is 'The Gambler of Fate.' I seriously think you should have seen this coming."
Demyx stormed out of the room, crying a little. He was then swiftly and comically pulled out of your perspective, whilst various grunts were heard. Luxord leaned over in his chair to see what was going on, and was then shocked to be shot in the eyes. He was shortly after taken hostage.
FOR THE MEANWHILE…
Saïx boredly read his newspaper, taking a sip of his coffee. "I need somebody to pull rank on. Somebody I can pull rank on! Get over here!" To heed his call, he was mobbed by a bunch of flea men. He was then tossed in his own dark portal.
NEEDS MORE MEANWHILE…
Zexion knocked on Xion's door again. He had visited the gym a little and he'd muscled up the tiniest bit. He donned a pair of sunglasses. When the door was opened by a skeleton, he launched into a speech. "Xion, I know you don't want me for a nerdy wimp. I'm here to tell you that the days of that wimp are over. That wimp has decided to take a vision journey across the universe. I'll see you in my dreams, Xi- HOLY CRAP A SKELETON!"
AGAIN WITH THE MEANWHILE…
Lexeaus was working out, as he usually did in the morning. When the skeleton hordes came for him, he thought that Zexion had decided to 'upgrade' his fitness system. In response, he destroyed all of the skeletons, bone by bone. When he finished, the skeletons were smashed into powder. Lexeaus sighed and then set down a legion of roombas on his floor, and then went back to his workout. He was then interrupted by Dracula himself.
"Lexeaus. That was an impressive display!" Dracula said, clapping his hands slowly.
Lexeaus barely regarded him. "I suppose."
"You should work for me."
Lexeaus ignored him.
"Lexeaus, the pay would be better than what you have now and the only hitch is you'd have to die."
"Not interested."
"You dare say NO to the LORD of DARKNESS!"
"Yeah." Lexeaus got up and wiped the sweat from his brow. "What of it?"
Dracula then conjured fireballs which Lexeaus swiftly deflected off of his axe. Lexeaus then smacked Dracula with the flat of his axe, knocking him over.
"Oof… Well, you're going to stand no chance against… this!" Dracula yelled, conjuring a painting which Lexeaus was shortly after trapped in. "That was annoying."
MEANWHILE WITH EMOTION, DANG IT…
Vexen sat in his lab, twiddling away on a pointless invention. He sighed and browsed the net for a bit.
MEANWHILE, WITH THE COOL PEOPLE…
Xaldin and Xigbar were riding around in a gummi ship.
"Xemnas' plan was even more stupid than I'd originally thought," Xaldin sputtered, pulling arrows out of his braids.
Xigbar pulled an arrow out of his kidney. "Aw, chill out. There's no way Xemnas could have known those guys were player characters."
"He knows! I know he knows and he knows that I know that he knows that I know!"
"Less conspiracy theory. More driving. You're gonna drive us right into that castle- you drove us right into the castle wall, nice," Xigbar said, as Xaldin drove them straight into the walls of Castlevania.
"I… planned this. Just for the record," Xaldin said, staring down hordes of Axe and Sword Armors.
"Sure, Xaldin. Sure. Just like you planned to lose to me in that game of chess?"
"I really did plan that one. You looked very depressed that day."
BACK WITH XEMNAS…
Xemnas wandered around the corridors of his now abandoned world. "Anyone there?"
"I'm here, Xemnas," said Dracula, putting a hand on his shoulder.
"Dracula! Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!" cried Xemnas, backing away from Dracula and pointing a light saber towards him.
"You're correct. I should get back to Castlevania. Toodles," he responded, flying off.
Xemnas swore and called one of his contacts. "Hey, Darth. Remember that one time I saved you from dying by giving you new and better organs? Well, I'm calling a favor of my own now."
AT CASTLEVANIA…
Xemnas blasted a hole in the wall with his new TIE Fighter. He leapt into the hole and smirked. "It's show time!"
Xemnas walked through the halls and began causing general mayhem.
