Do I see a love triangle brewing?
The day passed by at an excruciatingly slow pace. Sebastian glanced up at the clock every few minutes, waiting for the precise minute when Ciel was supposed to arrive. He had said seven, it was 6:54. Part of Sebastian was excited at going to a party with Ciel, part of him was nervous, and part of him was terrified.
Terrified at the prospect of potentially interacting with someone. Potentially making a friend. Friends were a foreign concept to Sebastian. He had never had one before. Sure there had been a few people in his life, people he thought were significant, but had betrayed him. People tended to do that.
He also wondered about Ciel. Was the man just playing with him? Ciel was wealthy and popular, and lived in a whole different world. Sebastian was smart enough to know that people like Ciel didn't go around with people like him, regardless of how nice they appeared to be. So why was Ciel on his way here, right now, to hang out with him? Of course, there was a high probability that Ciel would not even show up. And then Sebastian would know that it was all some kind of cruel joke. He hoped that wasn't the case.
The phone rang. He jumped, startled that someone was actually calling. Sebastian had almost forgotten what a telephone ring tone even sounded like. He picked the phone up, fingers trembling slightly. "He-hello?" He said nervously. Calm down, Sebastian. It's a phone conversation. Just a phone conversation.
"Hey, Sebastian, it's Ciel. I'm on my way right now, sorry I'll probably be a bit late, Alois decided to start the party early. By the way, is this your house phone?"
Sebastian's heart started to beat faster. "Yes..." he said slowly.
"Oh, cool, yeah, I'll be there in a few minutes."
Static. Sebastian set the phone down, studying it for a second. Is there something wrong with a land line? He didn't own a mobile phone. What was the point when you didn't have anybody to talk to? He looked at the clock again. 7:01. He sighed. He said he would be late, Sebastian. So stop looking at the clock!
So Sebastian did what he was best at. He cleaned. His flat was already pristine, but no matter, as he spotted a wrinkle in the sofa. Sebastian quickly darted over to it, smoothing it over until the sofa was wrinkle-free. He took a pillow and fluffed it out, despite the pillow already being sufficiently fluffed. He rearranged the vase of flowers sitting on the coffee table, and straightened the blank picture frame on the wall. Then he stood by the door, one hand on the knob.
Footsteps outside the door. Sebastian quickly ran fingers through his hair and cleared his throat, coming up with several different conversations in his mind. There was a knock.
Sebastian flung the door open, making Ciel jerk backwards. He blushed. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."
Ciel waved it off. "It's fine, Sebastian. How long were you standing there?"
"Only a second," Sebastian lied.
"Are you ready to go?"
"I've never been to a party before, so I don't know. Do I look ready?"
Ciel laughed. "You look great, now come on, if I'm gone too long, Alois will probably burn the flat down."
Sebastian had never heard the expression. "He'll burn it down?" He said, completely serious.
Ciel laughed again, shaking his head. "No, it's an expression. Come on then, I'll teach you all about parties in the car."
Sebastian nodded and took one last look at his home and sighed, taking a deep breath. "I'm ready."
When they were in the car, Sebastian took another breath. I'm sitting less than two feet away from the most beautiful man in the world.
"Are you alright?" Ciel asked, starting the engine.
"Just a bit nervous," Sebastian replied.
"Sebastian, I'll be with you. I wouldn't have invited you if I thought you wouldn't feel comfortable. Maybe you'll make a friend or two."
That's what scares me. I don't know how to make friends. "Thank you, Ciel. Thank you for inviting me."
Ciel nodded, turning the volume up on the radio. S&M by Rihanna was playing. Ciel rolled his eyes. "Alois fucking plays this every day," he muttered.
Sebastian smiled slightly. "I've never heard it."
"Sebastian?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you ever go out? Have you ever had any friends, a girlfriend? A boyfriend? Anybody?" Ciel was looking straight ahead at the road, not noticing the expression on Sebastian's face.
Does he think I'm gay? He knows, doesn't he? He knows I have a crush on him. And he knows I don't have any friends, he's just trying to make a conversation. "I've never had anyone."
"My parents died when I was young," Ciel suddenly said, "But it wasn't really a big deal. I was too young to really understand what had happened. I was raised by my aunt, I always had Alois, and I was always surrounded by a lot of people who loved me. I want to say, 'I'm sorry, I know what it's like to not have anyone,' but I'd be lying. So instead, I'll tell you this: You're not alone anymore, Sebastian. I'm your friend now." Ciel briefly glanced at Sebastian, catching the single tear that dripped down Sebastian's face.
"Thank you," Sebastian said, quietly.
Ciel nodded, smiling. "Stop thanking me so much, it's weird."
"Sorry-"
"Don't say that all the time either." Ciel grinned.
Ciel drove the rest of the way in relative silence, except when he hummed or sang along to some track on the radio that Sebastian didn't know.
Sebastian watched Ciel out of the corner of his eye, content just to be looking at him. Content just to be sitting there next to him.
Ciel pulled onto the curb of his flat some time later, there were at least fourteen other cars parked around the street, and Sebastian could already hear loud music playing from inside the building. He got out of the car, following closely behind Ciel. There were various groups of people standing on the lawn, he guessed there would be a hundred more inside. "Where do they all come from?" He asked Ciel, following less than half a foot behind.
"Alois Trancy and I happen to have more connections than the Queen herself-"
"And we're much more attractive," Alois added, appearing from nowhere. "So this is Sebby." He put his hand out. "Ciel's told me all about you. How are you, Sebastian? Not too depressed today, I hope?"
Ciel shot Alois a dark look.
"I'm okay, today," Sebastian said. He didn't realize that Alois was mocking him. "How are you?"
