Hello! Welcome aboard the Titanic. Don't worry, this ship is unsinkable, so even if the Doctor does magnetize some danger to us, we're not going to crash =D
LOL, Yeah Right!
Hey, just thought I'd remind you all that I have a page on Facebook. I post updates, sneak peeks, images and much more. So check it out!
www (dot) facebook (dot) com/pages/Krazy-Ky-sta-Hatter/211442535611697
Enjoy!
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*Voyage of the Damned*
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Titanic
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In an instant, the Doctor was helping Rose to her feet and dashing about the console. He chucked another life ring off it and wound at a leaver. Slowly the TARDIS backed up and the inside merged back together as the hull moved out. Then with the pull of another leaver they dematerialised onto the ship.
Cautiously they both stuck their head out. Stepping out they gave their selves a quick sweep off and headed to where they could hear the sound of laughter and voices.
"What's going on?" Rose asked. "How the hell could we have crashed into the Titanic?"
"I have no idea," he told her. "But we'll have to be careful. I've been on the Titanic before. Wasn't long before I met you, actually." They reached so sort of lobby and he looked about curiously. "Although… I'm not too sure it was this Titanic…"
He slipped his hand into hers as they walked around trying to look casual. They came to a stop in front of a life size white and gold masculine Christmas angel. As they looked at it, it changed position with a mechanical sound. The Doctor looked at it, taken aback. Okay, that's strange. There shouldn't be something like that on the Titanic. At the sound of a strange voice, they turned to see a tiny red man with a spiky head walking about, talking to some women who laughed with him.
Okay… definitely not right… The Doctor moved over to a window and looked out.
"Right…" he said in realisation, drawing the word out. Rose came over to the window and began to giggle.
"Well, that makes more sense," she said when she saw the great expanse of space before them.
'Attention all passengers,' said a voice over the PA. 'The Titanic is now in orbit above Sol 3, also known as Earth. Population: Human.' Rose and the Doctor looked at each other in amusement.
"Well, Rose Tyler, I did promise you a party," the Doctor grinned. Then he grabbed her hand and dragged her back into the TARDIS.
"What are you doing?" she laughed.
"Well, I need to get changed, and you need to get fixed up," he told her, picking a piece of debris from her hair. Rose laughed and kissed him on the cheek before spinning off into the bathroom.
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When they were both done, the Doctor looked all proper in his tux and black converse. And Rose was clean and had her hair piled up on top of her head in a graceful swirl. She really did look stunning in that red dress.
"Oh, no," she said looking him up and down. "Are you sure it's such a good idea to wear the Tux of Doom on the T-"
"Don't you dare even finish that sentence," he scolded her. "Can't have you jinxing it."
"Yes, Sir," she treated him to her tongue in teeth smile. Grinning, he offered her his arm and they made their way back into the lobby.
?...DW…?
After wandering around a little, Rose pointed out something to the Doctor. All around the room were various frames with a video of a man playing. Curiously they went to watch. It started with the Ships logo then revealed a bald man with a golden tooth, in a suave suit.
"Max Capricorn Cruise liners. The fastest, the farthest, the best. And I should know, because my name is Max." He gave a grin that, in Rose's opinion, was quite smarmy, and his gold tooth glinted like a cheesy cartoon. Shaking his head, the Doctor led them away into the main reception hall.
"Merry Christmas, Sir, Ma'am," the Steward said to them.
"Merry Christmas," they replied. And then they stepped into the hall which was in full party mode. A singer on the stage was singing a saucy version of 'Winter Wonderland'.
"Wow, another Christmas already," Rose grinned. "You know, I could have sworn it was Christmas yesterday," she joked. Because for them, it had been Christmas. A year and a day… it had been Christmas the night they were taken up to the Valiant.
They smiled cheekily at each other and started to mingle. It was all they could do not to giggle when a man walked past on some sort of cell phone.
"It's not a holiday for me, not while I've still got my vone," he said cheerfully. Then suddenly his voice dropped and became cold. "Now, do as I say and sell!" Rose and the Doctor raised their eyebrows in amusement as the man stalked off. Then the Doctor spotted another of those Angels that were dotted around the place.
"Time to find out a thing or two," he said leading them over to the angel. "Evening," he said to it. "Passenger 57. Terrible memory. Remind me. Uh, you would be…?"
"Information: Heavenly Host supplying tourist information," the angel said.
"Good, so, um… tell me - because I'm an idiot." Rose snorted at this. "Where are we from?"
"Information: The Titanic is en route from the planet Sto in the Casivanian Belt. The purpose of the cruise is to experience primitive cultures."
"Titanic," Rose muttered. "Who thought of that name?"
"Information: It was chosen as the most famous vessel of the planet Earth."
