Rated M
M is for MATURE, people.
If I can pretend to be, then you can too!
DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING! *sob* However sometimes I wonder if Mashima-sama used to follow me and my friends around to help him dream up a few of his characters!
At least let a girl dream!
My lovelies,
As I have already stated, this is my pet project, and as such, this tale has become the sole thing I think about when nothing else in my life makes the sort of sense one would think life is supposed to make. This story is, in a way, a ventilation for my own madness... and I thank you for taking this journey with me.
After all, the path to insanity would be a lonely road to walk alone-and I never could have asked for better company.
Gentlemanly Behavior
Rising to a morning in a world such as this was surreal. Such majestic skies made it impossible for the maiden lost in a land of madness to entertain such thoughts as: it had all been nothing but a dream. However, when a talking mouse colored in a hue of sunrise with blue splotches intruded upon her vision... well, perhaps she simply had yet to wake up.
Now Lucy sat, doctoring a refreshing cup of crisp, warm tea whilst gazing out at the rising sun at the mouse's behest. The Levy girl now sat at the edge of a high cliff at the forest's edge, dangling her legs off and kicking merrily. Some women had more sense, like Lucy, who stayed back under one of the bordering trees with legs tucked neatly under skirts. A passing thought made her grimace at her lap. The fabric she wore was smudged with dirt in many places. Where was one to get a clean set of clothes around here?
What am I thinking? I must get home! I cannot think of such frivolities...
"It's gonna be a big day today." Levy looked over her shoulder back at the girl under the tree, tearing her out of her own thoughts. "Gaajie and Natsu has an audience with both queens today." Silence filled the air as Lucy contemplated the mouse's words before Levy spoke again. "You know, Juju, you can stay here with me if you don't want to go with them. Meeting the queens can be... kinda intense."
"Hmm? Oh, uh, no." Lucy forced herself out of the stupor that seemed to be clouding her mind. "Apologizes, Mistress Levy, but I must be on my way. If I can't find the blue cat, then I suppose I'll just have to find another way to return home."
"Home?" Levy's brows sloped down sadly, "you don't like it here, Juju?"
Suddenly fearing that she'd offended, Lucy tried on a smile. "It's not that... I mean, Father will be worried for me. By now he may have half the Yard searching for me."
Levy's round ear twitched in confusion, "So when you're lost, it's other people's job to find you?"
What an odd thing to say. Lucy pressed her lips together, mulling over how to respond when they both jumped from a sudden and most unexpected pillar of fire shooting out of the canopy of trees. The flame's roar was deafening.
"Eep!" Squeaked Levy, now a tiny mouse again, scrambling up onto Lucy's shoulder. Standing on her hind legs, her cold nose nuzzled the summoner's cheek while pointing back to the forest of crimson-leaved willows. "The boys are awake, we should get back."
"Wait," Lucy raised a brow at the tiny mouse's logic, "towards the fire?"
The mouse closed her eyes and nodded in merriment, "Of course!"
Good sense was certainly not what brought her legs to reenter the forest of the Mad Tea Party, but the sight awaiting her there was certainly something to behold. The pink haired madman was shaking the March Hare by the collar despite his being a head taller than him. "Whaddya mean ya don't know! That mouse wanders off everywhere and now she's gettin' Juicy to do it too! I know you know her hangouts so go find'er!"
"Aww..." Levy whispered remorsefully from Lucy's shoulder, "I guess I'm a bad influence on you, Juju."
Lucy frowned and raised her voice, "Master Dragneel! Since when was it a crime to take a morning stroll?"
The hatter became as silent as the grave as his head turned slowly toward the offended girls.
Gajeel grew a smirk and removed Natsu's hands from his jacket and ran a hand over his studded, brown ears. "Geheh. You tell'em lady."
Sharp eyes darted to him next, "And just exactly why does the hatter say you know where Mistress Levy goes? I should hope you are not the sort to spy on a young lady."
The bunny man actually turned a pale shade of pink! Lucy found the sight so out of place on such a fierce face that she lost her next sentence as he sputtered, "I don't! I ain't! Damnit! I told Salamander I didn't know where you guys was!"
"Pah hah hah hah!" They all started when the hatter fell onto his back in an uproar, which of course rubbed the March Hare the wrong way.
