"Your Secret Admirer"
Part Three
Thankfully, James had stopped taking interest in Remus' mail, and he didn't even notice when Remus received another secret letter. He didn't notice the next letter either. Or even the next. Sirius' plan was working brilliantly.
Sirius was completely unaware of the dopey smile on his own face as he watched Remus read his latest letter. Remus could finally read the letters in peace without James acting like an idiot.
Pleased, Sirius shot James a triumphant look, but the feeling quickly turned to fear.
Reaching for the butter, James was leaning dangerously close to Remus and the letter. Another inch and James would be able to see 'My darling Remus' in the Generic Girly font of the Perfect Penmanship Quill. Sirius had to act fast-
The potato bowl exploded violently.
Remus was somewhat shielded from the blast by the letter, and he idly wiped a bit of potato off his forehead. James, who had fallen victim to the full blast and was now coated in smashed potato, glared across the table at Sirius.
A potato covered eyebrow raised in challenge.
The pitcher of pumpkin juice beside Sirius exploded, soaking him with cold sticky liquid. At once they were duelling. Bacon flew through the air like darts, a basket of rolls was launched into the air and rolls rained down over their heads, fruits splattered as they hit the walls. Chaos raged around them. Other students joined the battle as well, and were either happily hurling pastries at one another or ducking under the tables for cover.
"STOP!" came Dumbledore's booming voice over the students' battle cries, and at once all the food flying through the air vanished.
"POTTER! BLACK! DETENTION!" How often had he heard those three words together?
Reluctantly, Sirius decided that continuing to write the letters was too dangerous. He had been too close to getting caught. Not only was there the original problem of keeping it secret from Remus, but now Sirius had to keep it secret from James and Peter as well. He couldn't very well start a school-wide food fight every time he wrote another letter (well he could, but being made to scrub out the fourth floor toilets wasn't something he wanted to be doing all that often, or ever).
Finally the last mysterious stain had been removed from behind the sink, and Sirius was finished his detention. He stood up to leave, banged his head on the bottom of the sink, and had an epiphany.
He wouldn't have to stop writing the letters altogether - he just had make sure they were delivered while James wasn't around. Persuading James to miss breakfast would be attempting the impossible, but Sirius could arrange so that the letters were delivered at other times. Most of the school owls tended to be a bit lazy and only delivered letters with the morning post, but a few of the more rambunctious owls were willing to make immediate deliveries. So, after thoroughly removing the leftover grime from under his fingernails, Sirius made his way to the Owlry.
He pulled out the Perfect Penmanship Quill (that he now carried with him at all times, just in case inspiration struck) and began to write.
'My Remus,
I think about you all the time. I dream that we're together, and you're mine to hold. It may be too much to hope for but I can't help it. You're the most beautiful person I've ever met, inside and out.
Love always,
Your Secret Admirer'
"Take this to him now," Sirius told the energetic barn owl, who was hoping back and forth as Sirius tried to tie the letter to its leg. The owl nipped him on the finger in a recalcitrant manner before it swooped out of the Owlry. Sirius swore after it as he wrapped his bleeding finger in his shirt-sleeve.
By the time Sirius got back to the dormitory, Remus was sporting a similarly bleeding finger and was reading the letter. James was nowhere in sight. Sirius grinned.
The new plan worked marvelously. Remus received a few deliveries at strange times (while doing his Prefects' duties, while in Arithmacy, while in the bath) but still he didn't say a word about the strange letters or interruptions. Sirius had just sent of a particularly sweet letter (that would be delivered to Remus in the library, most likely) and was now alone in the dormitory, feeling very pleased about his own poetic ability.
He was startled by a loud bang at the window, and looked to find an owl flapping just outside. Puzzled, Sirius walked over and opened the window for the owl, which promptly began beating Sirius around the head with its flapping wings.
