A/N: Another try to post regularly! Not sure if I'll make it to next week but I'll try. Thanks for everyone who has reviewed so far - I know it can seem a bit of a waste of time but I guarantee each review makes my day and certainly makes me enjoy writing even more. Feedback is always very much appreciated and it encourages me to write more. I'd love to know what you think. Hope you'll enjoy this chapter!

Chapter Three

Anna stretched lazily when she finally got to their bedroom, glad that the day was over and she could get to bed in a little bit. Taking off her shoes, she sighed contently before walking towards the bathroom door. The children were asleep and the cottage was tidy; she just needed to check on her husband.

She opened the door slowly and found John still in the bathtub, his wet hair dripping water onto the floor as he rested his head against the wall. She smiled. More often than not, when the children were still awake when he got home, he'd tell them stories, or read them something – these were getting longer every day, and she could understand why he was so tired tonight. Hearing her movement, he opened his eyes and smiled at her, and she immediately melted under his gaze.

"I brought fresh towels," she offered, entering the small room.

"Thank you," he said as she approached and put the towels on a small chair next to the tub. "You are looking very beautiful. I don't think I've told you that today."

Anna chuckled and shook her head, mildly distracted by the broad expanse of John's chest against the water. She was glad there was still a reasonable amount of foam on the surface of the water. She was sure she looked quite the picture, with her bare feet and her untidy hair and the tiredness of a day behind her.

"You haven't, but thank you," she sighed. "I just really want to get in bed with you and sleep until some late hour."

John chuckled. "Get in here with me. It'll help you relax a bit."

She glared at him. "John-"

"The children are asleep and I just want you to relax," he told her sternly, a serious look on his face. "I know you're tired. Get in here with me. You know there's enough room."

She arched her eyebrows. "I know that all too well," at his grin, she sighed in defeat. She couldn't tell him no. "All right, then."

Unbuttoning her dress unhurriedly, catching John's eye every now and then as she undressed, she had to admit her spirits were better already. It had been a while since they spent some time together, mainly in each other's presence without the children, especially in the last few days with the amount of work they both had. Only two days ago Jack had broken his arm in a moment of mischief while climbing a tree; worry had overcome Anna even though the little boy was fine and already up and about under his mother's watchful eye. She had been glad John had been just at the Abbey at the time and he had calmed her down; while she had always known herself as a sensible person, her children often made her rethink that.

The water was warm against her skin as she joined her husband in the tub. Quickly settling herself in front of him, her back to his chest, Anna felt her limbs stretching and her muscles relaxing and she nearly moaned at that. John kissed her temple and she sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. He stroked her forearms softly, both on the edges of the tub, and she slowly felt the tension of the past days slip out of her body. Only John could do that for her.

"This feels good," she said quietly as he laced their fingers together. "This was a very good idea, Mr Bates."

She felt his smile against her skin as he kissed her jaw, "Good, Mrs Bates. My mother always said a hot bath could do wonders after a long day."

"Your mother was a wise woman," Anna commented. "How are you?"

"Fine," John answered. "I suspect the trip to the attics made my leg a bit stiff today. Should be fine in the morning."

"I can give you a massage before we go to bed," she offered, but he shook his head.

"Nonsense. I'm sure it'll be fine in the morning," he took a deep breath and Anna snuggled further into him. "I'm hoping to hear from Mr Murray tomorrow about the house in London. I might need to make a short trip there this week, if his Lordship allows it. Perhaps you could come with me. We could have a day out with the children. Do you think they'll like it?"

Anna smiled at his excited tone.

"They'd love it. It would be tiring because of the train journey, but I think they would love it," she told him. "I'm not enough for them, it seems. They only ask after you."

"Silly girl," he whispered, kissing her temple and moving his hands from hers to wrap them around her waist, underwater. "How was your day?"

"The usual," she let out a deep breath. "Your son has been quite restless with an immobilized arm."

He chuckled, the vibrations of his chest tickling her back as she slowly caught the soap. She still had something else to talk to him about, but she was having trouble finding the right words. She would think it would have got better after all this time. John's hands left her as she began washing herself, the water still very warm; he leant his head against the back of the tub again and Anna sat upright.

"He's a lot like you too, darling," John said, and she looked back to find him closing his eyes.

