It's been a wild night. How are our boys handling the morning? Leave me a review?
Bit of a lemon warning
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN 'we had sex'?" Itachi shrieked when Kisame flatly told him straight what had happened and therefore why Itachi couldn't walk and had a white substance caked to a large portion of his chest.
"…Twice actually," Kisame replied casually, leaning up against the closed door, "You're surprisingly horny when you're drunk. Are you sure you've never been with a guy? You seemed pretty good at pleasuring a man –"
"Kisame, I don't appreciate how damn casual you are about this!" Itachi snapped, clutching at the sheet that was draped around his waist to preserve a bit of modesty.
"I'm not bothered," he chuckled with a shrug, "I'm gay and you're hot." Itachi's eyes flashed angrily at this, "What?"
"Did you plan this?" Itachi growled darkly, flicking his hair out of his face. Kisame smirked a little bit, noting how flustered and how thoroughly fucked looking his friend looked.
"No," he assured him, "I was plastered, and you were…" He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, "…It's not like I forced myself on you…"
"Then why –"
"Well…" Kisame chuckled, "There was someone in your room, so I brought you here; you went to find some pyjamas in your closet and I waited on your bed…and you got naked, and wouldn't put on clothes…And then you came over and straddled me…" Itachi's eyes widened in horror and shame, "And started kissing me, and grabbed my hands and put them on your ass…And this leads to that and my dick ended up in your ass. Repetitively."
"Don't say it like that!" Itachi snapped as Kisame folded his arms, "And don't look so pleased with yourself!"
"Sorry, Itachi," he replied with a smirk, "You sure are demanding in the sack though; not to mention loud –"
"Kisame!"
"Do you remember it?"
"…Bits and pieces…" Itachi mumbled sheepishly, blushing a little.
"Did you like it?"
"Excuse me?"
Kisame didn't repeat himself, just shoved his hands in his pockets and looked at his friend expectantly, raising an eyebrow as Itachi swallowed loudly and ran a hand through his hair.
"That's not the point," he snapped irritably, "The point is that we are friends and I was very, very drunk…and that should not have happened; and will never happen again…and now I can't fucking walk!" Kisame chuckled again and began walking forwards towards his bed. He'd woken up naked with Itachi snuggling up against him and when he'd clambered out of bed, the Uchiha had stretched out comfortably and actually rather cutely –not that Kisame would ever call Itachi 'cute'.
"Come on, I'll carry you to the bathroom…" he remarked, flinging a pair of pants over so that Itachi could cover up a little more.
"I am not –"
" –Everyone's comatose; no one's going to see," Kisame assured him, grabbing a towel as Itachi gingerly managed to drag on his pants. Itachi glowered at him for a long moment before finally sighing in resignation and staggering from his bed once more; Kisame supporting him.
"…This is not funny…" Itachi muttered flatly as he began ever-so-slowly limping towards the door.
"It's a little funny…" Kisame chuckled, only to smirk at his rather pissed off friend. "I had a good time."
"Shut up," Itachi sniffed haughtily, and then averted his eyes, "…Though I'll admit…you do have a massive dick." Kisame snorted in amusement and acknowledgement of what was true. "…And if you even think of kissing me right now, I will tear your eyes out; understood?"
"…Completely," Kisame replied flatly, wondering for the thousandth time how Itachi always seemed to know what he was thinking. He'd been contemplating kissing him; whether as a joke or seriously, he didn't quite know.
He'd been utterly shocked when Itachi had clambered on top of him and practically shoved his tongue down his throat. And god did Itachi have a fantastic tongue on him. Not to mention a handy lack of gag reflex…Kisame smirked to himself at the memory of the Itachi Uchiha; on his knees with his lips wrapped around a cock. It had been quite a nice view, really.
And Itachi had enjoyed it. That was something. Maybe he could be convinced to give it another shot…
"Kisame," Itachi growled warningly from the bathroom as he started the shower, "If you are having any inappropriate thoughts about me; do desist."