Sirius ducked for cover and the owl finally settled down on the window ledge. It was then that Sirius recognized the owl as the same one he had just sent off to Remus, and it still had the letter he had written attached to its leg.
"You stupid thing," Sirius muttered, glaring at the owl. Couldn't it figure out where it was supposed to deliver the letter to? Yes, this was Remus' room, but the owl should have delivered it directly to Remus.
Grumbling, Sirius took the letter from the owl. He'd have to go back to the Owlry and send it again with an owl that performed its duties properly.
It was then that Sirius noticed that the letter was not written in the Generic Girly font of the Perfect Penmanship Quill. Utterly confused, he opened the letter.
'To My Secret Admirer,
I'm sorry, but I just can't bear it anymore. I had written this letter and was anxiously awaiting your next letter so I could send it by return post. I've become obsessed with the desire for you to reveal yourself. Please meet me tonight at 11:00PM on the top of the Astronomy Tower. I know I already love you.
With love,
Your Remus'
Sirius stared at the letter in horror.
No. No. This couldn't be happening. Peter had been right; Remus really had fallen for the girl who was supposed to be writing these letters. What was Sirius going to do! When this mysterious girl didn't reveal herself, Remus would surely be heartbroken. And Sirius couldn't reveal that it had been him who had been writing the letters. The apology and explanation would have to involve James, and then James would know that Sirius had been continuing writing letters, and Remus would figure it all out, and Sirius' secret would be revealed, and, and...
No!
When the dormitory door opened, Sirius nearly jumped in fright. Remus peeked into the room, and Sirius thought he could feel his own heart shattering.
"Here you are, Padfoot! I've been looking for you." Remus smiled as he made his way over to Sirius' bed. Seeing Remus' smile simultaneous made Sirius' heart soar and his stomach drop. Really, he felt like he was about to be sick.
"I have a favour to ask you. This is a bit embarrassing to talk about, but, well..." Remus laughed lightly, nervously. "For about a month now, I've been getting letters from a 'secret admirer'. And I sent a letter back asking this person to meet me at the Astronomy Tower tonight."
Sirius swallowed hard. It felt like a rock was in his throat.
"But... you know me. I'm... well, I'm shy. I need some moral support to come with me."
Sirius tried to keep the horrified look off his face. "You want me to come with you tonight?"
"Well, you'd have to stay under the invisibility cloak, for sure. But I need you to be there. So will you come with me?"
That smile. How could Sirius say no to that? Reluctantly, Sirius agreed. Besides, Remus really would need some moral support tonight. When this girl didn't show up he'd be heartbroken.
The afternoon turned to evening and Sirius felt increasingly ill. Guilt wasn't a feeling he was familiar with. The last time he had felt this miserable had been in fifth year after that stupid prank, when Sirius had though that he'd lost Remus as friend forever. Now he could hardly even look at his supper, and seeing Remus sitting across the table and looking so hopeful made Sirius feel even worse. He tried to work up the courage to tell Remus that this had all been a hoax, but he just couldn't. When evening came and Remus finally gathered Sirius from their dormitory to go to the Astronomy Tower, Sirius felt like looking for a hole he could crawl into to die.
They made their way to the Astronomy Tower in silence, Remus cheerfully walking on ahead and Sirius sulking behind. When they reached the top of the Tower, Remus assumed a position standing dashingly by the door, and Sirius hid under the cloak. He wished he could disappear for real.
11:00 came and went, and every minute that passed after it was agony. By now Remus had given up standing by the door and had come to sit with Sirius with the cloak wrapped around their shoulders. It was comfortable like this, and Sirius would be thinking about how nice it was to be watching the stars alone with Remus if he wasn't busy mentally kicking himself for being a coward, a liar, and a sorry excuse for a Gryffindor. 11:30 came, and Sirius added 'bad friend' to that list as well.
Finally Sirius coughed. "I don't think she's coming."
Remus shrugged. He didn't seem fazed that his secret admirer hadn't shown up.
