When I woke up I was shivering. Something cold was pressing painfully against my back. I looked to the side to see what it was, and that's when I realized that my body was pale, almost white, like absolutely colorless. Then I looked around me and noticed that I was back in my room or cell whatever you would like to call it. And the cold thing pressing against my burning back would be the floor they had dumped me on. I tried to sit up but found myself unable to move without a sharp pain shooting through my body like knives.
I took a deep breath and turned to my side, then I just laid there on my side waiting for the pain to pass so I could turn further on my stomach. Again I waited for the pain to go away. I put my hands beside my body and tried to push myself up. With a lot of effort I managed to sit up on my knees, from where I tried to stand up.
When I finally stood I looked around me, everything was still how I left it, not that that was so hard, because the only material thing in this room was my bed. I walked to the door on the opposite side of the cell door and opened it. I looked inside and noticed a pile of black on the stool that stood beside my shower. So I walked closer and examined it. It was some brand new shadow hunter gear.
I looked down at the one that I was wearing right now, or rather what was left of it. With a lot of effort and pain I managed to take what was left of my gear of from me. Next I walked into the shower so I could wash myself, something I wasn't particularly looking forward to be doing. I turned on the shower not bothering to turn up the heat, I was freezing, but the cold water seemed to numb the pain a bit, while I washed away all of the blood and filth covering my body.
I slowly walked out of the shower to stand before my mirror. I gasped, they really had outdone themselves this time. The girl standing before me looked nothing like the one she ones knew. To be honest she hadn't for a long time, always seeming to have at least some kind of injury. But then she at least was able to recognize some parts from her former self, but now? Her face was covered in bruises and cuts, one of them particularly was pretty big. It ran down from just a little above her eyebrow across her eye to her cheekbone. I knew that I was lucky that the cut wasn't deep enough to have blinded me. The rest of my body looked at least as bad or even worse than my face. She was afraid to turn around and take a look, if these were only the injuries that Luke had inflicted upon me, I didn't want to know what Sebastian had done with my back.
I should have listened to my inner self, when I turned around to look at what he had done I let out a quit sob. There didn't seem to be any skin left. It was all red and torn to shreds. Numerous places still seemed to be bleeding heavily. So I bend down to search the cabinet for the first aid kit. It was much bigger than a normal one because I quite often had to use it.
I picked out a pair of scissors, a few bandages and some tape. I wrapped the bandages skillfully around my back starting at the bottom of my waist and going up as far as my shoulder, just so every inch of my back would be covered. I also put on a few of the larger cuts a butterfly bandage while leaving the smaller ones alone, so they could heal on their own.
When I was finally done with taking care of my wounds the best way I could, I put on my black gear and went back to my room so I could lay down in my bed. I couldn't sleep on my back, and my side was a little sore to so I decided to lay down on my stomach. The painkillers I swallowed just before my shower decided to finally kick in. They didn't take away the pain completely but managed to take the sharp edges of. I fell asleep almost instantly thanks to the exhaustion.
I awoke from the soft click of my cell door just as I always did. So I stood up and stumbled to the door. I opened it and as soon as I stepped out I straightened my back and walked towards the training room like nothing was wrong.
As soon as I entered I saw that nobody was here yet. I let out a soft sigh of relief and went to stand in the middle of the room waiting for my mother and Sebastian to come.
I knew I didn't have to wait very long because they both were always very punctual. But this time instead of my mother and Sebastian, was it Luke walking through the big oak doors. He looked at me with disgust and something else what resembled amusement. Although I knew he wasn't able to feel such feelings, I guessed it was because he was thinking about all the things he had done to me.
"Clarissa, your mother is waiting for you in the library. She didn't think training today would be of any use considering your injuries." He smiled at that part and then continued. "So you will be studying today."
I just simply nodded and followed him out of the room into the hall. He walked me all the way up to the library before stopping and gesturing me to go inside.
Not wanting to risk angering him or my mother I went inside and walked down a couple of steps to the middle of the room all the while I looked around me taking in the amazing sight of all the books and artwork. It wasn't a very big space but I always enjoyed being here, it reminded me of the library back home at the mansion.
I stopped in front of the large desk. Mother was sitting on the other side. I felt her eyes going over me, like she could see all the damage her son and admirer had inflicted. She stopped at my face for a moment before she looked me in the eye.
"Clarissa, how nice of you to join us." Until then I hadn't noticed Sebastian standing in the corner, hidden in the shadows. But now he came over and set down at one side of the desk. I moved to sit at the other empty spot.
