Welcome back! Chapter 3 is done, and let me tell you, it was daunting. But with perseverance and my constant nagging to my involuntary editor Perls, I finished early. And though it's been reviewed and nitpicked, a few typos and grammatical errors could have slipped through, so bare with me. This chapter finally kick-starts the main plot line. Rest assured, it ends on quite a high note, I promise.

Spite & Dogma

Chapter 1: Certainty

Chapter 2: Caution

Chapter 3: Concessions

Of current positions and risks of change

To fears of rejection

January 10

Oikawa

"Are you doing your stretches properly?"

"Yeees~"

"I mean it, Trashykawa. Do them regularly. I bet Kageyama is doing them without having to be reminded."

"That's too mean, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa huffed on his side of the phone, "What an awful thing to say to me, using Tobio-chan against me like that…"

"Whatever, just do them. I swear to god, if I hear you start complaining about how your knee is feeling sore or tight I will clobber you myself an-"

"You wouldn't!"

"Oh, I would. Gladly."

"You're always such a brute, Iwa-chan," Oikawa smiled, knowingly aggravating his best friend. He had just finished his extra practice with Tobio not too long ago, including his stretches. Being a physician in training, Iwaizumi usually gave him a hard time when it came to being on top of his health to avoid injury.

It's been that way since he could remember.

If it were anyone else, he would be fairly annoyed at the constant nagging. But he enjoyed his best friend worrying about him so diligently. It left him with goose bumps to know that Iwa-chan was always thinking about him.

"Listen dumbass. If you get hurt, you won't be able to compete. And if you can't compete, you'll end up complaining a million times more to me than you already do. I'm trying to save myself from the headache, so just do what I say, okay?"

"Yes mom," He giggled, catching the sound of the former spiker taking deep breaths on the other side of the line. "I should get going, talk to you later Iwa-chan. Bye!" He hung up before Iwaizumi could say anything else, not giving him the chance to yell some more.

He collected his bags and shoes and made his way to the exit, turning to Tobio who was just starting to put his stuff away.

"Bye-bye Tobio-chan. Same time tomorrow, okay?" He waved his hand flippantly as Tobio just waved back, bidding farewell too.

When he got on his train, he pulled out his phone to let Iwaizumi know that he was heading home. Oikawa felt a blush creep up on his neck, thinking that they truly did act like a couple sometimes. Most people usually don't talk as much as they do unless they were in a romantic relationship.

He then remembered to text Ushijima that he would pick up some dinner since he was heading towards the general direction of their favorite ramen place.

It was technically his roommate's turn to make dinner but they had both ran late with practice and figured take out was a better option for the night. He got the message from the ace saying that he already ordered ahead for them.

As he waited for their order to be ready, he received a text from Iwaizumi letting him know that he was starting his graveyard shift at the hospital. Oikawa grinned, wondering if his best friend knew that any message (or call, or glance, or touch) to Oikawa would send the butterflies in his stomach into a frenzy. Suddenly, he felt bittersweet again, thinking back on how Bokuto was going to propose soon.

His thoughts about Iwa-chan had become confusing as of late. The same happened when Sawamura and Sugawara got married, throwing Oikawa into a tiffy. It was also when he last confessed to Iwaizumi that he still loved him.

During the wedding, he became odd and nervous around Iwa-chan, only to throw himself on him during their reception and professed his feelings that never went away.

Iwaizumi, however, was always more level headed.

He gently let down Oikawa's advances and took his drunk-ass back to his place to sleep his stupor off. He shouldn't have been surprised about what happened, but at the time he was desperate to rekindle what they used to be and desperation made him weak. And Oikawa always tended to be the weak one.

Since their breakup in high school, Oikawa had confessed to Iwaizumi a number of times, claiming they belonged together. Other times, he demanded another shot to prove himself worthy. Even when they lived hours away from each other and went to different schools, Oikawa persisted.

And over the years, he had grown accustomed to rejection. His best friend would tell him that they couldn't be together. His reasons varied with different excuses, but it remained clear that he didn't love him like Oikawa did.

As he walked the rest of the way home with a bag full of food, he thought about how much he's grown since the last time he had confessed to his best friend two and a half years ago. Oikawa wasn't as foolish, or as eager for Iwaizumi's affection. Instead, he basked in all the reciprocated affection he got elsewhere—his love for his fans, his love for his teammates, his love for his sport—but sometimes it wasn't enough.

None would ever measure up to his love for his best friend.

And nothing would ever come close to making him as happy as when he used to cuddle with Iwa-chan in the middle of the night and steal kisses in between classes and hold hands when they walked home late. So Oikawa learned how to be satisfied with being content.

Content with the past eight years of just being friends, on focusing on themselves before each other, and seeing each other casually date other people.

Eight years was enough time for Oikawa to realize he had to move on, no matter how hard of a pill it was to swallow. Besides, contentment allowed him to eventually appreciate all the things he did have.

Oikawa climbed the stairs to his flat, rummaging through his pocket for his keys. When he got outside of the door, however, it swung wide open to Ushijima in sweats and rubber gloves. Oikawa raised his brows as he tried to fight a smirk at the sight. He entered the threshold and placed the food on the counter, looking around to see the apartment cleaned and dusted. He turned to his roommate.

"Thanks for cleaning, even though it was my turn," he said, taking out the plastic bowls from the bag and pouring the contents into their own dishes. Ushijima took off his yellow rubber gloves and placed them in the sink to wash his hands.

"It's fine, really. You picked up the food," he turned the water off and dried his hands before grabbing a few utensils, "Besides, you leave streaks on the floor when you mop."

Oikawa turned sharply to his direction with a pout as Ushijima just walked towards their small dining table. He followed with two steaming bowls.