Alois smirked. "You've got manners, Sebby. I like that." He winked and pranced away, diving for a cup of beer in a girl's hand.
Sebastian immediately wondered why Ciel was friends with Alois. They seemed like opposites, then again, so were Ciel and himself. But he knew enough about people to know that Alois seemed like a jerk. Ciel was too good for someone like that.
Ciel didn't say anything, leading Sebastian inside.
There were at least thirty people standing around in various positions and places. A very drunk man was making out with a very drunk woman. There was a group of people standing in the corner sharing a joint. Someone was singing an atrocious cover of Wonderwall by Oasis, and another was standing on the coffee table, apparently attempting a striptease. But they were too intoxicated for it to look even remotely sexy.
"So this is what parties are really like?" Sebastian asked, now standing right next to Ciel, inhaling a puff of smoke. The whole living room was hazy and the air was heavy. "This is supposed to be fun?"
Alois appeared again. "It's fun if you let it be," he breathed, the smell of alcohol on his breath.
"He's innocent," Ciel said, "Why don't you leave him alone, Alois?"
Alois laughed. "Hey Sebastian, have you ever been properly fucked?"
"You're drunk," Ciel mumbled.
"I'm talking to Sebby here. Have you ever had sex?"
Sebastian's face flushed.
"You don't have to answer him, Sebastian. He's a bitch."
Sebastian took a step away from Alois. "I've-I've never-"
"Hey, everyone! Mr. Michaelis here is a virgin! Why don't one of you lovely young ladies go show him a good time. Or do you prefer men? We've got some of those too."
"Shut up," Ciel said, anger entering his eyes. "Leave Sebastian alone. He's here to have fun, not to be mocked by an asshole like you."
Alois smirked. "Good little Ciel, playing at Mum." He spat the last word, eyes looking Ciel straight on.
Sebastian stepped away, strongly suspecting that parties weren't supposed to be like this.
"Just fuck off, Alois."
Alois snorted and took a swig from a bottle. "You won't be mad tomorrow, Ciel." He stumbled away, leaving Ciel alone.
Sebastian approached him. "Why are you friends with him?"
Ciel shook his head. "He's nicer when he's sober."
"Is he really? He seems like a jerk to me."
"You don't even know him, Sebastian! I'm sorry, I shouldn't raise my voice. But please, just stay out of it. Alois is complicated." Ciel took Sebastian's shoulder. "Do you want something to drink?"
Sebastian nodded and followed Ciel over to the kitchen counter. The music was particularly loud. Ciel handed Sebastian a can of beer. "You do drink, right?"
"No, actually."
Ciel sighed, "Of course you don't." He took the can back and placed it back into a cooler.
"Are you alright, Ciel?" Sebastian asked, noticing how tired Ciel looked.
Ciel laughed. "I was suppose to show you a good time. I'm sorry about Alois, but there's things you don't understand about him. I promise you he's a good guy, he really is. Just don't pay attention to him, okay?"
Sebastian was confused. I'm not the one making a big deal over Alois. Do you like him or something? Are you in love with your roommate? Not that it matters, men like you don't fall for men like me anyway... "It's fine, really, Ciel. I'm okay."
"No you aren't!" Ciel shouted. "You're miserable and depressed, and I'm just making it worse, aren't I? I'm making your life even worse."
"I'm okay, Ciel. Today, I'm okay. I might not be okay tomorrow, but today I am. I made a friend, didn't I? That's progress. You're my friend." Sebastian smiled, meaning every word he said. "I'm glad you're my friend."
Ciel stared at him for several seconds. He swore softly. "You're too nice, Sebastian. Too good. I'm not. I know I have friends, I know people love me, but I'm spoiled, arrogant, and selfish. I'm not the kind of person you want to be friends with."
"Then why did you invite me?" Sebastian said, heart starting to race.
"Because you're good. Because you're nice. And because it's about time I hung out with someone good."
Ciel drove Sebastian home an hour later.
They hadn't done very much. Ciel was moping about something,(Probably Alois) and Sebastian had no desire to drink or interact with anybody. He had tried wandering around the party a little bit, quietly observing other's actions, but all he really wanted was to just sit next to Ciel and stare into those wondrous blue eyes. He wanted so badly to lean over and kiss the man, tell him that Alois wasn't worth anything, tell him that he deserved better. Of course, that's assuming he's actually in love with Alois. I might be misinterpreting all of this. It wouldn't be surprising, seeing as I'm so clueless. He wondered if Ciel had ever truly felt any emotion even close to sadness.
"You're home," Ciel said, rubbing at his eyes.
Sebastian hadn't even realized it. He glanced at the clock by the dashboard. 12:34. "Do you want to come in? You seem tired." He knew it was hopeless as soon as he asked it.
Ciel shook his head. "I have to help Alois clean up, and wake the passed out people. There's probably a mess, I'm sorry, Sebastian. I'll make it up to you, okay? I'll stop by the book shop tomorrow. Good night, Sebastian."
Sebastian stepped out of the car, opening and closing it three times. He couldn't help it. He looked at Ciel, embarrassed. Apparently, Ciel didn't notice. Sebastian sighed, relieved. I need to take my medication more often, if I ever want him to think I'm normal. He waved at Ciel, walking towards his flat. Why do I have to have OCD along with everything else? Can't I just have a normal life? Can't I be happy? Don't I deserve that? But he was happy, at the moment. He had made a friend.
Ciel nodded at Sebastian once and drove off. Sebastian smiled to himself. I've made a friend. Maybe he's faking it, maybe he doesn't really care, but he's a friend to me, nevertheless. And that would be enough. It had to be.
But he was lying to himself and he knew it. Ciel Phantomhive was already causing him heartbreak. When has your heart not been broken, Sebastian?