Kurt groaned angrily at the sound of his phone ringing. I have work in the morning so if this is Blaine I swear I'm gonna break something. He rolled over and squinted at the bright screen to see that it was Tina. Tina? What the hell? He figured it had to be something worth answering the phone, so he did.
"Tina? It's almost one in the morning. What's wrong?" His voice was annoyed and raspy from sleep.
"What happened between you and Blaine? He said you guys fought?" Her voice sounded raw from tears.
"Oh, god, is this about him? Did he put you up to this? Because I'm done with him, I don't need someone to tell me to take him back. Goodnight, Tina." He was just about to end the call when he heard her franticly begging him not to.
"No, no! Kurt don't hang up please, that's not why I'm calling you, you need to come to the hospital down the road right now. Blaine's really hurt. He's really hurt. I'm not joking at all." A sob echoed through the phone and Kurt couldn't keep his heart from dropping into his stomach.
"…How hurt?" His voice was small. There was a moment of silence with no response, only the sound of crying on the other line. "Tina…how hurt is he?" This has to be a joke.
"…He tried to kill himself, Kurt." Kurt's blood froze and the room began spinning. "He cut his arm way too deep. H-he lost a lot of blood and he was unconscious when the paramedics took him away. He might not make it…I'm sorry." Her sobbing was uncontrollable at this point. Kurt was still in shock and sat at the end of the bed, gripping the sheets so hard that his knuckles were white.
He wanted to scream, but he had no voice. He wanted to cry, but no tears came. He could only stiffly stand up and grab his keys as he left Rachel's apartment. "I'm coming, Tina," was all he could say.
As he walked out, he woke Rachel up accidently. Dammit. "Kurt? Where are you going?" Suddenly she noticed his face was pale and had no expression. "What happened…?"
He didn't turn to face her, but he paused while opening the door to leave. "Blaine tried to kill himself after I left." His voice was only a whisper, empty and deprived of emotion.
She was silent at first. What is it about silence that is so much worse than words? "Oh my god, Kurt. I'm coming with you. I-I'm so sorry." The urgency was clear in her voice and movements as she rushed out the door with Kurt.
The car ride was quiet except for the loud sobs coming from Rachel. Guilt panged in Kurt's chest painfully, but his eyes remained dry, somehow. A terrified and nervous energy hung in the air constantly.
When they arrived at the hospital, Tina collapsed onto Rachel and Kurt simply walked up to the desk. "Where's my…where's my husband, Blaine Anderson? Where can I see him? I need to talk to him…to apologize…" His voice was flat and his mind was still slow from shock.
"Sir, I don't think you understand the seriousness of your husband's condition at the moment. His heart stopped twice, I'm sorry, but you aren't allowed to see him I'm afraid." Her voice was somber but she remained professional. As soon as Kurt heard her, reality punched him in the stomach.
His heart stopped twice.
His tears finally came all at once. He collapsed into Rachel's arms and sobbed violently. His whole body shook and his brain was running a million miles per hour. His heart felt like someone scooped it out and took a chainsaw to it. This is all my fault, he thought, I was way too hard on him. If he dies, it's all…my fault. At first, he didn't remember what he said earlier that night and then suddenly his own words echoed in his mind.
"It's not my fault you had to be a worthless slut in the first place!"
He sobbed more violently and then looked Rachel straight in the face. "I did this to him, I…I made him feel w-worthless…he'll never forgive me if he lives and I'll never forgive myself if he doesn't. He's not worthless at all, he's everything to me…why am I such an idiot, oh my god." Kurt choked on sobs and fought desperately for oxygen as his lungs threatened to collapse.