Katniss

The sun is well in the sky by the time we arrive to the Meadow. Honestly I'm not sure why I asked Gale to bring me here. It only reminds me too much of Rue, of my little ally during my first Hunger Games. It's not as if I've ever forgotten about her, but I'm not confident that this time—while I'm still so fragile about Peeta's death—is the best time to remind me of her. Still, I need to continue living. Maybe this is what it takes for that to happen.

"Well, we're here," Gale says, plopping himself on the floor next to me. He brings his knees up close to him and hugs them with his arms, looking over at me. I can't help but feel self-conscious as he stares at me. "What do we do now?"

I shrug, refusing to return the glance. Instead I examine the way the cool breeze ruffles through the oak branches high above our heads. Before I know it, I'm scaling the trees myself, reaching from one branch to the next. I can hear, somewhere below me, that Gale is struggling to catch up. Why shouldn't he? Isn't this what we always used to do in our free time after a good hunt, him trying to race me to the top of a tree.

But this is different, because his hands reach my waist and he pulls me off the tree, landing with a thud next to him. I eye him scornfully, and he blushes. "I thought you were going to try and…"

Jump. He thought I was going to jump. It's ridiculous how insane these people think I am. My head hurts, I just lost one of the few people that love me unconditionally, and I've been through the Capitol's terror twice. But when I try to get better, what happens? People assume I'm trying to kill myself.

"I would never jump," I scoff, glaring at my hands. Gale gasps, and I feel myself gasp a little, too. That's the most I've spoken in a very long time. At least, while not having a total mental breakdown. I exhale, exhausted, and quickly brush away any small piece of dirt or bark clinging to the surface of my hands. I look up at him. "We're best friends, right?"

I can see a small tear starting to fall from the corner of his eye, and he nods slowly. "The best," he affirms, his hand reaching up to wipe the tear. I beat him to it, using the tip of my finger to get rid of it. "Why?"

I fall silent. I'm not exactly sure why I asked him. Maybe I just needed to hear it once again. It's certainly been a long time since anybody's been a friend. I know Haymitch hates me now, more than ever, for killing his victor friends. Let him hate me, I think. If he wanted me to go along with his stupid rebel plan, then he should've told me.

He sighs and puts his arm around me, pulling me close. I know he doesn't mean it romantically, though. He knows I'm currently far too broken to fall in love with anyone else, even if that person is in love with me already.

Is that what this is? I think to myself, allowing my head to rest against his shoulder. Is he in love with me? I'd never actually thought about that before. Yes, he'd told me only a few months earlier that he loved me, but was that the same thing? And if so, would it still be true? I'd never given it much thought, since I had to be with Peeta. But now that he was gone, would Gale take me back?

What am I thinking? I'll never have a family. I've as much as sworn that to myself. Even if I did fall in love with someone, I wouldn't be any good to him. I can't give him a family. Not even for Gale. And he wants to have a family; he's told me so before. Why would he waste his time with me, then?

I feel his lips brush over my hair, and I close my eyes, sighing. I'd be lying if I said that I'm not hard-pressed to find anyone better than him right now.

Anyone alive, I think bitterly, and I squeeze my eyes, trying to ward off the tears that are soon to follow after every thought involving Peeta. "Gale?" I whisper softly, biting my bottom lip nervously. He doesn't reply, and I take that only as encouragement. "Why did you say yes to running away with me?"

I know why. I know exactly why. And it's not like he didn't tell me before. I love you, he'd said. But did he mean it? Would he still mean it now, that there's no danger of me no longer being his hunting partner?

He hesitates before turning his head, so that his cheek rests on top of mine. But his response isn't at all what I'd been expecting. "It's lunch time. I think we should go back…" I can tell there's more he wants to say, but as we walk our way back to the Victor's Village, I can't help but wonder if he said exactly what he wanted to. There could be a double meaning. I think we should go back.

The strange thing is, I don't want things to go back to how they were before. My past is far too messed up for that to work anymore. Even if I don't deserve it, I want the protection I never gave in return, from the boy with the snares.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Thank you guys so much for the reviews, you have no idea how much they mean to me. I seriously squeal like a little girl every time I check my inbox! Now, I've already PM'ed you personally, but for one reviewer that hasn't been possible. So Fleur24, thank you for your reviews in this story and in my other one (The Only Life Worth Saving), they mean the world! I'll try to update as soon as I can! By the way, I will not be dong AN's often. This is the one exception. Again, thank you!