"It's really enjoyable though!" Kisame laughed, to hear an aggravated noise from his friend.
"So Kisame actually fucked Itachi…" Suigetsu remarked in amusement, having heard Itachi's aghast outrage from upstairs, "Well…fuck." Kiba just moaned, holding his head in agony as the front door promptly fell off its hinges as someone tried to sneak out. Temari looked over at boys lying on the couches and gave them a haughty look before stalking off out the door.
"I'll call you," Shikamaru called out lazily with a small smirk.
"Dude, Temari is banging," Kiba muttered, "...Oh god, that's right; her brother like beat the crap out of Neji for pashing his little brother..."
"Neji made out with a dude?" Suigetsu exclaimed incredulously.
"Videos are probably on Facebook..." Kiba informed him.
" –Yo, Hidan!" Suigetsu suddenly remarked with a small wave as another of their housemates entered through the ruined door and began picking his way through the trash towards the kitchen, "Where the fuck you been?"
"None of your fucking business," Hidan snapped back, turning to face his friends. Eyebrows shot up at his appearance.
Hidan's usually slick hair was at odd angles; thoroughly ruffled; his clothes were a mess…and to be perfectly honest, he looked like shit.
"…Who's the blonde you went home with?" Kiba teased, and Hidan immediately looked guilty, "Yes, I saw you heading off with her; who was she?"
"None of your fucking business," Hidan repeated snappily, running a hand through his hair to smooth it back against his head.
"Hidan had sex! Hidan had sex!" Kiba chanted childishly. A vein in the elder man's forehead twitched with irritation.
"Shut the fuck up," he snapped.
"What? You wake up and she was ugly?" Suigetsu inquired curiously.
"Something like that," Hidan muttered aggressively, heading on through to the kitchen.
" –Also, Itachi got really drunk and had sex with Kisame!"
When Hidan and Deidara had arrived at the blonde's room, Hidan roughly shoved him to the bed, clambering on top of him and ravishing his mouth harshly as Deidara struggled to free himself from his soaked clothes. The blonde had quivered and whimpered and moaned when Hidan had begun sucking at his neck and roughly brushing his thumbs across his sensitive nipples.
Somehow –Hidan was still a bit fuzzy on the details –Deidara had found some lube and told him to…told him to put his fingers…up…and then the next thing he knew, he was pushing his cock against something tighter than a virgin's vagina and Deidara was kissing him again.
Hidan had woken to discover that Deidara was lying next to him; completely naked; an impressive hickey or two on the side of his throat, and his expression one of exhaustion. Memories had flooded back to Hidan in a horrifying rush.
Deidara gripped Hidan's neck tightly; hooking his legs up over the bigger man's shoulders as he felt the head of his cock beginning to push against his entrance. He could feel his muscles twitching in anticipation; greedily taking up his cock as he slowly thrust in. Hidan's eyes were drunkenly glazed and they fell to half-mast as he gave a few experimental thrusts. Deidara let out a low moan, feeling his thick cock rubbing so deliciously against his inner walls.
"Faster…" he breathed out, now far too aroused to deal with teasing. He wanted hot, hard fucking, and he wanted it now. He grabbed Hidan's face and dragged him down to whisper in his ear, "…Fuck me hard, Hidan…Make me scream…"
"…You'll be fucking screaming all right…" Hidan growled back at him, suddenly pulling out and then slamming back in with so much force that Deidara almost did scream. It was all he could do to just grip Hidan's neck as he suddenly found himself being relentlessly pounded into. It didn't take long for the bigger man's drunken thrusts to find his prostate, and when he did, Deidara couldn't contain himself.
