CHAPTER 2
The plasma board immediately showed the interview footage of our contestant. I always hoped it's someone like Emily Rochefort or anyone that's interesting; to my shock, the contestant isn't female – not even a human.
"Ar, I like money! I like Krabby Patties!" the creature said. He has a red exoskeleton – as shown by the video – making me assume that he is a crab (because of that "Krabby Patty" or something).
"Hello, everybody!" it said in a rather crusty tone. "I am Eugene Krabs, current manager of the Krusty Krab…"
So this crab's a "he", I thought.
"… and I am going to play this game called 'Deal or No Deal' to be able to provide more job opportunities for my fellow sea creatures, thereby opening possibilities of having more branches of the Krusty Krab! Ar ar ar ar!"
Yeah, his crabby laugh sure made me laugh myself, yet I felt something crazy as I, together with our eager audience, continued our snickering over his accent: I doubt if his intentions are true, because as revealed by the personal data files given to me by our boss Tseng – who volunteered to be the psychological aide of our contestants-would-be – he has a deep obsession over money; a single penny falling down the sewers is like the end of the world for him. Maybe we could at least help him over his dilemma.
Well, I thought his crabby speech was over; I could have thought of it sooner.
"Plus, if I do manage to have more Krusty Krab branches built all over the seabed, I'll be able to bring down Plankton and his one-eyed minions – even if they invoke the aid of Emerald WEAPON! Ar ar ar ar!"
The audience roared with laughter once more; I didn't because I heard Emerald WEAPON's name being uttered. Not that I'm overreacting, but I know that the WEAPONS should be given some respect; whosoever makes them a laughing matter might push up wilted daisies in no time.
Then I heard a voice from one of the audience; I turned to see who it was: Steve, our regular audience, with his khaki slacks, brown shoes, and his trademark green-striped shirt. He can't speak clearly because he lost almost all his voice from that outrageous laughter.
Despite that, I managed to decipher what he was saying to his blue puppy named, of course, Blue.
"Blue, please ask Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper if they have some lozenges in our fridge…"