AT DRACULA'S THRONE…
"Ah, it's a good day. There are no Belmonts in sight and I have some nice pot roast. Mmmm… Pot roast," Dracula mused, taking a sip of his wine.
Death appeared from thin air. "Dark Prince, sir? There's no Belmont, but there is a Xemnas in the castle. He's kind of messing everything up."
Dracula spat out the wine he was drinking. "Bwwwwwhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? I thought we actually locked the moat up tight this time!"
"Yes, but he came in through the wall."
"I'm going to yell very loudly in three seconds. This is Belmont's fault, mark me."
Death covered his ears, as Dracula screamed, "!"
Death uncovered his ears. "Why don't you throw some bosses at him?"
Dracula nodded. "That sounds like a good plan! Go, Frankenstein!"
MEANWHILE…
Vexen yawned. He continued to browse the internet.
WITH XEMNAS…
Xemnas shot a laser at a skeleton in front of him and walked into the next room. From nowhere, a bolt of lightning struck the corpse in front of him and it rose to its feet. Xemnas rolled his eyes. "Please. They may as well have put dotted lines that say, 'Cut here!'" He ducked under the lightning bolt The Monster- the author is pointing out that Frankenstein is a registered trademark or something- threw at him and tossed a laser sword clean through The Monster's chest. Xemnas collected the soul it left behind and wandered to the next room, pondering as to why it was called The Monster if it looked so human. The author would like to posit that it is in fact humanity that is the monster and The Monster is merely a manifestation of our own fears. How does this make sense? It doesn't.
WITH DRACULA…
"Maybe Franke- The Monster didn't work… But I have a werewolf!"
WITH XEMNAS…
Xemnas walked by the Werewolf, breaking the door that would have blocked his way down, and paused to pull a single silver coin out of his pocket of holding and tossed it at the werewolf, leaving it to die a slow and agonizing death.
MEANWHILE…
Vexen swore at his computer. "No! Wizard plus Phoenix should equal Albus Dumbledore!"
WITH DRACULA…
Dracula began throwing things across the room, spitting ragefully, "Does anything in this castle have the power to stop that man? All three of you! Mummy, Bat Company, and… I dunno, Shaft for all I care!"
WITH XEMNAS…
Xemnas peered at the enemies heading his way. He sighed, pulled out a flashlight to shine at the Bat Company, cut a ribbon loose from mummy and watched the ribbons fall away as the corpse decayed rapidly at the air it had just been exposed to. Whilst this was happening, the Bat Company continued to flock at Xemnas, who simply used lasers to pick them off one by one. The mummy had by this point become a skeleton, one Xemnas easily decapitated. It was then that Xemnas noticed a man with two orbs floating around him, dressed in religious garb.
"Who's the sexy minion who brings Dracula back from the dead?" sang half of an on-looking choir of skeletons.
"Shaft!" replied the other half of the choir.
"Daaaaaaamn right," said Shaft.
"Finally, I might get a decent fight!" Xemnas exclaimed in relief, "I had to kill my enemies comically! I was running out of quips!"
Shaft then yelled, "Shaft of Fire!" Xemnas ducked under the ball of fire coming his way. The author realized halfway through typing this section that some readers may not have Shaft's move set memorized. In this case, the author is sorry, but you're not the one percent of the population I'm trying to cater to. All apologies.
After intense debate with the author's imaginary lawyer, Billy, the author has decided it would be smarter to tell you what the attacks do. Short description- Shaft of Fire- fireballs run around screen. Dodgey dodgey. Shaft of Thunder- Thunder rains from above. Harmless first two times but you must move for the third. And the other attack is stupid and doesn't matter!
The author apologizes for this detour and will make an honest attempt to get back to comedy.
"Less than cool! I try to have a civil conversation with you and this is what you do in return?" Xemnas picked himself up off the ground in time to dodge out of the third Shaft of Thunder. "I swear to Zeus, that Shaft is one bad mother-"
"Shut yo mouth!" said the aforementioned skeleton choir.
