So I mentioned earlier to some of you that the last chapter was fairly accurate to Christmas day, so I thought in the spirit of what was fair and honest I'd better add this.

Sherlock awoke to the sound of someone moving about his bedroom, soft bare feet on the wooden floor boards. Feeling the warm comforting weight of John beside him, snoring gently, he propped himself up on an elbow and looked towards the sound.

Framed in moonlight of the open window stood Lucy, her naked white skin shone with a blue luminance she stared out across the garden, and as her blonde hair fell down her shoulders and back, it shimmered and move in the light winter breeze.

"Lu?" Sherlock asked quietly sitting further up in bed.

She turned her moonshaped to face him, her large blue eyes resting on him and for a moment she gave him a sad sort of smile. "Go to sleep Sherlock" she told him, her normal crisp voice gaining an etheral quality.

Sleep and alcohol pricked at Sherlock's eyes, but he didn't take his wife's advise, and instead untangled himself from the bed, and slipping on a dressing gown walked to her side.

"You're freezing" he told her, grabbing her hand, "shut the window, and come back to bed."

"No, I'm thinking" she shook of his hand "Leave me be"

"What's wrong Lu?"

"You're the genius" she told him, and he stepped away

He looked over her body, so familiar to him, looking for any differences or changes, she'd put on a few pounds in weight over the summer, but nothing unhealthy in fact John seemed to prefer her new slightly rounded appearance. His mind briefly rested on pregnancy, but dismissed it with plenty of signs to the contrary, he thought back to the day, the smell of alcohol still on her breath despite the heavy smell of mint, and her sudden self-destructive need for cold.

"Katherine?" he asked "your jealous of Katherine?"

Lucy gave him a harsh stare

"Why?" he asked "you're..."

"What?" she snapped at him, "I'm what?"

Sherlock faltered, unsure whether to continue, as he opened his mouth she started...

"I'm 5 years her senior? I'm emotionally dead? I'm the f'in Holmes brood mare?"

"Amazing" he finished "You're my best friend, you're the mother of my children, the first person to love me for myself, gods above Lucille you put up with this ridiculous Menage-a-trois" he gestured to the sleeping Doctor, "because you actually revel in this mad little family we've created, why would you want to be Fatcroft's wife?"

"You're Mother hates me" Lucy told him

"She hates John and I as well" he countered placing a thing arm around her waist, "and john's wonderful!"

Finally she giggled and placed her head on his shoulder.

"Were you going to jump?" he asked leaning forward to stare out of the window

"Yes" she answered

"I thought I was the suicidal one" he told her closing the window, "I don't think the fall would kill you?"

"No that's what I thought, the cold and snow might though"

"No your to strong for that it would take more hours than you'd have lying injured in the snow to kill you" he steered her to the side of the bed, and placed a blanket round her shoulders. "Have you thought about suicide before?"

"Yes"

"Recently? A Lot?"

"Yes" she started sobbing

"Lu it's Boxing Day, you have 2 men who love you, you have 2 beautiful boys, a good career, what's wrong?"

"I don't think it's something that's wrong, I just feel...empty." she shrugged "I just want to be gone"

"Is there anything I can do, is there anything we can do?"

But Lucy just shook her head, and sobbed again. "I won't do anything tonight...I'm not feeling so...sad".

"Please Lu, stay with us, please we need you"

"I can't promise anything" she said, but crawled into the bed next to John, "but Sherlock?"

"Yes?"

"I do love you though"

He smiled "I know...go to sleep"

I hope your all OK, I am today.

Love to all

Jason xxx