As it's pretty obvious by now, I'm going for the humor in this story. It's fun thinking of all the different hellish scenarios that Sweets may find himself in. This chapter I have to thank my niece for as she is always taking me to task for not being able to be there for her birthday party and this year she really gave me what for over the phone. I hope you enjoy this one. Gregg.
Disclaimer: I don't own, or profit from, these characters or franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Now this was the kind of activity that Lance Sweets had no problem dealing with on this nightmare trip from Hell. Daisy was in a rather excited and hyper mood and was taking it out on her Lancelot! Oh yeah! Start out slow, then speed those hips up, Daisy Girl! That's it. Clench and unclench. Forget the foreplay nonsense. It was time to REALLY release some frustration! Oh yeah, almost there. Closer. Closer.
"Dr. Sweets?"
"FUCK!" Sweets cried out as his mood was just killed. Poor Lancelot was instantly deflated and Daisy was looking down on him with a flash of temper, mixed with amusement. That's just great!
"Dr. Sweets?"
"WHAT?" Sweets roared in a seriously sarcastic voice, not bothering to hide his being supremely pissed at coitus-interruptis.
"You have a call on the sat comm," the intern replied, not opening the tent flap, thank God! No one was going to see Daisy in her birthday suit except her prime stud Lancelot!
That figures. No matter what good thing was happening, Booth had this annoying tendency to call him and make him feel like an inch tall. Now the man was graduating to interrupting totally HOT sex with a wild and uninhibited fiancée.
"I'll be right there," he said with a sigh as the Lance in Lancelot slipped out of Daisy rather unceremoniously. "I'll be right back, Daisy," he said with genuine regret at the interruption.
"I'll be waiting, Lancelot" Daisy drawled with a wicked smile on her face and a pointed look at his flaccid member.
Sweets made his way over to the comm tent grudgingly. He was beginning to want to seriously look into beefing up and pounding the living daylights out of Booth, but then he considered Booth's Ranger training and then dropped the idea. Beefed up or not Booth could still kick his ass. He sat down at the comm unit and put on the head phones. Taking a deep breath and a sigh, he pressed the button making the connection. His jaw fell when little Parker Booth showed up on the screen.
"Parker?" he asked, shocked right down to his toenails.
"Hi Dr. Sweets," Parker said with a smirk. "My Dad says your a screw up and making a mess of things."
"Wh-...what?" Sweets managed to squeak out. What the Hell was going on? Booth was now sicking his kid on him?
"Dr. Bones is still in a wheelchair three months after the stupid accident," Parker explained. "My Dad said it was stupid, not me."
"What do you call it?" Sweets asked curiously. In the last three months Booth had contacted him a number of times when the man wasn't out on a mission and gave him Hell for Dr. Brennan's condition. Sweets was now on edge. How was it his fault that the ankle hadn't been set right originally and needed to be rebroke and set properly with another six to eight weeks in the wheel chair. Dr. Brennan's death glare had been bad enough, but Booth's near screaming rant? Not good.
"Ir-...Irresp-..." Parker tried to get the word out, but couldn't pronounce it right.
"Irresponsible?" Sweets asked with a sigh. Yep. Booth was definitely pulling the strings on this one.
"Yeah, that's it," Parker said with a smile. "Dr. Sweets? Is it true that you messed things up between my Dad and Dr. Bones?"
Sweets closed his eyes in frustration. He wished that he could go back in time about three years and change all he had done with respect to Booth and Brennan. If he had it to do over again he would have worked his ass off to get them together from the first moment. Then this nightmare Hell wouldn't be happening. He would be happily in DC with Daisy about to be married and Booth and Brennan would be well into a very successful personal relationship.
"What did your Dad say?" he asked.
"That you said he should be the one to take a chance and tell Dr. Bones what he feels," Parker replied.
"Yeah," Sweets answered, immediately replaying that horrid night over in his head again.
"You know, for a Doctor you sure can be an idiot," Parker shook his head. "Dr. Bones, though, says you're getting better at field work, though."
"Oh?" he asked. "And just when did Dr. Brennan say that?"
"Yesterday," Parker said instantly. "I talk to her three times a week."
