Sorry for the extremely slow update. Update specially for the release of How to Steal a Dragon's Sword, though this a bit delayed.

Disclaimer: I don't own HTTYD, but I do own the author of the diary, Alethia the unidentified dragon and Emilia.

August 31st AD 801

I'm starting this off with not a rant against Toothless, but a rant against a small, blonde girl. Not only is she small (two heads shorter than me), annoying, but she is forever trying to escape and forever talking. Talking about how Bog-Burglars are better than the Hooligans, and how the Bog-Burglars are better than the Romans, and how the Bog-Burglars are better than... (Well, you get the idea). Before I explain what that is all about, I'd better go back to the beginning…

Well, I guess it started about a month ago. Hiccup had failed in his 'Boarding-an-enemy-ship' lesson, even though they were only meant to board a Peaceable Fishing Boat. They ended up boarding a Roman ship, apparently. No one believed him or Fishlegs, why should we? Romans, this far north? Yeah right! Boy, were we wrong… Few days later, they ended up capturing me, Hiccup and Fishlegs (They couldn't make up their minds about who was heir to the Hooligan tribe so took both of them. Why couldn't they have taken just Snotlout? He's so annoying and arrogant.)

Anyway, we ended up at a place called Fort Sinister. Not only is it cold, but wet as well, and by wet I mean wet. It rained for about two weeks straight. During that time we found out that Alvin hadn't drowned but was now working with the Romans, who don't actually know he is a Viking (stupid Romans), and plotting to put the Hooligans and Bog-Burglars in a blood feud (as if we don't have enough of them already, we're in a blood feud with virtually every Viking tribe in the inner isles. What can I say, we Vikings have issues). He ordered that we were taken to the prison tower and kept there until Saturn's day Saturday. He had also lost his hair *snigger* (a Viking without hair is not a Viking; he is lower than an outcast).

As soon as we were pushed through the door we were confronted (I'm sounding all nerdy again, please save me from this fate!) by the small, blonde daughter of Big-Boobied Bertha named Camacazi. She was so annoying and untrustworthy but Hiccup liked her and I think he like liked her, if you get my drift. I found her talkative and rude though it's not that I have anything against blondes some of my best friends are blonde including Emilia. She talked about everything but mainly how girls are better than boys (which is the only thing that we agree on).Also, she never stops trying to escape which is the worst thing. Every escape attempt ended in all four of us going hungry.

Nothing much happened for days unless you counted Camacazi's failing attempts at escaping until this miniature dragon named Ziggerastica or something, I don't know what species it was I ain't a geek like my brother no matter what anybody says. Hiccup kept babbling on at it in gibberish for hours after we managed to retrieve the 'speck' (I don't care if he's dragon royalty or not, I can call him what I like) from Toothless's mouth (did I not mention that the irritating dragon was returned to his master? No? Well he was). Apparently, Ziggy was going to help us escape on Saturn's day Saturday, in the morning.

I never want to see another Sharkworm in my life. Too many in too small spaces after the too small piece of food, Hiccup. The games had gone ahead despite the flooded arena but it would now be us against *shudder* Sharkworms. Everything would have been safe if Hiccup hadn't started bleeding everywhere. Sharkworms are carnivores (there are no more words for how much I want to stop sounding so nerdy) and hunt by smelling blood. To solve the problem we shoved him in a barrel and cast him over the side. I thought we'd never see him again so imagine my surprise, and everyone else's, when he flew, yes flew, out of the barrel and hovered in front of Alvin and the fat consul. It was apparent (ah! Stop it!) that Zig and his fellow midget dragons had attached themselves to Hiccup (erm...) and started to fly taking him with them. Anyway, our escape was ordered and it was allowed. Those idiotic Romans thought that he was actually their god of thunder Thor (our gods are so much better than theirs*) and would do anything he said. Hiccup got an awesomely cool gift, a Roman shield, jealous much? Anyway, the net stopping us escaping somehow broke and we were able to escape as the Sharkworms started to attack the lovely fat Romans and not us skinny little Vikings (go figure).

To cut a long story short, we escape to Sharkworms, just, and so nearly got caught by Alvin. You see Hiccup had the brilliant idea of climbing the portcullis after the boat smashed followed by Camacazi's even more brilliant idea off climbing a rope into a basket hanging under a balloon. Normally it's not hard but, after being thrown into the icy water, you can barely get your arms and legs to work.

I was a little nervous about the prospect of escaping in a basket under a piece of fabric with a Gronckle blowing hot air up to keep us a float. Miraculously (I'm just going to go with it now, G.A.F.**! Just don't tell anyone that I said that.) it worked. You have got to hand it to those Romans, they may be insane but they are excellent inventors.

As we were absconding that exasperating Alvin managed to get his hook hand into the foundation of the basket. Hiccup has some tremendous ideas at times (what he doesn't have in muscle he has in brains; unlike some people, mentioning no names *the entire Vikings of the Archipelago*). This one was to run clockwise round the basket to unscrew Alvin from his hook. It worked and it has to be the last time we will see, no one could survive that fall into a pool of Sharkworms.

We spent ages (specifically speaking 2hours 03mins and 13secs) in that balloon trying to find something to land on, preferably terra firma. Eventually we sighted something, the entire fleet of Hooligan and Bog-Burglar ships headed south. Well, we tried to land but it was more like a crash. I'm pretty sure I've broken my wrist in that.

Even after all that Hiccup and Camacazi did Snotlout still managed to get the glory. How is what I ask you? We Hooligans had our ancestral shield returned and somehow Snotlout got the glory for getting it back. Hiccup was the one who saved Camacazi and the shield should be his. He got what he deserved though. Fishlegs went a bit eccentric and pushed him over board; glory gone in an instant.

Now Toothless is getting on my nerves. Bragging in his strange little way about how he saved the day. No you didn't!

September 1st AD 801

Insulting dragon royalty hurts, don't do it. The pain, so much pain!

*I don't mean any offense by this

** Geeks Are Forever (I am the geek of my class and I know I'm not cool)