A/N: I don't know what to say except that I'm sorry for the delay…

As usual, sorry for any misspelling, grammar mistake, and character OOC, seeing I don't own gintama and English is not my mother language.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gintama. If I did I already made OkiKagu cannon.

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Hijikata Toushirou is not a stupid man. After all, he is a vice commander of the notorious Shinsengumi, feared and respected by his subordinate (except the first division captain). His work required him to always focused on every detail no matter in which situation he's in, even in his day off. You will always had enemy in every situation you're in, that's what you get the moment you got in the Shinsengumi, so it's natural to always keep alert of everything around you.

The moment she (he) walked in, he already had his suspicion on her (him). That long black hair made into a side ponytail, posture and the height. Even with a make up or voice that was softer than usual, you can't just hide your natural gender that easily after all.

Hijikata was 100% sure, this cabaret woman in front of him is actually Katsura Koutarou, the leader of Jouishisi.

Huh. How bold. He knew he's in Shinsengumi's headquarter and he dared to show his face in this place, unarmed. He hoped the Yorozuya really didn't know about his real identity, because if they indeed were working together, he will also had to arrest them. Suddenly the fire he had once lost were coming back.

Hijikata Toushiro swore, this night, no matter what, Katsura Koutarou would be arrested.

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Chapter 3: sometimes, uninvited guest is the one who make the party lively

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"SA-CHAN?!"

Every eyes were looking at the uninvited guest. The girl kept clinging to the silver haired man who just kept sit still with his dead eyes because of the shock. The lavender haired ninja glared at everyone in the room while the glasses pulled his own haired with such frustration that can make you got bald if you kept pulling it like that.

"WHYY? WHY HER TIMING ALWAYS BAD?"

"Ano… excuse me." Said the gorilla who had already recovered. "Did you said that the Yorozuya is your fiancé?"

"Yes. That's right." The girl snort. "We already planned to get married tomorrow."

"Eh?! That soon?" Like a frog ready to be eaten by the snake, the gorilla froze seeing the girl's glare. With such carefulness you won't ever got by the said gorilla, he continued, "But what about Zurako-san?"

"Zurako-san?" looking at the cabaret girl in the room, Sa-chan laughed like the evil mother-in-law in many afternoon drama. "Gin-san would never like this transvestite. After all, he like genuine women with large boobs like mine." Sa-chan clung harder than before, her breast pushed to the arm of the perm haired man she clung to. "Ne… tell them the truth, Gin-san."

"Transvestite?" Hijikata glared.

"Eh? Is that true?" Kondo looked at the boss of Yorozuya with such innocent eyes.

"A..ahahaha. What are you guys talking about? I already told you, I and Zurako-chan will get married soon." Gintoki nervously laughed while trying to be free from the grip. "Besides, I don't even know this woman. Look at my face, do I looked like I fancy some M stalker girl like her?"

"Gin-san… how dare you…" the ninja looked straight at the perm's eyes with her teary eye, making Gintoki started to feel bad for a while (the key word is for a while). "What about that night when you *** me and ****. Or the *** you did for me, Oh, and ****. How would you explained that? And *** and –"

"Yorozuya, you can't be like that." Kondo shake his head full of disappointment. "No matter what, she's still a girl. A frail and innocent girl who need you right now. You had to take responsibility."

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I NEVER DONE IT ALL IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!"

Sa-chan shivered to the glare from Gintoki. "Kya…KYAAA! GIN-SAN. GOOD, GIN-SAN! GLARED AT ME LIKE THAT! AH…GIN-SAN! YES! THAT'S FEEL GOOD! PLEASE PUNISH ME LIKE YOU MEAN IT!" The crazy stalker squealed, making everyone in the room sweat dropped.

Zurako stand, making everyone's eyes immediately drawn to him. "Hey. I don't know who you are or what's your relationship with Gintoki or what's your problem with me, I couldn't care less about it. But if you dare make my friend felt uncomfortable, I won't hesitate to do whatever I need to make you sorry!"

Sa-chan who just kept focusing on her Gin-san that entire night, for the first time in that night, really looking at the cabaret girl. With such glare she then said, "my problem with you, is that you kept clinging at Gin-san, like he really loves you. Such delusion! He clearly loves me! You said that I making your friend uncomfortable, but clearly you disturb said friend's relationship! You and your fake elegance can just go to hell, you damn transvestite! Everyone know how fake you are!"

