THE BANK
Amidst chortling laughter after imagining their dear dead friend undergoing something so seemingly exaggerated, for normal people, Ricky, laughing a little more himself, continued, "But then there was the time, after getting our first paychecks, when we took them to a downtown Atlanta bank not far from the Hyatt Regency to cash…"
Still dressed in his maroon-colored Bushelp, i.e. Busboy, uniform coat with black clip-on bow tie on not-so-white shirt, one collar flipped up while the other stayed down, somehow making that too-visible Adam's Apple all the more comical. While Ricky had thought to take off his uniform coat and untied his real tie, Doug followed closely behind Ricky as both walked through immaculately elegant revolving doors at the main entrance of a multi-story bank building in the heart of downtown Atlanta.
After cashing their meager paychecks, which actually caused the tellers to half-stifle amused smirks, Doug made matters even more comical by attempting to "hit" on the incredibly beautiful young lady teller in a fashion similar to a geek attempted to get with the goddess.
"Yeah…I'm really pretty rich…I only do this to see how the poor people live," said Doug Burger with more than a little stupidity to tone and facial expression, never once stopping to think how those who stayed in the downtown Hyatt Regency were far from poor. "Maybe we can…"
"I'm having my appendix removed for the next month," swiftly lied a nearly laughing lovely teller at the highly unlikely concept that such as she would ever go out with a "busboy"…let alone one who looked like some impossibly perfect physical example of a nerd. Or worse.
Not getting that the beauteous teller was blatantly blowing him off, Doug, a too-toothy grin on his longish, hawk-nosed, hair-hanging clownish countenance, turned, almost tripping over his own two feet, then proceeded to trot up behind Ricky even as he had stepped into one of the single-person segments of a graceful revolving door.
Strangely, it suddenly seemed to be stuck.
"What the…?"
Attempting to dislodge whatever was hampering the revolving door, Ricky began to forcefully thrust it forward by the gleaming bar whereupon his hands were pressing ever-harder, until, finally, after hearing someone grunting with each and every forceful forward thrust…
"Burger! What the hell're you doin' in the same slot? You're supposed to be in the one behind me!"
Already embarrassed beyond belief, a comical look of self-loathing on his naturally awkward face, all Doug could tensely whisper was, "Shut up, Dills, just keep going so we can get the hell outta here."
Literally baby-stepping in unison, like some attached-at-the-waist set of sideshow freaks, the two proceeded to gradually inch their way out even as, in their ridiculed wake, every single teller in the bank were nearly rolling with boisterous belly-laughter. Tears in their collective eyes.
Even the few customers who'd come in shortly after this dynamic dunce duo, or so it seemed from their point-of-view, burst out in side-splitting laughter.
Needless to say, neither Ricky nor Doug ever visited that bank again.
In fact, to this day there were rumors that the recordings made by bank lobby surveillance cameras were not only retained, but were still shown at parties attended by tellers and their friends.
The laughter was gradually growing in intensity, even as Ricky Dills, wiping away errant tears brought forth by too much remembered amusement, continued, "But that's not all. One time, when Doug was trying to outrun me to catch the midtown bus…"
END OF PART THREE