Author's note:

Thank you for giving my fic a try, sorry for any mishaps or bad writing on my part this is my first fic so I can't guarantee anything, I just hope you enjoy reading it at least a little bit.

Also, I'm planning to change things up quite a lot from canon, so I'll hopefully make it believable and enjoyable, on that note I hope you enjoy reading this chapter :3.

Bakugou stands shakily before an apartment door, crushed by guilt, 'It's my fault her son is dead, she should hate me.'

'I still have to give his locket back though not to mention I have to tell her what I did, why it's my fault.'

And so he knocks, after a few minutes of silence Inko comes out, dried tear marks obviously visible on her face, her eyes puffy and red.

'Of course they are you idiot, her son is fucking dead.'

And it's your fault.

Your fault

Your fault

Y̶͍̝̾̆̉͋̀̂̽̚ Õ̷̝͍̯̭̲̘͍̝͒̀͋̚͝ U̴͍͓͂͗̆̆͛̾ R̴͇̹̣̜̃̈́̿͊̽̑͐̈͘ ̷̘̀͋́̕ F̴̲̺̤̠̩͔̱̺͕̐́͑̚ A̵͙͈̜̭̲̻̺̬̾ U̷̹͔̰̮̘̠̓̀͒ͅ L̷̩͍̙͛͐ T̷̺͈̥͔̒̃͊͐̇̊̕

"Bakugou?"

Her sharp voice cuts through the self-loathing static in Bakugou's head but doesn't stop it, nothing ever will.

"Are you okay?"

"Auntie...I-" the tears threaten to spill 'Damnit! I can't even say it without crying'

"I'm sorry."

"Bakugou..." she says with a pained sigh "I-It is not your fault."

With the number of tears that sends down his face, you'd be surprised Bakugou doesn't have a water-based quirk.

"I-It is my fault...I-I-" it's tough for Bakugou to talk through all the tears but he has no choice, he isn't here for forgiveness (he's not going to get it after what he's done) he's here to confess his sins to Inko.

"I told him to jump"

"I didn't actually mean it but I still said it..."

"Izuku is d͚̗̱̻̯̭̱̰̟̥̖̺̳̻̪̠͓̈͋ͥ̽ͭ͊̏̊̀͜͟͞ḛ̛̝͎̥̣͙̙̤̭̪̳̄ͬͮ̍̆ͅa͖͉̟͙̮̞̩̟̫̻̖̿͋ͬͣ̾ͮͥ̓̾̃̓͢͠d̵̨ͨͥ̄̆́͏̼̬̘̞̜͈̤̩͠."

"And it's all my fault

"I shattered his dreams, I clipped his wings, I sent him off the edge and it's all on me."

Me? A hero? That's just fucking hilarious, what kind of sick hero am I if I sent my childhood friend off a f̴͔͕͖̞͇ú̷͏͔̣̹̩̥̠ͅͅć̷҉̰̺͚͈k̵̵̫͇̫͉̺̬í͍̞̩͟ͅn̛̰̙͔̮g̯̻̪̖͝ ͏̦̺͎̯͉͎͙͈r͔͢o̶̫̝͚̱͇̰̪o̧̼̫͙̺f̟̘̭̗,

hell, I don't deserve to become a hero after all I've done to Izu-"

Bakugou's self-loathing rant is cut short with a reverberating slap.

"Bakugou...Please, stop it...Y-You did the wrong thing, but it's not all on you...Izuku's suicide is just as much your fault as it is mine...I lived under the same roof as him, but I still failed to see how badly my baby was suffering" (Needless to say at this point Inko was crying once more.)

"I just...I can't believe he's really gone...My baby...H-He was smiling as he left for school today, h-he was still with us just this morning, and now...He's gone...and...and..."

"I'll never see him again"

"Not to m-mention the w-worst thing...I can't even give my son a proper burial...H-How could his body even just disappear like that?"

"The police have no idea, Auntie, b-but...I-I-" 'Come on! Just fucking say it you coward, you're the reason he jumped in the first place, so just fucking say it!' "I saw him, he was broken and twisted, I-I'm sure he was dead on impact..."

"No one knows what happened to his body, b-but I'm the one who found him, and I-I doubt he was alive."

That's when Inko wipes away her tears and pulls him into a hug "Thank you Katsuki, for telling me all this, y-you must be traumatised by it." (try as she might she can't keep all of the shakiness out of her voice).

"It's the least I could do auntie, you're free to call me or come over to our house whenever you need to talk about I-Izuku and this whole fucked up situation." 'I can't even say his name without remembering that fucking image...'

School, The next day, Bakugou's POV continued

'What even is the point of this shitty memorial service...It's not like anyone in this god damn school even cared about Izuku, this shit pisses me off.'

The teacher can be heard making some very generic statements about Izuku, the only reason they're this generic is that no-one really bothered to get to know Izuku, not even the person he considered his friend despite all that he has done to him.

The person in question is getting progressively more furious as the memorial service continues, halfway through his teacher's speech he just can't hold it in anymore, he sets off a loud but harmless explosion in his hand to stop his teacher from continuing and gather everyone's attention.

