Chapter Three
New York, to put it simply, was fucking cold. The snow wasn't all that bad, she was actually used to it growing up in Ohio, though it wasn't as heavy, but the wind was the absolute worst. She and Kurt often made it a point to stay indoors as often as possible during this time of year and she could not for the life of her understand why she was outside in this hellacious wind right now.
Oh right, she had a roommate who's boyfriend had finally started living with them and it was a constant love fest in her apartment. If Rachel Berry has a problem with the amount of obnoxious love going around, it is possible you've taken it too far.
So that's why she was walking down the sidewalk in the freezing cold, and biting winds. She loved Kurt and Blaine, but it became too much every so often, and she needed to escape it. School provided some sort of a respite but even still, it honestly just reminded her how lonely she was. After walking a little ways, she decided to stop at a small park and sit at one of the benches, hoping the trees would offer some sort of shield against the harsh weather.
There didn't appear to be any empty benches however, most of them having already been filled with couples holding on to one another, and occasionally kissing or just smiling lovingly at one another. Apparently the love of the season was not to be escaped anywhere she went today.
She finally approached a bench that only had one occupant, and a small elderly woman, bundled in what looked like a vast amount of layers of clothing and looking out at the frozen pond in front of her bench.
"Hello, may I sit with you?"
The woman looked up at her and smiled, "Of course dear. I certainly won't be taking up the whole thing myself."
She shuffled over slightly so that she and Rachel could both sit comfortably on the bench together, and and Rachel sat down and looked out towards the pond as well.
"It really is very beautiful at this time of year isn't it?" she said, turning her head to look at the older woman.
"Ah, that it is. This time of year is one of the things that's kept me from leaving the city after all of these years."
"Really?" she said, laughing a little, "It's one of the things that makes me want to leave. However, I would only be returning home to my dads in Ohio so it is not much better there I would have to say."
"Oh goodness dear, but it's the most beautiful time of the year. You can barely keep me in the house. The smell of winter in the air, the snow falling, the lights, and the scent of Christmas trees. I even enjoy seeing the couples everywhere. Reminds me that love is still the most beautiful thing to behold, no matter what season it is."
Rachel nodded her head, turning away, but remained silent.
"Well it's not very often that mention of love silences someone completely. I might be a stranger you just met at a park bench, but if you need someone to lend a listening ear, mine is right here if you'd like. I'm Alice." She smiled at her again, and stuck out her gloved hand for Rachel to take.
The brunette smiled widely back at her, and held tightly to her hand as she shook it, "I'm Rachel Berry. It's very nice to meet you Alice."
"Well tell me then, Rachel Berry. Why so quiet on the love front?"
She took a few moments to respond to the question, before sighing and hanging her head slightly, "I'm not really sure actually. I love my life here in New York, don't get me wrong. I love going to school, and I love my roommate. He's my best friend. He knows me better than almost anyone. I have a more than a small group of friends now, and I've finally found where I am truly comfortable in terms of how I dress, but sometimes I don't know if I'm really happy. I think I might be lonely. I don't remember what it was like to be in love anymore, or to be loved by someone. So when people talk about love, I suppose I've just been clamming up."
"A gorgeous girl like you, and no handsome young man in your life?"
She chuckled lightly, and shook her head, "No. No handsome young man in my life."
Alice tilted her head curiously to the side for a second, looking at her, then straightened up and a knowing grin spread across her face, "So no beautiful young lady in your life either than?"
Rachel knew her eyes must have widened to a comical size because Alice threw her head back and laughed a very boisterous laugh, and patted her hand gently on Rachel's thigh.
"Oh dear, don't worry. When you get to be my age, you see things, and you learn things. So tell me, is there not a young lady in your life?"
"No... Not really. There was-at one time. Sort of. She's gone now though. I have dated since I've been here, two years now, but no one has really stuck you know?"
"Well are you waiting on the girl? The one from before?"
"What? No. Absolutely not. It was made very clear that there was nothing between us. That there would never be anything between us. We haven't even spoken in over two years," she felt her heart seize as she allowed herself a rare moment of thinking of flowing blonde hair and intense hazel eyes and shook her head to clear the memory away, "I haven't found anyone that makes me feel special, Alice. The people I seem to date, are too absorbed in themselves or don't have the same interests, or there just is no spark. I have burnt out on the dating scene. I want it, but at the same time, I don't."
