So I got a few really lovely reviews, especially that novel from the anon! Thankyou for saying such kind words and sharing your thoughts, they are always welcome. And for anyone who has read the first 2 chapters, feel free to drop a review letting me know what your thinking because I love it when readers interact. It makes my day actually! In regards to this chapter, I think you'll be happy with it. Or I hope. It gives the storyline and characters a bit more depth. Also you may have noticed the underlying theme of love throughout my writing so far. I do intend to continue bringing attention to it every chance I get because love isn't just black and white, its all shades of grey. Brittany of all people, in her simple way, understands this notion better than most! Also, there is a song mentioned within in this chapter, for reading and listening purposes I will post a link. I think it's one of those old songs that everyone knows but for whatever reason has been forgotten over time. I've only just rediscovered it myself so hopefully you will too! Chels xo
.com/watch?v=9doqLZdSQfQ&ob=av2e
Chapter 3. Love Is What You Make It
I woke up the next morning to Lord Tubbington scratching at my bed post. I leaned forward to see why he was making such a ruckus when I lost balance and fell out of bed. Hitting the floor with a loud thud, I watched as Lord Tubbington slinked up to me and began mooching. I tried to ignore him because I wasn't happy with him. He had woken me up half an hour earlier than I had to get up, and he had done another poop.
"Lord Tubbington" I sulked as I stood up and rubbed my shoulder. I'd really landed on it hard and now it was throbbing in pain. I lazily trudged into the bathroom and got some toilet paper, cleaning Lord Tubbington's protest from the carpet before flopping back onto my bed.
Thanks to silly Lord Tubbington I had a whole 2 hours to get ready for work. I usually only ever needed 1 at the most, but like Rachel had suggested, I set my alarm earlier. I decided I might as well just get ready early and meet Will when he usually got to work. He wouldn't mind if I hung out with him. I kind of liked just chilling with Mr. Schue, although he did have a tendency to sing show tunes and then Rachel would arrive promptly on time, and they'd both sing. They were good so I didn't really mind but it kind of got annoying sometimes.
I organized an outfit to wear into work today. Something not too casual yet not too fancy. I didn't want my new workmates to think I actually cared about what they thought of me. Even though I kind of did. After yesterday they'd probably think what they wanted of me, but that still didn't mean I didn't want to impress them. I wanted them to like me just as much as I had the ability to like them. I love people, and if given the chance, I could love each and every single person I met. When I thought about loving people that I'd just met, my mind instantly flickered to Santana. I could definitely see myself falling in love with her. I mean, I could see myself loving her. She seems like somebody that could be lovable once you got to know them. And even if she wasn't directly lovable, she seemed like somebody who definitely needed to be loved. I was willing to help out in that department.
I took a quick look in the mirror before I raced downstairs to eat some breakfast. Mum was still in bed and Dad was already on his way to work. It was really quiet in the house so I just poured myself a bowl of cereal and sat down. Sometimes I did this thing where I'd crunch my mouthfuls loudly just so it wouldn't be completely silent, but today I didn't bother. I rinsed the empty bowl under the tap and rested it on the sink before grabbing my belongings and walking out the door. I was going to be at work so early but somehow I couldn't bring myself to care. I figured it was probably because my tummy was filled up with all these feelings that I hadn't kept track of. Now I was nervous, and excited, plus I had just eaten breakfast so there was a lot in there. I think my tummy was so full I was now feeling a little sick from it.
Hopping in the car carefully as to not upset my stomach any further, I turned the key in the ignition and began to drive to work. I wondered what would happen at work today. I bet within the first 2 hours Rachel would say something and one of the many girls I'd seen working there yesterday would probably threaten to kick her butt. Even though I saw a lot of good in Santana, I could also see her getting really mad at Rachel. So mad that she'd threaten her with physical violence. I could also see Mercedes getting irritated with her, but she'd probably just walk away rather than cause conflict. While I was thinking about what would happen throughout the course of the day, my mind wandered to Finn. I could definitely imagine that guy with the Mohawk making some rude comments. He seemed like a really rude and obnoxious trouble maker. I actually used to know guys like him in high school. The kind that act really rebellious but would never even dream of breaking a single law. I thought he was all talk personally. I wasn't impressed in the least and I didn't find him charming at all.