"I do not."

"Do too."

As they ate their meal, Oikawa brought up Bokuto's wedding, wondering who they'd be paired up with or if they would be able to bring a 'plus one'.

"I'm assuming that Tendou would be your date, right?" Oikawa taunted with a wide smirk as Ushijima finished his noodles.

"If he's not busy," he said, taking his last spoonful. He looked up as Oikawa unattractively slurped more noodles, his mouth forming the smallest of frowns as he thought more on the subject. "Are you going to ask Iwaizumi?" Oikawa continued to slurp as he shrugged his shoulders, finishing with a fake smile.

"Who else would I take?"

"Yes, who else, indeed," Ushijima muttered as he wiped his face harshly with his napkin. He then pushed his bowl away from him and took out his phone from his pocket, deciding that he didn't want to continue the conversation. Oikawa rolled his eyes as he swallowed and wiped his mouth before speaking.

"I go everywhere with Iwa-chan," he started, "but as friends. Everyone knows that. If anything, it'd be weird to go anywhere with anyone else."

"So it'd be weird to go with your boyfriend?" Ushijima challenged.

In hindsight, this particular conversation might not have been a good idea. Any conversation that brings up Iwaizumi was always a bad idea.

"If no one knows about said boyfriend, yes." He didn't want to have this conversation again. This fight was exhausting, always leaving both of them upset.

Being in a secret romance was easy when they started two years ago, agreeing that it would be the best for their public image if no one knew about them. They had started as roommates and teammates that hooked up… then they both grew attached (much to Oikawa's horror). They became an official item a few months into their physical relationship. They simultaneously stopped seeing other people and stopped threatening to find new roommates. After a year together, Ushijima had confessed that he loved him, and instead of saying it back, Oikawa had told him that he still loved Iwaizumi.

In that moment, he told him everything, figuring he deserved to know. It was only after that he found out that Ushijima had always assumed they had a history. And even though it always struck a nerve with the ace, he still longed for Oikawa. He had accepted that he might not have him wholly, as long as he can have him.

And yet, whenever Iwaizumi was brought up, it left him raw and made Oikawa feel like the bad guy. He knew two years of being a secret must take a toll, but he wasn't ready to be public. He wasn't ready for everyone to know—especially Iwaizumi.

"Right. Excuse me for mentioning such an absurd proposal," Ushijima snarled.

"You asked," he sassed. He looked over Ushijima who was still looking down on his phone, trying to pretend he never said anything, knowing it annoyed Oikawa. He hated being dismissed, especially when they bickered. "Right then. Well, if you're done, I'll wash the dishes since I don't really feel like fighting right now." He quickly picked up the bowls before he made his way to the sink.

Oikawa could feel his eyebrows crease together as he harshly scrubbed the bottom of a pot in the sink. He didn't realize that he had been cleaning the same thing for ten minutes, lost in thought about how stupid he felt for bringing up the subject of dates to the wedding. With all the growing up he'd done, he still somehow found new and innovated ways to stick his foot in his mouth. He was so engrossed in his thoughts and scrubbing to noticed that he wasn't alone in the kitchen.

He immediately tensed up when he felt rough, strong hands gently placed on his waist, taking deep breaths before he stopped scrubbing the pot and dropped it into the small pool of water. He turned off the faucet as he tried to ignore the heat rising from his chest. Ushijima pulled Oikawa's back towards him and the setter felt the taller man's nose grazing the baby hair on the back of his neck until he brought it towards the edge of his collar.

"I'm sorry," the larger man breathed, flushed up against his skin, "I didn't mean to lose my temper."

Oikawa did his best not to move, staying bullheaded. He remained stiff, determined not to give into his resolve or Ushijima's insistent nuzzling. Aware that he was being stubborn, the taller ace pushed them forward so that Oikawa was against the counter as one of his hands made their way under the setter's shirt and the other to the waistband of his pants."I'm really sorry," he said as he licked his flesh below his ear, "Let me make it up to you."

Oikawa almost gave in but he resisted the urge to shudder when his teammate's teeth bit down on his dip between his neck and collarbone.

"I'm not going to reward you for practically throwing a tantrum," Oikawa hissed, biting his bottom lip as his boyfriend pressed his pelvis against his ass.

Suddenly, he was turned around, coming face to face with Ushijima. Oikawa glared at him, only to be rewarded with an apologetic pout. His felt his willpower weaken and sighed. His hands made their way up his muscular boyfriend's arms, still irked. "I don't like being ignored."

"I know. I'm sorry," Ushijima pardoned. Giving up entirely at staying mad, Oikawa rested his chin on the man's chest while he pushed them off the counter. He tugged on to the ace's sweat pants smiling at the taller man's lack of resistance.

"I know you are." It never took long for their fights to be resolved, no matter how often it happened. They had plenty of practice with compromising in their relationship. That's the way it had to be, seeing as how it was quite the adjustment to be in love with someone who loved another. "So why don't you make it up to me already then," Oikawa teased, eyes half lidded as they stood only a few inches apart. It only took a moment for Ushijima to finally brush his lips against Oikawa's, holding onto his slim waist as he gently guided them out of the kitchen.

When they tumbled into the ace's room (practically both of their room) Oikawa felt hazy as Ushijima purred soft words in the dark. He felt hypnotized as he pulled his boyfriend down into the mattress with him, feverish when he pulled Oikawa's hands above his head, intertwining their finger. He felt wrong for enjoying every moment with his arch-nemesis, and it felt like ages since he stopped imagining Iwaizumi's instead when he was with Wakatoshi. It really was an adjustment to be with someone who wasn't Iwa-chan, but at least with Ushijima in his arms, he was content.

