A/N: Once again, thank you so much to all of my lovely readers, keep reviewing, following and faving! And thanks so much to the funniest review ever courtesy of the drunk anon! I read that drunk and it was the funniest thing ever. It puts the hugest smile on my face to know you guys like what I'm doing! Let's get started with this chapter now. Also, as of writing this A/N and possibly this chapter, I'm super drunk! So I might make this a filler chapter, maybe some kind of drabble about Yui and Hachiman hanging out ^_^

Chapter Two and a Half: I'd Shoot a Hole into the Sun

Hachiman half jogged down the stairs, sighing in agitation - why would he ask such a stupid thing of Yui? What did he need to be saved from? His comfortable, solitary life devoid of any real traumas or turbulence?

Himself? The superficial connections he had in his life? His inner loneliness?

He shook his head, the sheer stupidity of that thought! He didn't need any salvation, especially not from the person he was. He had nothing to be ashamed of, to feel remorse for, to be whisked away from.

But then, why did his life feel aimless until he was fulfilling a request with that damned club; until he was looking at that damned pink haired girl? He shook the thought out of his head and shoved the school door out of his way, squinting as the sunlight beamed, burning his dead fish eyes. The sky was fading from the crimson it was when he left the room. He could still feel the ghost of Yui's hands, kneading his scalp, softly touching his fingers, could still feel her burying her face in his hair, how badly he wanted to turn around and -

Turn around and what? He didn't need her! He didn't even need (or want!) physical contact with her, or to see that gorgeous smile on her lips again!

Snap out of it Hachiman, this can't possibly end well.

He mounted his bike, pedaled as hard as he possibly could, wrung his hands against the handlebars until the scabbed heels of his hands split and bled. The sudden wetness pulled him out of his thoughts, which most certainly were not related to a certain pink haired girl. He rapped his knuckles against the side of his head, knocking and wondering if whoever was in there had any idea what they were doing. How could he have even gotten himself in this situation?

Maybe it was the night they saw the fireworks together. When they had rode the train together, and she had bumped into him. He had noticed something in her eyes and the way her face changed before she pulled away from him. Something that wasn't disgust or contempt or even rejection. And even though he maintained his poker face, his stomach had warmed with some odd feeling. Or when the fireworks were going off in dazzling arrays in the sky, and he looked at her out of the corner of his eyes and saw the lights reflecting in her eyes, painting her cream skin with abstracted rainbow fractals, sound nearly burying her "oohs" and "aahs" when the show reached its climax.

Maybe it was how she listened to him when he told her about the cookies. How no boy would really care if the cookies turned out well or not, he'd love them just because a girl had baked them for him. How she showed up the next day with a bag full of cookies charred to varying degrees, with a hopeful smile on her face as she slid them to him. He ate them after school that day, every single one of them.

Maybe it was saving that stupid dog. Maybe he should stop thinking about this. He bit his tongue, shook his head, pedaled harder. Home was only a few minutes away and he needed the solitude of his room. Writing something would surely get his mind off of this, right?

He put his bike away, shambled into the house, and hastily washed and bandaged his hands. He moved to his desk, sat with a calligraphy brush pen, pulled his favorite journal, and set about writing in it.

28 Nov

My actions seem beyond me; at every turn with Yuigahama I have become more physically affectionate and relaxed. It distresses me, that I would welcome such contact with her. I told Komachi about it a few days ago and she is under the impression that I have taken a liking to her. But that would be foolish. In life, especially, in high school life the only person you can really count on is you. Connecting with others, trusting them, having any sort of relationship with others is not in one's best interest. After graduation, you lose the friends. Petty fights end the friendships. Superficiality is a constant issue, and by third year everyone knows that they'll probably never see one another again, and yet everyone pretends that is not the case. I have always seen the stupidity of getting involved like that and abstained. I've written in here before about my hopes for my future. And I don't know what to say about what's happening now but I can't find the faith in me to believe that these hopes will be realized with her, or that there is anything other than rejection waiting for me if I elect to walk this path.

And yet I still find myself acting as though she holds the answer to these hopes I harbor. Her, a stereotypical teenage nice girl!

And I indulge this... affection she seems to have for me and for what? I'll never be able to have what I want, least of all with her.

It isn't even in my writing that I can find an escape from these thoughts of her, of this forbidden desire, of this selfish want.

It's never going to happen Hachiman. You don't have it in you, all you know how to do is vilify yourself. It's like Hiratsuka-sensei has said; I do things that would hurt me and don't feel it, but I hurt the people around me. She fears I'll always be a loner, but that seems preferable to this ember of a dream I have held onto. Connection. Intimacy. Understanding. Who needs it? Why indulge something so... crude?

His phone vibrated in his pocket. He reluctantly pulled it out of his pocket, and what he saw only served to exacerbate the situation. She had texted him!

"hikki do you have any plans next weekend?"

The little characters on the screen had never seemed more daunting to Hachiman in his life.

"I'm always free on weekends. Do you need my help on something?"

"sort of... i was wondering if you wanted to meet up? there's something called the winter lights festival in a nearby town this week and i was looking for someone to go with?"

The words seemed to be taunting him, surely the universe was playing some sort of sick joke! Or the Rom-Com Gods had decided it was time to suck him back into the never ending cycle of drama he was *this* close to breaking free from.

"Sounds good. Saturday?"

"perfect, i'll meet you at the train station on saturday ! see you at school ^~^"

He rolled his eyes. What a cute... No, no no, what an annoying emoticon! Yes, that's more like it. The smile on his face? Independent of this text message. Writing a poem would surely help him feel like himself again. He picked up his pen again, wrote at the very bottom of the journal's page.

If I had a gun

I'd shoot a hole into the sun

And love would burn this city down

For you

A/N: Well guys! I was drunk off my ass writing this so I'm going to go ahead and apologize if there's any errors anywhere and also for how short it is. I've already got Chapter Three underway but I figure I may as well post this to have another update for the day. Thank you so much for reading this and have a wonderful night/day! Feel free to review as well *wink wink nudge nudge*