Okay, I'm finally back with the story! I get so distracted by thinking of what I'm going to do in the last few chapters that I forget that I'm writing the actual story "write" now. No to the pun? Okay.
I'm so happy right now because somehow, somewhere, I have gotten 10 reviews in one chapter! Wow, how is that even possible? Thank you reviewers so much! (Insert Heart Emoticon Here)
Now onto these lovely reviews!
"WildChild13"- You do see an oncoming plot ;) and thanks so much! I can make little Pebblekit come around in this chapter! I'm probably just going to make my own little personality for him.
Wishingcat888- Nice one! I'll be sure to
"Guest"- Thank you!
Foxtail of Stormclan- I don't find having dialogue of two characters in the same text bad, I think it depends on writing style. I'll look into it and if you're right then thank you for the advice! I might try this chapter following that and see if it looks better.
Frostshard- What are you, a poet? I really liked reading that! I underline you for the amazing little work you made.
The Striking Storms- Yay, thanks! And maybe ;) depends on how the chapter's going to turn out. I don't know for certain what I'm doing yet though, haha! As a mentor of one of the main characters your OC will show up much more in the later chapters. Just keep your eyes open!
Wolf of the Indians- Cheers! And I totally agree. When the main character loses something, you always feel it with them ;) I will hate my own characters eventually, I just know it.
"Flamewing"- Haha, I would let you burn him, but Nettle has his own fate. You'll see!
Rosestream- Thanks! I really do love to hear it. You're stories are great too!
Kayixxu- Thank you! I appreciate the review.
Now that these amazing reviewers of you 200-something viewers have been acknowledged, off to the actual writing:
~()~
Amberkit sat peacefully in the Thunderclan camp, her gaze sharp in watching as she took the time to simply settle down and see what her clan was doing when she wasn't in the midst of playing. Sunlight speckled the golden brown earth as a few wisps of clouds half-blocking the sun gave way to let the light through. It was a warm day of the late greenleaf, and every cat seemed happy to have their bellies filled. As she looked around with her tail around her paws, Amberkit observed the new apprentices practicing, the younger kits playing, new warriors gossiping, and a few elders sharing tongues. Everything was normal, and a part of her marvelous life.
Over the passing five moons, not much had happened in the clan. Lionpaw, Goldenpaw, Snowpaw, Icepaw, and Lilypaw were renamed apprentices, as were the new warriors; Brackenflight, Sandnose, and Duskfeather. Whitepetal moved into the nursery and recently had two babies; Pebblekit and Rainkit, and to the elder kits the duo was quite annoying, and Amberkit couldn't help but agree with them sometimes. With all of their running and shouting, no cat could be in peace with those kits hanging around. Two she-cats, Cherryleaf and Sagecloud, had passed away from greencough, and Treetail had moved to the elder's den. Aside from a few border skirmishes with Shadowclan, that was really all that had recently happened, but Amberkit's popularity still kept on rising gradually each moon. By now, almost every cat in the clan loved her. If they didn't, they were likely just envious of her beauty, or her talent.
Amberkit was snatched from her thoughts by a playful caterwaul sounding beside her. She turned her head as gracefully as she could manage, hardly trying to look modest, and glared at Pebblekit and Rainkit. "Keep quiet, will you please?" She meowed, her voice soft but demanding. Both kits nodded their heads quickly, and Pebblekit squeaked; "Of course we will! We're sorry."
Amberkit nodded, a sparkle in her gaze. She loved being one of the only cats these kits would listen to besides their Mother. She knew she was a pretty great role model, but she didn't have anyone to look down on until the younger kits were born. In some ways, she loved them, and in others, they were pretty much pests. It really depended on her mood, but no matter how she felt at the moment the little ones would always listen. That was a good thing. Perhaps as she got older even more cats would listen to her, and not just compliment her. She already had the quarter-moon older kits on her side for everything, and the apprentices loved to be the ones to help teach her the things that they had recently learned, especially the toms.
