Being Spider-Man isn't easy. I have to hide my costume under my clothes because I don't want to spend 10 minutes trying to put all of the pieces in place and let the bad guy get away. I've ran away in the streets to change into my alter-ego while everyone around me thinks I'm a coward. Sacrifices are tough. The greater good is always in my mind but my personal image always seems to battle with it as well. I'd much rather be the hero as Peter Parker. Then, everyone would finally understand and I wouldn't be treated like the doorstep I am at Midtown. Dual identities are a painful thing to deal with. That I know for sure. You are always torn between your sworn duties and living a normal life. Recently, I've thought about giving up the whole thing. Sure it was fun. I know the city like the back of my hand now, I've saved lives and given people hope, and honestly, being Spider-Man has made me a better person.
When you think about it, why should there be a Spider-Man when there's a Captain America saving the world with S.H.I.E.L.D., Tony Stark is zooming around and showing off in his scientific masterpiece called Iron Man, and a literal god who can bring down lightning strikes with a hammer? What could a nerdy kid from Queens possibly add to help the world on a larger scale. I can't fly, I'm only 16, and I have nowhere near the strength of someone like the Hulk. And have you heard about the X-Men? That school for 'gifted students' out in North Salem? Not a lot of people do but I've been sneaking around there sometimes. All I have to say is that there's more of us out there. Anyhow, there's not really a need for someone like me when you think about it. But, soon after I have my own little pity party, I remember all the people I've helped. The people that Iron Man or Thor wouldn't be able to get to. They are here to save the world. I'm here to save this city and this city alone.
"What's the big deal about this party? Hm? Someone getting married there or something?" I ask Eddie as we eat our lunches. Meatloaf. Or Looks-Like-Meat-Loaf.
"No. I just want you to live, bro." Eddie laughs, wiping some of the extra sauce on a napkin and balling it up, tossing it at Gwen's shoulder.
My eye twitches and jealousy enters my brain like a flamethrower through my ear. I stop the twitching and continue eating, fighting against every atom of my body to take Gwen and sweep her off her feet. She looks at Eddie and sticks her tongue at him, flicking the messy napkin back at him, the paper harmlessly landed in his half-eaten mashed potatoes.
"I do live. I don't need to get wasted to see life." I say.
"It's not about the drinking. It's about being with actual human beings and interacting. Just socializing, you know?"
"I don't know. Those partiers aren't my kind of people to socialize with." I reply.
"It's not even about that, Pete. We... we just want you to enjoy life because once we're out of high school, the real world's gonna hit us. It's gonna hit us like-." Eddie says.
Like an eighteen wheeler crash I saved three people in? I say to myself.
"An electric shock. You need to live a little. I mean that." he continues, putting a hand on my shoulder.
I shake my head and chomp down on the meatloaf. Could use a little bit more ketchup. And actual meat. My eyes meet Gwen's and she goes bright-eyed, her wonderful color shining through her hipster glasses. I give her a small smile and return to my tray. The rest of lunch is silent.
Gwen slaps my leg as I stare out the bus window. I turn to her and return from my daydream about helping fix a world problem that I could use my skills in science to help with. I look at her and adjust my glasses as her hand remains on my knee.
"What's up?" I ask her.
"So," she says, her voice trailing off and her mouth making a small 'O' shape.
I know what she's about to do. And I have to say no.
"Homecoming is in a month. You know that, right?" she says.
"Mhm." I mutter, returning to my gaze of Manhattan.
She breathes deeply. I don't let her see it but I give a small smile and feel my heart begin to pound. I've been waiting for this moment forever now. I can't commit to something like a stupid dance when I have a duty but it would be nice to hear her say the words. We are good friends. Maybe she knows I want to be more. I don't know, though. Women are a mystery.
"I was thinking of asking someone and I don't know how you'd feel. If we went, it'd just be as friends. You don't need to worry about anything happening." Gwen tells me.
I turn back to her and realize just how close we are together in the seat. We hit the bump on the ramp to the Queensboro Bridge and my glasses bounce onto the floor. They're fake, by the way. When the spider bite happened, it altered my body chemistry and the way my body processed my weaknesses. No longer was I a hypoglycemic and blind nerd from Queens. I became a teenager with the strength and metabolism ten times greater than the best Olympic athlete and my eyesight became better than 20/20. But, in order to completely distance myself from everything about Spider-Man, I decided to get fake glasses to keep up the charade.
I quickly pick them up before she can feel the weight difference of the plastic frame and place the spectacles back on my head. She laughs slightly and stops speaking, taking a moment to look at the ceiling before looking at me with those cute eyes that drive me crazy every second of the day. I give a small smile and nudge her in the arm.
"Come on, don't be secretive." I say.
She shakes her head and gives a big smile.
"I'm going to ask Eddie!"
I'm going to kill him.