January 12

Kuroo

Kuroo and Bokuto wandered around the arts and hobby store looking for decor for Bokuto's plan to propose to Akaashi later that weekend, completely in over their heads. They strolled down were in an aisle filled with different kinds of plastic flowers and feathers, the latter taking up the former Fukurodani captain's attention. As Bokuto figured out which colors he wanted, Kuroo was looking at the flowers.

"Bo! I found some forget-me-nots, but I don't think they have gardenas. Gardeneos? Gardenae—man, whatever they are, they don't have them," Kuroo informed as he brought a few samples of his findings to Bokuto. The wing spiker looked them over before shaking his head.

"These don't look right here either!" He whined, then he shrugged his shoulders, "I guess I am gonna have to get real flowers. Shit, that's gonna be so expensive." He put the flowers to the side as he took out his phone and tried to find a reasonably priced florist. "Maybe I should have found a cheaper ring." He noted.

Kuroo agreed, especially after his best bro told him how much he put down on the piece of jewelry.

Yikes.

He knew that Akaashi and Bokuto didn't worry about finances much, but he had to admit it was excessive. He looked around, seeing the plethora of flowers that would have been satisfactory.

"Maybe you should have. I mean, it's just a ring," he claimed as he rolled his neck, "And honestly, you don't have to get everything. It might not be worth spending so much," he finished nonchalantly.

Turning back to his best bro, Bokuto gave him a pointed look. At first, he thought he might have said something to piss Bokuto off, but then he saw that classic Bokuto grin spread across his face.

"Trust me. Akaashi is definitely worth it."

Kuroo recalled seeing the same sort of fierceness in Kenma only a few days ago. He was glad that they felt that way. However, a part of him was still also curious of their certainty for their partners. How could you be sure on one person? Especially when that one person can always leave.

"Bo?" He started, as Bokuto gave him his attention while dropping feathers into a shopping bag by the handfuls. "How do you know?"

"Know what?"

"That you and Akaashi belong together." Bokuto stopped his task, giving Kuroo a sly smirk and raised his brow at such an odd question. "Like, you know, 'he's the one' and all that." He chuckled in response to Kuroo's use of his finger quotation marks.

"Damn, bro. Don't tell me you've fallen for one of your booty calls. Ooh! Is it the one that works at that sake bar? Cuz me and Akaashi want free drinks," He joked with a wide smile as he picked up some paint on the next aisle and made his way to the front to pay, Kuroo following behind.

"No, I haven't. I'm just curious." Bokuto looked at him squarely, saying that he'll tell them in the car.

After paying at the cashier, they walked back to the Kuroo's car as his best friend told them of a place nearby where he could find the appropriate flowers. Once he got comfortable in the passenger seat, Bokuto started taking deep, long breaths. This went on for a few minutes, Kuroo knowing that his friend was just dramatically pumping himself up.

Finally, the shorter man looked towards Kuroo who had been waiting patiently in the driver seat. After a few seconds, Kuroo face dropped as Bokuto started to tear up. He was about to panic until Bokuto smiled, looking out the front window in a daze.

"I have never thought of anyone else more than I ever have of Akaashi," he started, "I have never wanted more, felt more for, or ever cared more for anyone else. He has always been..." He finally looked at Kuroo, smile as brilliant as ever.

"My most important person. My favorite person. He has always been the one to help me be my best. I am my best self when I'm with him."

Kuroo couldn't think of any other time he had seen Bokuto with so much conviction. Not even with volleyball.

So this is love.

When Bokuto started laughing at his expression, he wondered how it must have felt to have someone like that. He was envious. He tried to recall the last time he ever felt anything remotely close to that. The last time he ever thought he was his best self was with—

"Jeez, Kuroo. What's up with you? Making me feel all sappy and shit," he muttered with a smile as he tried to recompose himself into a playful persona. Wiping away a few stray tears with the heel of his palm, he looked Kuroo once over and couldn't help but sympathize with the brunette. "I'm sure you know how it's like. I mean, you and Ken are practically in sync," he wiggles his brows, "Who knows? You guys might actually end up together if he and my bird-son split." The thought made Kuroo raise a brow back, smirk returning to his handsome face. They were on the road when Kuroo corrected his hyperactive friend.

"You obviously haven't seen Ken lately. He's more in love with shorty then ever," Kuroo paused, figuring it was alright to spill his best friend's secret since he kind of did the same thing with Bokuto's engagement. "He's going to ask Hinata to move with him. I went with him when he found the new place. It's really nice."

"Woah! Seriously?! That's huge!" Bokuto hopped in his seat,"Our Kenma, growing up," he mimed a lone tear falling down his cheek, "Akaashi will be so proud. Hopefully, Hinata will go along with it, if not, you can definitely shack up with the kid."

"Nah, I'm bound on the '80-year-old cat lady' track," He kept his eyes on the road but managed to look serene as he looked forward, "He's happy, so I'm happy."

Bokuto glanced at him from the side of his eye and pouted. He turned to look out the passenger window, wondering what to say to his friend.

"You know, I think I have a rough idea of who Akaashi would ask to be his groomsmen…"

"Oh?"

"Yeah, Kenma would definitely get asked."

"Well knowing Ken, he'd say yes."

"Yeah, and probably Yaku. I know for sure he'd ask Wataru."

"Oh yeah! You guys would have to pick between your old teammates. I forgot. Well, that shouldn't be too bad. Yaku's a good choice, too."

"Yeah. So I guess you get the pick of the litter."

"Sweeeeeet. Though they're all sorta my friends too, so I wouldn't go for them, or anything. Maybe I can find a distant cousin of Akaashi! That way you and I would be kinda related!" He bounced up and down, grinning at the idea. Usually, Bokuto would be bouncing right next to him at the possibility but he watched his friend closely.

