Warning: This chapter does go a bit graphic but not too much plus a bit of swearing!

John had made it back to Bobby's that night, deciding the first thing to do was check on the boys and once he seen they were fast asleep he headed back downstairs to where Bobby was. "Damn, what happen to you?" John asked as he seen the big swollen bruise on Bobby's face along with the nail marks.

"Dean freaked out when I tried to change his bandages, I tell ya that kid has a lot of fight in 'em."

"That he does, I'm just glad the fight hasn't left him after all those years."

"You and me both." Bobby sighed as he grabbed both him and John a beer. "So whatcha got there?" He asked motioning to the box John had sat on the table.

"Some tapes and clothes I found, it has Dean's name on it and the clothes Dean was wearing when he was taken."

"What are on the tapes?"

"Dunno, haven't watched them… don't really know if I should… or if I want too…" John sighed staring at the box. "I assume the worst is on them, I mean they were in that bastard attic and I'm not dumb so I know whatever is on them isn't going to be pretty."

"Maybe you'll get your answers though. What Dean's been through, how he lost his memory?" Bobby suggested. "But I understand you not wanting too."

"I know what he's been through, hell the day I found him, I saw just a small glimpse of what he's been through and it was enough for me to know these past 5 years have been hell for him…" He said finishing his beer and grabbing another as he needed something to calm his nerves.

"Well how 'bout we worry 'bout the tapes later? Right now we need to focus on what we're going to do 'bout Dean, I think he's going to need some kind of therapy. With everything that boys been through, I think it's going to be the best thing for him in the long run."

"Dean isn't gonna want to talk to no shrink."

"Maybe not but if we don't get him the help he needs, he could end up suffering more in life because of it or worse because there have been many cases where the abused become abusers later on in life because they didn't get the proper help they needed." Bobby tried to explain but by the look on John's face, he didn't seem too happy about the idea.

"I'll talk to Dean about it, once he settles in a bit more."

"Speaking of settling in, we need to go get him some clothes of his own. He can't keep wearin' Sam's, also we need to go get him a few other things like a toothbrush, shoes and anything else a teenage boy would need."

"Yeah, I know but if he did that to you for just trying to change his bandages then what do you think his reactions going to be when he's at a store having to try on clothes? Besides I feel like he's a flight risk right now, I don't feel safe letting him outside right now."

"You can't keep the boy locked up forever, he's going to have to go into the outside world at some point." Bobby explained.

"I know… I know but it doesn't have to be the second day he's home. How about I give you money and you and Sam go out and buy everything he needs. He fits in Sam's clothes, they're a little baggy so just go a size down…" John said not feeling comfortable with allowing Dean outside yet, he just got his boy back and he couldn't lose him again.

"That's another thing, Dean's grown a bit attached to Sam and I don't think he'd like separating from him anytime soon. Hell the boy followed Sam around like a puppy all day, he even followed him into the bathroom."

"Sam's going to go with you, that way I can have a little time to myself with Dean. I want to try and show him he can trust me as well, I want to see if I can get him to open up."

"Okay tomorrow morning I'll let Sam know, for now we need to get some rest." Bobby finally agreed, finishing his beer with a "Goodnight…" Before heading up the stairs to sleep.

That night John didn't sleep much, he found himself finishing one beer after another pacing back in forth in front of the box. It was killing him to know what was on these tapes, but at the same time he wanted to burn them and forget about them.

Around twelve in the morning he found himself standing in the doorway of Sam and Dean's room, watching both of his boys sleep as he felt empty inside. Even though he had his boy back home safe, it didn't really feel like he did. With Dean's memory gone and how traumatized the boy was, it didn't really feel like his son had come home it just feels like some stranger in his sons skin was there. He stood there for the longest, remembering how much he had taken Dean for granted before he was taken. Pushing Sam off on the boy as he hunted the thing that killed Mary, going hard on Dean's training and he hated himself for it because that really wasn't a life for a child and now Dean's childhood had been completely stolen from him.

