~more than a Shield-Sister~

It was after Kodlak's funeral that we fought in a way we hadn't before. She'd become a dear friend to me while she stayed with us. I said some things to her I almost instantly regretted when I saw the hurt look in her face. I pushed her away because I needed to mourn properly. And I couldn't handle my feelings that were growing for her in those moments of grief. It was just the way I had been. I was someone who coped with things on his own. That night I didn't even talk to Farkas. I knew he actually would've needed me. But I just stood in Kodlaks study for hours, staring at the chair he sat on not days ago.

We had lost our father. All of us. It was hard on all of us. I needed to remind myself of that.

The Circle gathered in the Underforge and we discussed the problem of Kodlak's spirit not being released from the curse before he'd died. I'd almost given up hope for his last wish when Eorlund entered the tomb, a repaired Wuuthrad strapped to his back. And I couldn't believe my ears at first, as he told us about a way to help Kodlak one last time.

I knew what she'd say before she even opened her mouth. She looked at me with a firm expression. "I'll do it."

That's when I realized that I wouldn't let her go alone. Not that I didn't trust her to complete the task, she was more than capable of doing so. I just couldn't bear the thought of being without her. I imagined the battles she'd fight alone, getting hurt or worse. I worried about her. And I'd worry for the rest of my life.

"I'm coming with you."

A fleeting smile crossed her face. But she was tired, like the rest of us. I walked over to her and took her hand in mine. Aela who was standing next to us put one hand on her shoulder.

"Me too."

We looked at Farkas who was nodding in agreement.

Faleen accepted Wuuthrad from Eorlund. He wished us good luck and we set off.

Yet while we travelled to Ysgramor's Tomb I remembered the dead bodies lying around me in Driftshade Refuge. I had killed those Silver Hand members without a second thought. I did it out of revenge and it had felt good at first. But now, it was like their souls were hindering me of entering the sacred tomb without hate and regret. Regret for doing something Kodlak wouldn't have approved of.

I told her and she simply understood.

"We'll be back in a few hours."

As she passed me, my hand reached out on its own and grabbed her arm. "Please, be careful."

She rested her hand over mine. "I will."

Then they were gone and I stayed behind, pondering over what creatures she'd face. I was worried sick and only knowing that Farkas and Aela were with her eased the feeling.

When my brother came back alone, I was expecting the worst. I nearly shouted at him to explain where the others were. He was blushing, refusing to look at me.

"Just spiders."

I snorted and patted him on the shoulder. "You know, Faleen hates them almost as much as you do."

He viewed the floor as if it was the most interesting thing in all of Skyrim.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity she came back. Looking weary but healthy and, most importantly, not wounded. The stress I'd been under vanished and I felt the fatigue from the last days return in a big wave.

She'd told us about the ritual and how Kodlak named her the new Harbinger. But it wasn't big news, she'd been like a leader since the old man had left us. As soon as Farkas left to meet up with Aela in the burial chamber, my sight began to blur and I fell down on my knees.

She rushed over, knelt down and hugged me tightly.

"It's alright. I'm here."

I buried my face in her shoulder. Taking in her unique sent of earth, sweat and pines. Slowly I steadied my breathing until I was able to meet her eyes.

She leaned her forehead against mine. I whispered:

"I'm so relieved, Kodlak finally was cleansed of the curse. And I…I hope one day, I will be too."

"You will be. And I won't rest until you are. Just say the word and we'll begin with the ritual."

Her hands caressed my cheeks. She stroked my hair, slowly humming a song I somehow remembered from somewhere.

I don't know for how long we sat there, enjoying the moment of peace.

Later that evening, while Farkas and Aela went hunting, Faleen and me set up camp outside the tomb. The night was clear, the northern lights hanging above us like a curtain of rainbows.

"Faleen."

She looked up from arranging deadwood for a fire. "Yes?"

I sat down beside her.

"I like you more than a Shield-Sister."

Her eyes widened, I caught her off guard with this sort of talk. She held her breath, waiting for my next words.

"But, I'd like to wait until I'm not a beast anymore."

"Wait with what?"

She chewed her lip, looking at me innocently. She didn't realize she was driving me crazy.

Before I knew it, I was on her. Pinning her to the ground. Her lips tasted even better than I'd imagined. The kiss worked like a drug on me and I began to lose myself to the animal in me. I sucked on her lower lip and her breath hitched.

"Wait with this." I murmured.

I sank my teeth into her neck. Sucking on the sensitive skin until I drew blood.

"And this."

A painful moan escaped her.

I let go of her immediately, trying to put some distance between us in the process.

"I'm so sorry."

She touched the wounded spot and the familiar glow of a healing spell emanated from her palm.

"It's okay."

She smiled at me. But then her face grew serious as she said: "You're afraid, you'll hurt me. Aren't you?"

I nodded.

"Thank you. For worrying about me, Vilkas. I hope, I won't hurt you either."

That thought hadn't even crossed my mind yet.

Carefully she closed the space between us again, giving me a peck on my cheek.

"We'll wait."

AN: Dear Reader, thanks so much for reading :) I'm sorry if these chapters seem a little strange, nothing's really happening yet. But it's been a while since I last wrote a story and I just want to savour the feeling of doing that. I already have certain scenes in my mind for this fanfic, I just don't know yet how I'll get there. I believe this story is writing itself and I'm totaly fine with it. For now. If it ever gets a story. Maybe, in the end, I end up writing One Shots (smut One Shots, mind you) and that'll be okay too. ^^