Chapter 3

To be a good surgeon, you have to think like a surgeon. Emotions are messy. Tuck them neatly away and step into a clean, sterile room where the procedure is simple. Cut, suture, and close. But sometimes, you're faced with a cut that won't heal. A cut that rips its stitches wide open…

"Derek Christopher Sheperd! Why in the world did you not answer my calls?" His mother's familiar voice echoed through his headphone speakers.

"Sorry Mom, I…" He was immediately cut off.

"I wanted you to spend Christmas with us Derek! You leave, you don't speak to anyone for months apart from calling once and having the kindness of telling us where the hell you ran to!" She sounded so angry.

"I'm sorry mom, I didn't feel like celebrating the holidays this year, you know, given the circumstances…" He was cut off once more. Oh boy, he better start getting ready to hear it good.

"That is not an excuse not to talk to your mother, Karen says it's sort of normal, but I don't think so."

"I'm sorry." Was all he could reply.

"Alright Derek, I love you, I wish you were able to be happy… You know, since your wife decided to scratch an itch, Mark has been really upset also, it's like my two boys have been damaged and I can't stand it."

Now it was his time to interrupt her. "Don't even talk to me about Mark! It is much is fault as it is Addison's!"

"Well, despite what your sisters so intensely argument, I have to disagree. I believe your wife can be very manipulative." She was speaking in a calm manner this time.

"Mom, please, don't say such things… even though I'm really hurt, she's still…" His voice cracked at that statement.

"Yes, yes, let's get to the point Derek. I've always been critical about Addison and I'm very hurt at what she did to my boys, but I need to put some sense into your little world class neurosurgery brain!"

"What do you mean? What do you know?" Now he was measurably scared. Carolyn Sheperd could be a loving mother one second and a fierce beast the next, even to her own son if need be.

"Well, apparently Nancy was able to reach Addison after calling like a crazy person during our quitet little Christmas evening and she had news I wish I had heard from you…" Dammit, she already knew of his new source of problems. "And I hear she had quite some upsetting comments about your behavior."

He was without words. Like a little boy listening to his mother's nagging after breaking a precious flower jar.

"I'm disappointed Derek, I didn't raise you with those values. Despite everything else, if you're going to have a kid together you need to acknowledge it, you need to take responsibilities! You need to behave like an adult!"

"I know mom, I know, I…" He was in tears. He wasn't used to showing that side to many people, but this was his mother and it was also a very delicate situation. "I'm scared, because for the first time in a long time I don't know what to do…"

"I'm listening" Carolyn used a tender motherly voice.

"I know I still have feelings for Addi and having a big family is my dream Mom, you know that… But every time I look at her it hurts, I just can't but behind my back what happened between her and…" the anger in his voice was clearly noticeable at this point. "…Mark!" He grew silent for a moment, thinking about how to expose the second part of his dilemma. "And there is another woman Mom, Meredith…"

"So I've been told" his mother said in a non-judgmental tone.

"Mom, I know I love her." He purposely stressed the word know. "Being with her is different than anything else I have experienced before."

"Derek, I want you to follow my advice. You need to figure it out." Now it was Carolyn's time to stress the word need. "It is not good for anyone involved to live in uncertainty. Not for you, not for Addison, not for that girl Meredith, hell even not for your kid!" And not for Carolyn either, it pained her so much to see her son's life falling to pieces. "You don't have to make a fast choice Derek, you could even stay single for some time, but you should talk to your wife and discuss your feelings and your future together." She paused for a bit. "You know, I'm worried she would make some stupid harsh decision on her own if you keep things like this Derek…"

"Don't worry Mom, I know for sure she wouldn't have an…" He didn't even want to think about that possibility. "…an abortion with such levity."

"Ok Derek, but you still need to sort things out right away." She knew her son could be very indecisive and a little push once in a while was necessary.

"I know Mom, deep down I do really know what I want, but it's so hard…"

"Good Der…" She was rudely interrupted by a female voice.

"Hey, you are skyping with Derek! Mom, tell him if I could I would smack him in the head with a bone hammer right now!" the voice exclaimed aggressively, but in a funny tone.

"I love you too, Nancy." God, he surely missed his sisters a lot, even Amy. "Got to go Mom, thank you, I really needed this talk, thank you, I love you."

"Love you too" And with that they logged off.

Addison is done with doing nothing. After venting to Nancy, she couldn't stay home and wander in her thoughts anymore. Surgery was the miracle fix. She looked through the surgical board searching for something good and chose an elective hysterectomy, delivering babies was not the kind of thing she felt like doing at the moment.

"Dr. Joshua, would you mind if I lent you a hand?" It was that easy to steal a surgery from a third-year resident. It went by so fast she wished she had took things slower not to have to face reality again. Uterus out, ovaries out, stitch her up and voila. That woman would live happily ever after without having to worry no more about burdens like the one she was carrying.

After scrubbing out she intended to go right to the surgical board again to search for another welcomed distraction. Maybe a freaking separation of Siamese twins, even thought that was not at all an emergency that would just pop up in the board it sure would take the time and skill that she needed to take her mind out of things. Addison wondered where Derek could be and her thoughts were confirmed when she saw is name written sown for a craniotomy at 5.00 pm in OR5. Of course, he did the same she did. For some time in their marriage they had been using that technique to run away from issues.

When she finally decided to take that juicy exploratory pelvic laparotomy she made sure to quickly make way to OR3, to make sure she had enough time to bargain with the resident. However that didn't seem like such a good idea when after turning the first corner at high speed she bumped head first right into someone. That person quickly grabbed her preventing her from falling and looking like a fool in front of the whole damn hospital. Hell, with her luck it was probably Meredith Grey of all people.

"Addison, we need to talk right now." And so husband and wife made their way to the nearest on-call room, dreading the moments that would follow.

A.N - Sorry for taking such a long time to update, but school work speaks louder. I planned to make this story only three chapters long, but it looks like there will be more ^^ If you are still reading, please do say so in the comments, it makes me want to update faster ;)