Hidan was gripping the headboard of the bed tightly; Deidara bent almost double beneath him and crying out in pleasure as he slammed his hips up into him. All he could think of as he drove into the blonde was how fucking good it felt every time Deidara's walls clenched tightly around his cock. He gave a low moan and gave several sharp thrusts; the bed slamming against the wall roughly and Deidara giving an erotic gasp. He was just able to give the blonde a hard, sloppy kiss before gripping his ass tightly and lifting him slightly for better leverage and completely losing all sense of rhythm as he felt his orgasm rapidly approaching.
Sweat rolled down his forehead as Deidara clawed at his back; eyes clenching shut tightly and garbled moans emitting from his mouth. All of a sudden, Hidan felt the hotness of Deidara's inner walls clench even tighter than before as the blonde orgasmed; his whole body arching and a wild cry escaping his lips as he released across his chest. Hidan slammed into his wildly contracting entrance several more times before cumming hard deep inside him.
With a low groan, he pulled out, noticing the slightly erotic way that a thin trickle of his release trailed from Deidara's thoroughly abused ass as tanned legs slowly drooped from Hidan's shoulders to rest limply on the bed. Rolling to one side, Hidan let out a low breath.
"…Best sex ever…" he muttered; dazed and thoroughly intoxicated.
"Best sex ever," Deidara agreed in an exhausted, sated tone, crawling up to press an intimate kiss to Hidan's lips. Hidan made an aroused moan in his throat as he kissed the blonde back; slowly this time, until they both finally fell asleep.
Best sex ever.
Those were the words ringing in Hidan's mind as he joined his friends while nursing his pounding headache. Fucking hell. He had fucked, fucking Deidara; that annoying gay brat. Fuck. No. No. No. He was not gay. Fucking another guy didn't make you gay, right? Even kinda liking it didn't make you gay; he was just drunk…just very, very drunk…
Naruto gave a sleepy groan, feeling sunlight on his face. He opened one eye and then the other; only to discover that the light was really not going well with the splitting headache he had just discovered.
And then he discovered something else.
He was shirtless, wearing a miniskirt, and lying on top of Sasuke Uchiha; straddling him!
"OH MY GOD!" he yelped, suddenly startling Sasuke out of his sleep and causing him to sit up very hurriedly. Their foreheads collided with a loud smack and they both went tumbling off the bed to land on the ground; Sasuke pressed up against the wall with Naruto perched in his lap; hands against his crotch.
Their lips were also mashed together.
"Get off me!" Sasuke exclaimed, shoving Naruto sideways and ending up tangled with him in the small space. "Quit touching me –what…" They both paused; their legs entwined and bare chests touching once more.
"Not so loud, Sasuke…" Naruto whispered with a wince.
"You're a fine one to talk about volume…" Sasuke snapped, blinking in irritation and slowly trying to disentangle himself. "…What…What happened…Why are you dressed like that?"
"I…I have no idea…" Naruto replied as they finally managed to stand a good two metres away from each other; each clutching a pounding head and feeling less than savoury.
"Would you mind explaining to me why you were on top of me?" Sasuke inquired flatly, folding his arms across his naked chest.
"How am I supposed to know?" Naruto grumbled, "I drank way too much last night. I feel awful –"
"…Naruto…do you have a hickey?" Sasuke asked; a dark feeling of horror slowly rising in his gut. Naruto instantly spun to the nearest mirror to examine the rather impressive bruise on his neck; his eyes widening.
"You don't think…" He remarked flatly.
" –It seems that way…" Sasuke muttered, averting his eyes. There was a long moment of silence.
"We were so drunk," Naruto immediately blurted out.
"Very drunk," Sasuke agreed.
"We never would've done anything sober –"
"Never."
"This doesn't count –"
"Doesn't count at all."
"…This never happened and we are never speaking of it again," Naruto added quickly.
"Agreed," Sasuke nodded. They looked at each other for a long moment and then both sighed heavily. "No one has to know. Things will be normal."