Flicking through the radio stations, I stopped when I heard an old 90's song playing. I could never remember what it was called, so that meant I couldn't download it but I really liked it. I liked singing along to songs, particularly this song, it made me feel happy and a part of something. The whole song was about learning to love yourself more than letting others hate dictate your love. I missed songs like that. I had to admit sometimes I enjoyed the drive to and from work more than I did my actual job. But that was only ever on really bad days. Driving was fun and because I had so much room in the front of my car, I could easily sing and dance along to the songs that would play without risk of getting into a car accident. I was actually a good driver, and really responsible on the road. I just had trouble parking.
Pulling into the employee car park at Sue's Super Store, I could see that there were construction men already working hurriedly to rename the store before it opened. As I watched I took my eye of the road for a split second, only to hear a bang that really didn't sound all that good. Immediately I took my foot off the pedal and saw that I'd ran into a pole. Thank lord I hadn't been going that fast. I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw that the coast was clear to reverse. Carefully I placed my foot on the pedal and looked back, braking almost as fast as I'd started moving backward. The car jerked and halted as I watched Santana raise an eyebrow in my direction. I don't think she could see who was driving the car because she raised her middle finger and waved it in the air.
"Fucking idiot" she cursed in my direction. I sighed and waited for her to move before reversing and turning into a proper park. "This is an employee car park moron?" she shouted angrily. I could only hear her because I liked driving with my windows down a crack. It let fresh air in and made for a more comfortable car ride. I bet she had no clue who was driving the car because she kept cursing at me like I was a complete stranger. I guess I was a complete stranger to her but I knew she'd be shocked when it was me that stepped out of the car, not some complete and total stranger. I turned off the engine but not the car. I wanted to listen to the rest of this song. I should probably be writing down some lyrics so that I could remember to download it later on. That way I wouldn't have to wait for them to play it on the radio again.
"I think I love this woman's way" I sung carelessly as I reached across the passenger seat to grab my work bag "I think I love this woman" a knock sounded on my window as the song entered its chorus. I glanced to my side and found myself face to face with a curious Santana. Immediately I clicked on the electronic window button, and watched it close quickly. My cheeks were burning bright red, I could feel them like I could yesterday. I was blushing, and I didn't know what I was thinking by winding up my window. It wasn't like that was going to make her go away. I tried to calm myself down but I just ended up biting my lip. I chanced a glance in her direction but found her still staring at me. Even more intrigued than she had been before, if that was possible. I ran a shaking hand through my hair before watching her take a step back, allowing me room to get out of my car. I did so as quickly as possibly and averted my gaze instantly.
"You make a habit of trying to reverse over employees?" she asked me. I looked up at her, shocked at the accusation before swiftly shaking my head. "Its not that I mind if you do" I bet she could see that I was a nervous wreck. Damn it Brittany, pull yourself together. "I kind of like the idea of being run over by you," my head snapped up, totally not expecting that response from her "my dads a lawyer, I could totally make a fortune from getting injured in the workplace" she explained as though it made her statement any better. I just went about swallowing the lump in my throat without drawing to much attention to the fact that my nerves had completely taken over. "What are you doing here anyway?" she finally started saying stuff that actually made sense to my ears.
"I work here" I answered simply, although it probably wasn't the simplest way I could have answered her question. I just left room for more questions.
"Do you now?" the brunette flicked her hair back and put a hand on her hip, tilting her head as if to show she was intently listening.
"I'm from the Central Lima Schue's Super Store. Mr. Schuester bought me and two other employees over and is probably going to split up your work team so that we can help out" I tried to make sure not to mention the fact that he thought some of Sue's employees were in need of a little training. Although I think Santana drew that conclusion anyway, and her icy cold glare made me nervous.
"Ugh, whatever, as long as he doesn't ship me off to Central Lima I'll be happy" Santana shot me a curt smile before pulling her black leather jacket tight across her body and shivering. "Shit its cold this morning" she stated, beginning to walk over toward the store. I locked the car and jogged a few steps to catch up with her. Reaching into my bag, I pulled out a hoodie and held it out in her direction.
"You can borrow this if you like?" I offered. Santana stopped and considered what was in my hand before she yanked it from me and began to pull it over her head. I watched as the jumper fell around her small frame and almost swallowed her whole.
"It's huge" she observed, evaluating the front of herself. I smiled and nodded.
"I like buying big jumpers because there's so much more of them to keep me warm" I knew I'd lost her as soon as I opened my mouth because she was staring at me, as though considering my words before she shrugged and stared at her feet.