"Transvestite? Fake elegance?"

Sa-chan snort. "Hah. You face structure is that of men. If I didn't know better, I would say that you're a man disguising as a woman. Everyone know it already. For example…" Sa-chan looked around. "That really plain guy over there! Clearly he looked disgusted at your appearance. Oi! Said it! I'm right, aren't I?"

"What? Me?"

Zurako shrug. "You can talk all you want, but I'm sure you won't be able to satisfied men like I did. You can't say that you're a woman if you can't do that, after all."

"Hah! I just need that ability to satisfy Gin-san!"

Zurako snort. "If you can't even satisfy one man, clearly you can't satisfy Gintoki. He's strict about his woman after all, and that's one of the reason he choose me to go to this party, instead of you. Isn't that right, Gintoki?"

"Wait. Don't involve me you damn - "

"Interesting." Sa-chan crossed her hand and smirked. "So you challenged me to decide which one of us is the true woman. Sure. I accept your challenge. We'll seduce one of the men in here and make him decided which one of us is the winner."

"You can choose. Whoever is he, I'll win after all."

"So cocky, we'll see who had the last laugh." Sa-chan looked around. 'I can't choose Gin-san. I don't want him to be seduced by that transvestite. That gorilla is too stinky, that glasses look like he's still a virgin, he won't understand the art of seduction. Hmm.. Ah! that's right.'

"That v bang guy over there! We'll seduce him and see which one of us is the true woman!"

"Oi! What the hell?"

"Ok. Just you see, this will be a piece of cake."

Both woman (well, one of them is a guy) grab both arm of the notorious vice chief of Shinsengumi. The glasses girl pressed herself onto him while the black haired one with such elegance trying to feed him.

"Oi, stop! Stay away from me!"

"Ah, how cute! Don't be shy like that. Here, you can feel more."

"And you! I'm full already! Just go away!"

"Toushirou-san. I know you want it. Don't be shy and just eat."

"At least give it some mayonnaise!"

"Oi! Are you heard me?!"

"Stop!"

'WHY DID IT BECOME LIKE THIS? AND KATSURA-SAN, YOU'RE A MAN IN THE FIRST PLACE! WHY DO YOU WANT TO PROVE YOUR WOMANHOOD ANYWAY?'

Hijikata who can't hold it anymore immediately stood up. "Enough!" Everyone stop their activity and looked at the demon vice chief of Shinsengumi. "I had it enough with all this!" He suddenly looked at Zurako. "You! I already know your true identity, so you can stop your act. Just tell us your real name. I know you're Katsura Kotarou, the leader of Jouishishi!"

For a moment, times seems to stop.

"A..ahahaha. What are you talking about, Oogushi-kun. Zurako is Zura? Impossible!"

"Ye.. yes, Hijikata-san. You're clearly mistaken." 'IMPOSSIBLE! HOW CAN HE KNOW? THEN WHAT WILL HAPPENED TO ME? I DON'T WANT TO GO TO THE JAIL MUCH LESS DIE DOING SEPUKKU!"

"I don't know if you're involve in this, Yorozuya, to invite him here knowing he is Katsura" Hijikata pulled Zurako's hair. "I know you're using a wig! Just reveal yourself already, Katsura!"

The said man immediately stood up and grab the demon's hand, force him to release his grip. "I don't use any wig! And that's not how you do it if you want to revealed me, you should do it like this!" Zurako grab some glass of tea in the table and poured it to his face. With his make-up gone, the one who stood there is no other than Katsura Kotarou, the leader of the notorious Jouishishi.

Everyone could only look at the scene, eyes wide opened.

"KATSURA KOTAROU!"

Times seems to stop at that moment. Nobody dared to open his mouth to start some conversation. Only the sound of umbrella and sword was heard clashing each other outside of the room.

Gintoki stood up and opened the shoji. With such speed he threw a glass to the direction of the sound. "Quiet! Don't you know that this is an important situation? If you want to flirt just go to some desolated park or wherever you want to!" The glass hit the two young adult's head, successfully knock them out and making the room quiet again.

