Chapter 2- Safe

It didn't make sense for me to go outside in the pouring rain. Dumbledore should really cast a repellent charm to stop it from raining like this. It seemed the whole world was crying ever since the war was over. It saddened me to think I couldn't ever enjoy the rain like I used to. Not after the tortured I endured. It seemed like a lifetime ago, but I was eighty- four days ago to be exact. The day the battle happened, I'd been captured a few hours beforehand. They wanted to have a little fun before they had to go fight. Lucius Malfoy led the capture. I'd been sitting in the common room, reading Hogwarts, A history. Harry came in and said Minerva wanted to speak with me. What he didn't tell me was that some random person had slipped him the note. It was hardly reliable to send notes that way. Why not just give it to Harry after class?

I should have realized right away it was a trap. Malfoy had let his father in, not that he had to do much but let him in the gate. He was on the board of governors for the school, so he could come and go as he pleased.

I went to room three as instructed and as soon as I opened the door, I'd been stunned. I never had a chance. I never told anyone what happened to me while I was with them. When they left for the final battle I escaped and apparated to Hogwarts, knowing the anti- apparation wards would have fallen by then. I could barely walk, a constant reminder to what they did to me, but I managed to find my way to the debris all over the grounds.

I remember Lavender Brown's scream when some death eater broke her leg by stomping on it. I wasn't sure which sound twisted my stomach more; her scream or the sound of her leg breaking. I killed the bastard, which turned out to be Avery, and healed her leg. She couldn't stop crying so I stunned her and pulled her out of the way so she wouldn't get hurt. Then I left her there. I didn't know where I was going or why. I just need to do something. I was hurt, but the torture curse could rack through my body as much as it wanted. I was still going to kill every last one of these disgusting assholes.

I was looking for Malfoy senior, I wanted to torture him, but I never got my chance. I couldn't torture someone's father in front of them. I didn't hate Draco Malfoy that much. I didn't like him, at all, but not enough to do that. So I killed his father right before his eyes and then had someone erase his memory because I was a coward. Severus didn't say it, but I knew he thought I was. I killed six people during that battle and I only regretted the one who deserved it the most. It wasn't fair. He'd tortured me for three hours, for no reason other than to relieve his boredom. Why did I feel so horrible about it?

"Shh, it'll be fine, Mudblood, don't cry. It only hurts for a second."

I shivered. His voice was so clear in my mind. I could hear it as if he were right next to me. Now that I think about it, no one knows that I was captured. Harry thought I'd gone to the battle with Minerva. She has no idea that I'd ever been gone. It's pathetic that no one cared enough to notice.

"Hermione?" I didn't move, because for a split second I thought it was Him. That was ridiculous of course, but still, I thought my heart had stopped beating.

"Harry, don't sneak up on me like that." I said softly and continued to stare into the rain. He stood back under the safety of the building so he wouldn't get wet. I was soaked to the bone and didn't even mind.

"You'll catch a cold, come back inside. We should talk about this possession thing." He said a small confused smile on his face.

"No." I said simply. I didn't want to talk. I wanted to forget. I wanted to be the girl I was before all this happened; before magic happened. I wanted to go home.

There was no reason I couldn't. I was eighteen years old, I could go home and go to a muggle university and find a wonderful muggle career. I didn't have to stay here.

I stood up quickly and faced Harry with a smile. Harry regarded me warily, knowing I could have an abrupt mood change.

"I'm going home, Harry." I whispered and ran inside, oblivious to his calls. Mom and dad would be so happy to see me!

Ginny was sitting on her bed in the room six girls shared. I pulled my trunk out from under my bed and started folding my clothes into it.

"Hermione? What are you doing? Where are you going?" Ginny asked frantically. I was really the only girlfriend she had ever since Luna was killed.

"Home. I'm going home. I need to get away from magic for a while." I whispered and finished packing. I never brought much here anyway. I picked my wand up off my nightstand and fastened my trunk. I was an adult now, they couldn't keep me here.

"Hermione, you can't!" Ginny said, aghast. I turned to face her, levitating my truck to the door.

"I'm sorry Ginny, but you have Harry and you're pregnant. You won't have time to miss me." I assured her with a smile. I loved Ginny and we'd gotten really close in these past two months. I would miss her so much, but it wasn't like I would be gone forever; just until I was better.

I kissed her forehead and left before she could talk me out of leaving Hogwarts. I'd learned all I needed in seven years. Ron was sitting with Lavender on the two- seater in front of a fire. I thought about not saying anything, but seven years of friendship told me I had to say goodbye.

"Ron?" I called and he smiled at me.

"Hey, Mione, what's up?" He looked so happy, more than I'd ever seen before, so I hated to ruin it for him.

"I'm going home for a while. I just need to get away for a bit. I already told Harry."

He frowned and looked upset. "Hermione you can't leave." He said and I felt exasperated. How many people were going to tell me that?

"Don't worry Ron, you'll be fine. I just wanted to say goodbye. It's been….it's been strange." I said lamely, unable to say something wonderful about how great fighting a war with him had been.

"Hermione you make it sound like you're never coming back!" He said, moving away from Lavender, looking horrorstruck.

"Of course I'll be back. Promise." I lied. I couldn't see myself coming back anytime soon.

I ran from the common room and didn't stop until I was at the infirmary. I needed to be sure that I wouldn't have any bizarre side effects from being possessed.

"Madam Pomfrey!" I called, walking back into her office. She was asleep on top of a bunch of papers. I smiled and shook her shoulder.

