The Song: Numb, Linkin Park
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Even before Henry opened his eyes that morning, he knew it was a mistake.
The voice was already fading as he lay there, trying to cling to it for just one more second…
But when he opened his eyes, it was gone.
He remembered it, he knew what it had been saying…
But it was gone.
He lay silently, staring at the cracks in the ceiling, trying to hear the voice one more time.
Just one more time…
Even if they had been fighting in his dream, like always, he still wanted to hear it again.
Even if Shawn had been yelling at him, again, telling him all the things Henry already knew he thought, he still wanted to hear it again…
Just one more time…
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless lost under the surface
Don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
It was coming back to him now…
Not the voice itself; that was gone…gone…
But the rest of the dream slowly came back as Henry closed his eyes again and forced himself to remember.
They had been fighting…Shawn had been yelling…
But Henry had been calm.
For once, he didn't argue when Shawn told him he didn't want to be a cop, didn't want to be like his father, didn't want to have a job or a family or any of the things he was supposed to have…
Any of the things he would never have now…
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
For once, Henry had just listened as Shawn yelled at him…ranted at him, even.
Even if just in his dream…Henry had just listened…
Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control
Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
And every second I waste is more than I can take
Finally, when Shawn had stopped to take a breath, Henry got his two cents in.
"Shawn. I don't care."
Normally, when said that, it was with a biting, sarcastic edge.
But this time, even in his dream, it had been different.
This time, there was a painful, almost pleading twinge in his voice.
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Shawn regarded him skeptically.
"You don't care?"
Henry shook his head fiercely.
"I don't care, Shawn! About any of it!"
And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me with someone disappointed in you
"You don't care I'm not a cop?"
"I don't care."
"You don't care I've had 57 jobs since high school?"
"Shawn, you could have a million! I don't care."
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you
Finally, slow smile had spread across Shawn's face.
"You mean…I win? For once?"
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Henry had nodded again.
"Yeah, Kid. You win."
And then he woke up…