Notes: Heavily inspired by a fanfic in the Teen Titans fandom and conversations on the couch during commercials.
Disclaimer: The awesomeness that is iCarly wrapped up in a quirky Seattle belongs to Dan- the CREATOR MAN - Schneider.
Part Three: Chess
"Tuxedo Man to Red Cross. Is Phase One complete?"
"Positive is on his way over. I'm heading to the grocery store. And the pharmacy. For backup medical supplies."
In his room, Spender grinned. "Web Princess is in the studio, and Negative is on the couch. I have planted the bomb." He straightened an imaginary bowtie. Man. Tuxedo Man.
"It had better not catch on fire."
"It's a cardboard and plastic chess set. It won't catch fire."
"You've set the bell in the lobby on fire."
"This is different!" Spencer whined. "I'm nowhere near it!"
"Fine. Over and out."
"Over and out!"
Spencer released the button and did a little one-two-step with his reflection, then shrieked – it was a manly shriek! – when the walkie-talkie caught fire.
"Where's Carly? She said she wanted me to show her how to HTML a poll for iCarly."
Sam looked up from a generously packed and stacked sandwich, courtesy of Carly herself, and shrugged. Freddie didn't' sound too good, but he was wearing a belt and when a drop of mustard stained the TV remote in her lap he did that thing with his eyebrows.
"She said she had to go down to storage with Spencer to help him dig up something they were supposed to mail to her dad, I think."
He gave no response, choosing to collapse onto the couch beside her, setting his laptop down on the coffee table.
"Know how long she'll be down there?" he asked, wincing at the huge bite she took.
Again, she shrugged. "Nope. Aren't you gonna run down there like a knight to a damsel in distress to help her out?"
He gave a bitter half laugh. "Nah. Why bother? She'll never love me, right?"
Sam choked a little on the tomato and sat up. "Run that by me again, Frederly?"
He shrugged. "Time I stopped deluding myself, don't you think?"
Sam breathed easily when he gave her a relaxed smile, then covered it up by bolting the rest of the ham, biting her finger.
"Never thought I'd see the day," she muttered, allowing herself a small smirk.
He laughed openly at that. "Yeah, well I've seen you in a skirt and heels. It wasn't completely inevitable."
"I looked hot," Sam countered, sauntering off to the kitchen for a glass of punch. She didn't see him silently agree, looking down at his shoes and conjuring up the image with a slight nod. When he looked up he noticed the box under the Galaxy Wars DVDs and a coupon for 2 lbs of mangos.
"Hey, Princess Puckett, do you play chess?"
She leaned against the counter and took an annoyingly long sip of Wahoo, licked her lips and considered.
"That the one with the horses?"
Freddie grinned. "Yeah."
She burped eloquently, and Freddie knew she would agree before she opened her mouth again.
"Red Cross to Web Princess."
"Tuxedo Man's talkie caught fire..."
"I thought it might."
In the studio, Carly opened up a webcam function on her computer. "Positive and Negative have found the bomb," she confirmed.
"Have you thought of what excuse you're going to use when they figure out you're not in the basement with Spencer?"
"...uh... yeah. Haven't thought of that, yet."
"Sam. You can't do that."
"You told me the object of the game was to out the king, Fredward."
"Be that as it may, you don't start the game like that. White moves first."
Sam scowled at the board. "If you want to move first, fine. I'm still going to kick your nerd butt at this game."
Freddie smiled and moved a pawn, setting up his box.
Sam moved a knight.
"Sam."
"I moved it in an 'L' shape," she began to argue.
"I was just going to say it was a... unique move."
Her glare softened slightly. "That's me."
Two of Freddie's pawns fell. Sam lost a rook, two pawns, and a bishop. Her hair tumbled over her shoulders and Freddie could feel her getting ready to physically attack the board.
"You're doing that thing with your eyebrows again, Freddison."
"It's just interesting to see you contemplate a move. I didn't think I'd ever see you get strategical over a board game."
Sam moved her knight. "I think that's called a checkmate, huh, Benson?" She said triumphantly. Freddie regarded his king. This would be the time to use a gambit. They had a bet running: Loser does the winner one favor, no questions asked, and Freddie had a few things in mind. Like having Sam replace him in Mother-Son Synchronized Swimming. The King's Gambit was his best move. "Alright, Puckett. Get ready for the beginning of the end," he declared, deliberately lifting a pawn.
"Tuxedo Man to Web Princess."
"I thought your talkie was on fire."
"I found another one and rewired it. Took me a while. I kept getting caught in a conversation with two guys who thought I spoke Spanish and knew how to get to El Paso."
"Okay... listen, know that I've got you, we have a problem. I told Sam that we were in the storage basement. How am I supposed to get back downstairs?"
"I'll radio Red Cross for a distraction. How are Negative and Positive doing?"
Carly cued up the webcam again. "We have confirmation on Phase 2!" she crowed. "They're playing chess, and Sam's doing that thing with her hair." Carly was probably the only one who'd ever gotten Sam to admit that the only reason she never cut her hair was its great sexual appeal. And she sometimes subconsciously let it fall over her shoulders in all its glory around guys.
"Red Cross to Web Princess. I have a distraction ready. Standby. Initiating in one minute."
Carly quickly covered her webcam tracks and put the laptop into hibernate mode before leaving the studio and taking the stairs.
"Freddie! I need your underwear," Mrs. Benson declared, barging into the apartment and circling around so that Sam and Freddie's attention was divereted from the staircase.
"Mom!" Freddie protested. Her sudden entrance had startled him and the chess board lay overturned on the floor, pieces scattered over the couch and the rug.
Surprisingly, Sam ignored the completely open interpretation for the need for Freddie's underwear and chose to launch herself at him.
"You cheat! I was going to beat you and you had to knock the board over!"
They toppled from couch to coffee table.
"Sam! It was an accident!"
Mrs. Benson hovered over them fretting. "Let him go!" If only she had remembered the first aid kit... "Samantha!" she reached out to undo the headlock, and all three of them jumped out of the stress at the sound of a crash. Carly pulled herself up, holding onto the banister.
"Uh... why do you need Freddie's underwear, Mrs. Benson?" she asked.
Sam gaped at her, still hanging onto Freddie from behind.