As Pebblekit and Rainkit scampered away full of giggles, she noticed Robinkit padding up to her, followed by Nightkit and Lightkit. She tipped her head to the side at their arrival, and gently questioned; "Yes?" in her lovely voice. Amberkit quickly leaned back though when she realized Robinkit wasn't slowing down, and he brushed up against her, almost close enough to have them bowl over each other. She felt a hot pelt against hers, and the light ginger tom pulled back, flustered. "S-Sorry!" He apologized quickly, and it was all Amberkit could do to swallow up sudden anger. She couldn't be rude to him, especially when it was only an accident… she just wished cats would be more careful around her.
"Oh- its fine, I suppose" Amberkit mewed, ruffling her pelt. "Did you need something?"
"Actually," Nightkit mewed in her quiet voice. "We were just wondering if you could hang out with us, if-if you're not too busy…"
Amberkit blinked at Nightkit and gave a quick reply. "Well, I am a little busy, but I can hang out, if you all really want me to."
Robinkit nodded a bit too eagerly, and Amberkit found herself having to stifle a purr of amusement. She knew that the tom kit had a crush on her; it was obvious by the way he acted when he was with her. As flattered as she was, she knew it wouldn't really work out. Who she really liked was Lionkit. The broad, handsome golden tom was very sweet to her now that he'd matured, and his pelt, now silky, was as dazzling as the sun. Whenever he looked at her, his usually fierce amber eyes were warm and glowing, but still held a hint of mysteriousness within them that Amberkit couldn't help but love. Through some bits of gossip here and there, Amberkit found that Petalpaw and Lightkit liked him too, and she could understand why. He was probably the best looking young cat in the clan, as well as the kindest. And with how Lionpaw treated little Amberkit, she figured he liked her best, but was that really a question?
The pretty tortoiseshell internally shook away the arrogant thoughts, and dipped her head towards Robinkit. "Of course we can, then," She chirped, getting onto her paws. She loved seeing the excitement on their faces. And, especially, she loved being loved.
…
(By the way, a … means a scene change for the same cat, and a ~()~ shows a different POV, whether it's from me, Jade, or Amber! Just want to put that out there to ease up any possible confusion. I won't say this every time, I promise!
…
"Let all cats old enough to catch their own prey gather beneath the highrock for a clan meeting!" The loud, gruff voice of Amberkit's father and Thunderclan's leader; Duststar, rang over the camp. Suppressing a groan, Amberkit blinked her eyes open to a sliver of sunlight shining blindingly against her face. As much as she didn't like waking up rather early, she knew that whatever her father had to say was always important. And this time, it was most likely going to be Robinkit, Nightkit, and Lightkit's apprentice ceremony. As much as she wanted to, Amberkit couldn't exactly miss her followers' apprentice ceremony, since it would give the older cats a bad impression. She wanted to be loved by more than just kits, and gain a popularity she knew she could get. It would just take some time.
"Today we gather to take the young of our clan, and begin having them trained in the ways of Thunderclan warriors." At this, Amberkit leapt to her paws hurriedly, yawning while trotting out as soon as she could. The ceremony was already starting, and she couldn't just ruin it by being a little late! As Amberkit broke into the fresh outside air, Duststar's voice sounded again; "Robinkit, step forward."
Amberkit sat down in the back of the crowd, a bit self-conscious about her messy "just-woke-up" fur, so she watched the ceremony while lapping her silky pelt gingerly. The tortoiseshell looked up momentarily to see Robinkit shaking with excitement, and watched with joy for her friend. "Robinkit, from this day forward you will now be known as Robinpaw." The newly named apprentice looked like he would burst any heartbeat. "Brownpelt, you are a fine warrior, and have trained Breezetail and Stormshade well. I believe you can pass down as much skill to Robinpaw as you did with them." Robinpaw leapt down with a happy glance at Amberkit, and bumped noses with his mentor.