"But he is! I try to talk with him and he shuts me down!" Xemnas cried at the choir, jumping over another Shaft of Fire, throwing a round of lasers towards Shafts face.
"Shaft of Lightning!" yelled Shaft.
Xemnas shook his head. "You know what? I'm not doing this, Shaft!" Xemnas reached up and grabbed the orbs and crushed them in his hands. "I'm done being civil, Shaft. I'm going to push the envelope on this K+ rated story, and do something unexpected." The author realizes that his original plan was far too graphic for K+ standards and has changed it to something considerably less coarse.
Xemnas stuck his tongue out at Shaft and blew a raspberry at him. He walked off, snapping his fingers to trap Shaft in a laser field.
WITH DRACULA…
Dracula swore. "That was the last boss I had! How can you simply tell me he was a hilarious one-off villain!"
Death shrugged.
"Enough of your shrugging, Bone Boy! Go fight the not-Belmont!" yelled Dracula.
"As you wish." The author realizes the Princess Bride reference and subsequent implied joke here.
"Hm. All alone now, maybe I should try to come up with some moves. See if I still have it… Hm, fireballs, yes… TELEPORTING! He'll never expect that!" Dracula chuckled mirthlessly to himself. "Ah, you've outdone yourself this time, Dracula." He sat down in his chair and took a sip of his wine.
Xemnas kicked down the door leading to Dracula's throne. "I know this question comes kinda out of left-field, but would you take Sora's shoes if you had the chance?"
Dracula choked on some of the wine he was drinking. In between coughs, he spat, "Death died that fast! He goes down that fast again and he will become a regular freaking enemy! Just like Axe Armor! And that pathetic Werewolf kid!"
Xemnas rolled his eyes. "Dracula, I know you hate saying the lines, but it's not going to be a parody unless we say them."
"No! I'm never going to say the lines! Never!"
"Perhaps it would behoove you to know I'll pay you?"
Dracula sighed. In a complete monotone, he muttered, "Go on."
Xemnas adopted his most heroic pose and yelled, "Die, monster! You don't belong in this world!"
Dracula replied in utter monotone, "It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh. I was brought back by humans, who wish to pay me tribute."
Xemnas looked puzzled. "Tribute? You steal men's souls, and make them your slaves!"
"Perhaps the same could be said of all religions," replied Dracula, stirring his wine a little. The author is proud of himself for not making a scientology joke.
"Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a savior such as you!" cried Xemnas, brandishing a whip made of lasers.
"What is a man. A miserable little pile of secrets. Enough of this, have at you," said Dracula unenthusiastically. Xemnas then exploded into fan-joy.
"Dude, that was awesome! When you were like, 'Perhaps the same could be said of all religions,' I was just all, 'Your words are as empty as your soul!'" Xemnas said, hands held together in happiness.
Dracula put a hand to his eyes and pulled his eyes out into almonds, watching Xemnas be fan girlish. Dracula nodded to Larxene who was waiting in the shadows.
Larxene clubbed Xemnas with a large bust of Chuck Norris. The author realizes Chuck Norris is no longer funny, and would like to point out that the bust was a memorial to comedy in his name. Back to comedy!
Dracula smiled. "Excellent, my sadistic comrade. I don't think he's knocked out yet. You can hit him more."
"Sounds like such a plan," said Larxene, whacking Xemnas into the floor, eventually breaking the floor open and sending him flying into a different room. "That… was shoddy construction."
"The castle rebuilds itself with every new Castlevania. It's alright," Dracula said, shrugging the problem off. "How do you like your new vampiric powers?"
"Makes me feel tingly. Like I could destroy all of humanity by lifting a finger."
"That, my dear, is because you can. The legions of mooks are there for a reason, and that reason is destroying all of humanity," Dracula replied, smiling.
Larxene tested lifting a finger. The hordes of mooks began destroying the country-side. "Wait… does that set all the legions loose?"
"Yes, why?"
