"He can run faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo." – Fred Weasley, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
"I'll go and find you something to wear," Natasha said as they walked towards the lab, Hermione walking slowly and watching her feet, although she waved off any help the boys tried to offer her. "Can magic heal you?"
"Generally speaking, it should," Hermione hissed, wincing a little and waving off Steve once more, "Unless they used something laced with dark magic on me, I should be fine in an hour or two."
"Is it like a spell or something, or do we need to go and get it?" Clint asked.
"Spells should work, although if push comes to shove I can use Muggle remedies."
"Right, those Muggles," Clint said uncertainly, sharing a glance with Steve, who shrugged back at him. Natasha nodded and went to where her room was located to find her something to wear.
"If I may ask, why do you continue to harm yourself by walking when you could you're your injuries now?" Thor asked curiously.
She winced, "Ahh, because I lost my wand."
"Ohh," Clint winced too, "And I blew up the thing…wow. Sorry."
"Ehh," she shrugged back, "I could write to Ollivander, he might be able to either make me a new one or I'll be able to go down there and find one."
"Okay," Clint shrugged, still not understanding all of the terms she used.
"I'm sorry," she smiled up at them, "Muggles are non-magical people. Ollivander is the wand maker. Anything else I said that could be confusing?"
"We'll let you know if there are," Clint grinned.
She nodded back before hissing and nearly face-planting into the ground, but Steve caught her before she could fall. She winced and grabbed the wall, sliding down it as the three hovered over her worriedly. "Merlin's beard, that hurt."
"Is that like 'holy shit'?" Clint asked.
"In a sense," she tried to smile and let out a huff of air. "How's about somebody just goes and gets Harry for me? Or his wand, I might be able to do this. I'll just wait here."
"I'll do it – be right back," Clint said before jogging down the hall, leaving Steve to slide down next to her, looking over the cuts and bruises on her face.
"Yes, Captain Rogers, I know I look beat up," she smiled, making him wince and blink at her, "But I'm fine. I think."
"How badly did those men hurt you?" Thor questioned.
She sighed and leaned her head against the wall, shutting her eyes with a frown, "They've hit me, kicked me, tried to rape me…."
There was a heavy silence before Steve asked her, "How badly did you hurt them?"
She smiled at him, "I've hit them, kicked them, bitten them…Great workout, that."
Steve chuckled as Harry and Clint ran up to her, Bruce, Tony and Darcy walking along as well as Natasha brought along some clothes.
"Hermione!" Harry said happily, kneeling in front of her and hugging her.
"Harry, you're alright," she muffled into his shirt, making him blink and pull back to look at her.
"I'm alright?" he arched an eyebrow at her, "You were kidnapped and tortured and you've been wondering whether I was alright or not?"
She shrugged, smiling at him, "Old habits die hard."
He snorted and shook his head at her, offering his wand, "You're barmy."
"Only because I had an overexposure to you as we grew up," she sighed as she stretched out a leg and healed the cuts and bruises there, "To think, if I hadn't had met you I'd be relatively normal by now."
"I like how you said 'relatively,' because you'll never be completely normal," he grinned at her as she shot him a frown before turning to work on the other leg.
Steve stood, smirking at Tony, "You didn't see the door?"
"It was in a shadow!" Tony exclaimed.
"You didn't see the door?" Darcy blinked at him.
"The cameras aren't in the best angle to see it, okay?" he huffed.
"Right, but you still didn't see it," Clint teased as he turned and glared at him.
"Hermione, when you're ready, I can show you where to get changed," Natasha interrupted with a glare at the three.
"Hermione…" Bruce began, looking at her curiously, "Hermione Granger?"
"Yes?" she looked up at him and blinked.
"What's…your middle name?"
"Jean," she answered slowly.
Bruce gaped and pointed at her, "You! You're 'H. J. Granger!' You wrote 'Time and Other Wibbly-Wobbly Things'!"
"I am a Doctor Who fan, yes," she arched an eyebrow at him and grinned, "Why?"
"You're a – well…" he faltered before ruffling up his hair, "You're a woman."
"Took Ron four years to figure that out," she muttered before nodding as she set to work on her arms, "Yes, I'm a woman. Many people can't pronounce 'Hermione,' so I just used my initials. I actually was invited to a party for successful men."
"Yeah, I know, I was there – I was wondering who the woman was and I just realized you look really familiar!"
"Oh – well hello again!" she smiled, handing Harry his wand back and taking a deep breath to get ready to stand when Steve offered her his hand. She released the breath and smiled at him, letting him help her stand. She let go of his hand and looked down at her feet, waiting for something to flare up in pain. When nothing did, she raised her head and smiled at him.
"Thank you," she said before turning to Natasha, "You mentioned something about actual clothing?"
"Well, more like yoga pants and a shirt, but it covers more than that," she smirked, Hermione chuckling and nodding and following her down the hall.
"Okay, so is everybody really science-y here, or is that just a majority of the people?" Darcy asked Thor, who chuckled and ruffled up her hair.
"I think it's just me and Harry, unless you end up having a Ph.D. in something," Steve shrugged at him.
"The only reason I passed school was because of Hermione," Harry laughed.
"STARK! BANNER! GET YOUR ASSES IN HERE!" Fury roared, making the group jump and look at each other before creeping along behind Tony and Bruce.
"Ahh, yes, Director Fury?" Bruce asked, rubbing the back of his neck guiltily as Tony rocked back and forth on his heels.
