13:00, Kokiri Forest
Tip #3 from my Bomber's Detective Notebook: Routine and in-depth searches are necessary for uncovering new evidence! Don't neglect your #1 source of evidence!
I figured I'd need to organise some sort of investigatory squad to check out the crime scene while I was away. I can't do everything myself. Heck, even Zora princesses do their part; they can't do much, but they can weigh down switches like no other.
But to assemble a team, and on such short notice… I'd need a born leader. A man not afraid to take charge, a man that could give orders on a moments reflection, a man to stand in one spot day and night to guard our crime scene.
A man that I detested with every fibre of my being.
"Oh, look who it is! Can't you go baby-sit yourself for five minutes without running to me?" Milo sat before me, on the raised pedestal he kept in his house. Some of the Kokiri had a long-standing joke that Milo practiced giving orders from that thing every night, and I was beginning to see some truth in that.
"Spare me, Twig-Legs." I took out my badge and held it out. I always wondered what insane force of gravity made things float when I held them out to someone. I'll bet Zelda can't do that. I made a mental note to show it off to her later. "I need you to pull a team together to check out the murder scene. Have some people dust, have some dig around, keep a few running to buy the coffee. I need this ready ASAP, and don't think I won't put you in the slammer for impeding an investigation."
Milo huffed, staring at the badge with an unconvinced look. "You're going to threaten me with that paper thing?"
"This paper thing happens to be my detective badge, buddy. I'd watch what you say about it; it's a sign of the highest authority next to the Royal Family."
"It has "Private Eye" written in green crayon on it. You're expecting me to take it seriously?"
I sneered. "Either that, or I can always use Din's Fire on the Deku Tree."
"You wouldn't!" Milo began to shake slightly
Of course, it was a bluff. Even if I had wanted to, that gargantuan tree would require eight times my Magic Meter to burn completely, and I wasn't keen on climbing it to get at the upper branches. I figured Milo wouldn't take me on, though; he had been seen more than once standing under his branches, catching the falling leaves and trying to stick them back on. It was kind of sad… and creepy.
"Fine, fine!" Milo cracked like clockwork. "I'll get your damn team together."
"Glad to hear it." I tossed him a package. "If you find anything, call me using this."
He opened it up, and stared at me as though I were a beetle. "You must be joking me. You can't seriously expect me to do this."
I smiled with immense satisfaction, happily patting my badge. "I do. Just put in on and wait for a bit. I'll be checking in to a Gossip Stone every now and then for updates." I turned to leave, and then stopped. "Could I just make sure it fits before I go?"
If I could've seen Milo's eyes, they surely would've been twitching. Instead of voicing his disgust, he reached into the parcel, pulled out the Mask of Truth and slapped it onto his face, giving him the appearance of a one-eyed freakish clown.
"It looks perfect on you. I'm gone." I left the house and walked a few steps down the road, and then stopped. Up the hill directly across from Milo's house, a small hole lay in the large rock wall. I knew that, inside that hole, a small cavern held an empty chest, guarded still by a rolling boulder. I also knew that the Kokiri store would forever have an empty spot in its inventory, having once held a simple wooden shield.
I pondered for a moment. I certainly would've died on my previous journey without Milo's… "suggestion" to get a sword and shield. It was likely he had just wanted to help me, in his own demanding, rude and snotty way. I thought to myself, maybe he didn't deserve that…
A scream from Milo's house broke my thoughts. "WHAT IS THIS, SUPERGLUE?!" Several bumping noises were heard, followed by a terrified, anguished cry for help.
I whistled as I left the village. The glue dissolved quite easily, actually. A little milk from Bessie would take that mask right off. If he ever asked me, I'd certainly tell him what to do; getting hit by a boulder a couple times over would do it.