"Damnit Salamander! We got work to do!"
Natsu popped back to his feet, his hat still down on the ground. "Yup! We sure do!" He stepped up to Lucy and offered her his hand with a pronounced canine gleaming though a half smirk, "tell me Juicy, have you ever met with royalty before?"
How was it that as he leveled his gaze on her, that her heart began to beat faster? A scalding tongue explored hers as breath more than a little warm lit her cheeks and sped her heart. The way their lips fit together made her wonder if she too, should join the caress and melt within him...
Her eyes widened and she took a step back, shaking the unwelcome memory of this man's brazenness from her mind. The Mad Hatter raised a brow at her retreat and the mouse on her shoulder tapped her cheek, "Juju?"
Lucy let out a squeak of her own which positively tickled the hatter's fancy as she turned to Levy, "Wha... what? Oh! I'm so sorry, Mistress Levy! What did you say?"
"...Nothing." The mouse tilted her head curiously at the girl. "Hatter's the one who asked you something."
Oh but she couldn't possibly look at him right at that moment! She stared blankly at the rodent as she tried desperately to recall what he'd asked.
"Great date you found there, Salamander."
Natsu never looked away from the girl avoiding eye-lock. He responded simply with, "Yea, her mind wanders magnificently."
That did it. Flushed face or not, Lucy turned back to him and indignantly called out an, "I beg your pardon sir?!"
The Mad Hatter let out a chuckle and held a hand out to the mouse and Levy scampered into it. With an index finger, he scratched the top of her head. "Try not to break anything when you hide the base this time yea?"
"Hehe!" Levy giggled, "I'll try! It'd be horrible if there was nothing left for you to break!"
Feeling relieved that Natsu had turned to allow the mouse to leap onto the table's white cloth, Lucy began to dust off her dress uselessly, "Yes well, do try to enjoy going about your business. I must be on my way now."
"Yep! Let's be on our way," announced the hatter as he shoved a jug to Gajeel and brought a thermos with a strap to Lucy, seamlessly taking her hand in his and scooping up his hat. "Off the the White Queen we go."
^.^
Exactly why was she walking with these two again? Lucy really needed to start pronouncing her intentions more clearly. It wasn't that she was trying to be irresponsible! She knew she needed to get home. But she had no idea where to start! Walking through the hills Natsu had dragged her past yesterday yielded no path, and the Cana cat had warned her from straying too far.
So there she was, walking with a self proclaimed dragon and a bunny man.
Gajeel led the way as they crested another hill, while Natsu walked next to her. Perhaps he had made a wrong turn in life; trying to walk like a gentlemen was putting him out. His hands longed to touch the girl from the rose bush, so they stayed firmly behind his back while he escorted her. No matter. Simply one more fleeting thought running through the inferno raging in his mind. He was him, and nothing would change that. However, once the silence had stretched too far, they both spoke at once.
"You never answered my question, Juicy."
"So what was all that fire in the forest earlier?"
The two locked gazes, and as a pink brow rose, a maiden looked away. She nibbled her lip as she watched her feet take one step at a time. She just couldn't stand those eyes on her. Why had he kissed her like that? It'd ruined everything! Wait, what was there to ruin? Her face changed to a grimace as she started to brood over it, and such a face made the dragon next to her cackle.
In a huff, Lucy halted her ascent of the next hill and turned on him, "And just what are you laughing at now?!"
"Your face!" He continued chuckling.
"I beg your pardon!"
"Haha! You're still doing it!"
Her cheeks puffed out and she stormed up the hill after the far less infuriating bunny ahead, but didn't get far. A feverish grip on her wrist halted her and she turned again to look down at the top of Natsu's finely stitched hat. A hat that slowly raised to show the shaded eyes of the man beneath. "I believe you asked about fire?"
It almost felt as though his words answered her question. There was a wildfire dancing somewhere behind his eyes, she could feel the heat all around her, from her skin all the way to her very core. A petite hand rushed to her heart as her other remained suspended by his grip. "Ma, Maaas~ter Dragneel—I..."
One corner of his lip curled at her incoherence, but was rudely interrupted by the miscreant at the top of the hill. "Yo lovebirds! We still movin' here or what?"