"Yeah, and did they tell you why it was famous?" she scoffed incredulously.
"Information: All designations are chosen by Mr Max Capricorn, president of Max - Max - Max - Max-" It just kept repeating the same word over and over like a stuck record. Its head jerked back and forth each time and subconsciously Rose and the Doctor followed it with their own heads, doing almost the same movement as they watched in almost in bewilderment.
"Ooh, bit of a glitch," the Doctor said going for his sonic-screwdriver. But he was beat to it by the staff.
"Sir, we can handle this," the Chief Steward smiled nervously as he and two other stewards came and switched it off, taking it away. "Software problem, that's all. Leave it with us. Merry Christmas." As he walked away they could hear him talking to the others in a hushed, worried voice.
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After going around a bit, they were distracted by the sound of breaking glass. They turned to see a waitress looking up with wide eyes at a rather angry man, the same man who had been talking on his vone.
"For Tov's sake, look where you're going!" he shouted at her. "This Jacket's a genuine Earth antique."
"I'm sorry, Sir," the waitress said dejectedly, bending to pick up the glass.
"You'll be sorry when it comes out of your wages, Sweetheart. Staffed by idiots. No wonder Max Capricorn is going down the drain." Both Rose and the Doctor moved at the same time, but to different people.
"Oi, Mate!" Rose said angrily. "That's not any way to treat someone, staff or otherwise. It wasn't her fault and you have no right to talk to her like that. Now apologise to her or bugger off!" The man shot her a glare, before turning on his heal and stalking off. Rose huffed angrily before turning to help the waitress and the Doctor pick up the broken glass.
"Careful. There we go," the Doctor grinned at the woman.
"Thank you, Sir. I can manage," she said politely, her head down.
"I never said you couldn't," he smiled at her. "I'm the Doctor, by the way. And this is Rose."
"Hello," Rose put in.
"I'm Astrid, Sir, Ma'am. Astrid Peth."
"Nice to meet you, Astrid Peth. Merry Christmas." At this, Astrid seemed very surprised, as if no one said things like that to her.
"Merry Christmas, Sir," she said happily.
"Just 'Doctor', not 'Sir'," the Doctor told her.
"And if you start going on at me with that 'Ma'am business…" Rose left the cheeky, empty threat hanging, but grinned broadly to show Astrid she was only teasing.
"You enjoying the cruise?" she asked.
"Yeah, it's great," Rose told her. "It's nice to just relax for a bit. Just the two of us again."
"It is pretty good, isn't it?" the Doctor grinned at her before turning to Astrid. "What about you? Long way from home, planet Sto." The three of them stood as the last of the glass was picked up.
"Doesn't feel that different," she shrugged. "I spent three years working at the spaceport diner, travelled all the way here… and I'm still waiting on tables." Then she walked away.
"Ouch," Rose whispered. "Looks like she jumped on the wrong ship." Curiously, she and the Doctor followed, happy to have someone new to talk to.
"No shore leave?" the Doctor asked Astrid as she cleared a table by the window.
"We're not allowed," she told them. "They can't afford the insurance. I just wanted to see it, just once. I used to watch the ships heading off to the stars and I always dreamt of… it sounds daft."
"You dreamt of another sky," Rose said softly, understanding what she meant. Once she had tasted it once, it wasn't enough to just stay behind. "You wanted to be swept off your feet and see it all. New suns, new air, new life. A whole universe of it. Who'd want to stand still when there's all that wonder out there."
The Doctor smiled at her and wrapped his arm around her waist, pulling her to lean against the windowsill with him.
"S-so you travel a lot?" Astrid asked, seeming to break out of a reverie.
"All the time," the Doctor told her. "Just for fun. Well, that's the plan. Never quite works." He gave a grin.
"Oh, we have plenty of fun," Rose rolled her eyes.
"Must be rich, though," Astrid said.
"Haven't got a penny," the Doctor said happily. Then he leaned in surreptitiously and put on a stage whisper. "We're stowaways."
"Kidding?"
"Seriously," he replied.
"No!" she exclaimed.
"Yep," Rose laughed.
"How did you get on board?"
"Accident," the Doctor told her. "We have this, sort of, ship thing. I was just rebuilding her. Left the defences down, got… somewhat distracted, bumped into the Titanic. Here we are. And I'd promised Rose a party, so I thought 'why not?'."
"I should report you," she said seriously, but they knew by the look on her face she wouldn't.
"Go on then," the Doctor called her bluff.
Astrid looked off to where everyone was partying then turned back. "I'll get you two a drink… on the house," she whispered the last part.