"Exactly," Naruto grinned, in his normal way. "I didn't kiss you; you didn't give me a hickey…" He trailed off and they remained in a slightly awkward silence for a long moment. Naruto suddenly became very aware of his own state of undress as well as the fact that Sasuke was shirtless and –oh my god, did he always have abs like that?
Shut up, brain! What the hell do you think you're doing thinking about Sasuke's abs?
"See, we're normal, right?" he chortled, walking over and slinging an arm around Sasuke's shoulders to indicate just how very normal their friendship was. Unfortunately, Naruto's foot slipped slightly, and he actually ended up tripping and dragging Sasuke back down to the floor with a yelp and an ungainly tangle of bodies.
Naruto felt something brushing against the edge of his mouth, and as he opened his bright eyes in horror, he saw black eyes peering back at him in irritation. It was then that he noticed that Sasuke's lower half was pressed snugly (and all-too comfortably) between his legs, and that the thing against the edge of his mouth was Sasuke's tongue.
After a brief second of absolute shock, they sprang away as though stung; only to eye each other awkwardly. Naruto tried to not think about how actually kind of pleasant it had felt to have Sasuke between his legs –it was something so unusual for him; but it just felt…very, very different; and not in a bad way. That, and he could still feel the hot touch of a tongue against his lips.
"…Are you hard?" Sasuke inquired flatly, and Naruto tugged on his miniskirt in embarrassment.
"What? You never had a bit of morning wood before?" he snapped crossly, "I'm going to fucking find Kiba!"
"Slowly, idiot," the raven warned, wrenching the door open and discovering that there was actually someone sleeping in the doorway. "…I'm not taking any chance of accidentally…" He shuddered slightly, " –Kissing you again…" He peered out into the corridor and saw the entire place in disarray. There was a giant cactus lying against a closet, and a great number of traffic cones… Sasuke sighed heavily. Itachi was going to murder them –especially when he saw that there were smears of paint (and possibly blood, and possibly other fluids) all over the walls.
"…Oh god…I need water…" Sasuke muttered, beginning to pick his way through the mess without stepping on anything sharp, gross or wet. He noticed Kisame casually heading up the corridor and flagged him down with a wave. "Kisame; what the hell happened last night? Is Itachi going to kill us all?"
"Itachi's been a little preoccupied to deal with the state of the house…" Kisame chuckled with a shrug.
"Preoccupied?" Naruto inquired, emerging as well and mimicking Sasuke's tentative toeing through the minefield of stuff. "With what?"
"Oh, just with the fact that me and him had sex last night," the blue man shrugged.
"Man; Itachi got laid? About fucking time," Naruto burst out laughing.
"...Me and him had sex...with each other," Kisame elaborated, and Naruto's laughter slowly faded as he realised that he wasn't laughing along -though he did look a little smug.
"…You're kidding, right?"
"Nope," Kisame replied simply.
"…You had sex with my brother?" Sasuke exclaimed hotly, "Why the hell would you take advantage of him; he was fucking destroyed!"
"…He was the one who wanted it," Kisame informed him flatly, "There were many not-idle threats made to certain parts of my body if I didn't comply; he had scissors and everything –it's a whole thing; long story. He's…recovering…upstairs at the moment." Sasuke and Naruto just stared at him as he headed off towards the kitchen.
" –He still wants the house cleaned," he called back to them, "We'll get started with that this afternoon. Suigetsu, Kiba and Shikamaru are up; and I think Hidan just got home. Oh and Sasuke…" There was a thoughtful pause,
"…If you think you and Naruto's antics went unnoticed…you should probably check Youtube…"
Two pairs of eyes widened in disbelief.
"…And maybe Facebook…"
Kisame, you sly DOG! Feeling a bit pleased with your conquest are you? Poor Itachi. Naruto and Sasuke think that things are going to be normal; oh they are wrong. Where's Neji? What's Deidara going to think of the situation? Time for the sober to deal with the actions of the drunk!
xx K