"Oh dear!" Lucy jumped and pulled from his clutches and up the hill with an insatiable need to hide her embarrassment. When she crested the hill, the sight below filled her heart with relief. A wide smile filled her expression and she hiked up her skirts as one does when running. And run she did! "A path! A path!"
Natsu reached the top and scratched under his hat at the sight of his Juicy running down to the white tiled walkway that would eventually lead them to the White Queen's home. His pupils looked to the March Hare at the sound of the bunny's chuckle. "Geheh, lost to a fuckin' road. You really suck Salamander."
Calmly placing his hands back behind his back after straightening his scarf, he took a step forward. Then swiftly lifted an arm to slam the back of his fist into Gajeel's big mouth before continuing on.
So... while Lucy happily plucked a flower here and there as she skipped on the tiled path, the March Hare tackled the Mad Hatter from behind and they rolled down the hill in a flurry of kicks and punches. Everything from ear pulling to leg twisting, this was no gentleman's brawl. Though Lucy just kept leading the way, completely content to follow this path even if it wasn't the set of colors she remembered—colors didn't seem to follow the same rules as her world—all the while utterly unaware of the fight taking place behind her.
Her happy gait was interrupted by a masculine voice calling out, "Who goes there! State your name and business like a man!"
Lucy stopped and dropped her small bouquet at the sight of a Goliath of a man who appeared to have a demon's arm and leg. His hair was as white as a ghost's and he wore tight tan pants (well, the leg that fit it anyway, the other was just sort of... ripped off) and a black and white striped shirt that was also ripped at the sleeve to make room for the gargantuan arm.
"Meep..." Lucy felt as if she was shrinking... "Umm... guys...?"
"No no no, Dum," Came another voice trailing after him, who quickly revealed herself to be yet another cat woman, dressed similar to the man. Lucy examined the large catlike paws she had on both hands and feet with white fur and black tabby stripes that faded into existence from otherwise pale skin as the small girl about the same size as she berated her companion. "It's 'how do you do' and shake their hands now! You heard the queen!" The white ears might have been easy to miss on her head of snow-colored hair had they not also been striped in black. The girl even wore a bell around her neck!
"Oh yeah..." The Goliath scratched a hand through his white tufts as he averted his eyes in shame. "Sorry Sis, it's just not as manly as our old line."
The cat girl sighed and patted his arm, "I know big bro, but orders are orders." The two smiled at each other and then turned to examine the blonde girl in unison for the first time.
"Umm... hello..." Lucy all but whispered, trying not to fidget.
The big guy smirked at the scene behind her and his sister (he'd called her Sis, after all) sweatdropped. "They're at it again."
"Heh, so manly, those two."
Lucy blinked at the two looking past her and turned around only to start at the scene of Natsu taking a rather desperate tug at Gajeel's ears in effort to keep him from biting his arm.
"Alright you two," the white haired man stepped past her and pulled the two apart, holding the March Hare with his demonic hand and Natsu in the other. They both dangled off the ground while still taking swings at the other.
"He started it!" Yelled Natsu, "he tackled me all the way down the hill!"
"Only cuz ya sucker punched me, Flamebrain!"
"A reprimand is NOT a sucker punch!"
A giggle brought Lucy's attention back to this new cat woman, "Oh those two will never change... except..." Her eyes leveled on her, "you. You're different. Why are you different?"
It was Lucy's turn to sweatdrop. Exactly what did she mean by that?
"Alright, alright!" Yelled out the March Hare, "lemme down, damnit!"
The large man set the two of them down and watched them glare at each other warily before saying, "You guys are in White country now, so you better behave, ain't that right Dee?"
The girl beside Lucy perked up and smiled pleasantly, "Yes indeed!" Then she rushed past the blonde to stand in front of Natsu and said, "How do you do, and shake your hands!" Natsu grinned at her as she took his hands, crisscrossed, and shook them.
"Doin' great, Dee!" The Hatter continued grinning, shaking her hands in return—enough to make the small cat girl bob up and down.
"Come on already," Gajeel groaned past the both of them and tromped past Lucy down the path. "Some of us wanna get this over with already."