Alarms went off in Sweets' head. Parker was the spy! And what was worse was that the poor little guy most likely didn't even know it! He simply told Daddy what "Dr. Bones" had to say. That would definitely include any awkward greeting moments, clumsy falls and broken limbs, and horror or horrors any slick scheisters who claimed to be medical personnel putting theirs hands on her. DAMN! Purgatory, or perhaps even Inferno was beginning to sound awfully similar to what he was dealing with now.
"Well, Parker, adults sometimes try and help people and make mistakes. That's what I did, and it ended up hurting your Father and Dr. Brennan," Sweets explained.
Parker's face got all scrunched up. "You sound like my Dad when he tries to explain something and he doesn't think I'll understand, or he thinks I'm too young," he said to the increasingly uncomfortable psychologist. "I think anyone with brains can see that my Dad and Dr. Bones belong together and Dr. Bones is the one who has to speak up first."
From the mouth of Babes. Not for the first time Sweets was noticing that Parker Booth was a lot more intelligent and observant than people gave him credit for, including his own father, though he knew that Booth adored and loved his son without exception.
"You trying to become a psychologist one day, Parker?" Sweets asked with a chuckle.
"Dr. Bones said that's a soft science and I need to focus on something real," Parker replied, clearly showing who his hero was, outside of Booth, of course.
"Naturally," Sweets smiled. His long running "debate" with Dr. Brennan over the validity of psychology as a science was alive and well, it seemed, and a new participant was now in the mix in the form of one Parker Booth. "Since I seem to be making a mess of things, what do you suggest I do?" he asked Parker, figuring that if he was going to get his butt chewed, he might as well take it in the form of advice from an eight year old.
"Follow Dr. Bones lead," Parker said with confidence, giving away clearly that this list of instructions was coming from Booth himself, "let her win all arguments except if it deals with urges, whatever those are, and don't let men near her."
"Right," Sweets rolled his eyes. If Booth had been saying it it would have been much more pungent with a few threats thrown in for good measure.
"Dr. Sweets?" Parker asked.
"Yeah?" Sweets nodded.
"What's a Tiki Torch Juggler? My dad doesn't seem to like them at all whatever they are," Parker asked.
Sweets almost laughed, but it was a rather serious topic to Booth, and so his son deserved a reasonable answer. "In the pacific islands during beach parties men who are very athletically fit and muscular juggle lit two ended torches for the crowd," he told Parker.
Parker thought about that one for a moment and then he got a glare on his face. "You keep them away from Dr. Bones!" he said bluntly. "My dad doesn't want her interested in men, except for him. I don't like it either!"
Sweets felt like he was in the Twilight Zone. An eight year old kid was giving orders in the place of his Father and poor Lance Sweets was reduced to listening and obeying. The worst part was he was so scared of what Booth would do if he failed in his assigned tasks, he just sat there and took it.
"I understand, Parker," Sweets said when the boy had finished with a glare worthy of his father.
The conversation went back and forth for a few more minutes and ended when Parker let him know that he was in the loop, Sweets' word not Parker's, and that he had ways of contacting him when things were not going as they should.
"Fuck," Sweets said when the connection broke. "Now he has his kid keeping an eye on me!"
He was ruminating on this new development when he almost fell over Dr. Brennan who was being wheeled in her chair towards the main examination tent for any finds to be looked over more thoroughly. He whispered a silent prayer that he hadn't caused any more damage.
"Dr. Brennan!" he said, shocked that she would be out there at 2 in the morning instead of getting some rest.
"Ah, Dr. Sweets, perfect timing," Bones said, a wicked gleam in her eyes. "I was just on my way to spend more time going over the artifacts. I was going to have Ms. Benton here assist me, but seeing as you're already awake, you can come with me. That will be all, Ms. Benton. Dr. Sweets will provide whatever assistance is needed."
Sweets suppressed a groan. He'd been having HOT WILD sex with Daisy one moment and then fifteen minutes later he was now on his way to spend the ENTIRE night, knowing Dr. Brennan's work habits. He was definitely in Hell, and Dante's Inferno sounded nice about now.
"No problem, Dr. Brennan," he said as he got behind her wheelchair and pushed it along, all the while wondering how he would make it up to Daisy.
A/N: I wanted something a bit different and after what happened with my niece, I couldn't resist putting Parker in here somehow. I hope you all enjoyed it. The reviews have been wonderful and I humbly thank everyone for the kind words and encouragement. Gregg.