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After she left Rose and the Doctor took to the dance floor. Swinging about and, as usual, quite frankly, showing everyone else up. They danced a couple of songs until they decided to sit down a while. They went and sat at a table where a rather large couple in purple country western costumes sat eating, looking fairly disgruntled. Standing around the table behind them were a bunch of snooty people laughing like they'd just heard the funniest joke in the world.
"Something's got them tickled, doesn't it?" Rose said as she sat down.
"They told us it was fancy dress," the woman said. "Very funny, I'm sure."
"They're just picking on us because we haven't paid," the dark man said. "We won out tickets in a competition," he pointed proudly to the woman.
"I had to name the five husbands of Juthy Crystal in 'By the Light of the Asteroid'. Do you ever watch in 'By the Light of the Asteroid'?"
The Doctor thought for a moment. "Is that the one with the twins?" he asked uncertainly. Rose just sat there blankly. She hadn't seen any TV - other than movies - since she started travelling with the Doctor. Not even Earth ones, let alone ones from other galaxies. And she had gone right off reality TV after Satellite 5 - the Game Station.
"That's it. Oh, it's marvellous!" the woman gushed.
"Probably not good enough for that lot," the man nodded to the laughing crowed. "They think we should be in steerage."
"Hmm, let's put a Faludge in their pants, see how they laugh then," Rose huffed. She hated bullies. She'd had her fair share of them at school. It taught her to be quite staunch, and she eventually learnt to hold her own. A half fluffy and tickly, half slimy and icky slug like creature in their pants seemed like very good payback.
The Doctor laughed at her and reached into his pocket, subtly pulling out the sonic-screwdriver. "We can't have them thinking that, can we?" he said innocently. Then he pressed the button, aiming behind him and slowly pushed the tip up, changing the pressure of the setting. With a sudden 'pop' the cork in the Champagne bottle at the table shot out. And the entire table of snobs were sprayed with the sticky liquid.
The large couple in front of them had watched him use the sonic and stared behind him with open mouths, amusement starting to cross their features.
"Did - did you do that?" the woman asked.
"Maybe," the Doctor shrugged, putting the sonic screwdriver away. Finally the couple began to laugh and the man clapped his hands.
"Oh, we like you," the woman grinned.
"We do," the man agreed. He reached his hand across to shake the Doctor's "I'm Morvin Van Hoff. This is my good woman, Foon."
"Foon!" the Doctor grinned reaching to shake the woman's hand. "Hello, I'm the Doctor and this is my… Well, she'd probably slap me if I called her my woman, so this is my Rose."
"Nice to meet you," Rose laughed shaking the couples hand.
"You too," Foon smiled at them. "Ooh, I'm gonna need a Doctor by the time I'm finished with this buffet. Have buffalo wing. They must be enormous these buffalo, so many wings!"
Rose giggled as she reached for one of the offered wings. Foon was quite adorable. She and the Doctor had only been nibbling on their wings for a moment when an announcement came over the PA.
'Attention please. Shore leave tickets Red 6-7 now activated. Red 6-7.'
Morvin and Foon fumbled about into her pockets a moment before pulling out a red ticket each. "Red 6-7, that's us," Foon said. She and Morvin stood, and then looked back down at Rose and the Doctor. "Are you Red 6-7?"
"Might as well be," the Doctor shrugged pulling out the psychic paper.
"Come on," Morvin said putting an arm around his wife. "We're going to Earth."
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An old man stood, holding a giant version of Morvin and Foon's ticket above his head, calling for Red 6-7's. As they made their way over to him, Rose spotted Astrid coming over.
"I got you those drinks," she said.
"And we got you a treat," Rose ginned in reply. Catching on, the Doctor took the tray from Astrid and put it on a nearby table. Together they lead her to the man with the sign. The Doctor walked up to him and held up the psychic paper.
"Red 6-7 plus two," he told the man.
"Uh, quickly, Sir. And please take three teleport bracelets, if you would," the old man stuttered. Smiling the Doctor took the thick metal cuffs from him. He handed one to each lady and put one on himself.
"I'll get the sack!" Astrid hissed at them.
"Brand new sky…" the Doctor said enticingly. Giving in, she clicked the bracelet around her wrist.
"To repeat," said the old man. "I am Mr Copper, the ship's historian. And I shall be taking you to old London town in the country of UK, ruled over by good King Wenceslas. Now, human beings worship the great god Santa, a creature with fearsome claws, and his wife Mary. And every Christmas Ever the people of UK go to war with the country of Turkey." Many of the people around them were looking anxious. The Doctor was standing there, quite perplexed, with his eyebrow's raised. Rose, however, was in hysterics and was struggling to keep her laughter quiet. This guy was crack up! "They then eat the Turkey people for Christmas dinner… like savages!"