"C'mon Moony, it's already half eleven, she's not very punctual. Would you really want a tardy secret admirer? Could you deal with that? I think we'd better get out of here before it's too late."
"Just a bit longer."
The horrible twist of jealousy added itself to the general misery that had been consuming Sirius. Remus really wanted to meet the secret admirer. He had written that he was in love with whatever stupid girl he thought was writing the letters. Sirius would laugh if he didn't feel so awful; here he was, jealous of himself.
"What are you hoping for? To have her be your girlfriend?" Sirius asked, trying to keep the bitterness out of his voice.
"Not quite," Remus replied, amused.
"Then why do you want to meet her?"
"Oh, I think I know who it is already."
Oh no. Remus really had gotten his hopes up that it had been a particular girl. The feelings of jealousy increased. Had Sirius' letters really been building up some girl that Remus fancied?
"W-who?" Sirius asked nervously. He almost didn't want to know.
"Someone... someone I really care for."
The tenderness in Remus' voice was heartbreaking. This was it. It was far too late to save Remus' feelings, but Sirius knew that he had to confess.
He couldn't look at Remus. Not now. Not when he was about to shatter Remus' hopes.
"... Remus, I-"
A hand covered Sirius' mouth, and his eyes darted up to find Remus smiling tenderly at him.
"'I love you,'" Remus finished.
And then the hand moved away from his mouth, and Remus was leaning towards him. Oh.
This couldn't be real. Remus' lips were warm and soft, and Sirius couldn't even think to close his eyes as he kissed back because, because-
Oh!
Remus pulled back, and that tender smile was still on his face. "Well?"
Sirius could only stare.
"How did you know?" he finally managed, and it sounded far less cool and manly than he would have liked.
Remus laughed. "Padfoot, you daft dog. Didn't you realize it?" Remus pulled a piece of parchment out of his robes. As Remus unfolded it, Sirius saw that it was the very first letter he had written to Remus as a secret admirer.
"That's how I knew," Remus said, pointing to the words 'Dear Moony' at the beginning of the letter.
Sirius stared at the words. Had he really written that? The letter had been sincere. Maybe he had gotten too caught up in the inspiration and not realized that he had addressed it to 'Moony'.
Remus was still grinning at the shocked look on Sirius' face. "When James started acting like a prat over the letter at breakfast, I figured something was up. I suppose it could have been written by any of you, but to be honest I had been hoping for some sort of romantic confession from you for a while. Your face was awfully red at the table."
"It was not," Sirius said indignantly. He didn't blush like some giddy girl. Though really, he was far too ecstatic to worry about that right now. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
Remus' smile was so bloody charming. "Oh, you know me. I'm shy," he said playfully.
"You're not shy! I know it."
"Well, why didn't you tell me? I think we were both scared of ruining things, and it took some time to work up the courage. It's quite a delicate subject between friends. But," Remus kissed him again, and Sirius couldn't help but smile into the the kiss, "I think we get our happy ending, no?"
Where did he go right? By all means Sirius shouldn't be sitting at the top of the Astronomy Tower with Remus at his side. He really shouldn't be holding Remus' hand. But Remus had known all along, and the whole thing had ended much better than Sirius had ever thought possible.
"You have horrible taste, you know. I thought maybe you were all cultured because of all those old Muggle books you read, but if you like my letters I'm going to have to reconsider if you're any judge of quality at all!"
"They were a bit... saccharine. I did like them, though. But I think I'd like them even more if they were signed 'Sirius Black'."
"Horrible taste," Sirius repeated, though he couldn't keep the smile off his face.
"I suppose you're right, Padfoot. My taste is really going to the dogs."
Sirius kissed him to shut him up.
-THE END-
[Thank you for reading and thank you for the feedback! This is the first fanfic I've posted in many years so I was nervous about posting, but I'm very happy that this story was enjoyed. Your kind reviews really mean a lot to me, so thank you again!]