Larxene smacked Dracula upside the head. "You idiot! Now we have nobody guarding the rest of the Organization!"
"It's solid unobtanium. I doubt they'll be able to break out so eas-"
The wall broke again, and Marluxia advanced on Dracula, wielding Death's Scythe. Marluxia smirked an in-character smirk.
"-y," Dracula finished.
The author would like to direct you to that expert use of an in-text exposit. The author declares himself credit to team.
Dracula sighed and covered his face with his palm. "I'd say I deserve this, but… I don't like it when things don't go my way."
Larxene patted him on the shoulder. "There there, master. I'll take care of this."
Larxene and Marluxia eyed each other. The two then burst into a deadly dance of death- the dance? Mariachi. At this point, Axel and Roxas found their way to the throne room, and rather than join in the fight, broke the wall, stole some of Dracula's pot roast and then popped popcorn.
Marluxia ducked a blow by Larxene, and was swiftly caught by a painful jab to the stomach. He winced in pain and grimaced. "If you two are going to hang out here, could you at least cheer!"
"Woo, Marly!" cheered Roxas, half-heartedly pumping a fist into the air.
Axel cupped his hands to his mouth and called, "Marly, you da man! Wait, he is the man, right?"
Marluxia deflected a number of blows from Larxene and yelled, "Axel, you're not allowed to talk any more!"
"Says you and what army?" yelled Axel at Marluxia.
It was at this point Xaldin entered the room, and blew the dueling two into the air, dashing at Dracula. Dracula's eyes widened as he swiftly teleported out of the way of the oncoming Xaldin Pain-Train Express.
Axel whistled. "I'm impressed, Xaldin, it's like you knew what was gonna happen!"
"I'm omniscient, don't you know?" Xaldin replied sarcastically.
"Your sarcasm is not solving this mystery!" Axel exclaimed.
MEANWHILE…
Vexen stretched out in his chair. "Maybe I should do something important…? It's my shift at the security post, right…" sluggishly, Vexen got out of his chair and meandered his way to the security station. Flipping through the channels, he noticed all the members of the Organization were away. He smiled. "Do you know what this means, readers?" he asked, looking at the camera, or where it would be were this a TV show. "It means I get to steal my copy of Legend of Zelda Master Quest back from Axel."
The author realizes that this may not seem like a big feat. The author would like to tell you that you are crazy. Axel's room was protected by three pillars of fire, a moat of lava, a hallway of fifty-four bombs- the creature from Final Fantasy- and last but not least, a raving robotic gopher. Vexen shuddered at the thought of the gopher.
He donned a fireproof suit and his big freaking shield and set into the heart of madness. He dodged past the pillars of fire, ran straight through the wall of fire after surrounding himself in a block of ice, and covered the hallway containing the bombs in a coat of ice. Vexen couldn't let himself rest, though. The gopher was next.
Vexen steeled himself for the gopher's assault and crashed into the room, shield poised in front of him to deflect any lasers he may encounter. He stepped away as the gopher burst from the ground he was standing on, and smacked it to the wall with his shield. The gopher then buried itself into the wall. Vexen frenziedly ran for the game, ducking under the gophers bursting from the wall. Eventually, one of them got him in the head, and Vexen fell to the floor a foot in front of the game. He reached for it, his eyes longingly gazing at the game. His vision was then obscured by one of Axel's gopher minions. Vexen then shot a freeze ray from his eyes. "I looked at it coldly! Geddit!" Vexen asked the author, an out-of-character grin plastered over his face. The author asserts that he got it.
Vexen then stood up- the robot gophers were honestly not that big a threat, and they merely nibbled on his fire-proof suit. Vexen brushed a few of them aside, and grabbed the game. This set off a trap. The podium with the game on it retracted in the ground and a giant boulder tumbled down to assault Vexen. Vexen yelled, "It's a trap!" and began running in a desperate plea to escape the room before the door shut with him still trapped. Vexen dived underneath the door, leaving his shield behind, but swiftly retrieving it. Vexen smiled. "That went well." He hurried back to his own room to set up his own dooms-day course to protect his game.