Around one-thirty in the morning John found himself downstairs in front of the television with the first video tape in hands that was labeled 'January 18, 1990' it was the day Dean had gone missing. He just stared at it for the longest, his hands were shaking as he put in the tape and hesitantly pressed play as he made sure the volume was down enough to where he wouldn't wake anyone up because he didn't need Dean knowing he had these tapes.

January 18, 1990

The first thing Dean saw when he awoke from his drug induced sleep was a man standing over him, he couldn't quite tell who that man was because his face was hidden behind a camera. "Oh good you're awake." The man announced happily. "I thought I might have drugged you a little too much, can't have you dying on me just yet." Dean still a little drugged up and groggy wasn't fully aware of the situation yet.

"Where am I?" He mumbled, his words running together making it to where you could barely understand what he was saying. "Sammy… Where's Sammy?" By this point he was fading back into unconsciousness and not really hearing the mans response.

He didn't know how long he had been out but by the time he had woken up the second time he was a little more aware, he realized he was wearing nothing but a long t-shirt and couldn't really remember if he had been wearing it the first time he had woken up. He also realized his leg was chained to the wall and that he was laying on some dirty beat up mattress that smelt like dried up blood and urine, he begun to freak out once he started comprehending the situation. His panic begun to stimulate once he heard the door open and footsteps coming down the steps, he tried his hardest to break his foot out of the chain and fight like his father had taught him but fear washed over him to the point he couldn't think straight.

"Where am I?" His words more clear this time, trying to mask the fear in his voice the best he could.

"Ah I'm so happy you're awake and seem more aware." The man said as he stepped fully down the stairs, making it to where Dean could see his face and his eyes widened when he realized it was his teacher James Miller and that when it hit him. He remembered being asked to help load some boxes into James' car, Dean agreed to help because he was taught to listen to your elders and when they had gotten outside he remembered being attacked from behind with something shoved over his mouth. It was the last thing he remembered before waking up here, his heart fell to the pit of his stomach. He had always had an uncomfortable feeling around James, the way he'd stare at him during class, the way he seemed to touch him every chance he got but he brushed it off, it wasn't like his dad was going to let them stay in this town long enough to care about the uncomfortable feeling he had around his teacher — or so he thought anyways.

"Answer my question you bastard! Where am I? AND WHY AM I HERE!?" He screamed at the man, his fear slowly turning into anger because he begun to think about his baby brother and how he was possible home by himself scared to death or worse still at school waiting for him to pick him up. "LET ME GO! I HAVE TO GET HOME!"

"Calm down now, you are home. For now on this is going to be your new home." James smirked bending down to Dean's eye level. "You're going to love it here, I have so many games we're going to play together that you'll never be bored."

"You don't understand! I have to get home to my brother. He's all alone and it's my job to look after him, you have to let me go because he needs me." Dean was full on panicking at the thought of anything happening to Sammy while he was gone and powerless to do anything.

"Why is it your job to take care of him? You're just a child yourself… What horrible parents you have, making a child raise his brother all by himself… Where are your folks at?" James said trying to convenience Dean he was on his side. "Well you should be thanking me, getting you out of that house child neglect is just horrible."

"It's not like that! My dad doesn't neglect us, he just works a lot…" Dean tried to defend.

"Hmm maybe I should go get your brother and we can all play games together. Would you like that?"

"NO! YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM HIM!" Dean screamed punching the man as hard as he could, trying to put all his fathers training to use but the man was way bigger then him and stronger too so it didn't really have an effect on him. He didn't really have time to think about what he had done before James backhanded him across the face, sending Dean backwards with the force. "Just let me go! I promise I won't tell anyone, just let me go!" He was tearing up by this point, he didn't want to be here with this man and it didn't seem like he was going to be let go anytime soon.

"You don't know how many times I heard that before, 'Let me go and I promise I won't tell anyone.' Bullshit but the minute I let you go, you're going to run straight to the police."

"No I won't, I promise!"