"Yeah...He might also ask Tsukki too, I think."

This caught Kuroo's attention, shooting Bokuto a quick glance before he goes back to watching traffic. However, Bokuto took notice of the slight stiffness in his shoulders and the grip on the wheel.

"Oh, yeah. They're good friends now, right?"

"Yeah. They're pretty close."

"Makes sense... I mean, they've always got along well. They still hang?"

"They hang out a lot, actually."

"Cool."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. He'd be a good choice."

"I think so..."

"Cool."

"That's only if, you know, you're okay with it. Of course."

Kuroo looked sharply at the passenger seat where Bokuto was still looking at him. Understanding the silent question, Bokuto clarified, "Akaashi would never do anything to make you uncomfortable, bro."

Still confused, Kuroo raised his brow as he parked in a front of a nursery. He took the keys out of the ignition, fully turning his head towards Bokuto.

"That's fine...Why would I be uncomfortable, exactly?" Kuroo urged. Bokuto scoffed, also turning so he was fully facing him. He was slightly alarmed when he felt Bokuto's hand slam down on his shoulder.

"Because you're my best friend and I love you," he tilted his head to the side, "And I know you better than you think."

Kuroo sat in shock, unsure what just happened or if he imagined what he heard. He wondered if Bokuto knew or was just bluffing. He figured that it was the former, seeing as his friend gripped him fiercely before exiting the car.

But how?

Kuroo knew that Bokuto never tried to meddle, knowing how Kuroo could get defensive. However, he wondered what would have been if he just confided all his doubts to his friends. He exited the car, still at a lost of how the conversation turned. He needed to clear the air, to make sure he wasn't misunderstood.

"Bokuto, hold up. I just—I wasn't in a good place when—"

"Dude," the pepper haired man interrupts, "It's ok. You don't have to say anything. Really."

Kuroo was baffled, never thinking that of all people to know his secret, it would end up being Bokuto. Which only meant that Akaashi probably knew too.

"Since when?"

"Since you left," he said, giving Kuroo a genuine expression. There was a silent understanding, telling Kuroo that nothing else needed to be said.

Part of him felt mortified at the revelation of someone knowing about the time when he made the biggest mistakes, but another part deep down felt relieved that they also saw him when he was most his best self. With someone who brought it out of him. He stood there, thankful for his friend not making him say it out loud. It would have been too much right now—it was always too much.

With that, Bokuto turned and headed to the entrance of the nursery.

"Besides, he might not accept. I mean," he paused, probably for dramatic effect, "You know how Tsukki could be."

Yes. Of all people, he did know how he could be. He wondered if Tsukishima would be hesitant in accepting because of Kuroo.

He doubted it, seeing as how little regard he had for Kuroo now. He wouldn't hesitate because of 'a friend of a friend' or really, 'this guy I once knew.'

Plus, the blond was too prideful to let Kuroo get in the way of anything he did; always has been. As Bokuto found a clerk inside, Kuroo wandered around the store, his mind caught up in old times.

"If I had to pick…I think I would want to be proposed to in the Chicxulub crater in Mexico."

"Where the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs landed?"

"That's the one." Kuroo chuckled into his kohai's hair as they laid on his old, lumpy couch at his flat, limbs intertwined during the cold evening as they ignored the movie playing lowly in the background. Kuroo was on his side as Tsukki laid the back of his head on Kuroo's forearm as the older man's other hand trailed patterns across the thin fabric of the blond's shirt above his navel.

"I wouldn't expect that from you. It's kinda ironic, though."

"Exactly. Except, I'd still want it to be private. Like, no other person there or close by."

"That'd be hard, seeing as it's a touristy spot. Right?"

"Well, by then I'll be a full-fledged paleontologist and would have access to the actual sites like the inside of the crater. Not just the stupid parameter around it. Besides, it would have to be that way because I know myself, and I know I would reject any proposal if there was a crowd or audience."

"So harsh, Tsukki~"

"It's true. That's why the whole ring in champagne flute in a fancy restaurant with the other customers clapping seems unpleasant."

Kuroo laughed, already imagining Tsukki flat out rejecting someone for making him uncomfortable and pressured.

The conversation had started when Tsukki was telling Kuroo about how his brother had proposed not too long ago, Kuroo clutching his stomach as the story went on. The conversation was surprisingly light, not making either of them feel awkward. They weren't dating, and they weren't picturing each other when they talked about their dream proposals. They were kinda 'friends'...ish. 'Friends' who had fun together. At least that's what they told each other.

Kuroo had just recently stopped dismissing the slight tingle he got at the pit of his stomach whenever he and Tsukki would be together. It was even more prominent when he still felt dizzy around him when they would just end up hanging out. Neither could deny their chemistry, but both had agreed that romance wasn't allowed. It was a rule Kuroo followed with anyone he was intimate with physically. He couldn't focus on romance—not when he had his career and volleyball to focus on. Unfortunately, he had grown attached. Kuroo was happy that he wasn't so obvious about his growing infatuation with the younger boy.

"How about you, Kuroo-san? How would you propose? Unless you want to be the one surprised…"

"Hmm, I don't know. Never really thought about it. But, I guess I might want it to be private too." And yes, Kuroo knew that Tsukki didn't picture him in his fantasy, but Kuroo couldn't stop his thought from imagining being in a large valley on his knee with a tall blond. It was foolish, but his thoughts were lately filled with nothing but blond hair, sharp golden-honey eyes, and dark rimmed glasses.

"Not interested in monogamy, Kuroo-san?"

It was common knowledge that he wasn't a fan of the institution; he was always cynical since growing up in a household with a love-less marriage. He didn't have a problem with other people pairing off and getting married, though, it just wasn't in the stars for him. He, however, couldn't stop himself from feeling pins and needles crawl up his spine as he watched Tsukki's eyes find his own, a sly smirk gently gracing his pale complexion.