Lucy turned to follow, but glanced back at the woman still holding the hatter's hands. When it appeared that he started to look up at her, she quickly turned away to trail the March Hare.
Natsu frowned at the unescorted woman while the white haired girl poked him, "What's with her? She isn't a part of your tea party."
A smile ebbed on his lips as he patted the girl's hand before letting it go. "Oh she absolutely is. Our newest member! The Juicy of our Mad Tea Party!"
Lucy groaned and turned back to them, ignoring the arm the cat woman curled around Natsu's. "If you are going to introduce people, get it right! I am Lucy Heartfilia!"
"The Juicy." Natsu corrected.
"Heartfilia?" The two whites asked aloud as Lucy frowned and almost growled, "Lucy!"
"Hmm." Natsu curled a thoughtful finger to his chin and looked down at the woman latched to his arm. "Did you guys get an echo? I thought those only hung around the Cheshire forest."
"Ugh!" Lucy flung her arms in exasperation and walked on after Gajeel to the sound of both his and her chuckles. In an effort to separate herself from them, she caught up to Gajeel and walked alongside him.
He frowned down at her and kept walking, hoping that she'd keep her yap shut.
"Just who does she think she is, calling me different?"
Gajeel raised a brow, but kept trying to ignore her.
"And laughing at me? Just what sort of kingdom are you taking me to if the guards are those two?"
"Look lady," Gajeel grimaced, "Levy offered ta letcha stay back with her, but cha had ta bud ure nose in anyway. This here is their kingdom so I ain't listenin' to any complaints comin' from you. Jest keep ure nose down so we can get outta here sooner."
Lucy looked up at him with a frown of her own, but wilted under his iron gaze. It was so cold compared to his business partner. She looked away forlornly and agreed with a polite, "Yes sir... of course."
It didn't take long before the path grew wider, and began to wind around delicately carved columns. Such a lovely walkway must lead to an amazing castle. Lucy started to get excited to see it. Who was this queen to have such splendor? Was she anything like the monarchy of her world? Surely in a land such as this the architecture must be a sight to behold!
So imagine her jaw-dropping surprise when the white tiled floor led to a pub. A pub! Sure the doors were double... but this was a cottage at best. It even had a windmill built on the top! The entire rundown building had what looked like a fresh coat of pristine white paint that helped hide the dilapidation, but the vines running up its side looked like the bricks holding it together might get strangled any moment now. Above the entrance, there was a peculiar symbol Lucy could have sworn she'd seen before with the word TAIL scrawled underneath. The blonde had stopped her advance to look up at the building, and the two whites rushed past them as Natsu stopped right next to her. Gajeel hadn't stopped until the two intercepted him at the door he was reaching for.
Both the cat woman and demon man opened the door at once saying, almost singing:
"Tweedle Dum
and Tweedle Dee,
bring three that come
to get their fee!"
"Hehe!" Natsu grinned, taking a leisurely stance next to her, "right to the point! I love these guys!"
From the open doors, the blonde could easily see most of the interior from here. Was there really a need to go inside? Her head jerked as the madman next to her offered her his arm. She frowned at it, recalling how he hadn't complained when that... Tweedle girl had held onto it and was about to proclaim that she was no one's sloppy seconds when that charming gaze fried her senses as he said, "No succulent plus one of mine is going to meet a bonafide queen unescorted."
Hmm. Well I suppose it would be better to have someone affiliated with her to introduce me. Placing a hesitant hand on his arm bought her a price-winning, gallant smile as he walked her into the tavern. The March Hare had already seated himself at a bar near the opposite wall, demanding something a bit stronger than tea. It was delivered promptly by a platinum haired, buxom beauty who then landed eyes on the two of them. Her smile was contagious as Natsu waved to her like an old friend as they too made their way to the bar. Lucy had never been to an establishment such as this, her father would freak! ...And the low cleavage of this woman's dress was making even her blush.
"Oh my! And just who is this lovely girl the hatter brings with him?" The woman asked, making Lucy deadpan. Even her voice was adorable! Yet she called her lovely? In Lucy's opinion, she didn't even come close! The tips this bar maid must make on flattery alone!
"This, my dear Mirajane, is The Scrumptious Juicy, spirit summoner extraordinaire, newest member of our Mad Tea Party."