"As you may have guessed, today you'll be going to study. Sebastian, I want you to read about the origin of the demons and Downworlders. I have picked out some books for you which I already put down on the corner to your left." Sebastian picked up the first book and started to read.
"As for you Clarissa, you'll be going to study new runes. As you instantly now all the angelic ones just by seeing them once, you won't have to study them anymore, as I'm sure you know all of the existing ones by now." She emphasized the word existing, because she knew I could create new ones, and wanted me to do so. "First you are going to study demonic runes and after that I'll give you some space so you can try to create new runes.
I simply nodded and took the book she handed me. And started studying the demonic runes. I hated them, they always made me feel sick. But I didn't complain, this was ten times better then training with Sebastian.
"Okay, Sebastian you are done with your studies for today. You may now go to the trainings room and do something you would like to practice." My mother dismissed him with a nod to the door. "Clarissa, I would like you to try and think of some new runes that could be useful." My mother knew that mostly none would come to me but she wanted me to keep on trying.
"Yes mother." I replied.
I sat down and started thinking, but not about what my mother wanted me to. I was thinking about how I was going to escape. I knew that if I would be able to get my hands on a stele that I would be able to draw a portal rune, but she was never going to give me one, and especially not without supervision. When I started to think about how to get a stele other than getting one from my mother another rune appeared in my head, I started to smile slightly. But it faded quickly. I knew what it was supposed to do, but how was I supposed to get it to work.
The rune would allow me to put objects into a piece of paper and pull them out again. So if I could just get my hands on a stele the I would be able to put it in the piece of paper. Aan idea popped into my head, one that just might work. I knew that I would be taking a huge risk, but if it worked out I would be free.
"Mother?" I asked carefully.
"What is it?" She replied.
"Could I maybe get a few pieces of paper and a pencil, I think I might be able to come up with a few runes if I would be able to put something down on paper.
At first I didn't think that she was going to respond, but then she pulled open her drawer and took out a stack of paper and handed it over to me with the pencil she had just been using. She watched me carefully as I tried to think about a new rune, one I would be able to show her without too much consequences hopefully. But still a little useful. Then my hand started to move on its own, I just kept drawing until it was finished. When I looked down at the rune I instantly felt its power and knew what it would do. It kind of resembled an eagle head I thought to myself before looking up straight into my mother's expecting eyes. I turned the paper around slowly so she could see it for herself.
"So what does it do?" She asked me her eyes narrowing.
"I could show you, if you could give me a stele I'll draw it on myself." I offered.
"No, I have a better idea. Luke!" She called. And almost immediately the door to the hallway opened, revealing Luke. "Luke would you be so kind as to get me the shadowhunter we captured yesterday?" Luke looked confused, but walked away towards the dungeons.
A shadowhunter? Why did she have another shadowhunter captured in her dungeons? Not long after Luke left he returned with the shadowhunter. But what I saw made my stomach turn around. Dragging behind him was a little boy, which could not be older than ten with glasses on, which revealed his big and scared eyes.
I looked up to my mother, my eyes questioning her. But she just looked back at me, not making any indication that she was going to explain what she was going to do with him or why she had him, although it was pretty clear it wasn't anything good.
"Clarissa, I want you to draw the rune on the boy. Luke give her your stele." Luke simply nodded and handed over his stele while holding the little boy in a firm grip, which looked at me like I was going to tear him apart and feed him to some demons.
I took the stele and walked to the little boy. "Don't worry, I'm not going to hurt you." I smiled gently at him, he seemed to relax just a little. He didn't fight Luke anymore, but the fear was still visible in every inch of his body. I sighed and put the stele on his arm. I almost started to draw but instead I asked how old he was.
"Ten." The boy said with a shaky voice.
I turned to my mother. "That's too young, you know that mother." From your experiments on me, I almost added.
She looked at me as if I had gone mad. "Clarissa, you do what I tell you to do, whenever I tell you to." I cringed a little at hearing the tone in her voice.
"But mother…" I tried again before being backhanded by Luke.
"I think your mother has made herself very clear." He barked.
"I can always draw it on my own arm." I tried once more.
"No, you will draw your rune on the boy right now. One rune he should be able to handle easily." She replied back at me.
I turned around to meet the gaze of the boy once again. But this time I didn't see the fear, at least not towards me, but admiration and gratitude instead.
