Presenting Mindcrack's Team Nancy Drew in:

The Case of Monumental Malfeasance

Episode 3: A Pause in the Action

By the time his flying machine reached its dock at his headquarters, DocM's ears were ringing from the loud pistons that drove the machine. He still hadn't given the donkey a name – maybe Schmetterling Jr. That brought back memories of the brave horse who gave his life testing Doc's elevator system, only to be replaced by the nameless donkey he kept in it now.

Doc had spent so much time recently on CrackPack that he barely remembered the lay of the land here on Vanilla. Doc hopped off the donkey and looked over the tall purple buildings on his island home. Then he leaped off the edge and into the water.

Back on land, the purple buildings and his huge basketball hoop towered over him. The flying machine was great, but the ride was still rough. He had some modifications in mind that would not only make the flight smoother, but make the machine more versatile overall.

Through the front door and up a few stories of ladders and stairs brought him to the golem farm. To his left a villager hummed, and then a series of fiery huffs greeted his arrival. He popped open the chest and loaded himself up with ample stores of iron.

Doc turned around to go to his redstone storage when he was startled by Aureylian. He hadn't heard her arrive, and he nearly ran into her when he turned around. "Aurey," Doc said.

"Hi, Doc," Aurey greeted in return. "You busy?"

Doc nodded. "Working on my flying machine," he answered.

Aurey's voice was flat. "Sounds interesting. I was just wondering if you wanted to stop by my mansion and have lunch. It doesn't have to be right now. We just haven't done anything together on the server yet and I wanted to get to know you better."

Doc thought for a while. "Uh, sure, I guess. My modifications shouldn't take too long. I'll swing by as soon as I'm done."

The flying machine was humming along smoothly. Doc's modifications had made it roomier and more agile. The airboat motored across the UHC Monument, Spawn Village, and other structures that Doc didn't know that well due to his absence. Finally he saw it – for the first time, in fact. Genny had built quite an impressive place. Doc parked his flying machine beside the mansion's roof and hopped down onto the wooden pathway. He hesitated for a moment at the nether portal doorway. It hummed at him with its purple swirly opening. Doc held his breath and walked through.

The mansion was very spacious. Aureylian appeared almost as soon as Doc passed through the portal and prompted him to follow her. She had constructed an elaborate kitchen for VintageBeef and was just finishing up the meal.

Doc took a seat at one of the tables. Aureylian laid down a tray heaped with carrots, potatoes, milk, and a sandwich in front of him. Doc thanked her and chomped on a carrot.

"So, that flying machine you made is bananas," Aureylian said.

"Yeah," Doc responded. "It was a goofy idea that actually worked. I even got a donkey on there for mail deliveries or whatever."

Aureylian looked intently at Doc's plate. "Have the sandwich. It's peanut butter and jelly. All homemade. My special recipe."

Doc swigged some milk. Shaking his head he replied, "No thank you. I'm not very hungry right now. I can barely fit the carrots and potatoes inside."

Aurey's jaw clenched and her eyes grew cold as a snow golem's. "Eat it," she said in a low voice laced with menace. "It would really mean a lot to me."

Doc trembled. "I…I'm full," he insisted.

Aureylian stood up suddenly. Her voice now friendlier, she said, "Okay, okay, if you're full you're full." She gestured to Doc to get up. "Come on, I have a problem with Bdubs' room that I need your help with. Shouldn't take long."

Still frazzled by Aureylian's odd behavior, Doc followed her to Bdouble0's room. The place was nicely furnished with a fireplace and a four-poster double bed. To the side was a cute little crib for Baby Bdubs. "It's the mobile," Aureylian said, grabbing the overhanging fencework. "I just can't get it right. Could you look at it for me."

"Sure," Doc said. She swung the crib's cage down and Doc stepped inside to examine her crude mobile. Aureylian slammed the cage up, swung over to the wall and pressed a button.

"You should have eaten the sandwich," she said. Doc felt the bottom of the crib give out below him.

Aureylian held her sword across her body. Guude started to back away. "Hey now, Aurey, there's no need for violence. You can have your jelly back." He held it out in front of him. She stared at Guude intently, still brandishing her sword.

"You never should have come here," Aureylian said. "I can't let you leave."

Team Nancy Drew fell back as Aureylian approached them menacingly. "I have to get something to eat," Pause said. "I'm down to half a heart." He grabbed the can of jelly, scooped out a hunk of it with his hand, and put it in his mouth.

"Minions!" Aureylian shouted. The pigmen drew together into an organized bunch.