Anna smiled but a slow frown appeared on her features. She heard John sigh and not for the first time realised how lucky she was to have him there, with her; how that might not have been possible with all the circumstances thrown at their relationship. And yet, here they were, enjoying some quiet time together with three beautiful, healthy, perfect children sleeping just down the corridor. Not even in her dreams she had been so daring. She was lucky – they were lucky. And she couldn't understand why such a dread feeling had consumed her today.

He kept silent as Anna washed herself and she checked a couple of times to be sure he hadn't fallen asleep. Just as she put the soap away, however, she decided it was time to speak.

"I'm going to try to see Dr Clarkson tomorrow," she announced, her voice barely above a whisper, turning her head to look at John.

His eyes snapped open instantly and he raised his head, frowning. "Anna, Jack is perfectly fine. He's just frustrated at his immobilised arm."

"It's not Jack, I…" she started, looking down at water at a loss. John sat upright too. She pursed her lips before looking at John resolutely. "I think I might be pregnant."

Realisation hit him and the frown disappeared. Confusion replaced it.

"Are you quite sure?" was his question.

Anna nodded slowly. "I think so. I'm not exactly new at this. But I'm not completely certain, of course," she took a deep breath. "I'll try to see Dr Clarkson soon."

John nodded at her words, slipping his arms around her waist and bringing her to rest against him. He really did have a way of making everything seem right. He kissed her shoulder.

"You do know I'm pleased, don't you?"

Anna smiled, cupping his cheek and turning to look at him. "Of course I do," she planted a soft kiss on his lips. "We should get out. The water is getting cold."

She stepped out of the bathtub a moment later, grabbing one of the towels and wrapping herself in it to avoid feeling cold. She exchanged a smile with John as he stepped out of the bathtub too, but somehow she felt like no words were really needed anymore. She walked towards the door to their bedroom, as she hadn't brought any clothes with her, and slowly got consumed by her own thoughts again. Another baby was entirely unexpected – she was sure John would agree. They had both thought Lucy would be their last child; they had both agreed that it would be best to stop at three.

Anna knew there was no confirmation yet but experience told her she was right; it matched her previous pregnancies, and she remembered them very well. Four children – she had never thought it would be possible for them. She sat at her vanity to braid her hair, already dressed for bed, and took a look at herself in the mirror. They weren't exactly young anymore, and the children were still so dependant. They would have to find room for one more. Their little bedroom was already so small for three, and they were still young children.

John appeared already dressed by the doorway, a slight smile on his face, and Anna met his eye through the mirror. It wasn't ideal, she knew. They hadn't planned it this way; though, if she were honest, they had only planned for Jack, really. And she couldn't imagine life without her little girls.

"I know you are worrying, and so am I," he said softly, walking towards her as she stood up. "But you have given me three wonderful children and even though this isn't ideal I could never be sad over such news."

He opened his arms invitingly and she gladly stepped into them, pressing her ear against his chest as he hugged her.

"It's not confirmed yet," she told him softly, "so we won't worry now. I am concerned, yes, but I won't be sad if this makes me a mother again."

He kissed the top of her head. "I just wanted to be sure. Any child would be lucky to have you as their mother, no matter what the circumstances are."

She pulled away to look at him, feeling better all of sudden again. They'd find a way and it would work. She knew they would.

John kissed her lips softly and she let go of him to slip into bed. A moment later, burrowed in the covers, her husband joined her, his strong arms encircling her and she laced their fingers together – coincidentally or not, right underneath her waist. She took a deep breath. John was right. Despite everything, she could never be sad about this. Their family was way too valuable for that.

"If this turns out to be a false alarm, however, we'll stick to the original plan," she said with a smile, and John chuckled. "Just so you don't get any ideas."

"Yes, ma'am," he said, kissing her hair.

She had a feeling they both knew how empty those words were.

Anna adjusted Lucy on her lap and let out a content sigh at the sight of her children sitting quietly having some biscuits; a simple walk to the village was seen as a big adventure for three small children, and Anna had to admit they were a bit of a handful sometimes, no matter how well behaved they were. She was outnumbered with three eager, curious children.

She sipped her tea and responded correctly to their excited babbling, glad to be out of the cottage anyway. Normally their elderly neighbour, Mrs Turner, would be happy to take care of them for a few hours while Anna did her errands, but that had not been possible today; she and John liked to take the children there together, where they both could look after them, and Anna only had two hands, one of which was normally occupied carrying Lucy now that she was too big for her stroller.