'I'm sorry." I told him. I put the stele down on his arm again and this time I started to draw the fearless rune. I wasn't prepared for what happened next. The boy pulled himself away from Luke and started to run towards my mother with a knife in his hand, which I hadn't even seen him take from Luke's weapon belt. He leaped at my mother swinging the knife with all the force a small kid that age could muster. Still my mother dodged him easily.
I knew I should help him but this was the perfect opportunity. Nobody paid any attention to me, so I took the stele and put it in one of papers I had previously drawn the other new rune on. The Stele was now stuck in the paper like a perfect and very detailed drawing. I swiftly put the other papers on top and turned around, just in time to see Luke charge at the boy from behind with a sword held high above his head ready to strike.
I don't know where the strength came from but in an instant I was behind the boy, pulling him with me tumbling to the ground. I stayed on top of him, affectively protecting and stopping him from moving to attack someone again.
"Don't move, I know you aren't afraid right now but you aren't strong enough to defeat them." I felt his body slightly tense and knew I hadn't convinced him completely. "Listen I promise I will get you out of here, but I can't help you if you don't stop fighting." And when I said that I knew I meant it too, no matter how hard it was going to be, I would get him out of here, even if it meant staying myself.
I slowly stood up, hoping he listened and wouldn't attack again. I pulled him up with me holding him tight behind me. I looked up to find my mother and Luke standing next to each other, watching me with a lot of anger.
A loud gasp came from behind me, I turned around so I could look at the boy, who's name I still didn't know but had already sworn to protect, while still being able to notice any movement from Luke or my mother. He was staring at his hands and then back at me. His hands were covered in blood. I panicked.
"Are you hurt? Are you wounded? Let me see." I asked him concerned. Bu he only looked at me like I was crazy. "What is it?" I asked him again.
"It's not my blood, it's yours." He told me. His voice was steady no sign of fear, probably because of the fearless rune.
"Aren't you in pain? Your whole back is bloody." At this I felt with one hand, he was right my whole back felt drenched. I looked at my hand and it was indeed soaked with blood. My back hurt but not much more than it had already done.
"Clarissa, you should clean yourself while we take care of that child." She said as she and Luke walked over to us.
"Wait!" I said hurriedly. "It's not his fault, this was the runes doing." As I hoped she would, she stopped and looked at us curiously.
"And what kind of rune would make him do something so stupid?"
I started to explain. "It's a Fearless rune, you both should have noticed how afraid he was when he walked in here and how it was gone the moment I put that rune on his arm." Which reminded me, he was still ten, that was two years too young to get your first rune. I looked back at him and saw him holding his arm on the exact spot I placed the rune. I hated myself for doing that to him even though I had no choice.
"So what you are saying is that he doesn't fear anything right now?" I let out a sigh of relieve, glad that as I hoped she would, she found what the rune could do more interesting than the fact that the boy had attacked her of his own will.
"Yes, that's precisely what it does." I replied.
"Very well, Luke bring the boy back to his cell. Clary you are done for the day. When Luke comes back you can go too." Then she looked at the boy. "And you, if you try anything like that again or show even the slightest of bit of disrespect, you will be punished. "Clarissa, show him your back so he knows what happens when you don't listen."
"Mother…" I wanted to protest but she held her hand up affectively silencing me.
"Pull off your shirt, now." So I did as she had asked me, well more like ordered me to. That's when I noticed the large tear in the back of it. I remembered that Luke was about to strike the boy but I had jumped in between them pulling us both aside. Luke must have hit me, although I hadn't even noticed. Probably because it already hurt like hell.
The bandages were also cut through, I kept them up in front of me with my arms but I couldn't cover up the back.
"Turn around Clarissa, show him what we do when you are disobedient." Listening to my mother's words and hearing her emphasize the word disobedient forced me to turn around slowly.
"Okay, that's enough Clarissa, put your clothes back on. I'll let Luke bring you some new gear later."
I put on my shirt and jacket and turned around to look at the boy again. He was trembling, his eyes were big and looking straight into mine. He already had seen my face, which was pretty banged up from the day before, but now he looked horrified. I wanted to make him feel better, feel safe, but I didn't know how I could do that except by getting him out of here, so I just smiled at him. To my surprise he weakly smiled back at me, which was way more than I expected.
Luke took his arm and dragged him out of the room. Leaving me and my mother alone. It was now or neve I had to ask her.
"Mother, I would like your permission to take the papers and a pencil with me to my cell. I feel like I maybe could think of a few more runes, and drawing them seems to help." I tried to convince her, by giving her the best reasons I could think about so she would allow it.