'AHHH! WHY DID ZURA HAD TO BE AN IDIOT LIKE THIS?!'

In a blink of the eye, everyone stood up, hands reached their own katana. From Hijikata, even Yamazaki held it. Not forgetting Saito Shimaru with his double sword style.

"Wait! Since when did Shimaru-san stay in this room?!"

Everyone looked at the tsukomi. The Shiroyasha said with his deadpanned voice. "You didn't notice? He's already here since chapter 2. How could you, Patsuan."

"BUT THE AUTHOR DIDN'T MENTION HIM FROM THE BEGINNING!"

Gintoki picked his nose while showing the glasses some pictures. "Nah. Everyone but you had already notice him from the beginning. Just look at this. In some of the panel you could see a part of his signature hair. You're just careless. Don't feel bad, it's ok. Everyone sometimes do that. But you had to be extra careful next time, you're the tsukomi after all."

"THIS IS FANFICTION, NOT MANGA! HOW COULD I LOOKED AT THE PICTURES LIKE THAT?!"

"Besides, the author had already told us that the remaining one in the room are gorilla's close friends and companions in arm, so of course Shimaru-kun also present. Unless..." Gintoki looked deep at the glasses. "You forget his existence…"

Shinpachi gulped looking at the third captain of the Shinsengumi. "A… ah… no… I just…"

"Enough!" the v bang demon cut the unimportant conversation made by the author to lengthened the story. "What's important now is Katsura." He made a stance ready for battle. "Prepare yourself, Katsura!"

People in the room immediately draw their weapon. Yorozuya in the side just looking at the battle with horror in their eyes, while Sa-chan eat the leftover food in the table (What? Did you forgot her existence?). Yes, deep down in their heart they know that this will happen sooner or later, you know, what could you expected from Yorozuya anyway? But today was supposed to be a good day, why couldn't they get a peaceful day, even if it just for one day?

Hijikata's katana nearly cut his enemy's long hair when suddenly a voice stop him. "Stop! Toshi!" All the occupant in the room immediately drawn to the source of the voice, a gorilla siting at his throne, not moving even by 1 inch. "Put your katana back."

With hesitance, the demon vice chief of Shinsengumi follow his superior's order. "Why, Kondo-san? Katsura is in front of our own eyes! Why can't we catch him now?"

Kondo raised his eyebrows. "Katsura? Isn't she Zurako-san?

Hijikata swore he really need his mayonnaise right there and now. He respect Kondo-san, really, he is. But sometimes, his superior can be.. how did he put it in a nice word… dense?. "Kondo-san! Don't you see? He's already revealed himself as Katsura. We need to arrest him now before he ran away!"

Kondo sighed. "What I looked in front of my eyes right now, Toshi, is an elegant woman named Zurako, the number one cabaret girl hired to liven up this party." Kondo looked at his subordinate. "Why did you fight against some innocent frail woman like her. Our job is to protect the citizen, not making them feel uneasy."

"But Kondo-san –"

"No but." Kondo smiled. "Well, what are you waiting for? Let's continue the party, the night is still young after all. Come, Yorozuya, don't be shy."

And the party continue just like that. It did feel awkward for a moment, but after a few minute and the Shinsengumi are getting drunk, the awkwardness is gone. You can see the Jimmy of Shinsengumi put some mayonnaise to his anpan while Hijikata beside him give him some lecture about the history of mayonnaise and it's benefit for our health (if there is any). Zurako continue to be by Kondo's side, serving him some sake. The party was very lively and everyone was laughing.

Sa-chan keep clinging to Gintoki, pressing her chest to the Shiroyasha while the said man looked at the party without trying to release himself from her grip, face flushed because of the alcohol. They both looked at the star of the party and his cabaret girl.

"You know, Gin-san, I can't stop to think that the gorilla actually knew that bitch's real identity."

"You're right." Gintoki drank his sake while looking at the 2 men. "Clearly he knew, maybe even from the start. I don't know why he said all that stuff, maybe he just want to be civil with Katsura even for one night, but who am I kidding. Maybe he just didn't want to ruin this party made especially for him, he rarely got times to shine after all."

Sa-chan put her head onto Gintoki's shoulder, eyes still trained to the unlikely duo.

"But at least, just for this night, they looked like old friends meeting for the first time in a while."