Seeing them now, however, she was glad she had brought them along. They were excited but since they had done as she had told them so far, she had agreed they could have some biscuits. Even though their presence made it impossible for her to get the main reason of her trip to the village done, they were far too happy and excited for her to regret the circumstances. When Jack happily mentioned school, however, Anna's trained eyes went to Beatrice, who immediately turned to her.

"Mummy," Bea said with a pout. "Why can't I go to school with Jack?"

"We've already told you, darling," Anna said patiently. "When Jack starts, you'll need to wait for one year and then it's your turn."

"One year?" Bea asked, leaning back against the chair. "That's a lot, Mummy!"

"It'll go by fast, angel," Anna said to the little girl, reaching her arm to stroke her soft cheek. Bea looked down, still sad, and Anna smiled softly. The tea room's front door opened and a familiar face entered. Anna's smile grew brighter, and she looked at her oldest children with a twinkle in her eyes. "Look who just came in!"

Bea and Jack's heads snapped up and both children smiled brightly upon seeing Mrs Hughes, who had already spotted them. Anna let out a chuckle as Bea immediately got up from her chair to meet the housekeeper halfway.

"Mrs Hughes, look! I think I'm taller than Jack now!" Beatrice said proudly, jumping up and down excitedly.

"My, my, you have grown in the last week!" Mrs Hughes said affectionately to the little girl. This, however, made Jack motion to leave his seat as well.

"But I am-"

"Jack," Anna's voice was quiet but stern, and the little boy remained quiet. The eternal height battle had taken its toll last week when John announced Bea would soon be taller than Jack if she kept growing so much, a simple statement that had caused both children to create quite a commotion, even though the little girl was still shorter than her brother. The last thing Anna wanted at the moment was for them to start fighting now, when they had been behaving so well. She turned to the older woman with a kind smile. "Mrs Hughes, will you sit with us?"

"Well, if it's not a bother…"

"You know it isn't. Please," Anna insisted, and Mrs Hughes sat across from her. "Enjoying some time off?"

"I had some errands to run and it's been a quiet day. Mr Carson didn't like my leaving, but you know how he is," Mrs Hughes said with a smile. Jack and Bea were giggling. "It's been quite some time since I ran into all of you around here."

"Mrs Turner couldn't watch them, and I had some errands to run," Anna said helplessly, smoothing Lucy's soft hair. The baby girl seemed quite content with her biscuit. "Since they've behaved appropriately I thought they deserved a treat. Jack, please, don't pull your sister's hair."

Whatever game the children were playing often resulted in that, and Anna's warning served to keep them quiet for now. Mrs Hughes eyed her with concern.

"Have you managed to do all you needed, Anna?" she asked.

"Most of it, yes," Anna answered absentmindedly. "I think I'll come back tomorrow if Mrs Turner can watch Jack and Bea."

"Well, I can watch them now if you'd like," Mrs Hughes offered kindly. "I've nowhere to be in the next hour or so, and it would spare you the time tomorrow."

Anna looked at the housekeeper in surprise. "Oh, Mrs Hughes, I could never-"

"It wouldn't be any trouble, my girl," she said. Anna smiled.

"Well, I do have one last thing to do," Anna admitted, butterflies forming in her stomach. "I don't think it would be too long."

"Well then, what's the matter?" Mrs Hughes asked with a smile. "I'll take little Lucy and we can have some more biscuits."

Anna considered the offer, catching the children's excited looks and smiling. She took a deep breath. She needed to know. Get it all over with. Have a long conversation with John in the evening.

"All right," she consented, standing up a moment later to pass Lucy to Mrs Hughes. She sighed. "I really won't be long."

"We will be fine," Mrs Hughes insisted, settling a happy Lucy on her lap.

After saying goodbye and telling the children to listen to Mrs Hughes, she left the tea room, on her way to the hospital. She was confident that if Dr Clarkson was there she could finally have some confirmation – or any certain result, really. She could easily be wrong, she briefly thought as she walked; her cycle had been quite irregular since Lucy was born. It seemed rather scary, to have four children so close together and perhaps she had been wrong indeed. Of course she was curious and even excited, but she couldn't help but think their less than ideal situation would make her rather relieved if she wasn't with child. Of course, Dr Clarkson would be the only one to answer her that.