"Miss Granger? Finally come to your senses?" she asked with a big yawn.

"Yes, I'm going home for the weekend, but I wanted to know if there'll be any side effects from being possessed by Celia."

"No, but you should stay close to Mr. Malfoy. If you're away and possessed it would make her very upset. She's only here for Lucian. Come back quickly, Miss Granger, and I hope you'll be better when you do." She said softly and went to check on Malfoy, who'd been given some Dreamless Sleeping potion. There was no doubt in my mind that he needed it.

I rang the doorbell of my home for eighteen years, and waited nervously. I really wanted to talk to mom about what happened. Maybe she could help, because forgetting it was obviously making it worse.

My dad opened the door and gasped when he saw me.

"Hermione! Carol, Hermione's here!" He pulled me inside and into a hug. I clung to him, trying to stop myself from crying. I failed completely and sobbed into my dad's shoulders, feeling completely drained and tired. How much longer could I handle all the painful memories?

"Honey! What's wrong!" My mother came in and I ran into her arms, hoping she could make it all go away.

"I don't want to go back. Please don't make me!" I sobbed into her shoulder, ruining her beautiful white shirt.

"Shh, it'll be fine." My mother said, but it didn't help. Not at all.

"Shh, it'll be fine, Mudblood, don't cry. It only hurts for a second."

My mother ushered me into the living room and onto the sofa. I sat there, hearing the voice over and over and over…and it just wouldn't stop. It wouldn't go away.

"Mom! Please make his voice go away. I killed him it should be gone now!" I said, looking at her with wide eyes.

"Why isn't it gone? He's dead he shouldn't be able to hurt me anymore!"

My mother was at loss. She had no idea what I was talking about. She didn't know about any war. She didn't know I killed six people. She had no idea that her one and only daughter had her innocence stolen away.

He'd lied anyway. It's hurt for a lot longer than a second.

"Shh, it'll be fine…."

No it won't be fine. It's never going to be fine thanks to him.

My mother came back in the room, my father trailing behind her looking worried. She had two sleeping pills in her hand but I shook my head.

I reached for my wand and whispered the incantation that would put me to sleep.

"I'll wake up in a few hours, thanks mom." I whispered and drifted to sleep.

When I woke up I knew I'd slept for a lot longer than a few hours. I was in my bedroom, in different clothes than before I'd gone to sleep. Fear raced through me. Who'd undressed me? They would have seen the scar! I gripped the sheet feeling terrified. They can't know. No one can know. They'd never forgive me!

I heard voices down stairs and crept out into the hall to hear more clearly.

"She's been under a lot of stress since the end of the war. I saw her kill at least two death eaters. It was in self-defense, but it's still affected her." It was Minerva. What was she doing here in my home?

I walked down the stairs and saw that Minerva, my parents, and the Headmaster were seated there. I glared at every one of them.

"Hermione! You awake. I owled your teachers to let them know you wouldn't be coming back, but they insisted on talking to you." I looked at my mother and saw she looked afraid of me.

"If you don't want me here, you need only say the word, Mother." I said coldly. She sighed and turned to my father.

"This is on you Carol. She's too clever for you to fool."

"I think you've overreacted Hermione. You should go back and work things out. It's not like you to run from things." She said softly.

"I'm so fucking sick of fighting. I just want to relax. I'll get my things." I pulled my wand out of my jean pocket.

"Language Hermione! My goodness, first the tattoo and now this…potty mouth." She said exasperatedly.

I froze and stared at her. "Tattoo?" I whispered in horror. I didn't have a tattoo, so she could only mean the scar.

"Why would you put those words on your body?" she asked, turning her nose up in disgust.

I ripped up my shirt and let everyone see. In black lettering it said, Mudblood whore, it was written across my stomach and there was tiny x's covering my entire body from the knife. I couldn't even touch one after that.

"This isn't a fucking tattoo. It's a scar! It was carved into my skin by a curse knife. I'm leaving and don't expect me to come back, Mother. Dad." I said and summoned my truck, glad I hadn't ever packed it.

I looked at Minerva, "I guess you win. I'm coming back."

She nodded, noting hiding that's why she came. I went out to the front lawn and apparated to the gate outside of Hogwarts. Being head girl gave me that privilege.

I didn't go find Ginny, Harry, Ron or any of my friends. I went to the infirmary and lay down on the bed I'd been in just over a day ago. I wasn't tired at all, but I just needed to think.

"Miss Granger! Back already?"

An idea struck me when I saw Madam Pomfrey looking at me.

"Madam Pomfrey could you do me a favor?" she looked confused but nodded her agreement.

I pulled up my shirt and she stared at the words in shock.

"Could you see if there's any way to remove them?"

"Is this a muggle thing?" she asked doubtfully.

"No, it was a cursed knife. They're just scars." I whispered softly. Sometimes they hurt as much as they had when I'd first got them.

She put her hand on them and felt around before sighing.

"Dear child, you should have come sooner. I'll see what I can do. You just rest for now." she said and gave my hand a squeeze before walking into her office and closing the door.

I took a deep breath and willed myself to calm down. Panicking wouldn't help me right now. It was strange but here, in this bed, I felt safe. No one could hurt me here.

A/N: I was kind of surprised that I have 19! story alerts already, but only 5 reviews. I'm not a review whore, I just think that if you like the story enough to alert it then reviewing should be easy. Thanks to all of you who have reviewed, I hope you like this chapter!