We began walking again, without saying anything else. Once we made it to the front of the store, I realized that when I'd pulled into the car park, not even Will's car had been there. That meant we'd have to wait even longer to get inside and away from the bitter morning frost. This sucked. Not only had Lord Tubbington woken me up early, I nearly ran over the only person at this store that had been even remotely nice to me yesterday and it was freezing cold out with Will not here to open the store. I couldn't help but look beside me at the girl who was now leaning against the wall, her arms crossed in front of her and my humongous sweater covering nearly a third of her body. She looked good in my hoodie, I thought before internally kicking myself. I shouldn't be thinking that. It was wrong and weird, I hardly even knew her. Not to mention she didn't even know my -.
"What's your name?" I heard her ask. She slid down the wall and began sitting on the pavement, pulling her knees up to her chest as to try and generate some warmth. I was really cold too. For some silly reason I was wearing shorts, a singlet and cardigan, barely enough to keep me warm.
"Brittany" I answered. I could see her mind working overtime as she thought about my name. I wonder if she was thinking about me like I had thought about her. Did she think that my name suited me?
"You're totally a Brittany" she nodded and smiled softly. I couldn't help but smile too. For some reason I couldn't really explain, it was good to know she felt the same as I did.
"Santana suits you too" I replied without filtering what had come out of my mouth. She didn't seem to mind though. I think she was thinking about other things because her brown eyes were doing that thing they did when we first met. Like she was looking right through me. Only this time she was polite enough to at least glance over my shoulder. I took the silence as an opportunity to initiate conversation about something I wanted to know about her. "What do you think about love?" I clamped my mouth shut almost immediately after I had blurted those words. Her eyes straight away flickered to mine. She might have been in a different world just moments ago, but it seemed as though she'd crash landed on planet just now.
"Uh, did you just ask me about love?" she repeated, as though to clarify she'd heard correctly. I just nodded, afraid of what else I might say if I opened my mouth and gave it another opportunity to speak. I was totally frightened of what she might answer. That's even if she would.
"You don't have to answer" I gave her an escape from my totally crazy and spontaneous question. I honestly don't know what came over me and I was totally screaming at myself on the inside. I really was stupid.
"No, it's okay" she assured me, chuckling as though it would ease the tension. I mustered an appreciative smile because I really did appreciate her trying to make this situation alright. Even though it totally wasn't. "I don't really think much of love really," Santana shrugged, shrinking further into my hoodie as though it provided some form of comfort I didn't know about "I don't really think of it at all, actually" she admitted, looking at me earnestly. I could tell she was being honest. She did that thing people did when they were being completely truthful, she looked me directly in the eyes and it made me stare back at her, blinking nervously until I turned away. "What about you?" she wondered, awaiting my response. I was just about to speak when Quinn wandered over. She looked slightly agitated and I think it was because I was sitting with Santana.
She didn't say anything, just assessed me silently before walking a few steps away and reaching into her pocket. Both Santana and I watched wordlessly as she pulled out a packet of Marlboro's and placed one between her lips. She protected the end from the wind before lighting the cigarette and inhaling a deep breath. I hated smokers, and I hated smoking. I didn't understand how people could do something that was so bad for them, without a care in the world. Did they not love themselves enough to treat their bodies with respect? I had been so into my thoughts I hadn't even noticed Santana get up until she was beside Quinn. They exchanged a pleasantry before I watched the brunette reach forward and take the cigarette from Quinn. Slowly she placed the butt between her lips and took a drag, silently holding the smoke before exhaling and offering the cigarette back to the blonde. She declined, pulling out another cigarette. I continued to watch as Santana shrugged and took another drag. It was in this moment I decided I didn't hate smoking, I just disliked it. I couldn't hate something that so innocently fuelled hatred and disregard inside others. After all, it wasn't the cigarettes fault, it was the owners. They should love themselves enough to know that their body is something worth loving, or rather, worthy of being loved. I sighed and watched as Will walked up towards us and swung his car keys around his fingers.
"Morning ladies" he gestured kindly to a panicking Santana, who was trying to stomp out her cigarette and unfazed Quinn, who continued inhaling a drag. "Brittany," he had saved a warm smile especially for me. That always made me happy. I really liked Will. Not only because he was super nice and talented, but because he knew when to make people happy. I liked that quality in people.
"Who's this guy?" I heard Quinn mutter in Santana's direction, although the brunette didn't bother answering, just followed Will inside. I looked at the blonde who eyed me suspiciously before putting out her cigarette and following her friend in. I was last to enter.
"I take it you girls worked for Sue?" Will began making small talk as he turned on the main switchboard, lighting up the entire store. It was much warmer inside and my legs were silently thankful for Will's arrival.
"Yep, sure did" Santana replied, although it had a sarcastic nature to it that I didn't quite understand or like.
