Author's note: you may notice these don't really fit the humour theme- but truth is I'm not all that funny so cracky semi-serious stuff for all! (there will be funnier stuff next time and hopefully shorter stuff) All the drabbles (okay mini stories- I suck at making things short) were inspired by: http:/ ruttadk .deviantart. com /gallery/#/d2rcx5y if anyone has any characters they would like to see interact or situations just request and I'll do them next chapter.

I may have an OP4: Artie/Tina/Mike/jeans

Tina was starting suspect Glee was a big more of a costly venture than first expected. It was alright for girls like Quinn and Rachel; they already had clothing like the stuff they have to wear for the performances. She expects that that's why they push so hard for those kinds of clothing for the performances in the first place.

She guesses it could have been worse, she could be Artie, who had, had to borrow Kurt's jeans for they're first number 'push it'- and then later had to buy a set for several other jean related numbers. Tina suspected Artie had given Kurt some money to get them and tried not to think about having to wear jeans, which he hated.

She just didn't understand how everyone in Glee had these similar kinds of clothes with the obvious exceptions of Artie and her own 'unique' styles. Okay so no, what she couldn't understand is how everyone in glee already had coloured skinny jeans- what had Miley Curys become cool when she wasn't looking? She didn't think so.

So it was just her and Artie, Oh and Mike who had looked just as confused about the whole jean situation as they were. He was now thumbing through a wrack of Jeans muttering to himself. "How is it even possible they all have these pants," he threw aside a pair of bright purple and black jeans in disgust; Tina privately made a mental note of where he had thrown them. "Well Strictly speaking they didn't need red pants, we were split four people into four groups with a colour." Artie pointed out, trying to reach for a promising folded set on a higher shelf.

"The other jocks got blue, lucky bastards! That's the last time I show up late for rehearsals," he shoved another set back on the hanger- they were red… but with neon yellow stripes and looked vaguely reminiscent of The Flash's pants. Tina pulled down the jeans Artie had been reaching for, "I wonder where Brittney got hers" she wondered out loud.

"Got them!" Artie held up a red pair in triumph, "awesome! Are they in my size?" Mike leaned directly over Artie, Tina stifled a laugh and glad Mike wasn't tall like Finn or that would be a really uncomfortable for Artie, though she thinks he must be used to looking at crotches all day anyway. "Here, what's your size?"

Tina wondered off to the girl side, where it was much easier to find coloured jeans without digging through the half priced bin. She quickly changed to see if they fit and ran back over to the boys were, but they were being yelled at by a manager, Artie looked sort of amused and Mike looked sort of like he might punch the guy in the face. As she got closer she could hear "-can't just go in the change rooms together, don't think I don't know what you people do in there."

He looked them up and down; Artie was half holding Mike back decidedly less amused, holding him by the wrist and the back of his shirt. "What are you stupid? You don't have to disability stall here, he needs someone to assist him!" he yelled before snatching both sets of jeans from the manager, stalking over to Tina and taking hers to, with a curt "if they don't fit I'll return them" and stomped off to pay.

Later when they had pretzels and Mike could speak coherently again they all talked, "you shouldn't take it personally Mike, Tina," Artie said not unkindly, but he didn't think either friend heard him. "I just- people like that- they're not my kind of people." Mike admitted decidedly, Tina nodding eminently. Tina slung her arm around each friend for comfort and Artie broke out into a wide grin and said "well that's alright because you're my kind of people," and all three grinned, looking down at the stupid matching red jeans they were wearing. Turns out they were all a perfect fit.

In which honesty is received in a form of a bitchslap

Finn had expected some retribution for the- the 'thing' he had said to Kurt. He knew it was wrong the second he had said it, but he hadn't been wrong, not about saying the 'thing'. That had been wrong. Very wrong, it was everything else and now It was like it hadn't really happen at all. Yeah Kurt's dad had reamed him out and temporarily thrown him out, but he had apologised and explained and Burt turned the study into a bedroom for him. They then sort of pretended nothing had happened. Cased closed.

So weeks later; he was not expecting his door kicked in by a furious Mercedes. "FINN" she yelled, it was a real angry yell too, and Finn would know, he had all kinds of experience with angry women. "er- hi Mercedes?" he asked weakly, remote control previously in hand dropped to the floor. "You awful, stupid bastard!"

Kurt rushed in from downstairs at the noise "who died!" he asked watching in surprise as Mercedes pulled Finn off the floor by his shirt, throwing him on the couch. He then let out his on yelp and Mercedes pulled him to the couch by his scarf ("gently, gently you know how much this costs!")