Amberkit blinked slowly at him, trying to pass on her cheers. She suddenly felt a warm pelt against her, and saw her mother looking down at her fondly. "That will be you soon," Rosemoon murmured softly, lapping at her daughter's pelt. Amberkit leaned towards her mother, and looked back up to the ceremony, a beam in her gaze. "Lightkit, please step forward," The leader bellowed next, and the rose-cream she cat bounded up to Duststar, almost as excited looking as her brother was. "Lightkit, from this day forward you will be known as Lightpaw. Cloudspot will mentor you. I trust she will do a marvelous job with your training, and that her wisdom will be passed onto you." Lightpaw skipped up to her new mentor, touching noses with the happy looking warrior.
Amberkit purred as Lightkit bounded past, making at least an effort to seem happy. She loved these kits a lot, but she had to swallow down a small pang of jealousy as she watched them become apprentices. She wanted to be an apprentice too! Someday though, as her mother told her, she would be right there with them, and with how much skill she already had, she was bound to be great.
"Nightkit, please come forward," Duststar continued the ceremony, blinking at the young black she-cat. Nightkit instantly stepped up to her leader, seeming as if she were keeping herself contained, but her sparkling eyes gave her joy away. Duststar straightened. "Nightkit, from this day forward you will be known as Nightpaw. Brackenflight, you have proved your worth numerous times, and I believe you deserve your first apprentice. You will be mentoring Nightpaw." A few small cheers for the young warrior erupted from the crowd, as Nightpaw tapped noses with her new mentor. Brackenflight looked almost as excited as his apprentice, and both cats were waving their tails delightedly.
Amberkit was about to begin cheering the apprentices' names with the clan, as intended for each ceremony by tradition, when she heard her father meow unexpectedly; "Amberkit, come forward,"
The young she-cat looked up, letting out a small squeak of confusion. The gathered cats began to turn and look at her, at first seeming just as puzzled as she was, and then joyful and congratulating. Awkwardly, Amberkit stumbled up to the highrock, her heart pounding with joy. My apprentice ceremony? Now? I can't believe it's early!
"Amberkit, it is known that you are but six moons old." The dark brown leader rumbled, looking at his daughter fondly. "However, I feel you are ready to receive your training as an apprentice."
Amberkit looked at her assembled clanmates below, and noticed the happiness in their faces. She was also able to see something else, though. Hope? Ambition? She figured most of the cats in the clan would want to have her as an apprentice, for she was talented, pretty, and the leader's daughter. In ways, what more could a mentor want in an apprentice? Nothing that she could think of, of course, but she never thought about a mentor that she would want. As her father was about to begin speaking once more, Amberkit started to hope for somecat good. A young, agile cat would be ideal… or maybe an elder, stronger one. Her thoughts were interrupted again at Duststar's voice booming: "Amberkit, from this day forward you will be known as Amberpaw. As your father and leader, I will be your mentor," Amberpaw nearly squealed with excitement. She wasn't very surprised that he was mentoring her, but she was happy she would be mentored by the best cat in the clan! With the ceremony being nearly complete, the other new apprentices stepped forward onto the rock beside Amberpaw, standing side by side with obvious pride. Amberpaw, though, was proudest of all.
"Robinpaw! Lightpaw! Nightpaw! Amberpaw!" The clan cheered, and Amberpaw noticed with a hint of conceit that they were calling her name the loudest.
~()~
NOW we have Jade. I won't be doing this again, promise! I don't want confused readers though!
~()~
Jade lay in her family's nest during the night, awake and irritable. She was almost unable to simply close her eyes and relax with how much noise there was, and she knew without a doubt that her mother was the same way, and she, of course, knew why. Nettle.
The young tom had been coughing all night. Choking and hacking on absolutely nothing. Jade had asked him a few times to try and quiet down, but all she got in return was another cough on her face, and a stern scolding from her mother. Even if she were deaf, the amount of shaking Nettle gave when he went into a coughing fit was enough to keep a mangy fox awake, and that was exactly how Jade was feeling too.