"I'm Will Schuester, your new boss and owner of this fine store" I tried not to giggle as I watched Quinn raise an eyebrow. He was trying far to hard to impress them. If Santana and Quinn knew anything, it was that this store was far from fine.
"Cool beans Mr. Schue, I'm Santana and this is Quinn" the brunette introduced herself and her workmate. There was something sickly sweet about the way she was speaking and acting that didn't sit well with Brittany.
"What the -" Quinn glared in her friends direction, obviously trying to figure out her bizarre shift in personality. If Quinn was baffled then I had to be really, really confused because this was all going over my head, including Santana.
"Nice to meet you ladies," he nodded respectfully in their direction with a smile "I'm just going to check out the office space. Brittany, if you could let me know when all the employees arrive, that'd be great" he turned around and walked away from them. Once he was out of earshot, I watched Santana's totally false smile disappear and instead a bored expression replace it. I felt uneasy around her now, as though when we'd been speaking earlier, it may not have been the real her I was talking to.
"He's transferring employees to the Central Lima store" she began to fill Quinn in, who finally looked as though she understood Santana's behavior.
"Right, nice Lopez" Quinn shot her a wink before pulling out her phone and beginning to text. It was as though they'd totally forgotten I was in existence just mere meters from them. I wish Finn or Rachel was here, I felt really uncomfortable and was craving my real friends.
"Hey, you never answered my question from before?" I looked up and found Santana staring at me, as though she was anticipating the moment I opened my mouth to speak.
"Huh?" I stared vacantly in her direction, blanking as to what we had been speaking about before Will arrived.
"Love," she said simply, my eyes finding themselves lost in hers as our topic of conversation caught Quinn's attention "what do you think?" she further clarified. I already knew what she had meant though. After all I had asked the same question only minutes before. I had just needed reminding. She stared back at me, as though she genuinely cared for the answer but having seen her change so quickly it had made my head spin, I wasn't sure if she really did.
"Same," I shrugged casually in hope she couldn't see right through my obvious lie "I don't really think of it either." I was aware that Quinn was watching the two of us like a hawk but I didn't care. On some level I wanted Santana to immediately know that I was lying, but I was disappointed when the brunette took my answer without further questioning. It almost felt like I had told the truth, and trust me, I knew when I hadn't not only because my brain knew I was lying, but because I was self-conscious of how terrible I liar I was.
"I just texted Puck" Quinn broke the silence, informing Santana more than me. But I was still included in their conversation so I guess she was letting me know too. Although I didn't know who Puck was.
"Oh yeah?" Santana feigned interest but there was something about her response that told me she could care less. Maybe I had been too quick to write off her ability to know when I was lying.
"He said he'd come here quicker than he'd ever come with you" the silence that followed Quinn's obvious dig at Santana could be cut with a knife. I kind of felt awful for her. She hardly knew me yet she'd just had something personal revealed against her will. Santana didn't seem to mind though, not externally.
"Funny that, I've never touched the boys dick, ever" Quinn frowned in confusion as I pretended not to be listening. "Not even that time I was so stupid drunk that I nearly gave him a hand job. Emphasis on the word nearly. Little Noah got so excited at the thought of me touching him, if only to shut him the hell up, that he creamed his jocks before I even got started." Okay, I was officially disgusted. I mean I was impressed. I certainly didn't doubt Santana's ability to have that affect on people, but I really didn't need to hear that.
Somehow baring witness to those words being spoken from her mouth, made me wish I didn't have to know about her conquests. That and I now felt super protective of her, especially regarding whoever this Noah Puck guy was. He shouldn't be haggling her for sex. Just like Santana shouldn't feel pressured to give it to him. Not that she did. But sexual favors aren't just something you hand out. They're supposed to mean something. In my opinion, every touch was supposed to mean something. I didn't think less of Santana for feeling as though she needed to lower herself to a certain standard. I did however, feel as though if I was going to love Santana, I was just going to have to make a bigger effort in showing her that she's worthy of being loved. For the right reasons rather than the wrong.
I realized I'd totally spaced out like I sometimes did when I was deep in thought. Quinn was walking off and Santana was staring at me vacantly, as though she had been deep in thought too. Although I could tell the difference between her concentration and mine. Her eyes were staring at me with such an intensity that I knew it could only mean one thing. She was thinking about me. For what reason, I didn't know but I bet I could only guess it had something to do with me hearing that Puck thing. It couldn't possibly be about my opinion of love. She'd known I was lying from the moment my words littered the air, I was sure of it. Not any one person felt the same about love. I knew this because I'd heard somebody say what she'd said to me earlier, and they'd turned out to be wrong too.