"Care to explain to me why you've been doing unauthorized work?" he asked.
"Well it takes so long to get authorized, and she needed help," Tony shrugged.
"That is beside the point – you sent out agents without authorization – do you know how much trouble we're gonna be in if the Council finds out?"
"There's a guy out there who wants revenge from Harry, Hermione and you, Director," Steve spoke up, "Maybe this isn't one for the Council to know about?"
"Yeah, this can be like…volunteer work," Tony grinned, "This can be your hobby, as well as ours. Solving mysteries and crimes – we'll be like Nancy Drew."
"I remember those," Steve blinked, "Are they still around?"
"More or less – but that's beside the point," Bruce coughed as Fury began to frown at them, "Point is, we're doing good, just…under the Council's radar. Surely if what we're doing meets your requirements on safety and procedure, that can compensate for the lack of paperwork?"
"And we know how much you hate paperwork," Tony grinned, still rocking on his heels.
Fury looked between them for a long, silent moment before he arched an eyebrow, "Why do you feel compelled to help them so much? You barely know them."
They blinked and realized they couldn't find an answer to that. Clint shrugged and stepped out, ruffling up his hair.
"She was taken, she was scared, she needed help," he answered, "We had to. We would've felt responsible if we just left her there."
"It is weird, though," Bruce muttered, "Before we fought Loki, we wouldn't work together, after it, we still knew the same amount of each other as before, we were just…closer. Going through hard things together and pulling through just gets you closer to people."
"I barely know any of you," Harry shrugged, "But we're…close-ish. It's weird – it was like that for us in the war, too."
"Trust is a very peculiar thing," Hermione stated from the doorway, startling the others as they turned around towards her, watching her walk slowly around them. "When actors go to work, they have to trust the others to help them make the show great. They build bonds and get closer. But you guys – you trust each other to have your back, to make sure you're safe, to make sure you get out alive. Trust is actually very brilliant." She stood in front of Director Fury and smiled, offering her hand. "Hello, I'm Hermione Granger, I wanted to thank you and your team for saving me."
He gave a smile and shook her hand, "No problem. How are you feeling?"
"Sore, but it's not like I haven't dealt with it before," she shrugged.
Harry snorted softly, trying to hide his grin at his friend. She looked ready for bed, in a t-shirt and yoga pants, her feet still bare with her toes wiggling along the floor, her hair flying about everywhere, although she still made a point to thank the scariest looking man in the room for saving her life.
"So – you're some scientist?" Tony questioned, beginning to circle her, surveying her with his chin in his hand.
"No, I write about my theories and publish them," she corrected, folding her hands behind her back and allowing him to continue his inspection. "For some reason they make sense to other people."
"So what do you really do?" Bruce asked, arching an eyebrow at her.
"I write, and when I'm not writing, I'm selling books in my bookshop," she answered with a smile, "It keeps me busy. I hate letting my mind wander."
"Ever written any fiction books?" Tony asked, "I bet you wrote something about all that you've been through in the magical world, right?"
She gave a laugh, "I have written fiction, still am, actually, but not anything about our world. I'd get in quite a lot of trouble if I did."
"If you don't mind me asking, you said something about a war?" Steve spoke up, making her turn her gaze on him and tilt her head, blinking politely at him. "How old were you again?"
"Seventeen," she said with a soft sigh, although she managed a smile, "You were in the second World War, correct? Or did I get my facts wrong?"
He repressed a blush, but gave a sheepish grin anyway, "Ahh, yes, ma'am. Nazis, Schmidt – I punched out Hitler a few hundred times."
She laughed, grinning at him, "Not a lot of people can say that and be completely honest."
He shrugged, not finding anything else to say, and instead smiled at her.
"Umm, this is a nice conversation and everything, but I have a question," Natasha interrupted.
"Yes, like how do we find the man who requests revenge from both Fury and Potter?" Thor asked.
"Oh, good question, but that wasn't what I was going to ask," Natasha blinked.
"What were you going to ask, then?" Clint asked.
"Where are we stuffing Darcy, Hermione, and Harry?" she shrugged, "We can't really send them back home – Roshbovine knows where Hermione lives, probably knows how to get Harry and saw Darcy before on the screen. They won't be safe if we shove them out onto the street."
"Natasha, how do you feel about roommates?" Tony asked with a grin.
She narrowed her eyes, "It can be managed if that's the case."
"Oh just point me to a corner – I'll sleep anywhere, I'm fine," Hermione waved away any worries.
"Actually, do you have a few supply closets or something that you don't need?" Harry asked Fury.
"You – you want to sleep in a closet?" Bruce blinked.
"Again?" Hermione teased, making Harry dully swat out at her hair.
"I can use magic to put bedrooms in them," he explained.
"I'm confused on the 'again,'" Clint muttered to Hermione, who promised to tell him later.
"Man, I feel sorry for the janitors," Darcy said, following Harry and Fury out of the room, "Open the door, expecting a few brooms and stuff, but nope! That's traumatizing."
"But it's S.H.I.E.L.D," Natasha shrugged, making her laugh.
I forget how many times Steve punched Hitler and Google wouldn't give me a straight answer. And I think he'd call Hermione "ma'am" as many times as she'd let him get away with it. Which shouldn't be too long until she insists that he stop.
Chapters four, five, six and seven are under construction as of right now. I'm tired and don't feel like mentally screaming, so sorry. (I should really get a picture and fix whatever chapter I'm working on so you'll know what's fixed and what's not. Okay great, I'll go do that.)