James just smiled wiping away the tears that fell gently on Dean's face, "You know I've liked a lot of boys before you, but you're different and I could tell the moment I laid eyes on you when you first entered my class, that I just had to have you." With that Dean's heart dropped because James had leaned in and kissed him, quickly he turned his head to break the kiss but his jaw was forcefully gripped and he forced to stay put as his mouth was invaded. By the time James had pulled away he felt like throwing up, "but before we get started I need to go over a few rules so make sure you listen carefully, because I will not be repeating myself." James said as he stood up, ignoring the boys desperate sobs. "Rule one: there will be no talking back so that means no talking unless spoken too, no questioning me because what I say goes period, and no loud noises — that includes crying—" James warned. "Rule two: You will be obedient and listen to everything I say, if you disobey me you will be punished accordingly." James said growing annoyed at the sobs coming from the boy. "Didn't I say no crying boy!"

But Dean couldn't stop as reality was sinking in, he was probably never going to see Sam again, never see his dad again, or even Bobby because as much as he had faith in his father, as much as he knew the man would never stop looking for him. He knew that there was no way for his father to know where he was, nobody had been around to witness the kidnapping seeing as James' car had been in the back of the school building and everybody had been in the front of the building leaving to go home. "I want to go home…" He managed between sobs gasping out as he was kicked in the stomach, he fell over in pain and wrapping his arms around it for further protection.

"This is your home now, so get use to it." James hissed as he sent another swift kick to the boy face, ignoring the loud scream that came from him as he gripped him up by the hair. "And lastly rule three: Any attempt at leaving or trying to escape will lead to death and believe me when I say this, it won't be quick or easy. You'll feel every agonizing moment of it." He said his face an inch away from Dean, so close to the point Dean could smell his awful breath. "Do you understand these rules boy?"

"Y-Yes…" Dean sobbed through the pain, his stomach, face, and head ached and his nose had blood streaming down it. Suddenly the boy was slammed back down back onto the mattress. "M-My dad… hes a hunter… He'll find you and kill you…." Dean managed out yelping out in pain as he was kicked once more.

"I don't care what your daddy is… You're mine now do you understand me? And now I'm just going to have to teach you how to follow rules, because you can't seem to follow rule one." He said unbuttoning his jeans and with no effort pushing them down, only to climb on top of the child and pinning him down to where he couldn't fight.

"No I-I'm sorry I'll stop crying I'll stop!" He cried out but he couldn't stop crying, he was in pain, scared, cold, and just wanted to go home. "DAD… DAD… DADDY PLEASE HELP ME!" Dean screamed just wanting his father to bust down the door, wanting him to come in and save him like he always did. Dean fought as hard as he could, he pushed, kicked, hit and even spit at the man hovering over him. But it only resulted in him being beaten to the point he was barely conscious, but James refused to let him fall unconscious through the whole ordeal.

Present day

John had quickly shut off the video halfway through the brutal rape his son was forced to endure, not able to stomach it further. Tears streaked down his cheeks especially when hearing Dean's pleas for him to help, knowing he had let his son down that day and every other day he had been with that bastard. Quickly he took the video tape out and shoved it back into the box, being done for the night he had quickly hidden the box in Booby's closet where he knew the boys wouldn't look.

Looking at the time, he realized it was almost three o'clock and decided he needed to sleep but as he had laid down on the sofa he found it impossible as the imagines from the video had came back to haunt him. He had seen some messed up shit in his life before, real like monsters and ghosts but what he had just watched was worse than anything he had ever encountered. Soon it had been nearing four o'clock before John had finally passed out from exhaustion.

By the time John had woken up, it was ten in the morning Bobby and the boys had already finished breakfast and Bobby had been sitting in the living room reading. "Where are the boys?" John said raising up.

"Well good mornin' to you too…" Bobby greeted ignoring the fact John looked like shit and he could smell the the strong scent of alcohol on him.

"Just answer my question…" He said trying to ignore the massive hangover he had.

"They're upstairs." With that John stood up, making his way to the kitchen to get himself a glass of water. Bobby followed after him, "you watched the tapes, didn't you…" He said, looking over at the man slumped against the counter.

"I watched one… I couldn't even bring myself to finish it… What that bastard did to—"

"Hey, I know it's hard but you have to pull yourself together. Right now we can't focus on the past, we have to focus on now and helping Dean get better and by doing that you need to go upstairs, take a shower because you stink and get ready for your day with your son. Once you're outta the shower me and Sam will head out." Bobby said cutting him off because he knew John was just going to upset himself more. John nodded before heading out of the kitchen to go shower, it didn't take him but thirty minutes to shower and dress.

