A/N: sorry it`s taken me a ridiculously long time to update! I swear I WILL try to update sooner! Anyway, please read and review and tell me if you like the third chapter! Suggestions and comments definitely appreciated! Please and thank you :)
Disclaimer: I wish I owned Life With Derek
If Casey had been even the remotest bit worried about Derek's plan the night before, it paled in comparison to her worry the next morning as she sat on the kitchen table, spooning soggy cardboard-tasting cereal into her dry mouth. She was home alone - George and her mother had gone grocery shopping, Marti was over at her mother's, Edwin and Lizzie were at a friend's birthday party, and Derek was practicing hockey at the local skating rink with the rest of his team.
Feeling the silence was really starting to irritate her, Casey turned on the radio. Country music blared from the speakers as some guy sang: "Singing 'Sweet home Alabama all summer loooooooooong!'" Casey found herself smirking. She could just imagine forcing Derek to listen to this song. Maybe then she could get him to convey his plans of bailing them both out of hot water. If there was one thing Casey knew it was this: there was now way she was going to be stuck with her mother, designing curtains and still living at the Venturi-MacDonald house, when she had the potential to get a full scholarship to go to Columbia University with Emily and finally proceed in doing something she was truly passionate about - writing.
It was infuriating how Derek seemed to take everyone and everything around him completely for granted. Did he assume that Casey was naturally going to be at home, eating sticky cereal and listening to country music? Did he think that she had no life outside of waiting for him? Did he think, even for one moment, that he was going to move to Toronto and leave her behind amid color schemes, paint bottles and demanding customers, so that he could become some pro-hockey player with zero job security? If his plan involved some stupid prank so that Casey couldn't move to New York while he got to escape London...then he was so dead. Casey felt her blood boil and huffed angrily, glancing - for the zillionth time - at her watch. Where the hell was Derek, anyway?! Did it take this long to practice some dumb lame sport?
Miraculously, the kitchen door swung open, revealing none other than Derek himself. He pranced inside, threw his hockey bag atop the washing machine - Casey sucked in a deep controlling breath at his slacker ways - and entered the kitchen. He took of his stupid ugly leather jacket and flung it on a chair opposite Casey. He then, without so much as noticing Casey's presence in the room, threw open the fridge and stuck his big bloated head in.
Casey counted to ten before speaking, making sure her temper was well within control. She cleared her throat. When still continued to not acknowledge her existence, she sighed. "Derek!"
He emerged with a carton of orange juice, undid the top, and slurped in some Vitamin D, not bothering to find a glass, as per usual. He yawned, stretched his long limbs, and put the carton back in the fridge.
"Derek," Casey repeated, standing up. She walked over to him and shook his shoulders - hard. He pushed her back with very little effort and she stumbled into a chair.
"Careful," he told her warningly. "My dad could have his ear propped up in the next room. You don't want to start a fight with me, now do you?"
Casey rolled her eyes and stood up. "We're home alone, you moron."
Derek relaxed. "Oh." He yawned again and stretched, whacking Casey on the face.
"It's about time you got home. Now tell me your stupid plan so we can get to work ensuring we're not exiled to a year of pure pain," Casey grumbled, rubbing her eye.
A pause ensued in which Kid Rock belted out: "Sweet home Alabama all summer loooooong!"
"Gah!" Derek gasped, stumbling back into the closed fridge door. Casey grinned and switched off the radio.
"That's right," she said menacingly. "You know, according to the singer, Alabama doesn't seem like such a bad place to live in. It's nice and hot unlike here. Plus there's tons of farming, which means you get a good workout. And besides, you could always try to kill a mockingbird!" Casey guffawed at her own clever joke. Derek, meanwhile, looked at her as though she was speaking German.
"What?" he asked, half bemused.
Casey rolled her eyes again. "Come on, Derek, you've never read To Kill A Mockingbird?"
Derek snorted. "Why would I read a book about killing mockingbirds?"
Casey exhaled sharply. "Derek, the book isn't about killing mockingbirds! The title is just symbolic of - "
Derek waved a hand to stop her steady flow of words. "I don't wanna hear it. I gotta go to my room and see if Belle is online again." He chuckled.
"You mean that French girl you've been hitting on all week?"
"That's the one." Derek ran a hand through his messy hair.
"Well, Bella will have to wait," Casey said firmly, grabbing his hand and leading him to a chair. He yanked his hand out of her weak grasp.
"It's Belle. And you call yourself fluent in French!"