"No," he whispered as he repositioned himself so he was on top of the younger man, his free hand sliding up Tsukki's torso, "That's not what I'm interested in right now..." He lowered himself so they were a breath away. His stomach started to flip as he watched a bright blush rise up the blond's neck, his eyes watching Kuroo as he licked his lips slowly. Kuroo caught the motion, bringing his hand to hold Tsukki's face, his thumb tracing the same motion slowly as he pressed his hips down on the others in an unhurried pace.

The friction was doing wonderful things to Tsukki's face, making his eyes flutter and Adam's apple bob fiercely as he swallowed harshly. He watched his kohai's brow crease together as he gently bit down on the thumb that moved between his lips. When Kuroo pushed down harder between Tsukki's legs, he gasped.

"AH~Kuroo-san."

It sometimes scared Kuroo of how much he ached for Tsukki. He was scared that his longing was more than a small infatuation, that his crush was submerged in feelings that he swore he wouldn't develop, that his desires bordered passion. It would have been the worst possibility, the worst outcome, his worst nightmare—his favorite fantasy. He was scared that he'd want to forever be trapped in his own delusion. He couldn't have that.

"Ku—uroo-sa—ah.."

He continued to grind against his crotch, the pins and needles on his spine turning into sharp knives as the panting mess beneath him started to move against him, a rich rhythm between them as his hands made their way down to Tsukki's pants.

"Kuro—ah"

All the moans, sensations, and sparks scared him. He was scared that he was falling for someone who couldn't feel the same towards him. That he was falling for someone who he wasn't going to be able to leave. Each touch and gasp scared the living shit out of him. Every time he dove into all Tsukishima Kei was, he was scared of how easily he gave in.

"Kuroo."

And he was starting to get scared of the day he would no longer have the boy.

"…Kuroo..."

He was certain the day would come. He made no concession to stop it from happening.

"Nnnh,Te—tet..."

He couldn't stop it if he tried.

" ...Tetsu.."

So he took all Tsukishima Kei gave him, scared beyond belief. He didn't know if he'd be able to let go when the moment came, but for now...

"Tetsu—"

He was over the fucking moon.

"Tetsurou."

"Kuroo!"

He snapped his head around where he heard Bokuto calling him, walking down the long aisle rolling a large cart with him filled with blue and white flora. He blinked a couple of times, unaware of how long he had been zoning out. He hadn't even noticed that he had walked across the store.

"Jesus, there you are. I've been looking for you for a good five minutes. Where'd you wander off to?" he asked, finally stopping as he reached his friend. He then looked at what Kuroo was (apparently) looking at. "Ooooooooh! Moonflowers!"

Kuroo looked forward and saw that he was standing in front of a large crate full of white moonflowers in pots and others in large bouquets. He didn't even realize they were there until Bokuto had all but screamed. A small smirk played against his mouth, finding the view a bit ironic.

"I should get some of these too! Akaashi would love them! Help me get them in the wagon." Bokuto started grabbing bouquets and placing them in his cart, Kuroo slowly grabbing a few too.

After they made their way to checkout and emptying Bokuto's bank account, they drive to Kuroo's place, where they were currently storing all the necessary items for the big night. As Bokuto started to organize the different colored feathers and telling him to figure out where they would be placed with the flowers, Kuroo drifted back in his thoughts. He really hoped that Tsukishima would accept Akaashi's offer. He'd like to see the blond in a suit again. He'd like to see him smile again, too.

He closed his eyes. He thought back to old times and dinosaurs—to tall blonds, sharp golden-honey eyes, and dark rimmed glasses.

Sugawara

Making dinner was always Sugawara's favorite thing to do after he got off his shift at the hospital. Ever since he and Daichi had watched an episode of some cooking competition with his mom, they were hooked. Sugawara loved coming up with wild recipes and they had adopted the tradition trying out the newest wacky dishes for dinner on Tuesdays. By the time he would finish the main ingredients, Daichi would get home to do the plating and presentation (his favorite part). His husband was still awhile away from getting back from school, staying late due to a staff meeting. He was in the middle of baking some sweet yams when his mother decided to call.

"So, what are you making? A curry?" she queried.

"No, a purée. Purée. It's like mash potatoes, but creamier. I'm making it with some asparagus and glazed cutlets."

"Oh! That sounds neat. What does Daichi-kun think of this purry thing?"

Suga sighed good-heartedly. His mother always called on him on Tuesdays, wanting to get an update from his son's life and rave about food. He was always happy to oblige, sometimes feeling homesick when she talked about everyone who was back in Miyagi.

"We'll see."

"How did Daichi-kun like his birthday present?"

"He really loved it. Thank you. He was complaining about how he didn't have anything to do barbecue. I think we're going to wait till spring to assemble the grill, though."

"Great! Do you boys have enough room?"

"Yes, as small as our porch is, we actually have plenty of space left over. Daichi double checked," he chuckled as he remembered watching the sturdy brunette measure the back porch with tape and meter sticks.

"Oh well, that's good," he could feel a suspenseful pause, unsure what his mother was thinking about. "It's just...You sure you boys don't want to think about coming back here at some point?"

Ah, this conversation. Suga sighed, mentally preparing himself for the discussion ahead. He and Daichi usually have the same conversation with their parents asking them to come back to Miyagi. Though both of them love their hometown, they had new lives in Tokyo. Sugawara was the head nurse in the pediatric ward of a renowned hospital and Daichi was an established teacher in a very forward thinking school.

And neither jobs cared about their relationship status. It was hard to find that kind of progressive thinking in the countryside, no matter how much they both longed for home.