Once he exited the bathroom he saw Bobby and Sam were both dressed to go, John didn't hesitate handing over the money Bobby would need to buy everything. "We'll try to hurry back." Bobby said but John brushed it off.

"Take your time, we'll be here when you get back…" With that Sam told Dean bye, but before they could leave Dean was fully panicking.

"I-I want to go with S-Sam…" He said not letting go of Sam's arm, his eyes lingered on John as fear washed over him. He knew he shouldn't be talking back, he knew that made grown-ups angry but he didn't want to be left alone with an adult— adults scared him, adults hurt you and he didn't want to be hurt, he felt safe with Sam but Bobby and John not so much.

"Hey we're going to spend the day together kiddo, wouldn't you like that?" John said trying to calm Dean down.

"No… I-I want to go with Sam… Please don't go… please stay o-or let me go with you…" Dean was shaking and Sam could see the absolute fear in the boys eyes so he looked up at his dad to see what he wanted him to do. But he knew his father wanted to spend time with Dean alone, he could tell it by his facial expression.

"I'm sorry Dean, you have to stay here but I promise I'll be back before you know it. You and dad are going to be spending the day together, I promise you he won't hurt you… Remember pinky promise…" He said taking a hold of Dean hand, wrapping his pinky around his. "See you soon, okay?" He said as he turned and left with Bobby, not daring to look back because he didn't want to see the look on Dean's face knowing he wouldn't be able to bare it.

Dean turned around and looked at John, he was completely alone with this man and he didn't know what his intension's were. "You hungry or anything?" John asked trying to break the uncomfortable silence but Dean just shook his head. "Okay… well… ah, let's see…" He pondered trying to think of something they could do, he wanted to get Dean comfortable around him so he'd trust him but he just didn't know how because he wasn't good with this whole 'feelings' thing. "Well what do you want to do?"

"Go with Sam…" Dean said as if John didn't see that one coming.

"Sam and Bobby are going clothes shopping for you, it's a very boring task and you probably wouldn't even have that much fun anyways." John said but Dean just kept looking at the door longingly. "You're still as close to him as ever, before you were taken you would do anything for Sammy… Hell you raised him most the time because I was a shit father… Sammy adored you, always looked up to you and tried to be just like you for the longest. When you were taken, it effected all of us but the most one it effected was Sammy. He'd sit up every night and wait for you to come home, even slept in your bed up until the day we moved." John said looking back on the memories and frowned as he remembered not being able to calm Sam's crying down, not having any answers to the constant questions he was asked daily by the younger boy.

"I guess a brothers bond never dies, I bet you two are always going to be close." Dean just stood there listening to John, he didn't know what to say but he wished he could remember his life before James. "You know you saved Sammy's life when you were little?" John said interrupting Dean's thoughts.

"I did?" Dean said intrigued.

"Yeah, it was the night you mother died. There had been a fire and while I tried to save your mom, I had handed you Sammy who was only a few months old at the time and you ran outside saving your baby brother from that fire. He would have probably been dead if it wasn't for you." John said.

"How old was I?"

"You were only four but you were so brave that day, I'm sure you were scared as hell but you didn't let it show because you stayed strong for Sammy. Hell you always stayed strong for Sammy, you always took care of him and me."

"So I was like a hero, I've heard so many stories of so many hero's… I never thought I could have been one myself." Dean smiled at the thought.

"You might not be hungry, but I'm starving." John said motioning for Dean to follow him to the kitchen, once there he had gotten everything out to make a sandwich he turned around back to the counter only to realize Dean was just standing the awkwardly. "You can sit down and make yourself comfortable." He said with a sigh, knowing they had a lot to work to do. Hesitantly Dean sat down across from John watching him as he fixed his food.

"How do you know if I'm your son?" Dean asked not able to hold back the curiosity any longer. "I mean Sam had a good point, I don't have any memory of you guys plus you have no proof that I'm actually him so how do you know?"