The four Mindcrackers tipped over two of the room's tables and ducked behind them. "Pause," Beef said in a lowered voice. "You shouldn't eat that. You don't know whether it will help you or not. It could be poison."

"What should I do?" Pause asked in a calm and even tone.

"Well right now you should shoot these fuckers," Guude said.

Pause stood up straight, no expression on his face, and he began firing arrows at Aureylian and the pigmen. The others tried to pull him back down, but before any of them could do so all of their assailants had been felled by Pause's arrows. One-shotted, to be specific.

Guude, Beef and Baj stood up, amazed at what had just transpired. "How did you do that?" Baj asked.

Pause didn't answer. He just stood silently staring across the room at nothing. Guude snapped his fingers in front of Pause's face but got no response. "You there, Pause?"

"What do you want me to do, master?" asked Pause.

"It's like he's hypnotized," Beef said, looking Pause over closely.

The jar of Relly Jelly was lying on the floor overturned with half of its sticky contents leaking out. Baj dipped two fingers in the goopy jelly and sniffed it with a cock-eyed expression on his face. "I'll bet it was the jelly," he said. He shook the glob off his fingers.

The room was filled with dead zombie pigmen and gold nuggets. Beef gathered up the nuggets while Guude went to Aureylian, lying prone on the ground with an arrow in her left eye. She was spitting out sparks all over. Baj drew in close, pushing her chin to the side with his thumb. Her head came off, revealing the mechanical insides of a robot.

Baj and Guude looked at each other. "What did you find?" Beef asked as he came over laden with gold nuggets. When he saw the decapitated Aurey-bot he gasped. "Is that what I think it is?"

Baj and Guude nodded. Guude stood up and went to the room Aurey-bot and the pigmen came from. It was a break room with tables, chairs, a refrigerator and stove and cupboards. A television set hung on the wall was playing a YouTube video by DocM about the latest snapshot. A handwritten note on the refrigerator said, "Your mother doesn't work here so clean up your own fucking mess." Beef went back to the door and yelled, "Get in here, Pause."

Guude opened the refrigerator and grabbed some food. Despite his gorging on the Relly Jelly, Pause would probably need some real food to keep him from dying. Closing it again, he distributed the food to his fellow teammates.

The other side of the room had an iron door with no visible lever or pressure plate to open it. There was a lock, however. "Anyone know how to pick a lock?" Guude asked.

"I learned once," Beef said. "Just need some picks." A first-aid box hanging on the wall had some tweezers in it. Baj broke them in half with his handy survival knife. Beef went to work on the lock.

"What do you think's going on?" Guude asked Baj in a hushed tone.

"I couldn't tell you," Baj said. He looked at Pause standing mindlessly still. "We can surmise that the jelly has mind control properties, and the usefulness of that is obvious. But to what end is all this happening?"

There was a click, and the door latch turned. "Follow us, Pause," Guude said, and they all went through the door.

The room beyond the door was huge. Black scaffolding spread across the room, and banks of computers and other machines covered desks and floor. Most prominent, however, was the huge UHC Memorial statue of Aureylian rising high on the other side of the room. Tubes were attached to the statue in various places, and the statue's face, arms and chest were covered with ladders. "Well," said Beef, "we know what happened to the statue, at least."

"Yeah, but why?" asked Guude.

"She kinda looks like Chucky," Beef said as he stared at the statue.

"Maybe we can figure out more if we examine the terminals," Baj suggested. It was a good idea, so the three of them went over to the banks of computers to find something that might explain what was going on. A button was blinking with a red light. Beef pushed it.

"No, Beef, we don't…" Guude began to say before a window appeared on the monitor.

"It's about time you got back to me, nyah," a voice said through the speakers. The person saying those words turned to face the camera. If they could have seen his eyes behind the goggles he wore they would have seen them open wide. "Oh shit!" Vechs said before he cut the video feed short and the window disappeared.

"Didn't see that coming," Guude said.

"What the actual heck is going on here?" asked a booming yet familiar voice from above. They looked up to see the Aurey statue come to life. As she moved her arms and legs the tubes ripped off, hissing with steam.

"Bloody Hell!" Baj said.

"We are gonna need bigger swords," Guude remarked as he stared up at the Aurey statue in horror.

"Get 'er, Pause," Beef ordered.

The Aurey statue advanced on them, fists rising to pummel Team Nancy Drew into dust. "Huh, wha?" Pause said, shaking his head vigorously. "Get who?" He blinked his eyes a few times. "Where am I?" He spotted the giant Aurey statue waddling forward like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man. "What. The. Fu…"