"Whatever." Casey gritted her teeth. Derek had an unfair way of wearing her down, cell by cell, fiber by fiber. "Derek, do you not realize the seriousness of the situation we're in?!"
"Yeah, I kinda do," Derek said lazily, adjusting the collar of his shirt. "Thanks to you."
"Derek, we are not playing the blame game, all right?" Casey snapped. "Just tell me what your plan is so we can get to work! Unless, of course, you had a change of heart and you want to live with your Uncle Tommy for the rest of your life?"
Derek clenched his jaw. "Of course I don't," he snapped back.
"Derek, do you even have a plan?"
"I do, all right?" Derek interrupted angrily. "Yeesh. You have no clue how freaking tired I am. I was up from six practicing hockey while you were catching up on your beauty sleep!"
"That is so not true!" Casey bellowed. "I was studying! Which will actually help me in life, thank you very much!"
"Hey! I am gonna have a damned successful future, all right? So don't go saying that - "
"We're home!" George's voice yelled from the front door. Both Casey and Derek froze. Crap! Casey thought wildly. Busted, for sure! Derek's panicked eyes glared furiously at Casey before turning their gaze on the kitchen door just as Nora and George strolled in, laden with overflowing bags of groceries.
"Let me help you, Mom," Casey quickly offered, with the hopes of playing the responsible-older-daughter card in order to do some hasty damage control, as she reached forward and grabbed a bag from her mother. Nora smirked at her.
"Hey, Dad, just came home from hockey practice!" Derek said smoothly, his demeanor betraying nothing.
"Is that so?" George looked too suspicious for Casey's liking. "How was it?"
"Great." Derek smiled impishly. "Well, I'm off to my room. Call me when lunch's ready."
"Not so fast." George reached forward and gripped his son's arm, preventing him from walking any further.
"What's up?" Derek asked innocently.
"We thought we heard yelling," Nora said with a sigh. "Have you two given up already? Really, Casey and Derek - "
"Yelling?" Derek looked puzzled. "We weren't yelling. Were we, Casey?" He shot her a death glare that lasted about a nanosecond.
Casey found herself shaking her head. "No," she said, her voice high. Behind George's back Derek rolled his eyes; Casey was a horrible liar.
"Really." George looked amused. "Then what was all that noise Nora and I heard from the driveway?"
"M-Music," Casey blurted before she could stop herself. Derek looked like he wanted to throw something very heavy at her.
"Music?" George repeated, an eyebrow raised.
"Yeah." Casey gestured to the radio.
"It wasn't on when we came home," Nora objected.
"And we certainly didn't hear anything instrumental to accompany those...high-pitched voices," George added.
"That's...because the radio wasn't on when you guys came home," Casey invented desperately. I need to go to New York. I need to go to New York. I need to go to New York. I need to go to New York.
"Casey, what on earth are you talking about?" Nora asked warily.
"We were...singing," Casey explained, blushing furiously. "Right, Derek?" She stared at him meaningfully.
Derek now looked like he was going to kill someone. "Yes," he choked. "Yeah. We were singing. To a country song about Alabama. To remind us of how much we need to be friends in order to have happy futures." He seemed to be convincing himself more than George or Nora.
"I see." George let out a breath. "Fine then." He turned to the unattended groceries while Nora meandered to the sink. Casey stood in shock, surprised they had believed such a dense story. Oh well. Maybe they just want to give us another chance. Be glad that we now have that chance!
"Well, like I said before, I'm off to my room." Derek nodded at Casey before trudging off.
"Yeah, I think I'm gonna go too," Casey supplied in, following her stepbrother up the stairs. The two didn't say a word until they were inside Derek's room and the door was shut. Derek collapsed on his bed leaving Casey to stand awkwardly, the last remnants of red disappearing from her face. She sighed.
"Singing?" Derek groaned weakly, his head buried in his pillow. "Of all the lies in the world...singing?"
"I'm sorry, I didn't know what else to say, and you know how I hate being put on the spot - !"
"Casey," Derek said slowly. "I don't sing."
"Derek, I realize that but - "
"If you hadn't opened your big fat mouth, I could have thought of something way more convincing!" Derek hissed in fury.
"Oh, give it a rest, Derek! At least they bought it - "
"Casey, they did not buy it!" Derek snarled. He took a deep steadying breath and let out a moan, his hands covering his head. "They just pretended they bought it so they could test us."
Casey sat on his computer chair. "You're over thinking things." Huh, she thought in bewilderment. Wow. Never thought I'd ever say that.
Derek turned over onto his back. "My God. We are so screwed. They're probably gonna hang around the house more just to see us get into yet another one our stupid fights."