"Well, I think we've found your problem then dear. Tell me, what are you most passionate about?"
She doesn't even hesitate for a second and her face breaks out into a wide smile, "Musical theater. I want to be on Broadway one day. I love to sing, and it's my dream. I love doing it, I always have."
"There. Right there. You should have seen your face light up as soon as the first syllable left your mouth. It was almost as if you were talking about a lover. That's passion dear. You need to be as passionate about the person you're with, if not more so, as you are with singing and Broadway. If you aren't, it won't ever work out. I'm not saying it isn't hard though sometimes, finding passion like that in a city like this."
Rachel sat silently, thinking about what Alice had said. She needed passion. Of course, objectively she knew that, but it hadn't occurred to her until now that she had been lacking it in all of her relationships since she had started college in New York. No one had made her feel the way...the way she felt during high school.
"Did you ever find it Alice?" she asked after a few minutes of silence, "Passion, I mean."
"Oh yes my dear. I found it. It was magnificent too. My husband and I were married for, oh, 57 years."
"Wow. That's amazing. Rare to hear these days as well."
"Yes, well, Tom was rare. He was the most amazing man. I remember very clearly the very first time I met him," she laughed lightly at the memory, "I completely and totally, hated him."
Both of the women started laughing at the comment, and didn't stop for nearly a full five minutes. Rachel, because it was said in the most loving way she had ever heard, and Alice because she couldn't help but laugh at the memory of her initial feelings for her husband. When they finally stopped, Alice continued telling her story.
"We were seven years old at the time, so mind you, when he pulled on my hair I believed he was just a foolish, silly boy," she chuckled again, "It wasn't until I had turned 14 years old, and he had become slightly more mature, though not by much, and was actually a very handsome young man, that I even began to think about seeing him as anything more than that little boy who had pulled my hair on the playground."
"Would you say he was the handsomest boy around, Alice?" Rachel asked smiling at her, enjoying hearing the story of Alice and her husband.
"Oh my goodness dear, he was beautiful. Of course, I never would have told him that. He had the most wonderfully warm, deep brown eyes, and full chestnut colored hair. He was taller than most of the boys in our grade, and he was strong too, he worked at one of the factories with his father during that time. The first time he asked me out on a date, I told him 'Tom Spencer, there is a snowballs chance in you know where of me ever agreeing to a date with the likes of you.' I had to give him credit though, because he was the most persistent boy around. He brought me flowers, walked me to school, was polite, and carried my books around for me, then walked me home. Telling him no got very difficult, and it only took him another month to get me to agree to a date with him."
Alice had become lost in her memories, staring off at the pond as she told her story. Rachel couldn't help but admire the look of love passing across her face as she told the story. She pictured a tall, sturdy young man, doing his best to win the affections of a girl he seemed to have liked for so very long. She hadn't noticed how dark it had become until Alice abruptly stopped her story.
"Oh dear, it is getting late. I don't believe I'll be able to finish this story today. I'm afraid it goes on and on."
Oh no Alice, you have to finish! I have to know how he finally got you to agree. No offense, but you seem pretty stubborn." She said laughing. Alice was laughing too, nodding her head.
"Well, I won't disagree with that my dear. I'll tell you what, meet me here tomorrow, same time and same place, and I'll give you a new part of the story, and you can give me a part of the story of your young lady, now now, don't give me any back talk, it's only fair," she finished, holding her hand up when she noticed Rachel beginning to protest her. She winked at her, and Rachel knew there was no way of getting out of that one.
"Okay, but I am glad to know that we'll be playing dirty from here on out." She said, smiling at Alice.
Alice laughed that loud, boisterous laugh at her, making some of the couples jump around them, "Honey, at this age, you do what you can, to get what you want."
The two of them got up off the bench, stretching a little bit, and started walking back towards the sidewalk. As they were moving across the park, Rachel realized she still wasn't entirely ready to go back to her apartment yet.
"May I walk you home Alice? I promise I won't try any funny business, like sneaking some more story out of you." She asked, grinning and winking at the older woman, who now that she was standing wasn't much taller than herself.
Alice laughed at Rachel's joke, "I suppose it couldn't hurt to have some company on my walk back home dear."