She stood in front of them angry and steaming for a while, silent. Then she said "so I was talking to Tina today," both boys winced "yeah she's not very good at keeping her mouth shut now that she can talk properly." Both hands were on her hips, "She said three weeks ago Artie got a late night call, rushed over here." Finn had made the call, Kurt's father had left and Finn couldn't bear to go back in that room and make it worse and he was so angry he knew he would.

Artie had sort of lost his shit at Finn too, though his voice had been perfectly calm, Finn had never seen Artie that upset. Finn had carried him downstairs and when they came back up in the morning everything was alright. Finn hated to agree with Puck, especially on something so stupid, but Artie really must have some sort of 'everything's okay' magic power. Which was totally cool but so not the point.

"The things said," her voice was uneven, and Kurt looked like he wanted to cry all over again, "from both of you." She looked very pointed at that, and Finn suddenly felt a little relieved. Sure Mercedes was completely crazy right now and angry as hell at Finn, but maybe she didn't actually agree with the way Kurt had been treating Finn, the way he was still treating him.

"I can't even believe," she sat down on the coffee table in front of them, "I know you haven't talked about it, I mean you called Artie for God's sake. And as much as I love Artie his motto is practically 'sit down you're rocking the boat.'" Kurt let out a sob laugh and Finn felt sick, his skin prickling up, so that thing with Artie had been a bigger thing than he thought. That look, those words.

"Well I don't believe in that," she stroked Kurt's hair a little, but looked Finn straight in the eye. "We're going to rock this boat until we all fall out dammit, don't worry I brought life jackets, now you. speak."

And Finn opened his mouth. And he spoke.

Until you make yourself sick

There had been a plan, go to the carnival, each carnival food and ride rides until they felt sick. Terri would have hated it, complained every step of the way, but smiled those secret smiles at him at the end on the day. The kind of forever smiles he missed so much, the kind that made him still feel an ache of longing- even if he could never act on it again- that when he kissed her, he just knew. That it was forever.

He had planned it for Emma though, she would have hated it too, she'd smile every step of the way while trembling at the thought of it all. She didn't smile forever smiles at him, she used to smile with longing, with trust and admiration. Now she barely smiled at him at all. He didn't feel an ache of longing, it was like his whole chest collapsed and he was on the best pain relief money could buy. Completely numb but totally aware.

He wanted her back. No, he wanted the her he never got to have because he had been stupid, or inconsiderate, or married or completely in love with his wife.

Now all he wanted was to be completely in love with Emma, and she just didn't have room for him anymore. He imagined taking her to a small place in the big maze of people. In the funhouse, or on the ferries wheel and just leaning over, and she wouldn't be mad she be happy and he-

"Mr Schu," Finn called waving his hand over his face, "are you alright?" asked Rachel curiously, he smile at her, at all the glee club. The background setting of the carnival, and said he was. Because it wasn't at all like he imagined but he was here, with people he loved. And that had to be enough.

"Okay guys who wants candy floss?"

Principal Figgins has no first name, why is that?

Principal Figgins leant back in his chair, nothing was getting done today. Children had been in and out the office all day. He had been calling the glee club in one by one, he didn't want to but- Will and Sue care about the whole thing to frightening and obsessive levels and frankly he was not sure how healthy it all was. For anyone.

So the interviews, nothing interesting so far; most were well adjusted with other extra curricular activities, and he could see one or two collage bound, as well as one or two drop outs and pregnant too young. And he wasn't even done. He called in Santana Lopez.

He was a little surprised when the other girl, Brittney something-a-rather in toe, their pinkies linked "girls," he started sternly and both girls sat down, skirts hiked so he had to look away. "I need to see you one at a time," the blond looked worried holding up their hands "we can't we're connected." Miss Lopez unhooked her finger leaving the other girl shocked.

"It should be okay," her voice was smooth and well oiled for a high school student, "you're just going to ask us the same questions anyway, right?" She took the other girls hand reassuringly and the girl looked please and smiled brightly. "yes well- ah I know both of you are outstanding students" on second thought "both of you are students. Both cheerleaders and members of Glee, correct?"

The blond nodded enthusiastically, "have there been any unusually happenings as of late." Maybe one of them would say something where the others had not, "they took my new bird, he was blue instead of green but they say I have to see the counsellor again." …. Okay.

"About glee," Santana rolled her eyes, "Oh! Artie can't walk! That's unusual," she smiled brightly, "no, you idiot he's always been that way." The other girl shot back, running her long fingers up the other girl's leg almost subconsciously, "no not always, he didn't have the chair when he was born or that would be really painful for his mum."