The woman dubbed Mirajane tilted her head and blinked at the blonde, all the while placing a drink in front of Natsu. "The... Juicy?"
Lucy frowned at Natsu, who was happily taking a generous sip of whatever had been placed before him. "It's just Lucy."
"But Juicy really suits you." The woman chuckled, doing what the hatter had managed to refrain from doing this whole time and reached over the bar to poke one of Lucy's breasts. The poor girl grew completely red and froze as the bartender giggled, poking it a few more times.
"Yo!" Came a voice she'd heard a few times yesterday, "speaking of juice, I'm runnin' on empty over here, Mira."
"Oh dear... One moment Cana!" And Mirajane blissfully retracted her hand to grab three more mugs. Before she left however, she turned back to the three of them with a wink. "Apologizes, I'll be right back!"
As the Cheshire Cat argued as to why she didn't just bring the barrel, Gajeel looked over at his other two companions. He shook his head as Lucy was still trapped in a state of mortification, "Geez Salamander. Stare much?"
It was true. The Mad Hatter was staring at the star maiden's chest, practically boiling over with thoughts unfit for a gentleman. He murmured, "They're so... squishy..."
"Geheh. You better stop that or she won't be comin' back to the tea party anytime soon, Salamander."
Fortunately, Natsu straightened with a clearing of his throat when Mirajane came back to jar Lucy back to the land of now. "So!" She hummed with a contented smile, "what sort of drink do you like, Juicy?"
"Oh! Umm..." Lucy tried to beat down a blush, "I'm actually pretty hungry." She didn't have much jewel on her, but could at least pay for something to eat since she still had to go hiking across this country in search for a way home. "Could I maybe have a menu? I shouldn't order anything too expensive..." As she talked, a barrel of ale began floating around the bar behind the bartender.
"You're hungry?" Mirajane looked to her with worry, "oh my! Think nothing of it! No one in my kingdom gets to go hungry!"
"Wait... your kingdom?" Lucy choked, turns out that it's not so hard to do on a dry throat.
"Lisanna! Get this girl some of the left overs from breakfast!"
"Aye sir!" The cat woman from earlier saluted and dashed past the bar and into a room behind. The barrel floating toward the Cheshire Cat had only narrowly been missed.
"Err," Started the March Hare, with one ear drooping. "We ain't got time to stay. Still gotta meeting with the other queen."
"Oh..." Mirajane, Queen Mirajane's brows lowered sadly. "I really wish you two would steer clear of her. She just gets... so upset. I don't see why you two couldn't just come stay here with us."
The Hatter lowered his mug and spoke with a slightly serious tone for once. "Now don't you start. I already had to swat away so many red recruiters that it's amazing she didn't just give me a close shave years ago."
"Recruiters?" Lucy queried.
Natsu flashed her a cunning grin, speaking lowly. "They'd love a dragon like me on their side."
A chill ran up her spine as he referred to himself as a dragon while leaning toward her so close.
"Yes, but remaining neutral must be dangerous," The White Queen started. "Otherwise surely more people would stay in the Inbetween."
"Here ya go!" Sang out the Tweedle girl who placed a delicious plate of ham, biscuits and eggs before Lucy and immediately added her two cents to the conversation. "The Inbetween is nothing for someone as brave as the dragons!"
The dragons? Lucy thought to herself, I've only met the two. Exactly how many of these people think themselves dragons? Maybe it's an exclusive club or something...
"And with Natsu leading them," Lisanna continued, "they'll be just fine! Don't you worry Mira, they'll be back for another job before you know it!"
Her words fell on mostly deaf ears though, for both Natsu and Gajeel were staring at the meal Lucy was primly and ecstatically eating. Mirajane put a slender hand to her cheek with another smile and asked generously, "Would you boys care for some breakfast too?"
Both the men begrudged the smell of such tasty food and hung their heads in defeat.
"...Yes please."
If they hurry, they still might make it to the Red Queen before they were labeled: Late.
Mwahaha! Oh man but I did not think I'd finish this chapter in a day! Gods but I love everything about this fic! This is gonna be fuuuuuuuuuuuuun!
Eat a slice of cake for me too,
Seriphia
aka
Lick
*~.🎨.~*