Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
When no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head
Stone Sour - Through Glass
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Sam continued to sit dumbfounded by everything that he had discovered. Dean was still asleep.
but Sam was going to have to wake him up soon and give him his medicine to keep the infection
at bay. Sam's mind was completely overloaded he could not believe that something this big
had escaped his notice about his brother. He knew if he asked Dean about what he had found
that Dean would evade all attempts at conversation and he damn sure wouldn't explain it. He
really didn't think Dean would be mad especially since it was purely by accident that he found
it. But to ask Dean now that he was in pain, fevered and pumped full of pain medicine would be
just another traitorous act on top of all the huge number already played out against his brother or
at least that's how Sam saw it. So Sam decided to do the next best thing, he would figure it
out it was good at that. He decided he needed a lot more information before he even attempted
to get Dean to open up about it.
-
Sam quickly pulled up his own school information that he had put on his application to Stanford.
He wrote down all the schools that Dean had attended during the same time frame and then
backtracking through his fathers entries in the journal to place the other states they had been in
while Dean had been in high school. He placed the list and the documents back into the bag
and shoved it all under the bed trying not to think about the last time it had ever been cleaned.
Dean had started shifting in his sleep and mumbling just low enough that Sam couldn't make out
what he was saying, and damn if that hadn't always bugged the shit out of Sam. How were you
supposed to get the good ammunition if you couldn't hear it . Sam reached out and put his hand
on Dean's forehead feeling that the fever hadn't gotten worse.
-
"Dean wake up, you need to eat something and take some more medicine." Sam said as he ran his
fingers through Dean's hair.
-
"Don't want to run drills today." was the mumbled response that Sam received.
-
"No drills baby, just a nice day in bed after you take your medicine." Sam replied smiling as he ran
his fingers over Dean's cheekbone and cupped his face in his hand leaning down and kissing Dean
gently on the lips until Sam knew he had his attention.
-
Sam pulled back and helped Dean sit up in the bed. Getting the medicine while Dean got his bearings.
-
"Here take these and I'll warm up th rest of the soup for you." Sam said handing Dean the antibiotics.
-
"Can't we have some real food?" Dean complained as he swallowed the pills.
-
"Sure I can, but you won't be getting any till tomorrow." Sam replied with an evil little smirk that showed
off his dimples.
-
"That's so not fair, I think I deserve a nice big fat juicy steak or at least a hamburger." As he spoke his
stomach growled apparently agreeing with him.
-
"I tell you what you keep another helping of soup down and the meds and we'll go into town tomorrow."
"You can have whatever you want to eat as long as you'll come back and lay down afterward. You
need to give yourself time to heal." Sam averted his eyes on the last sentence feeling the guilt swamp
him for yet more pain that he had caused his brother.
-
"Only if you'll stop doing the guilty it's all my fault shit." Dean threw back.
-
"How many times do I have to tell you it wasn't your fault. You had no control over the evil bitch riding
around in your body." Dean said getting frustrated at not being able to get it through his brothers thick
skull.
-
"Fine, I get it. I'll stop feeling guilty ( yea right like that was going to happen this millenium) just eat
your soup and then we'll get you settled again. Sam said knowing it was the only way to cut Dean
off before he got even more agitated and managed to start his shoulder bleeding again by trying to
prove something Sam.
-
It worked to some extent. Dean eased back and ate but still gave Sam his grumpy I'm not happy face,
but he let it go for now. When Dean had finished eating he slowly made his way to the bathroom to
take care of his little nightly rituals (okay so Sam wasn't the only OCD one). Sam was smart enough
to know that an offer of help would not be welcome. Dean would only allow help for so long and under
very stringent rules. The first being if he was unconscious followed by damage that couldn't be reached
by oneself and the last was if it was something that would help Sam deal with a given circumstance.
They had been operating under the second and third rule but Sam could tell that Dean was slowly
reinstating his independence over all things Dean and followed closely by all things pertaining to Sam's
welfare. Sam really did love Dean and the way he looked after him but Sam wished he was allowed to
show it the same way by taking care of Dean when he needed it and deserved it. After Dean came out
and returned to bed turning on the tv to watch for a little while, Sam sat down to do research but
not the kind that Dean thought he was doing. Sam had gotten out the list of schools while Dean was
in the bathroom, he sat down and started typing out a generic request form requesting transcripts for
Dean's school records. When he finished and sent in the forms undert he guise of a college asking for
information on an applicant for their doctorate program. He shut the computer down and headed to the
bathroom.
-
When he came back out Dean was nodding off and Sam shut the tv off and slid into bed with him. Dean
turned over and put his arm around Sam's waist snuggling in behind Sam's back. Dean kissed the nape
of Sam's neck and then buried his nose in the same spot. Sam sighed and relaxing into Dean's embrace
and fell asleep in the next breath secure in the knowledge that the one person he couldn't live without
still loved and wanted him.