Over the past few moons, much had changed between Jade and her family. Mother favoring Nettle was still the same, of course, but she was also being occasionally kind to little Jade. When Nettle was asleep and Mother wasn't busy, the two would mock fight or hunt, giving Jade an opportunity to train a bit. By now, she was able to catch a slow rodent, just as long as she was in a more open area. She wasn't very gifted with all of this hunting and fighting stuff, but she was glad she knew how, it was pretty fun.
Jade stiffened as she felt Nettle's body contract, and she groaned aloud when he burst into another fit of coughing. Mother didn't seem as upset as Jade was. "My poor little Nettle," she mewed softly, nuzzling him. "You'll get better soon, I promise,"
Jade could see the silhouette of Nettle nodding weakly, and turned away, burning with jealousy. Mother never treated her so well when she was sick. She got upset with Jade once because her daughter threw up inside of their den. It wasn't Jade's fault she got the rotten piece of prey while Nettle got the fresh!
Mother suddenly began to mumble softly, and Jade rested her head back on her paws. Nettle was hacking again, but it slowly seemed to fall away as Jade closed her eyes.
…
Jade woke with a start as she heard a few nonchalant melodies being chirped out around her from the birds perched outside, and she stretched her jaws open in a wide yawn. Sunlight filtered through the woven top of the den, dappling the ground with golden spots and making it almost impossible to stay asleep, as tired as Jade already seemed to be. I'm surprised, the young she-cat thought, blinking away heavy grogginess from her eyes. How in the name of spirits did I fall asleep with all of Nettle's coughing? A sudden jolt hit her as she thought of Nettle, and she felt the faintly warm body beside her as still as a stone. When she turned, she saw a ruffled Nettle sprawled upon the mossy nest, his eyes glazed over but only open in tiny slits, and his mouth parted open. Jade widened her eyes and gasped. Though she never liked her cruel brother, she never thought she would find him so helpless... and so sickly. "Nettle? Nettle, are you okay?!" She started again, her voice pitching in fright. "Mother! Mother wake up!"
The large ginger she-cat blinked open her eyes slowly, obviously exhausted, and lifted her head. "What is it, Jade," she growled, her voice edged with irritation.
Jade nudged her brother. "Nettle's not waking up!" she practically screamed. Being a kit, Jade had only heard a few stories of death, and she just couldn't imagine that someone of her family could be dead so easily. Heather jerked her head up and stared at her son with disbelief. There was silence for a moment, before she said finally. "Nettle?"
Jade shifted nervously, glancing at her Mother and then back to her stagnant brother. She nearly flinched when she heard her usually calm and cold mother meow so hysterically; "Nettle? Oh, Nettle! Wake up! Wake up now!" Heather was now wailing with grief. "It was just a cough! Come back to us! Come back!"
Jade blinked, her gaze suddenly fuzzy. As much as she hated Nettle she never thought about how much he was needed around with them. He kept Mother going, and he was able to bring the three cats closer together in some way or another. If he were gone… the two she-cats would fall apart. And now he was gone.
"Mother?" Jade mewed quietly, her voice hardly audible. She saw her Mother sitting with her back faced towards the two kits, and a silent sigh escaped from the larger cat. "You were always so beautiful Jade…" she meowed softly, startling the little white she-kit. "It's a shame you look so much like your father…"
"I-I'm sorry…" Stuttered Jade, shuffling her paws, but Mother didn't say anything in return. Wordlessly, she scooped up the dead kit by the scruff and carried him outside. He would soon be lost to the earth forever.
~()~
Alright, I finally finished that chapter! I didn't have much positive writing attitude to make it very fast, but in the end I really did want to post!
Now, before I cut to a close, I'd like to ask just out of curiosity; how old do you think I am? Most authors do this later, but since I just had a birthday pass by, I'd like to know what people think now. Please tell me honestly, I'd like to know how well I'm writing :)
Thank you again so much for reading and reviewing! I never expected more than four or five reviews at this point. I was very pleasantly surprised! See you all next chapter.
~Star ;)