Okay, I'm on a bit of a roll today, and I have a ton of time on my hands. I'm sorry to say that isn't the norm. I won't be updating this often in future, although I wish I could! Thanks to all who R & R'd. I love those things!
Chapter 3: getting there is half the fun
They agreed to meet at Wilson's the next morning, since it was, as House put it, "neutral territory." And so, at eight on the dot, four people were standing on the sidewalk in front of Wilson's building, waiting on the fifth. And waiting….and waiting.
"I suppose it was too good to be true when he said eight." Foreman said, looking at his watch. It was going on ten.
"Maybe we should call him." Cameron suggested.
"Already did. I got his charming voice message." Wilson replied. He dialed House's number and held his satellite phone out to Cameron.
"I'm off to the middle of nowhere for a week of sunshine, disease, insects, and poison ivy. Leave a message only if it's necessary as I don't expect myself or anyone else to survive. If this is Cuddy, I'm holding you personally responsible for my actions on this trip."
"Beautiful." Cameron said dryly, handing the phone back.
Wilson stared at his car, all loaded up with their belongings. He'd located the book last night and had skimmed the legend of the Jersey Devil briefly. It had been unsettling to think that it could actually be true and that they were heading right into its territory.
At a quarter after 11, House showed up.
"Why are you all standing around, let's get going. We're wasting valuable bonding time."
He tossed his bag in Wilson's trunk. "I call shotgun."
They piled in the car, Cameron in the middle of the backseat as she was the smallest.
Wilson started the car.
Now I've had the time of my life No, I've never felt this way before Yes, I swear, it's the truthAnd I owe it all to you….
A chorus of groans came from the passenger side and the backseat as the song began blaring from the CD player.
"What?!" Wilson asked innocently.
"Change it." House ordered. "What else have you got?"
"Let's see. I have the Curious George soundtrack, a Harry Potter book on CD, American Idol season 2, Michael Bolton, Barry Manilow's greatest hits…."
"Forget it. I'd rather have Dirty Dancing."
"So would I. And remember, my car, my music."
"That's a stupid rule. We should take someone else's car."
"Everything's already packed."
"I'll hitchhike."
"Who would pick you up? You look like a deranged serial killer. If I didn't know you, I sure as hell wouldn't pick you up."
"We'll see." His hand moved for the door handle.
Wilson reached out and hit the door locks and the child safety mechanism. House jiggled the door handle and pulled at the lock but it wouldn't budge.
"There's no escape."
"What if I gnawed my arm off and beat you unconscious with it?"
"That'll take some time at least. Go for it."
House made a face and slumped in his seat.
Wilson savored his victory and pulled out into the street. They were off.
An hour or so later, Cameron pulled some papers out of her jacket pocket. "I brought road trip bingo if anyone wants to play."
"If it'll keep House from messing in my glove box…" Wilson said shooting yet another warning glance at his friend.
"Some interesting stuff in here Jimmy," House said pulling out a flashlight and shining it around the car.
"Put that away!" Wilson said. "We might need that later."
"You keep a gun in here too?!"
"Put it back, we might need that later too."
"Yea, so I can blow my brains out."
He continued his rummaging.
"Condoms!? Jimmy, you stud!"
"HOUSE!"
House replaced the condoms in the glove box and pulled out a pair of sunglasses, which he put on and looked in the mirror on the visor.
"Sharp," he said approvingly. "I had no idea you had such good taste in eyewear….or in prophylactics."
"I'm begging you, play road trip bingo….please."
House sighed, and held out his hand behind him. Cameron placed a sheet in his hand, her fingers brushing against his. She wondered if he felt the same surge of electricity she had felt. She definitely hadn't imagined it. There was a spark there.
She passed out the rest of the sheets and they took turns calling out things they passed and marking them off on their papers.
Foreman won the game. "What's my prize?" he asked with a grin.
Cameron reached into her pocket and handed him a Tootsie Pop. "The prize is sugar." She said happily.
Foreman took it gratefully, unwrapped it, and popped it in his mouth.
"Punch buggy red!" House yelled suddenly as a VW passed them. He reached out and hit Wilson on the shoulder.
"Cut it out!" Wilson said, rubbing his shoulder.
