He didn't mean for this to happen. He could never have predicted a reaction like that. She consumed his thoughts every second of every day, all Hotch wanted was for her to back off a little so that maybe, he could have some peace. Now the idea of losing her was going to kill him. He knew nothing would justify his actions, pretending Emily was nothing to him, he was disgusted by himself. Who was he kidding? She was everything. That other women, she was nothing. He thought he could fool himself into believing another woman could compare to Emily. He was wrong. Sometimes he couldn't believe how stupid he was. He had to find her.
Immediately he excused himself from the young assistant and began to search. His heart beat against his chest harshly. His love for her was too strong, too vast to be held in such a tiny organ. At last such a declaration had been admitted. He loved her. "Fuck the rules", he thought. "Fuck the rules."
He made his way across the room towards the last remaining members of his team. "Morgan, where's Prentiss?"
"Yo dude- sir... where have you been? And who, who-who was the sexy lady?" he shouted, barely able to stand, nor speak.
"This is important, Morgan" Hotch glared, "Have you seen Prentiss?"
"Ok, Ok, chill man. I saw her earlier at her, um... her... DESK! Yeah, her desk. And damn, she did not look happy. What happened with you guys?"
Hotch didn't stick around to answer. He hoped Morgan would find someone to take him home- and Reid, who was now lay in the corner of the room rambling jargon to a sleepy and inebriated Rossi.
There was no sign of Emily. His eyes panned the room in hope. Nothing. He had surely lost her now. There was no way she would listen to reasoning after tonight. It was too late. He had thrown away his last real chance at happiness. There was nothing left to do. Quickly the room and the people around him became a blurr, the music screamed in his ear, the walls were spinning, he lost his balance and almost fell to the floor. He couldn't take it in here anymore. He needed to clear his head and so; he made his way to his office.
His office flooded with light as he shyly switched on the lights. He turned to shut and lock the door and began to walk across the room when all of a sudden, he halted. Lay across his green leather sofa was a beautiful, beautiful woman. Hair draped over her face, her shoes were kicked off and a bottle of champagne spilled at her side. He hesitated, not knowing what to do. Hotch had never seen Emily look so vulnerable, so angelic. His heart was struck with an overwhelming feeling of love and pain. Because of him, she was in this state and for that he would never forgive himself. Nevertheless he was relieved; finally he could speak to her. Make things right again- he believed he could do that. At the least she deserved an explanation.
He reached out to her and brushed his hand against her cheek. Instantly she awakened, and from the expression upon her face it was clear she was sober. His new found calmness quickly vanished and his heart once again, began to race. This wasn't going to be easy.