She nodded knowingly and reciprocated her friend's hand by brushing some stray hairs behind her friend's ear. "GIRLS!" he yelled sharply, neither hand moved but they both looked at him. "Is there anything unappropriated going on in glee club!"

They both blinked, Miss Lopez squeezed her friends thigh as smiled a Cheshire cat smile, "Of course not, Principal Figgins" the other girl gasped in surprise, "what ever gave you that idea?"

Being without you made me better

Ken had only just realised he hadn't done anything about football in a while.

Ken had spent the last month honing everything he had into Karate. He used to be actually really good, back when he was a kid and real skinny and had those glasses, karate had been important then- for survival. Though when he went through that huge growth spurt right before High School he gave up karate for football.

He just wasn't getting anything out of football anymore or anything really. So he was cramming it full of things he used to care about, Karate, old comics, hell he even started talking to his father. He had reconnected when his father handed him that beer when he told him the wedding was off.

He tried new things too, photography was a wash though- frankly too girly, and dancing had turned out too painful. But he liked golf. And now he had something to be other than Coach Tanaka.

Other than Emma's boyfriend, Emma's Fiancé, Emma's ex and then just that one guy I used to know.

He wanted to hate her, to be furious, but he couldn't. He loved her. And he hadn't gone in eyes closed, she had never loved him. So he tried being someone else, and that hadn't worked either. So now he was just trying to be a better version of the same guy.

Ken grabbed Finn up from drills by the collar and dragged him to the centre of the field. This was a new him, the better him, "GATHER LADIES," well he was okay, "I believe play time is over, I WANT YOU DOING SO MANY PUSH UPS YOU CAN LITERALLY TASTE THE DIRT!" well nobody was perfect. He shoved Finn to the ground.

What had be been thinking. He was awesome.

That's right Sue cheats on the Glee Club

Dear Journal,

I fear I am becoming complacent in my creativity. With Schuster off destroying his club and personal life in ways I could never have imagined I find myself at a loss. Schuster's hair is even more giant and painful to witness and after making the mandatory quip, I've been just- leaving. I have whipped them into a state of fear so they collapse in on themselves- assistance free.

So I have decided on a new project journal, or rather an old one. I am after all an educator first and foremost but looking back now I can't remember exactly what I'm supposed to be teaching. I'll have to look into that.

But Journal educating is so much more than just yelling at the brats in classrooms until you see piss stains and smell the putrid smell of victory. No it's yelling at the future losers of America outside the classroom, and remind them of their place. And I know what your thinking journal, Sue you do too much. Well yes, clearly, but that's the kind of educator I am. One that cares.

Now there's nothing I like more than the crushing the hopes on the prepubescent losers and remind them of there soon to be bright future; of being full grown and fully formed nobodies. But I need to think, despite what people think I don't just terrorise everyone, I put a special amount of time and effort into the moments I share with people at the school, sure I can drop in on a random session with me laying down my beats on the sly, but it's not really the Sue Sylvester way, I am so much more.

And then in a moment of clarity- or a moment when I was looking through my window, I saw him, powder puff- the whiny, perfectly quaffed Cherrio/Jock/glee club member/fashion enthusiast/square dancer. I had made him cry in the past, but this would be something special- maybe I'll scrap book it, isn't one of his oily, big mouthed friends in AV club. Something else to look into.

Speaking of which Mr Watkins from AV club has been getting pretty comfy this last week after that debacle with the paint. And I've barely even terrorised Garden club in weeks. I better go see if the boys down town have fixed my lawn mower.

I wanna hold your hand

It's not that Santana and Brittney spent every moment together, just the moments that counted. They had been friends' way before they were Cheerios, Santana had gone to middle school a district over, moving over just in time for high school, and she had dragged Brittney with her.

Brittney had been sweet, and enthusiastic and well completely stupid. But good enough people that she saw that Santana really did care, or did that make her even more stupid? Santana wasn't sure because people tended to back away when she cared, something about her being intense or whatever.

She had originally been gunning for head cheerleader, but found she had a lot more power when she was willing to use her *assets* in ways the holier than thou Quinn would (well at least that had been her official stance before baby gate.) Brittney took a little convincing, but found she loved attention, which was why she had joined the Cheerios, and everything had been alright.

Then glee had happened and Santana didn't even know what to make of that, but she held Brittney's hand and dragged her along anyway.

And then all of a sudden, Brittney let go for a while. She had new friends, she enjoyed other things, and other people were helping her out when she got confused. And she'd feel jealous for a minuet until Brittney would lock their pinkies together and Brittney would tell her that she loved her best.