"Shut up, shut up, shut up, just SHUT up! "

"you keep talking about him like you know him or something!"

"But none of us knows anything about Izuku, that goes for me too, not one of us has the right to talk about him like we knew him!"

"We had no idea he was going through hell like this, and it cost us cause he isn't fucking here anymore and we didn't do jack shit to stop him, hell I'd say we helped send him off the fucking edge!"

Everyone in the room avoids Bakugou's glare as he scans the room (with tears pricking at his eyes) for someone willing to challenge his rant when no-one steps up to his wordless challenge he makes for the door.

"Where are you going, Bakugou?" asks a teacher.

"Outside, I'm done with this pointless shit, you can all keep pretending to care, you'll all forget about him in the span of a few days anyway." he replies with venom in his words as he pulls the door open, 'Just being in there makes me sick to my stomach.' he thinks as he slams the door, with a small but loud explosion (likely due to his rampant emotions and lack of focus) punctuating his exit perfectly.

He ventures up the same stairs Izuku took just a day prior, for some fresh air, once he makes it to the roof he's surprised to find Izuku's bag.

'Great, this school cares so little about him that they didn't even check if he left anything on the roof he jumped from...'

Curious, he opens the bag, inside he finds a couple of notebooks, he decides to look through them meticulously, hoping to maybe find some more out about Izuku.

The moment he sets eyes on the front cover of the first notebook he feels physically sick with guilt, the words "Hero analysis for the future" taunt him, blame him, make him remember Izuku, his broken, bloodied, twisted, disfigured shape, the blood pooling under him, the shock, the pain, the disgust, the utter HORROR he felt, and the panic, he felt like he was running through quicksand, and he wasn't going to make it, he didn't make it, Izuku was gone, no traces, not even a body, gone, GONE, G O N E.

His panic attack is cut short by the school bell which signifies the end of the school day, granted the school day was cut short because of what had happened yesterday, partially to allow the police to make one last sweep of the scene in search of any evidence they hadn't already identified but also to allow people to grieve that being said, no one in school actually knew Izuku beyond him being their quirkless classmate who they bullied.

'He kept writing hero notes even after all that? Guess that nerd wouldn't have given up so easily, he deserved to be a hero more than I ever will' he flips through the hero note pages quickly, not too interested in the information they hold right now, but he stops abruptly about halfway through the notebook.

'Oh, fuck me...' what stopped him, so abruptly, in his tracks was a 2- page spread, on the left a fully fleshed-out, well thought-out, hero costume, which must have taken Izuku hours, if not days, to come up with, and on the right, a blood-curdling reflection of Izuku's suffering.

Messages of "I'm not good enough.", "I'm a monster.", "How could I ever save anyone?", "I'm worthless.", "They're all right.", "I deserve what I'm getting.", "It's all my fault." and other more alarming phrases are scribbled down in scruffy handwriting, sometimes forming spirals that lead into nothing, sometimes overlapping...

Bakugou can imagine a crying, tormented Izuku furiously writing all these thoughts out as he cries silently so that Inko doesn't notice it, the Izuku Bakugou sees in his mind's eye is clearly in agony as he scribbles all this down, trying desperately to not let his voice carry his whimpers outside his own room.

After taking several minutes to calm down after the terrible image, he flips further through the book. It's empty. Up to the last page..."T-This is his-" he chokes on his words "-s-suicide note."

To whoever finds this, could you please make sure it finds it's way to my mom, Inko Midoriya, thank you.

I'm sorry for doing this to you, but everything just hurt so much more than I could handle, I can't carry on anymore, it's just too much.I'm sorry for not telling you about how hurt I was but I didn't want to burden you with me or have you suffer for me.I'm sorry for never becoming anything, I've always just been the quirkless, weird, quiet kid in class, painfully average to avoid standing out. I've never had any dream but being a hero, an undead dream that lingered for so much longer than it should've, if I gave it up, maybe I wouldn't be doing this to you. Please remember, none of this is your fault. It's not your fault that you didn't know, but mine. It isn't your fault that I did this, it was my choice. I just wasn't made with this kind of society in mind, a quirkless idiot who so desperately wished to be a hero.

I love you, Mom, please don't be sad and carry on without me.

-Izuku

(Also, please show Kacchan his letter, it's on the back, thank you, Mom.)

Hey Kacchan, this note will probably be pointless, but that doesn't matter, I still think writing it is the right choice.

I don't blame you, so you don't blame yourself either, this isn't on you or anyone else, it's on me, it's my fault I was so weak, my fault I couldn't save anyone, including myself.

Thank you for being my only friend for most of my life, even if you weren't the greatest friend in our childhood years, you were so much better than nothing. My only regret is never having taken a single step towards becoming a hero in my life, I never did anything to help anyone, I don't think I was very fit to be a hero even if I did have a powerful quirk.

Goodbye Kacchan, and good luck in U.A.

-Deku

'You stupid nerd, course you were fit to be a hero.'

'But with you gone, I guess I'll have to do.'

'I'll become the greatest hero.'