I can hear'm before I see him. You'd think he'd get better, having come on hunts with me so much. But he doesn't, somehow. Still crashes through t'woods like a force of nature. Weird, that. Cos in every other way, he's got it down like nobody else, this surviving after t'end of t'world.

I stop, try to look like it's all ok. Not let it show how I feel, cos he likes to scrutinize you, work you out. I don' like it, but I guess he can't help it. It's the cop training, you see. He comes out onto t'path jus' ahead, looks round and stops. He's breathing hard, and he looks done in. This heat, and having hardly any food or water for days, it's really finished us all.

I fight down the urge t'go up t'him, put my head on his shoulder, give him a hug. I wanna do it so bad, wanna tell him it's all ok, it'll be ok soon. Cos he looks so done, like he's ready to give up. I know I am. But we both know we can't. Cos the others need us. Yeah, even me, still. I know that. Not much out here now t'hunt or trap, but if anyone can, it's me. They'll tell me that. The thought don't give me no pleasure.

"Hey."

His voice is cracked, parched. Why did he bother coming after me? Maybe he thinks I'm gonna run off, not come back? That makes me feel sick with shame. Gut reaction. He's still the cop, I'm the villain. Usually I know that's bullshit, but now'm not so sure.

A prickling, aching feeling deep inside my chest. I used t'get this all the time, before. Merle and his gang, they'd jeer, tell me'm scum. I'd knock them on their ass. Or go off and get smashed, jus' so tha' feeling would stop. Don't do that no more. Not true. I did it, and Beth got snatched from me. 'M really no better than I was, back w'Merle.

Now I can't get away, just have t'endure that look, and that feeling in my chest. Gotta let him do his talking, say his piece. He won't leave me be unless he does that first, I know that. That urge t'get away is strong, as it hasn't been since really early on. Maybe it'd be better… but no, I can't leave them. I ain't leaving Lil Asskicker. Jus' thinking about that makes tears well up. Hope he don' see, last thing I need, him thinking I'm a teary-eyed pussy. I look away, swallow down the burning feelin'.

I can taste bile, suddenly, feel the nausea. Sophia… this is how I felt after Sophia, all the time. I couldn't do anything to save her, and I can' do nothing t'save them now, and it makes me sick to m'stomach. He steps closer now, and I can' help flinching away. He stops, looking sad. Damn instincts. Damn Rick. I look at the ground.

"You ok?"

I force a nod, but can' look at him.

"Course, why would I not be?"

I bite down hard on m'lip t'stop the words. Why that tone, why always that tone with Rick? I glance up. He's stopped, just out of reach, hand half raised. Head cocked, like he does when he's not sure. I know he wants to touch, soothe. Like Carol did, jus' a little bit ago. And truth is, I want him to. But I can't let it happen, ever. Makes m'sad, and it's so damn confusing. I retreat another step, can't help it.

"Look man, I just need to know you're ok. I… I wanted to…"

What he wants I don' find out. There's a yell, suddenly, then shouting. He whips round, glances back at me, and together we run towards our people. Our people in danger, again.

The sick feeling in t'pit of my stomach getting worse, I follow him through the trees.