At this point, the only thing that could be heard was a barely stifled laugh. It was quite infectious for those in the know and the Doctor had to stop himself from laughing too. "Excuse me," he said raising a hand slightly. "Sorry, sorry, but um… where did you get all this from?"
"Well, I have a first class degree in Earthonomics," Mr Copper said. "Now, stand by…"
"And me! And me! Red 6-7!" a squeaky, almost mechanical voice shouted out. Soon the small red spiky alien they had seen earlier pushed his way to the front with a ticket.
"Well, take a bracelet, Sir," Mr Copper said, flustered.
"But, um. Hold on, hold on. What was your name?" he asked Spiky.
"Bannakaffalatta," he squeaked.
"Okay, Bannakaffalatta. But it's Christmas Eve down there. Late night shopping - tones of people. He's like a walking conker!" Bannakaffalatta shot him a look. "No offence, but you'll cause a riot because the streets are going to be packed with shoppers and parties-" But he didn't get any more out, because in the next second, they were standing on a street in the middle of London… "Oh," he said as he realised.
But then he and Rose began to look about in concern. The street was completely empty. Deserted. Even most of the shops were closed! It was Christmas Eve for crying out loud!
"Now," Mr Copper said. "Spending money. I have a credit card in Earth currency if you want to buy trinkets or stockings or the local delicacy, which is known as 'beef'. But don't stray too far, it could be dangerous. Any day now they start boxing!"
Everyone else was staring around in wonder as she drifted apart. Bur Rose and the Doctor still looked about in worry.
"Doctor, where is everyone?" she asked.
"It should be full," he said in a low voice. "It should be busy. Something's wrong."
"But it's beautiful!" Astrid exclaimed. Rose smiled and the Doctor stared at her in surprise.
"Really? Do you think so? It's just a street. They pyramids are beautiful. And New Zealand…"
"You still have to take me there," Rose said.
"But it's a different planet!" Astrid cried excitedly. "I'm standing on a different planet. There's concrete… and shops. Alien shops, real alien shops! Look, no stars in the sky," she said pointing up once she finished bouncing about. "And it smells… It stinks!" she cried, absolutely delighted. Next thing they knew, Astrid hand flung herself at the both of them in a hug. "This is amazing! Thank you!"
The couple just grinned at her. "Come on, then, let's have a look," the Doctor said leading them over to the only open place he could see. It was a newsagent's booth. Inside sat an old man, bundled up in his winter clothes. "Hello there! Sorry, uh, obvious question, but where's everybody gone?"
"Oh-ho, scared!" he snorted.
"Of what?" Rose asked in concern.
"Where have you been living?" he asked in bewilderment.
"Well, I guess you could say I've been living in a bit of a box the last few years," she sniggered.
"London, at Christmas. Not safe, is it?" the old man went on.
"Why?" the Doctor asked.
"Well, it's them, up above. Look, Christmas before last we had that big bloody spaceship, everyone standing on the roof."
"Regeneration," Rose muttered under her breath as the man pointed to a small TV showing a clip of the Sycorax ship.
"And then last year, that Christmas Star electrocuting all over the place, draining the Thames!"
"Donna the mad bride," she muttered. But the old man seemed to hear this and looked at her strangely.
"Eh?" he said as if she'd said something that surprised him.
"This place is amazing!" Astrid breathed.
"And this year," the man went on, still giving Rose a bit of an odd look, "Lord knows what. So everybody's scarpered, gone to the country. All, except me… and Her Majesty!" He stood patriotically as a news reporter told how the Queen was staying in London to show that it was safe. "God bless her! We stand vigil!" he saluted.
"Well," said the Doctor. "Between you and me, I think Her Majesty's got it right. Far as I know, this year, nothing to worry about.-" And suddenly they were all standing back on the Titanic. "I was in midsentence!" he cried in annoyance.
"Poor guy," Rose said. That would not have been a nice little shock for him. There he was, going on about how there would be no extra-terrestrial activity this year, and they just disappear in front of him.
"Yes, I'm sorry about that," Mr Copper said nervously. "A bit of a problem. If I could have your bracelets…"
When the Chief Steward came along, Astrid quickly hid behind Rose and the Doctor's backs. "Apologies, ladies and gentlemen, and Bannakaffalatta," he said. "We seem to have suffered a slight power fluctuation. If you'd like to return to the festivities. And on behalf of Max Capricorn Cruise liners, free drinks will be provided."
Everyone slowly wandered off and Rose and the Doctor turned back to Astrid. "That was the best!" she squealed quietly. "The best!" Then she darted off, leaving Rose and the Doctor smiling broadly. Then the Doctor turned to Rose and raised his eyebrows. In the next second they were up by the Chief Steward.
"What sort of power fluctuation?"