As it turned out, Alice didn't live very far from the park, and so after she bid her goodbye at her stoop, Rachel decided she would continue walking, instead of hailing a cab. By the time she had arrived back to hers, Kurt's, and Blaine's shared apartment, it was very dark out, and she was completely exhausted. She wanted nothing more than to go take a long bath, and then head to bed. As she turned the lock, and stepped inside though, a very angry and frenzied looking Kurt told her that this plan was not going to be executed easily.
"Where on earth have you been Rachel?"
He looked like he'd been going slightly crazy in her absence and when she looked at the clock on their tv, she realized she had been gone for a little over four hours.
"Oh my God, Kurt, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize how long I had been out. I would have called had I noticed the time."
"Well actually, Rachel, that would have been impossible seeing as how you left your phone here at the apartment," his anger seemed to have deflated quite a bit at her immediate apology, "Just, next time, make sure you don't forget your phone, and don't stay out so late, and for so long. You know how I get..."
He trailed off, and she smiled at him, wrapping her arms around him in a big hug, that he immediately returned. She knew his anger was just masking his worry for her. He was always telling her to be careful, and she was always forgetting her phone, which just caused him to worry more. He loved her though, and she thought it was sweet how much he cared for her.
Blaine was walking out of the kitchen and saw the two of them hugging, "Oh thank God you're back. I'm pretty sure Kurt was about to have the police out looking for you if you hadn't come back within the next half hour."
Blaine and Rachel both started laughing, both at the joke, and Kurt's affronted look, but they all went back into the kitchen to eat the meal Blaine had cooked for them all. As they sat around their table eating Kurt started talking about some birthday party that was being thrown for a friend at a bar that weekend.
"We have to go Rachel. It's Evan's 21st. He'll be so disappointed if you don't show up. Besides, you know he has a massive and blatant crush on you."
Rachel rolled her eyes, "I know he does Kurt, which is why it's mean to go to his birthday, even though he knows I have no intentions of ever dating him. I would like to enjoy a night with my friends as much as anyone, but do you remember the last time we were at a party where Evan got drunk?"
Kurt cringed at the mention of that party. It had started as a simple house party for friends, and when Evan showed up and saw Rachel, he had gotten incredibly trashed, and proceeded to declare his love for the brunette. On a stage. In front of everyone. When all Rachel had done was stand in shock, staring at him with wide eyes, and blushing furiously, he attempted to jump off the makeshift stage, and ended up nosediving, and they were in the ER with him for three hours. Evan was one of their good friends at school, and as much as she didn't want to miss his birthday, she feared things would get too awkward. She had made it very clear to him on various occasions that she was most definitely not interested in him at all, but he had not seemed to take the point.
"I don't know Rach. I was in class with Erin today and she said he was bringing a date to the party," said Blaine "Maybe he's finally getting over you."
"You see Rachel. Evan is getting over you. So you can stop being a homebody, and come out with your two favorite gay men, and get drunk, and enjoy your evening."
"I suppose there is no way to get you to let this go, Kurt?"
"Absolutely not. So I will help you pick out your outfit, and maybe you'll meet someone you actually want to be with this time."
She knew there was no point in arguing with him so she just let him have his way, and agreed to be home as early as possible on Friday so he could dress her as he saw fit. She was constantly making the joke that he was her own personal stylist, and he never argued. She didn't mind, as Kurt managed to help her keep her own style, and also look more mature, and grown up.
"I met an elderly woman at the park today. She was telling me about her husband, and how they met. It was really nice. I'm going back tomorrow to get some more of the story." Rachel decided a change of subject was for the best.
"Oh really? What was her name?" Blaine was looking genuinely interested now that the conversation had switched from Kurt raiding Rachel's wardrobe and the party.
"Her name was Alice. She was very sweet, and I can't wait to hear the rest of the story. She and her husband were married for 57 years."
"Wow. That's really impressive," Blaine smiled and reached for Kurt's hand, "Maybe one day we can talk about how we met and were married for 57 years."
"That implies I will be admitting to being over the age of 45 Blaine, but yes, it will be lovely."
The three of them laughed, and continued eating, and talking about marriage, and the party. Rachel decided that maybe this party would be a fun idea after all. She hadn't seen some of her friends in awhile, and hadn't been outside in even longer. A party would do her good.
Maybe she would be able to find that passion that Alice was talking about.