BACK WITH THE SEMI-IMPORTANT PLOT…
Saix wandered around the castle's catacombs, clearly lost. "Anyone there? I'm kinda lost…" He yelled. He sighed to himself. "Dammit, I knew I should have gotten that map."
He continued wandering around the crypts, completely unfazed by the scenery. He loowed in every coffin, and eventually wandered into a save room. He looked suspiciously at the glowing pinata-ball thing and shrugged, wandering out of the room. The author realizes that this was in no way important to the plot at all, and thinks getting back to the story would be best now.
TO THE IMPORTANT PLOT!
Marluxia swung his scythe straight at Larxene, who quickly dodged the blow. Larxene then punched at him with his claw, but Marluxia jumped five feet into the air to avoid the blow, landing a good five feet away from Larxene. He then conjured a blue ball of energy. "Hadouken!" yelled Marluxia, tossing the ball at Larxene.
"What! Since when were you Ryuu!" shrieked Larxene, being assaulted with numerous other blasts of energy.
"Sokenzuken!" cried Marluxia, fading towards Larxene and uppercutting her in the face.
"Use quarter-circle back! It's the transformation move!" Roxas said.
Larxene fell flat on the ground, springing back to her feet and yelling, "This is not Street Fighter, dingbat!" The author was trying to type dagnabbit but word kept changing it to dingbat. Eventually the author accepted it. How he typed the actual word in the line prior to this? Blood, sweat, tears, and three casts of Holy-10.
Marluxia clearly ignored Larxene's comments, as he swiftly adopted a ridiculous pose and proceeded to slice and dice Larxene with his new scythe with all manner of fancy fighting styles, eventually placing his scythe in front of her neck and pulling it through, yelling "Kroderyuukuuken!" There was no blood or anything though. This is still K+.
Axel whistled. "Nice Ultra, Marly!"
"You aren't allowed to talk!"
Larxene sprang to her feet. "Takes more than a decapitation to kill me!" she cried, leaping at Marluxia and kicking him to the ground.
"But in Buffy The Vampire Slayer, that was one of the ways you could kill a vampire!" cried Marluxia. The author doesn't think his watching of that needs justifying, actually.
Larxene let Marluxia get to his feet to attack her, but she deflected the blow off of her claws, letting Marluxia stumble away, as she grabbed him and tossed him into the air, tossing a raining shower of kunai at him. She continued to ward off his blows and combed him into the air. Eventually, she broke his guard, leaving him staggering.
"Look out Marluxia! She's going for the critical blow!" yelled Roxas.
Alas, it was too late. Marluxia had been struck by the initiator. Marluxia was kicked to the ground, and he was used as a springboard to jump into the air by Larxene, as she tossed a shower off thunder and kunai at him, and when she landed, tore the ground leading to him with thunder. Marluxia was knocked away.
Axel ate some more of his popcorn. "So that's one round to Marly and one to Larxene, right?"
Roxas grabbed a handful of the popcorn. "And we've already ran through two of the most important fighting series… What could we use for the third?"
As if in response, a bob-omb dropped from midair, as Marluxia sprung to his feet. He ran towards it, picked it up and tossed it at Larxene who vanished out of the way. She appeared behind Marluxia, grabbed him, kneed him in the privates a little and tossed him against the ground. Marluxia was undeterred by the ruthless attack on his privates and smacked Larxene against a wall, using his side-B move to create a shockwave- one Larxene was hit by, her punishment being the host to the vicious parasite, Florus Mindsappus. The scientists who named the plant were a wee bit drunk.
Larxene then used her normal-B move to toss a knive at Marluxia, one he shrugged off and continued walking towards her, opening by tossing his scythe at her, then kicked her into the scythe which was stopping in mid-air for. When she hit the scythe, she bounced back at him and he was prepared with a swift kick to the ground. The damage meters read- Marluxia- 59%, Larxene 104%. It was at this point that a smash ball appeared.