Santana was sure that one day; soon even, she'd be able to say it back.

Beth

Will didn't know what he was supposed to feel for Quinn. Sometimes he looks at her and he thinks he might sob, she was everything Terri had been when they were still in love, and he could see all that fear and pain clearer than anything. The insecurities and the fake self assured attitude hiding someone genuinely good.

Then she had gotten pregnant. And if it had all gone according to Terri's plan that would have been his child and now looking at Quinn killed him. That baby had almost been his, but she also came close to being Finn's and most defiantly was Puck's not that the boy even had got to touch her before she was gone.

Sometimes he gets really low wishing that he could just take back everything that had happened, and seeing Quinn doesn't make it easier, because Quinn ended up being stronger, happier and healthier than that girl who she used to resemble, that girl he once used to love. He thinks maybe if he had been able to still love Terri, maybe that baby still could have been his.

Quinn had said she thought he would have been a great dad. But he could imagine the family they would have been, a family built on mistrust and lies and he can hear

'Beth I hear you calling, but I can't come home right now…."

Maybeher name wouldn't have been Beth but would that have made a difference.

Just look at that sweater vest, I sort of want to toss him in the dumpster

Santana had only ducked into the practice room for a second, just to dodge Coach Sylvester, who was on some kind of soul destroying mission and had ripped into both Kurt and Brittney at practice earlier. She didn't think anyone was in there, and at first she thought she had accidentally walked in on a couple making out, an all male couple. She looked again, it was Kurt which didn't lessen the gay theory but the other was Artie- who was… wow he was standing.

Okay so he had both arms wrapped around Kurt like they were waltzing or something, but his feet were firmly on the ground and he was sans a chair- like completely. "Where did you chair go?" both turned so fast she could almost feel the second-hand whiplash, Kurt almost dropped Artie, but regained his bearings and deposited Artie in the chair, which seemed to have been the plan anyway. Huh, Artie and Kurt were like exactly the same hight- maybe they should try and convince him to borrow clothes from his better dressed peer.

"Some jocks got it," Artie hand waved, his extremely ugly sweater vest looked stained and Kurt's button up looked a little worse for wear. Santana guess Artie had taken a dumpster dive first and they had dropped Kurt in a while later. Kurt must have lifted him out. "How did you guys even get here?" hands on hips, she couldn't imagine Kurt dragging him all the way out here.

Kurt smirked, wiggling his eyebrows in a totally unflattering way- what was she Brittney? "Artie's not the only one with super upper body strength," she didn't buy that for a second, she knew Artie must be built like some kind of tank- or she assumes after that agonising Proud Mary number which she managed to blister her hands through her protective gloves- but Kurt was skinny as hell, and was known to drop people.

"Did you get Finn to carry him?" she asked bluntly, there really was no other way and Finn liked Artie enough to do it, "I was going to, but I ran into Puck," Kurt supplied "he carried him between the last class," Kurt then actually snorted. "Bridal style."

Artie hit him hard, but Santana snorted an undignified laugh as well, since Puck was the most macho guy she knew. She looked around surreptitiously before saying "look if you stay here I'll look for it," she then gave them a warning look, she didn't want anyone to think she was being nice. She knew first hand how it was so not cool to run off with someone's mode of transport like last week when some bitch stole her stilettos from the locker room while she was at practice. She was still making her was through suspects, and had to borrow Brittney's spare shoes she kept for when she lost hers or gave them away- that girl had painfully narrow feet.

They both looked surprised, Artie grinned "thanks," that reminded her, "Actually you might want to keep hiding out, Brittney's looking for you." Ever since the 'what did we gain from glee club' speech she had been hunting Artie down, realising she hadn't kissed him yet. Tina was walking around like she sucked a lemon, so Artie had been trying to avoid the blond entirely.

"You know if she gets you she'll beat Puck," she added, then considered it, "I mean he's kiss every girl in glee club bar Tina and Brittney had just got you." Kurt laughed and Artie slumped into his chair and then proceeded to fall off, slumping too far. Both Santana and Kurt hoisted him up. "Okay I've got a good idea; they usually leave it on top of the bleachers- classic Puck but the other guys are blatant copy cats so it should be there. If I go now no one will see me doing this- if they do you're so on your own."

"Wait!" Artie called and then whisper something to Kurt and the both beckoned her back, when in reaching range they each grabbed a hand pulling her down. She received a kiss on the cheek from each simultaneously. They let go.

"Look likes your number one after all."

…PLEASE REVIW… (I'm like tinkerbell: need applause to live)