Impossible Chapter 3

"Raphael Hamato stop this madness at once!" I heard someone yell at me, it sounded so distant yet so close.

Finally after what seemed like hours my eyes snapped open, I had hoped it was one of the purple dragons that I had been punching but I was dead wrong.

I moved my head down to see who I had been punching so furiously with the handle one of my sais and when I saw who it was my eyes widen in fear.

Bellow me was my youngest brother Michelangelo. His face had been brutally beaten by me, I just stared at my blood stained sai and back to Mikey. It was hard to recognize him but I just had to see the orange blood stained bandanna to know it was him.

My body trembled in fear as I force myself to stand up, I had hoped that Mikey would move but he didn't move a muscle.

"How could you do this to your own brother?! He was only joking!" I heard Master Splinter say behind me.

Joking? About what?

I really had no idea.

Before anyone could say anything else I dropped my sai and ran for it, I ignored Leo as he called out for me and I ignored Master Splinter as he yelled out to me as well.

I messed up, BIG time.

I felt the tears grow in my eyes knowing what I had done, killed my very own brother in anger.

Normally I would try and stop the tears but this time I didn't, I let them fall as I pushed myself to run faster. Away from everyone else so they wouldn't get hurt.

I just ran until I tripped on something that made me fall forward and land on my knees, I wanted to get up so bad and just keep running but I was unable to so I gave up and just sat there on my knees with my hands in front of me and tears streaming down my face.

"I'M SORRY! So very, very sorry!" I knew I could never be forgiven but I found myself screaming it over and over, hoping someone would hear me.

"Why Mikey…..? Why did it have to be you….." I said to myself after getting no respond.

My tears wouldn't stop falling and my sobs were easily heard throughout the part of the sewers I was in.

I had no idea how long I had been sitting here, crying for the loss of my brother. I didn't just lose him I killed him with my very own weapon.

"There you are…." I heard Leo say behind me, I could hear the sadness in his voice.

"P-Please….. J-J-Just lea-leave me al-alone" I forced myself to say between my sobs.

"No" I heard him respond to me as he made his way over to me.

I knew he was close, I could feel his eyes on me and the moment I felt a hand on my shoulder I stood up and walked away from him.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed but soon broke down and continued to cry.

Normally I would never cry so my brothers could see but in this case I just couldn't stop the tears, I wasn't the one to break down like this but Mikey had been so innocent. Just made a joke and I snapped something I hoped I would never do at least not snap so I would kill one of my own brothers. Sure they got on my nerves but that's what brothers do, Annoy you in some way but inside you know they never mean it.

He didn't say a word to me but I could feel his eyes stare at me and before I could react I felt him wrap his arms around me as he pulled me into a hug. At first I tried to get free but the fact that I was still crying, I just couldn't find the strength to pull free so I gave up and eventually returned the hug.

"It's going to be okay Raph" I heard Leo say and even though he tried to hide it I could still hear the sadness in his voice.

"H-How w-will th-things b-be ju-just o-okay? I ki-killed M-Mi-Mikey…!" I forced myself to say back to Leo and I knew that in a way I was right, nothing would change what I had done.

"In time you'll see….." I heard him respond and that didn't make any sense at all to me.

Before I could react I felt something cold and sharp go through my side and I let out a scream of pain as I turned to look at what was going on. Deep in my right side was one of Leo's katanas, blood was slowly coming out from the wound and I knew if he ripped the katana out I would surely bleed to death.

"With you out of the picture to bring us more harm everything will be okay" I heard him say before I had to scream again as the katana was pulled out. It hurt so bad and I wanted to talk to my older brother but was unable to.

I slowly felt myself getting cold and the world around me seemed to go black and I knew that if I wanted him to know I had to say something now.

"L-Leo….. I-I ju-just w-w-want to s-say th-that I lo-love yo-you mo-more th-the-then j-just a bro-brother…I h-hope th-that y-you c-can on-one d-day for-forgive me…." I forced myself to say that even though talking was hard as I was choking on my own blood.

I heard him speak to me but I couldn't make out what it was, I only felt something warm on my forehead.

"Leo….!" I managed to say before the world got black.

And that also brought me out from my nightmare.

Just a nightmare as always…..

I thought to myself and I kept panting for air, I also knew that my eyes were wide open from the shock after what happened in the dream and I was sweating slightly.

This is the reason behind me not being able to sleep, I either I had a nightmare where I would be killed by Leo or I would have sex dreams about Leo.

The nightmares was the worst, they were always so real. Way more real than the other dreams mostly because I knew in the back of my head that I could kill one of my brothers in anger since I wasn't fully aware of what I was doing during my tantrums.

Raph what's wrong?" I heard Leo's voice say to me, I turned my head to look at him. He was slowly making his way over to me.

How long have he been standing there?

I asked myself but I couldn't say a word to Leo, I was still in a light shock after the dream but I knew that I had to tell him.

"Nothing…..Just a bad dream…." I said before I let out a sigh as I stood up.

"A nightmare? That's what has kept you awake all this time?" I heard him question me and in a way that was true but not the full truth, I just couldn't tell him about the other dreams.

"Yeah" Was the only replay I gave him and before I got the chance to leave my own room I felt a hand on my shoulder as Leo stopped me from leaving. His touch gave me chills on my neck, I just hope he didn't notice that.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I finally heard him say, deep down I did but I just couldn't.

"No I just want to forget about it" I said as I removed his hand and walked out of my room.

I knew he was following me because not to long after I had left my room I heard the door being closed and I wasn't the one who had closed it.

When I could smell the scent of pizza I slowly made my way over to the kitchen but I refused to let anyone know about my nightmare, I didn't want to think what Mikey would say if he found out. And I definitely didn't want to know what Leo would do, just the pure thought of what he might do sent chills of fear down my spine.

For now I put on a face and pretended like I had gotten at least some sleep but in truth I felt more tired now than I did this morning but I didn't want anyone to know that, I didn't want them to worry about me more than they already did.