"Play the game." House said simply, a smirk gracing his face.
"No way, some of us act our age."
"C'mon, getting there is half the fun."
"No, let me drive." Wilson said, concentrating on the road.
"Fine then….I spy with my little eye something….black."
Foreman rolled his eyes. "Is it me?" he asked dryly.
"Damn, you're good."
Chase played along.
"My turn. I spy with my little eye something…green."
"The grass?" Wilson guessed.
"I thought you weren't playing."
"I wasn't playing punch buggy. This is more mature."
House snorted. "Is it the economy sized booger hanging out of Wilson's nose?"
Cameron giggled and even Foreman grinned.
"I do not…" Wilson's hand flew up to his nose and he glanced in the rearview mirror.
"Made ya look."
"How old are we?"
"I'm gonna guess the lettuce on Foreman's sandwich." Cameron said changing the subject back to the game.
"Bingo. I don't have a Tootsie Pop for you though." Chase said. "I've got a piece of gum."
"It's House's game. He has to give me a prize." Cameron said brightly.
There was a rummaging sound from the front seat and something small, flat, and square landed in Cameron's lap. One of Wilson's condoms. Cameron picked it up by the corner and held it up, a cross between disgust and amusement on her face.
"Congratulations, enjoy, and use it well."
She slipped it in her pocket, choosing not to let it rattle her and stated in an even voice, "Thank you."
"What should we play next?" Chase asked.
"Punch buggy blue!"
"Ow! House!"
Wilson thought for a bit. "We could sing show tunes or something."
"Only if you shut the CD player off." Chase said.
"Deal."
Wilson took a deep breath and began.
The hills are alive…
"No." House said.
Wilson tried again.
A spoonful of sugar helps the…House made a buzzing noise. "Wrong again."
Wilson tried one last time.
Midnight, not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone.
"Sorry, no." House said hiding the chuckle that was threatening to escape. Chase was snickering behind his hand in the backseat.
"Fine, you sing something."
"Alright." There was a pause.
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
SpongeBob Squarepants
There was a pause. "Well? C'mon people, work with me here."
Cameron shrugged her shoulders and joined in.
Absorbent and yellow and porous is he
SpongeBob Squarepants
Chase grinned. This was his kind of song.
If nautical nonsense be something you wish
SpongeBob Squarepants
Foreman sighed. If he sang, it give away the fact that he liked the cartoon. But, on the other hand, team building meant honesty.
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish
SpongeBob Squarepants
"That wasn't exactly a showtune." Wilson said.
"Who cares." House replied. "Punch buggy silver!"
"Ow, House that was an SUV!"
"It looked like a Beetle from here."
"You need your eyes checked then.
"Anyone know Scooby–Doo or Pinky and the Brain?"
When he didn't get a reply, House thought for a moment.
This is the song that never ends
Yes, it goes on and on my friend
Some people started singing it not knowing what it was
And they'll continue singing it forever just because,
This is the song that never ends….
More groans from the backseat and the driver's seat. House didn't quit though.
Wilson sighed. It was going to be a long week.
Cameron reached calmly into her purse and pulled out a bag of earplugs. She removed two and passed them to the guys.
"You are my hero," Foreman whispered to her as she handed him his.
"I like to be prepared," she replied.
The miles stretched on and on.
Wilson had turned the CD player back on after House had finally become bored with the song that never ends.
Barry Manilow floated out from the speakers and Wilson felt himself mellowing out. Then he felt something brush against his neck. He turned his gaze briefly to the right.
"House!? What the hell?!"
"What?" House had 5 of Wilson's condoms out of their wrappings and had put them over his fingers, which he was now brushing against Wilson's neck. "It's not like you were using them. It was a new package. I think it had dust on it."
"Get those off!"
"I'm Freddy Kruger, out to promote safe sex, one hapless victim at a time."
"OFF!!"
"Yes Dad."
Wilson sighed again. It was going to be a VERY long week. At least he had Team Building Exercises to use as a revenge of sorts. He chuckled evilly to himself and drove on. They were almost there.
A/N: It was the chapter that never ended. ) Sorry it got so long, but I just kept getting ideas. Hope you liked it anyways. R&R pretty please with sugar on top!