"Well for one I know because I can feel it, the moment I looked at your face I could tell you were my son… Plus I do have proof, I found the clothes you were wearing the day you went missing in their house…" John said not daring to even mention the tapes. "You're my son Dean… Just take whatever James told you and forget about it, his rules do not apply here and everything he has told you is a lie." Dean didn't say anything else, hell he barely even looked at John anymore and he could tell he was deep into thought — what he'd give to be able to read this boys mind. "Come here, I wanna show you something." John said motioning Dean to follow him, leading him to the room he shares with Sam and going through Sam's closet pulling out a small shoe box. He sat down at the corner of one of the beds and patted for Dean to sit next to him, hesitantly Dean sat down looking at the box that was in the mans hands. "I know you don't remember us and the life you use to have before you were taken but maybe these will spark a memory." John hoped as he pulled out a handful of pictures. "Sammy's real protective over these, he doesn't like people touching them — now since you left anyways so be careful with them." He said as he passed over the pictures to Dean.

Dean didn't say anything as he stared down at the pictures, "this ones of you and your mother, it was a few months before Sammy was even born… and that one, that one is me, Sam, and you on Sam's second birthday." John said explaining the pictures as Dean shuffled through them. There were few pictures of Dean but many of Sam, because Dean insisted on taking pictures of his growing baby brother. "Here's Sammy on his first day of school, I remember that day like it was yesterday. He was so scared to go to school because you weren't going to be there but you calmed him down and now the kids crazy about school."

"He's grown up so much…" Dean said softly as he stared at the young Sam in the pictures. "I look different too… I have really short hair in these… I hate my long hair…" Dean said, remembering all the times his hair was yanked and pulled and how James loved to grip it and pull him up by it and Dean hated it because it hurt.

"You know if you hate your long hair, I can always cut it for you? I use to cut it when you were little." John suggested.

"I'd like that." Dean said watching John stand up and motion for him to follow him. "C-Can I umm… Can I keep these to look at?" He asked because he liked having something to look back on since he couldn't remember them.

"Of course, I'm sure Sammy won't mind either." John said as he lead them to the bathroom to cut the boys hair. It was pretty difficult though because Dean kept moving, trying to look every so often because he wanted to see what John was doing and John had to be patient with him even though it was frustrating as hell. About halfway through, John couldn't help but gag as he saw the back of Dean's neck which had a burn mark on it from what looked like a branding iron and he tried his best not to say anything about it or touch it because he didn't want to freak Dean out because the boy was actually calm right now and not freaking out. Taking a deep breath to calm the nausea he felt by looking at it as he focused on cutting the boys hair.

"Mister… Can I ask you something?" Dean said after a while.

"You know you can call me dad right?" John said but Dean didn't say anything or even acknowledge John words and he just sighed. "What do you want to ask me?"

There was a long pause as Dean gathered up the courage to speak. "W-Was there another b-boy there w-when you found me?" He said after a long silence.

"Huh?" John said confused.

"M-My… My friend h-he — they had taken him o-out of the basement n-not long before you found me — they… they just t-took him and h-he hadn't returned since." Dean fidgeted scared out of his mind to even ask the question, but he missed his friend and wanted to know if he was okay because he didn't want to believe that he was dead.

"No… No there was no one else there, I checked." John said and Dean didn't say much else, he could see the boy was saddened by his answer. "But if he is alive, I'll help you find him…"

"How will we know if he's alive?"

"We'll just have to hope he is and look anyways…" John said and with that he had finished up Dean's hair, it looking a lot better then that matted up long hair he had. Dean had quickly got up and looked at himself in the mirror, running his hands through his now short hair. "You like it?"

Dean just nodded with a soft "Thanks" under his breath.

"Who is this friend of yours? What does he look like? His name?" John asked trying to get the information he needed to begin his search.

"He's got dark brown hair, b-blue eyes, he's really tall and really brave and sweet…. H-His name is Jimmy Novak…"

Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter, just a warning there will be more chapters like this involving the tapes and about Dean's past that will be a bit graphic so just a heads up on that! I love all the reviews, thank you guys so much for reading and I'm glad you're enjoying it so far — Constructive criticism is always appreciated!