"We were just home, Ma. Remember? We had that big party with Ennoshita and Asahi too."

"A visit isn't what I'm talking about, Koushi. I was talking to your father and apparently the cost of houses has lowered since a few months ago."

"Ma, you know it's not about the money."

"I thought you might say that, so I took the liberty of doing a little research myself. Did you know the Tohoku University Hospital is opening a new wing for children with cancer? Isn't that lovely?"

"That's great, Ma. Really but—"

"And I'm sure Ukai-san or Takeda-san could help Daichi-kun find a great position nearby. Plus they're married too, so that should be proof enough that they're are some liberal schools around here."

"Well, Daichi is a great teacher. Merit alone would be fine, but it's just our lives are—"

"Plus you can get a house with a lot more space here."

"Wait, please listen. I don't want to interrupt you but—"

"And you both would be closer to your family here."

"Ma, we're not going to—"

"But it's a better place to raise a family."

Suga stopped mid-sentence, confused if he just heard correctly. Never had either of their parents given up on them moving back home eventually. However, this is the first time anyone brought up anything about kids.

"What?"

"Koushi, you can't expect me to believe raising a child in Tokyo would be better than here? Besides, us grandparents wouldn't always be able to travel down there."

"No—wait. What? What child?" Sugawara choked out, caught off guard with the conversation.

"...Do you and Daichi-kun not want kids yet? That's a real shame, you're both at a good age, Koushi. You should really reconsider."

"Uh," he paused, apprehensive of where this conversation was going. True, he and Daichi had not discussed where to raise a child...mostly because they've never brought up kids.

It wasn't an easy discussion for the couple, especially being gay. It would bring added pressure, and being around children all the time, Sugawara knew the hardships that came with them.

"Oh, sorry dear. Mako from next door is here. I'll talk to you soon, I have to go."

"Oh, okay. Bye, ma."

"Bye Koushi. And don't think this discussion is over." And with that, she hung up, leaving him in a stupor. After a few moments, he went back to checking the meat, shoulders heavy with a new burden. While he continued to prep their meal, he thought back on the subject of having kids.

He had never thought they would, figuring the topic would never arise. But the more he thought about it, he never recalled asking Daichi if he ever wanted children. When the former setter thought of his family, he thought of his parents and relatives back home. And Daichi. He might have considered a pet at some point, but never another human being.

He then heard the front door open, Daichi walking inside with a couple of book bags and a grocery bag with wine.

"Got the vino," he smiled, shimmying out of his shoes. He put down everything else as he took out the bottle and made his way over to press a gentle kiss on his husband. He pulled away a few inches, smiling down to Sugawara, who was blushing, even after all the years together. "Smells great." he chimed.

After putting his things away and washing up, Sawamura made his way towards the left counter, hanging his jacket on a hook on the wall and draped an apron on instead (a matching set). The pale haired man watched him take out the dishes from the cupboard and began placing them on the kitchen island.

As he continued to watch him work, Sugawara hoped he wasn't being unfair to him. He would do anything for Daichi, but being responsible for another person was a huge feat.

He felt slightly silly worrying about something that they hadn't even talked about. He didn't know why it was bugging him. As he watched his husband place a few greens around the main dish, he tried to picture a child with the man he loved. He tried hard not to smile (and failing) at the idea of holding a baby with dark hair and tan skin.

A family wasn't starting to sound that bad. Anything with Daichi would surely work out. If Daichi wanted it, then Sugawara would find a way to also want it.

After dinner, Sugawara went back to thinking if he should bring up having a family. It made him felt queasy.

Did he really want kids? Could he come around to the idea for his husband? Would he be a good father? These thoughts made him feel even sicker.

As they laid in bed later that night, he thought about if he'd have to choose between giving Daichi all he wanted in the world along and possibly asking himself for the first time in their relationship if he was the person who belonged in his arms.

Was this really about children?...

Sugawara was being selfish and stupid. Others would kill to be with Daichi Sawamura. Having a family with the man would be a dream come true.

Yet, as much as he wished it to be, it wasn't his.

He was stuck, between the arms of the love of his life and his insecure fear that he made a mistake along the way. He tried to cast away the churning in his stomach as he forced his eyes shut and forced himself to think of strong arms holding a small bundle of joy.

Joy, he repeated. If he did it enough, it would grow on him.

Joy.

(repeat)

Joy.

(repeat)

Joy.

Sugawara could make adjustments for Daichi. That's all he's ever wanted.

Joy.

January 15

Bokuto

Bokuto always asked for directions—always. It took him three tries to get his license because he didn't know where to go. He had missed dozens of flights and appointments because he always ran late due to his ineptitude with directions. He'd even been late to his own graduation because he got lost. So when he didn't look over to ask Akaashi for directions at some point in the drive to the 'restaurant' they were supposedly going to, he feared that his boyfriend had already caught onto his ruse.

"Are you sure we're going the right way?"

"Yeah! Don't worry babe. I already drove to this place earlier to make sure." Bokuto assured, a cold sweat coating his forehead. For the most part, he wasn't lying (which was almost always impossible with Akaashi). He and Kuroo had driven out to the spot three times already to make sure Bokuto knew the way, making sure nothing could possibly go wrong. He didn't, however, think to adjust for Akaashi's suspiciousness.

He could feel the small glances that Akaashi kept sending his way every few minutes causing his hands to clam up as he gripped the wheel tighter. When they had gotten out of the city and were surrounded by nothing but countryside, Akaashi had started getting fidgety. He liked organization and order so he, in turn, hated surprises.

"Koutarou, where are we going?" Akaashi asked, his tone giving away his annoyance.

"To eat, duh!"

"Koutarou."