She pushed the hospital's door open.

The children had greeted John enthusiastically, as usual, when he got home later that night. He had been lucky enough that Lord Grantham had retired earlier than usual and all the children were wide awake then. He kissed Bea and Jack's heads and took his coat off; it was a rather warm evening. Both children were already clad in their nightclothes, happily babbling about their day in the village. His heart lurched a bit at that. Mrs Hughes had mentioned running into them in the afternoon and he couldn't help but wonder if Anna had gone to see Dr Clarkson.

The children's excitement over a day out was always enchanting, and he smiled, responding correctly to them. He knew that, if the pregnancy had been indeed confirmed, it would come as a surprise, though he couldn't ever see it as a bad one. Anna had made him so much more than he had aimed to be; a husband, a father. His family was his reason for living and he had to admit he was in fact excited at the prospect of another baby. He remembered times of Anna pregnant and Jack and Beatrice as small babies. It was such a difficult time for Anna, he remembered, that Beatrice was a newborn and Jack was only a year old, but she had always looked so happy and content he never heard her complain. They were a little older now, and Lucy wasn't as young as Jack was.

Leaving the children in the parlour, occupied with their own toys, he walked towards the kitchen, further into the hall. Anna was holding a spoonful of mashed potatoes, a helpless look on her face as Lucy closed her lips and shook her head. He had witnessed such a scene way too many times; their little Lucy was terribly picky with food and very stubborn for a two year-old. Anna turned when he stopped by the doorway, a somewhat shaky smile on her features.

"You're early," she commented, turning back to Lucy. "Please, sweetheart."

"No, no, Mama," Lucy muttered her favourite words clearly. Anna let out a deep breath.

"His Lordship retired early tonight," John walked towards them. "Do you want me to try?"

"All right," Anna said dejectedly. He noticed the tip of her nose was a bit red. Her eyes seemed tired. "I still need to finish up the kitchen, but this young lady simply won't eat."

She dropped the spoon and pinched Lucy's cheek softly, making the girl giggle. John smiled at their interaction, but he noticed Anna's eyes lacked the usual sparkle. She stood up.

"I'll leave you to it," Anna said, meeting his eye. John knew he looked worried.

"Anna," he said quietly, mindful of the children in the next room. "Is there anything wrong?"

She smiled again. It did not reach her eyes. "No, of course not. I'll wash the dishes. You usually have more luck with Lucy than I do."

John sighed, but smiled as he sat down in front of Lucy's high chair, smoothing her dark curls. Lucy responded with a smile. He'd need to wait until the children were settled before talking to Anna.

"Now, Lulu," he said, looking at the little girl with a serious expression. Lucy remained smiling. "Let's make Mummy happy. She needs you to have a proper dinner."

Anna chuckled as she took some plates from the small table. He was glad to hear that.

"No, no, Papa," Lucy said, and he sighed. He would have to try something else; small trains and choo choo noises rarely entertained Lucy. She was serious now.

"All right then, we can just talk. Do you want a story?" the little girl nodded, her lips parting just a bit. John smiled. "When I was a little boy…"

He approached the spoon and her mouth opened automatically, as it normally did; he never said anything besides those words and yet Lucy always seemed interested when he said it. Anna chuckled again at the sight of their daughter chewing some food, finally, and John met her eyes again. She seemed a little brighter now.

"I don't know how you do it," she commented.

"Well, I'm lucky my daughter really likes my voice," he said quietly. Anna arched her eyebrows.

"Like her mother, then," she told him with a grin. "I swear I could hear you talk all day sometimes."

"And yet I remember you telling me to stop talking on some occasions," John said when she walked past him. He grabbed her hand in passing, making her turn around with a yelp. He chuckled and settled his hands on her waist, just as her hands came to rest on his shoulder. Her eyes trailed over his face and she ran her fingers through his hair slowly. "Anna. Are you all right? That's all I want to know."

She smiled. "Yes. I am all right," she leaned down and kissed his lips. "Don't worry."

"Stowwy, Papa?" Lucy's voice interrupted them, and Anna laughed before wriggling off his embrace, returning to her tasks.

John smiled at his baby daughter, filling a spoon with food again. "Of course."

He flickered his eyes over to Anna again as he talked. She was all right. That was enough to put his mind at ease for now.