"We wouldn't be in this situation if you'd just told me what your plan was when I asked you!"
"If you hadn't been so damned pushy...I was exhausted, all right? I had been practicing hockey for hours and hours and - "
"Well, it's about time you realized that without hard work - "
"Enough Casey," Derek ordered sharply. Casey realized how loud they must have been. She sighed. This was going to be a lot harder than she'd thought. "And get out of my chair," Derek added.
Casey ignored him. "Will you tell me what your plan is or not?"
Derek swallowed. He glanced at his open palms, looking decidedly resigned. "Fine," he muttered. "Desperate times call for desperate measures." He sat up on bed and placed his elbows on his thighs, his eyes bearing a hole into Casey. "But you have to save your comments till after I'm done speaking. Got it?" Casey forced herself to nod, biting her tongue. "Good." Derek took a deep steadying breath.
"I don't know about you, but I think punishing us by not letting us chase after our dreams is a little bit too harsh. And forcing two people - who are clearly total opposites in every way possible - to be friends is not possible. Agreed?"
"Yeah, sure," Casey said, her eyes narrowing. "Where are you going with this, Derek?"
"My plan is to prove to our parents that there is no way in hell that we can be friends."
Casey raised an eyebrow dubiously. "I don't understand. How will that - ?"
"I want Dad and Nora to really comprehend our dislike for each other. That way they'll let you go to New York and let me go to Toronto, and they won't lay that whole 'try to be family' crap on us."
"Well technically, Derek, the punishment isn't entirely unfair. I mean, our arguments have gotten a tad bit out of control. Besides, if Lizzie and Edwin can get along, why can't we?"
Derek gritted his teeth. "Casey, we have tried, in the past, to get along. Has it worked?"
"Well..."
"Has it, Casey?"
"No, but - "
"Exactly. Lizzie and Edwin have some similarities. We have none. We were the alpha dogs in our respective families before our parents got married. We can't even discuss getting along with each other without getting into a fight."
Casey had to admit Derek was right. "All right, yes, I get your point. So how are we going to get our parents to understand our predicament?"
Derek stared at Casey for a moment. "Okay. Here's my plan. Don't speak until I'm done speaking. Let's go along with your plan for a bit by pretending we've become friends. We'll play our roles for a while and then switch planes. We'll pretend that we're starting to see each other through a completely different light. You understand me?" He didn't give her a chance to reply. "We'll pretend we want to take our friendship...to the next step."
Casey blinked. "Okay, you totally lost me."
"Jesus, Casey," Derek moaned, massaging his forehead. "What's the step after friendship?"
Casey shrugged.
"You and Sam started out friends, right?"
"More or less," Casey murmured.
"What did you guys start doing when you began crushing on each other?"
"Um...we began dating?"
Derek smirked. "Bingo."
"But what does that have to do with..." Casey trailed off and added two and two to get four. She let out a gasp. "No! Derek, you are kidding me!"
"Wish I was," Derek said sadly.
"Ew, Derek! That is total incest! We are related by marriage!"
Derek looked like Casey had just stated the obvious. "Exactly."
"But then - "
"We're teenagers. We have hormones. We're the same age. We go to the same school. We'll pretend we suddenly started to crush on each other."
Casey let out a little hysterical bout of laughter. "What will that do? We'll just get punished."
"No, we won't, Casey. Our parents will totally freak! They''ll want to separate us, worried about what society would think if the secret got leaked out, worried we'll totally embarrass them - blah, blah, blah. Hence, you will go to NYC, and I will party in Toronto. Get it?"
Casey couldn't speak. She could hardly even breathe. She had always known that Derek was a rebellious disrespectful being. But for him to sink so low that he'd actually even consider doing something so...absolutely ridiculous...now that was ludicrous. She took a few breaths trying to restart her heart. Derek guffawed.
"Are you down with my plan or what?"
Casey just glared at him. Didn't he even know her?! "Absolutely not, Derek!"
"But - "
"That is the dumbest most disgusting plan I have ever heard in my life! There is no way I'm following through with that! We are either going to try to work things out between us, or...or you'll just have to accustom yourself to gutting fish and milking cows for the rest of your pathetic life!" Casey stood up and went for the door.
"Casey, wait!" Derek was on his feet and he grabbed her elbow. "Listen to me, okay?"
"I am done listening!" Casey whispered furiously, aware of how audible they were from the other side of the door. She pushed him roughly out of the way and flounced back into her room, leaving Derek to his own fury-clad thoughts.