"What? Are you not hungry anymore or somet—"

"Tell me. Now."

"Bu—but...You'll ruin the surprise, Keiji!" He blurted, regretting it immediately. "I mean, not surprise, dinner! Yeah, dinner, but not. Instead...there's gonna be other stuff, and of course food-"

Akaashi wasn't a fan of spontaneity, but sometimes Bokuto got away with it; like when he threw him the birthday party less than a month ago. Then other times, Bokuto surprises turn out...not so great. He tried not to remember last year's terrible birthday camping trip. Not one of his best moment. He mentally prepared to for the scolding he was bound to receive…

"...Fine," Akaashi sighed as he faced forward. Bokuto momentarily froze, unsure how to respond to his cooperativeness.

Bokuto was nervous enough with Akaashi possibly being mad at him, but he felt on edge with this very unexpected reaction.

The more he thought about it, the more uneasy he felt about how Akaashi has been acting strangely recently. Lately, Akaashi has been letting him get away with a lot more foolishness than usual. A lot of stuff, actually.

"Fine?..."

"Yes, it's fine. Really," the dark haired beauty stated, casually checking his phone, leaving Bokuto in a stupor. "I trust you."

"You sure?" he asked, getting really tense at his boyfriend's odd behavior.

"Yes," Akaashi turned with a smile, "I'm sure whatever it is will be fine. Now pay attention to the road before you get lost," He ended, going back to his phone.

With a twinkle in his eyes he did as he was told, his spirits high and more excited about his plan. He's been nervous with Akaashi's strange behavior and his jitters but couldn't help it—he was about to propose to Akaashi and become a husband…

Unless he said no.

Bokuto was not an insecure person, by any means, but he had moments of self-doubt. Everyone was aware how easily dejected he could become, but no one worried since Akaashi was always there to lift him back up again. He frowned as he kept driving, wondering if he would be able to pick himself back up if Akaashi said rejected his proposal.

Would they pretend it never happened?

Would Akaashi leave him?

If they broke up because Bokuto pushed too much or maybe took too long to ask, he knew he would never recover.

No one was more perfect for him than the gentle setter. He would be lost. Unquestionably ruined for the rest of his days. After being together for almost a decade, their lives were intertwined together. Harmonized.

Akaashi was a part of him now. And he loved him. And he wouldn't lose him. He'd adjust all that he was for the man he loved. Marriage would be a big adjustment but he hoped this wasn't a mistake.

Shortly after, they arrived at a small closed restaurant of the side of the open road. On the side of the building a large, worn sign advertising a large grove on the grounds. Bokuto turned off the car, grinning as Akaashi looked really confused as he unbuckled himself but didn't say anything. Bokuto was now more jittery as he opened the trunk and took out a small basket, filled with small snacks, finger food, and fruit along with a few cans of soda.

He passed one to Akaashi who had an amused grin on his face, fairly confused about what was happening, but still eager enough to not question and play along. His grin widened when Bokuto opened the back passenger door and pulled out a small blanket and flashlight.

"Alrighty," he half-yelled, "Let's go, babe."

"Is this all part of your 'not a surprise' surprise?"

"...no," he fibbed. His boyfriend grinned.

"Ok. Let's go."

They had gone around the small restaurant towards the back, where Bokuto led them down a dirt path that went across the grove. Flashlight on, they started snacking as they walked through the giant orchard. Bokuto felt more relaxed seeing Akaashi enjoy himself regardless of the change of plans. They walked slowly, talking about their day as they chewed on grapes and crackers.

"By the way, isn't this technically trespassing?"

"Nope, I paid the owner earlier. It's all good! Your man covered it," he winked.

"Lucky me," he elbowed him gently causing the loud, pepper haired man to laugh.

After twenty minutes of walking, Bokuto turned to Akaashi, a mischievous grin on his face. Akaashi raised a brow and he sipped on his drink, waiting. Then, his eyes widened as Bokuto slipped a blindfold from his pocket. Akaashi recovered quickly, a small frown gracing his mouth.

"Koutarou, we're not having sex here."

"What? No, that's not what this is for!" He flayed his hands back and forth panicking. When Bokuto stopped flailing, he gently nudged the blindfold towards his boyfriend. With a sigh, Akaashi submitted and allowed the wing spiker to put it on him. Bokuto made sure not to tie it too tight as he then gave Akaashi the basket and blanket then proceeded to gently guide him forward.

Akaashi was stiff as they slowly walked for another few minutes. Bokuto knew Akaashi trusted him, but he could be a bit apprehensive. He gently gripped his shoulders, reassuring him that he was there. When they finally reached their destination, Bokuto started to feel flustered again. He wondered if it was a bad idea. Maybe he should talk to Kuroo before he did anything. What if he said no—

"Hello, anyone there?" Akaashi asked a moment after he felt them stop and Bokuto let go of him, unsure of what was happening. "Are you going to keep me blindfolded or are you going to let me see this surprise?" He giggled at Bokuto's silence.

Bokuto swallowed hard, his heartbeat starting to rapidly increase. He took the basket and blanket and placed them to the side as he gently started to untie the blindfold, hoping for the best.

When the fabric slipped off, Akaashi he still had his eyes closed in anticipation. He hummed for permission, making Bokuto's stomach to do back flips. The larger man took a small step towards him, placing a hand on his back as the other adjusted his face to look to the side.

"You," he whispered in his ear, "you can open your eyes now."

His lashes fluttered as he opened his lids, steel blue eyes reflecting the whole galaxy.