"I think that's a great idea." This was absolutely not the response I was expecting. I looked up to see her standing, with an almost happy smile. Like I had just given her the best present anyone could have, but I knew it was just some twisted happiness, which came forth from her desire to kill all Downworlders by creating the ultimate shadowhunters, something with which my runes could possibly help.
I just nodded, not wanting her to change her mind, or think about the fact that I hadn't given her Luke's stele back yet.
The doors opened again and I expected to see Luke coming back for me but instead it was Sebastian.
"Clary! Just the person I needed, I would like you to draw an Iratze on my arm if you don't mind." He smiled at me, like he was a real and caring brother just asking his sister for a small request, but his words let my hope I just had seconds ago drop to my feet.
"Sebastian, what did you do?" My mother asked. I thought she just might not think about the stele.
"I just hit the dummy a little too hard mother, it wasn't very nice to my arm, it apparently broke it." My mother sighed at this.
"Clarissa, if I remember correctly, you still have Luke's stele on you." I froze, not knowing what to do. It wasn't supposed to go like this. I wanted to hit Sebastian with everything I had for breaking his stupid arm.
"I.. I must have dropped it when I stopped the little boy." I said the only thing I could think about. While checking the pockets in my clothes like it could be in there which I knew wasn't, just so I would be more believable.
"Did you now? Then I guess I'll give you my stele for a moment so you can heal him." At which she reached into her pocket and pulled out her stele, and handed it over to me. I sighed in relief, maybe she believed me. But when I looked at her and saw her gazing look, watching me carefully, I wasn't so sure anymore.
"I quickly drew an Iratze on his arm, with a little more power, so it would heal faster. You literally could hear the bone snap back into place. I immediately gave my mother her stele back when I saw his arm was healed, not wanting her to suspect me anymore then she already did.
"Sebastian, if your arm is healed I would like you to search your sister, I want to be sure she didn't hide Luke's stele anywhere, but dropped it like she said she has." Sebastian walked over with a wicked grin and started to search every inch of my body, his hands lingering on some places a little longer than necessary, but mother didn't seem to notice. She only looked expectantly at him, waiting for the moment he would pull out a stele. Even though I knew he wouldn't find one I was still nervous, but this had a different reason which was Sebastian, he always had shown a bit too much interest in me and it made me nervous.
Luke walked in at the exact moment Sebastian finished searching me.
"What's going on?" He asked.
"Clarissa dropped your stele and Sebastian just made sure she wasn't hiding it anywhere." My mother replied casually.
"And did she?" He asked.
"No." Sebastian replied.
Luke's eyes went dark as he walked closer to me. I had to look up to meet his eyes, which is why I didn't see the blow he threw into my stomach, I gasped for air as I fell to the ground, where he kicked me once in the ribs, I could feel one snap. I tried to inhale but doing so send a sharp pain through my chest. This was just great, like I hadn't enough injuries already. Then two strong arms lifted me up by my arms and held on to me until I could stand on my own.
"So where is it?"
"I.. Don..'t Know…" I said between breaths."
"Luke, that's enough, it will turn up and if not, you can just get a new one from the armory." My mother scolded him. "Sebastian, take your sister to her room, and take that stack of paper and a pencil with you, so she can try to create some more runes." She told him as if it was her idea, but I didn't mind.
Sebastian picked up the stuff with one hand and kept me up with another. I was exhausted and just wanted to return to my room.
We walked slowly through the hallway, although at some points Sebastian was carrying me more than I was walking.
He opened the cell door to me room and let me sit down on the bed, putting the paper on the ground next to me.
I looked up at him and felt a little uneasy, why wasn't he gone already? What did he want?
He bent over to me and looked me in the eyes, his dark eyes were filled with something I couldn't quite place yet. He came a little closer, I tried to scoot away but my back was already against the wall. Then he kissed me, I tried to move to the side but his hands held a firm grip on my shoulders affectively pinning me against the wall unable to move. I tried to push him away with my own but I knew it was useless, he always was much stronger than I was.
His kiss became rougher, like my struggling turned him on. A single tear escaped my eye. And then he was gone. He walked out of the door, but before closing it, he told me he would come back tomorrow for more.
I started to cry, if that little boy hadn't been here I would have already left, but I couldn't leave without him, I promised. And in the state I was in there was no way I could stand up on my own two feet let alone search for him. I know I could just use an Iratze but if I didn't find him tonight then there was no way to explain to my mother how all the wounds except the ones made with the demon metal whip were healed. So eventually all I did was lie down and sleep, not caring that my bed was getting soaked with blood seeping from my back.