Marluxia scrambled for the smash ball, retrieving his scythe to toss it again, and sending a stream of flower petals at it. Unfortunately, Larxene sprung off of Marluxia's head to reach the smash ball. She broke it open and started glowing. She cackled maniacally. "Now, Marluxia… You will know the true meaning of power!" she cried, transforming into a vampiric form of herself. Marluxia was unimpressed.
"Lady, my final smash is me getting on my Reaper Nobody and blowing up the stage, leaving everybody to fall for ten seconds. Every single death during the time counts as my kill," Marluxia said dismissively.
"I like this form, okay!" Larxene screeched.
"Just saying, it seems kinda weak… Oh look, I talked you through your timer! You're a regular person again!" Marluxia said, laughing at his fortune/tactics.
"What! No! This is ridiculous, this is…!" Larxene screeched in agony.
Marluxia used his scythe to make her stare him in the eyes. "This is war, mongrel." The author is proud of his self-restraint- he didn't make the obvious 300 joke!
Marluxia cut her head off, leaving her to lie in dust.
Axel cheered, until he realized that this meant they needed to buy a Phoenix Down to rez her as it was his rez week.
WITH THE OTHER TWO DUELISTS…
Xaldin knocked Dracula in the air and trapped him in a makeshift cage with his spears. Dracula then teleported himself away, sending fireballs at Xaldin. Xaldin sighed. "Dracula, it's really boring to fight you when you act like you always do, you know."
"More fireballs! More teleporting! More dark orbs!"
Xaldin easily avoided each attack by walking to the side. He put a comforting hand on Dracula's shoulder, and told him, "Real-life is not in 2.5d."
Dracula bared his teeth at Xaldin. "I know that, you imbecile, monkey-head, ugly oaf!"
Xaldin looked hurt. "Dracula, just because I'm not a pretty-boy, it doesn't mean I'm ugly. I think I'm fairly manly myself." He launched spears at Dracula, who was pinned against the wall. Dracula teleported again.
Xaldin pulled the spears back to him again and sighed boredly, pulling out a stop-watch to see how long it would take him to reappear. When Xaldin got to around the eight-minute mark, Xaldin figured Dracula had ran away like a coward. Xaldin smiled.
"I believe we can call this a victory! Come gents! Let us raise a glass to this success."
Marluxia cheered, Axel muttered something about "Phoenix pot-roast" and Roxas made a sick-face. Fun fact- Roxas is one of the few characters in this fan fiction I'm not having drink underage!
"But first, where the hell is the rest of the Organization?" asked Xaldin. He peered through the hole in the floor. "There's Xemnas. Roxas, cure spell."
Roxas raised his key blade and Xemnas sprung back to non-existence. Semnas floated his way through the floor. "Bluh. Before anyone says any heinous lies about number XII beating me in a fight, it was an AMBUSH. It was un-sportsman like," Xemnas said.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Fezzik." Roxas said. "Where is everyone?"
Xaldin shrugged. "They could be anywhere in the castle by now. I told them to split up and kill anything that's not us."
Xemnas gasped in mock-horror. "But Xaldin! We could have killed a protagonist!"
Xaldin stifled a chuckle. "Now, I say we use portals to get back to the castle. Hope you weren't too attached to that TIE Fighter, Xemnas."
"It was a good ship."
"There there," Xaldin said in mock emotion. "Now, let's assume everyone is back at home and eating a delicious cake right now! Maybe they'll even give us some," he said, conjuring a dark portal to reach The Castle That Never Was.
And they were! It's kind of unusual, considering all the bad things that happen to them, amirite?
Chapter End
I do enjoy my somewhat obscure references. Mmhmm. I had quite a bit of fun writing this one. If you enjoyed it, review it, if you hated it, flame me for all I care. Please continue to read my fan fiction, I'm hoping to make an update schedule of Sundays and Tuesdays.
DISCLAIMER: I won nothing. Sad face.
Grey be out, dawgzz. Keep it real.