They had walked towards the outskirts of the large orchard to a bank on a small lake covered in blue and white feathers and matching flowers illuminated by rustic lanterns. The more he looked, the more he appeared lost in the scene. There were small candles around in glass vases giving the bankside soft lighting that reflected off the water. When his eyes traveled further into the lake, he saw small sparkles. He looked up and saw the entire night sky covered in radiant speckled light. He slowly eased out of Bokuto's hold and walked towards the edge careful not to step on all the hard work Bokuto did. He stood still, gaze held by the view.

Bokuto just watched him, unsure of what to do or say. He hadn't gushed out like Bokuto had hoped he would, but he was still calm. He started to get restless trying to figure out what to say and how to take his boyfriend's reaction.

"I wanted to take you stargazing, but we couldn't really do that in the city, so, I figured this would do…" he murmured, his nerves getting the better of him.

Akaashi looked frozen and Bokuto was starting to get even jumpier. "Do...you like it?" The ravenhead seemed to snap out of his trance, turning back to face his boyfriend.

"Ah, sorry. I was just thinking about our friends."

That… was the most unromantic thing that could have been said. Akaashi immediately registered how it came across, watching Bokuto's nervous expression turn blank. He quickly tried to reassure him before he got in a mood.

"Ah no, not like that. I love this, I love it. I do! Thank you." He corrected himself, but Bokuto seemed dejected still. He then sighed heavily, annoyed at the miscommunication.

"Koutarou I love it. What I meant to say is that I was thinking how our friends," he started and then calmly turned back to the view, "...how they aren't as happy as they should be. And being with you—you, who would do this for me—I wish they could know my happiness…"

Now. It was now. He started taking a few step to reach him.

"And how lucky we are to have found each other…"

He reached in his pocket.

"And how much I love you."

He got on his right knee.

"And how much I never want to know what it feels like to be without you," Akaashi choked as he felt a sting in his eyes and a smile broke across his face. He reached for his breast pocket, "Koutarou, will you ma-"

Akaashi finally turned and froze when he couldn't see anyone behind him. A momentary panic consumed him before he noticed a slight movement beneath him. He then looked down to see Bokuto on his knee, holding out a small open box with a slender silver ring shining against the soft light of the lanterns and stars.

Bokuto saw the shocked look on younger man's face and, for a moment, wondered if he'd say no. They stayed still for a few seconds until Bokuto cleared his throat. He had to ask, he needed to show Akaashi the lengths he would go. He couldn't help but feel a clenching in his gut when Akaashi started to shake his head slightly at the sight of him. He wanted to take it back, but he had come too far. He dug deep for what little courage he had left.

"Keiji."

He tried to ignore the pang in his heart when he saw him hold up his hand to stop him.

"I love you," his smile looked broken as he tried to best not to sob.

Then Akaashi looked away from him.

He hoped his worst nightmare wasn't happening. Knowing that it was all a mistake by the drop of the brunet's shoulder and the glassiness of his eyes—that it was all over. They might not come back from this.

Bokuto tried to ignore the wetness sliding down his cheeks and the shaking of his hands.

It hurt more than he feared.

"Will you...marry me?"

Neither of them moved for what felt like ages. After another minute of stillness, his resolve faded away. Bokuto dropped his hands and dipped his head as fresh tears ran down his face, devastated. He stood up with a sniffle, whispering an apology, closing the velvet box and sliding it back in his pocket as he—

"Yes."

He snapped his head to gawk at the tear streaked face of Akaashi, who had a smile more beautiful than any he's ever seen before.

"Yes," sniff, "yes," he choked with a silent sob.

He was still at a lost as he saw him reach into his pocket and pull out a small box of his own. He sniffled as he opened it and turned it towards Bokuto.

"But...only if you say yes too." He gently nudged the box to him.

Bokuto stared down at the small ring, both dark and light as he registered what Akaashi had just asked him. He felt lightheaded as goose bumps made their way down his limbs. Akaashi then gently stepped forward and reached for the other box still in Bokuto's hand. He gently grabbed his hand and switched their boxes forcing Bokuto to look up and break out into a tearful laugh as he immediately recovered and kissed Akaashi fiercely. They moved against one another, a quiet passion slowly enrapturing them as each motion felt deeper and closer. They began to open slowly as Akaashi licked his lips, yearning for more. They held on to each other, leaving no space between them as Bokuto pressed on, embracing everything Akaashi was with every fiber of himself—completely giving in. After a few moments longer, they finally separated and giggled as they finally took out their respective rings and slid it on their hands.

They laid down on the blanket atop petals and feathers, looking up at the stars and holding hands, each caressing their new ring and fiancé. They talked about honeymoons and joked about dresses.

As they cuddled under the starlight, Bokuto reached for Akaashi's cheek, turning his face to embrace their lips once again. When Akaashi opened wide letting his tongue explore more, he basked in the warmth. When it came to Akaashi, he always wanted more, and Akaashi indulged him.

His love for him burned; he ached for him. They stayed under the starlight surrounded by moonflowers and feathers, harmonized.

Next Chapter: Comforts

Iwaizumi, Kageyama, Tsukishima, Kuroo

Boom, did it—They're engaged! Now, I had a few things to say about this chapter.

Yes, this story will focus on what will feel like an overabundance of couples and character perspectives, so if anyone has trouble understanding or wants a more organized view of how the chapters are going to be constructed, please let me know. I'm willing to adjust and alter things if it's easier to the readers. Don't be shy.

Also, yes, there will be some people who have more than one pairing. How that all comes to light, you'll just have to be a bit more patient. But please don't ship-hate. That shit petty as hell.

So, please let me know what you guys thought of the chapter and the story so far.

Once again, thank you slave editor - perlaparrot

However, it is usually against her will so if anyone out there is willing to lend me their gifted editing skills, that'd be groovy. Till chapter 4!

~Comment-Review-Fav-Follow-Bookmark-Subscribe-Like~

-TheHiveinJune