Disclaimer: Penguins of Madagascar and all related characters are the property of Nickelodeon, DreamWorks, and any or all related affiliates. This fiction was created for the purpose of having fun and being creative, no money is being made in any way from it's creation and posting.
Deviations
Chapter 3
By
Wildgoose
(Is is dusk at the zoo, through a periscope in the H.Q. Kowalski is busy watching the new nighttime zookeeper getting started in her routine. The new zookeeper is a young blond haired woman who looked barely old enough to be out of high school much less be an operative for Antarctic command. She bops about from habitat to habitat with headphones jammed into her ear and an Ipod® fastened to her belt as she carelessly distributes the animals evening rations. Once the woman reaches the penguin habitat she tosses in their food which lands pretty much anywhere. Some of it lands in the water, ..some lands in the bushes, …some lands on the concrete slab. Once she is out of sight the penguins emerge to collect their food.)
Rico: (looks at the food floating in the water and grunts.) What a waste!
Private: You're telling me….(looks at the food that has landed on the slab) Oh dear, …not fishcakes again!
Kowalski: (holds the cakes in his trembling flippers) Curse you zookeeper, ….we …want ….FOOD! Real food, …not these aquarium wafers. Goldfish wouldn't touch these things! (Growls) How many times do we have to fix….this….PROBLEM!
Private: Things have certainly gone downhill in a hurry, haven't they. What can we do about it though?
Kowalski: I don't know! I'm not a decision maker, …I'm the options guy.
Rico: (grunts) So think of some options, then make a decision already.
Kowalski: (falls on the ground and begins to suck his flipper) I can't, …the think melon won't let me.
Private: The think melon?
Kowalski: My brain, …it want's to nitpick everything examining every detail. I, ….I think my brain may be plotting against me. It doesn't want me to make a decision. (blood curdling scream) It won't LET me!
Private: Oh dear, ….I think Kowalski may be suffering from Skipper separation anxiety.
Rico: (grunts) Nuh uh, …he's just lost it.
Private: So what do we do then?
Rico: (grunts) Only one thing to do, ….we get rid of the zookeeper! (Kowalski snaps out of it.)
Kowalski: Yes, …that's it! Why didn't I think of that, …let me think. Think, ..think, ….(begins to laugh maniacally) I could invent a time machine that would send her back to the date she was born. When she meets herself it will cause a cataclysmic paradox that will wipe her from existence all together! It's almost too easy…..
Private: A paradox, ….isn't that the kind of thing that winds up destroying the universe or something?
Kowalski: (scoffs) Alright, …I'll admit there are a few hiccups in that plan but trust me it could work.
Private: Um, …tell you what. Let's just put that thought on hold, …say indefinitely. (pause) We'll just come back to it when we're ready to have you committed, …I mean when we're ready to deal with it. (awkward pause) Slip of the tongue there, …my bad. (chuckles nervously)
Rico: (regurgitates a bazooka and grunts) Just take her out! (He vaults up to the top of the fence, levels the weapon and fires. The recoil sends him backward into the pond with a splash and a "Peter Griffin"® type laugh the whole way down. The POV snaps to the rocket as it hisses to it's target showing the zookeeper and her cart closing in fast. The POV snaps back to the habitat as a boom and a cloud of smoke are heard and seen in the distance.)
Private: Rico, …..how could you?
Rico: (grunts) Easy, …point and shoot. (Pretends to holster a weapon at his side as he waddles away.)
Private: With Skipper gone, …everything here has just gone Looney. There's no chain of command!
Kowalski: Maybe not, …but I'll bet I could still build that time machine. I could utilize the parts from the old zookeepers cell phone and …..
Private: You'll do no such thing, ..we need that to stay in communication with our people out in the field. (Pause) I am hereby assuming command of this post.
Kowalski: How exactly are you going to exert your authority over us, TUX. Wrap a five iron around our necks and putt us though a windmill?
Private: (glares at Kowalski) Don't tempt me…. (Calls over to Rico) Rico, get back here! (long pause with the tune of "The Good the Bad and the Ugly" hanging in the wind as Private tries to summon the courage to stare down his teammates.) Now I need a scouting party to check out the condition of the new zookeeper, ..if she needs help than you go get it! Is that understood? (Rico and Kowalski exchange glances)
Rico: (grunts) Did we put him in charge?
Kowalski: It would appear the young Private has stepped up to fill the command vacuum left by Skipper.
Rico: (shrugs and then grunts) Works for me.
Private: Rico, …you're my scout. Now stay sharp and report back to me a.s.a.p.. (pause) Well what are you waiting for, ..go, ..go! (Rico salutes and vaults over the fence.) Kowalski, …I want options. They couldn't have just thrown our fish away,… that would waste the zoo's money. I need to know how to find it.
Kowalski: (flippers trembling with euphoria) I, …..I feel like I have a purpose again. My brain, …..it's generating ideas instead of panicky mutinous thoughts! (long awkward pause) Hallelujah, ..Christmas day!
Rico: Keep it in church, Kowalski. I need those options! (Private turns away and looks up at the sky speaking in a hushed tone.) Sorry, …no offense. (A very faint rumble of thunder is heard in the distance as the scene fades out.)
(The scene opens the next day sometime after one in the afternoon, …Skipper, Marlene, Kitsune, and Steve are seen leaving an Optometrists office with Marlene Sporting a pair of wire framed transition glasses that immediately begin to tint as soon as they come into the sunlight. The group is much more appropriately dressed this time as opposed to the ill fitted clothes that had been provided to them before.)
Marlene: Oh my god, …..these are so cool! How do they know to get darker like that? (Steve shrugs as he is passed a note from Kitsune.)
Kitsune: (writes) Why did you spend so much money on these clothes, …I thought resources were going to be tight? (pause) This is a nice top by the way, …what did you call this?
Steve: A silk blouse, …the color is jade. (glances at Kitsune as she continues to look the blouse over) By the looks of it I stumbled onto your favorite color,…it works for you. (long pause) Resources ARE tight, …however if you're going to go looking for a job you have to make a good impression. Even though I know this guy I'm sending you to and he's doing this to repay a favor, …if I send you in there and you look bad. That makes ME look bad, …and that is simply not acceptable.
Skipper: So what is this place we're going to?
Steve: A movie theater, ….locally owned. Not one of those big chains you hear about.
Skipper: ….And you know this guy how?
Steve: He's a guy I knew in the Corps, …just leave it at that okay?
Skipper: (scoffs) Somebody's touchy.
Marlene: Knock it off Skipper, …we'll do what it takes to get home. I miss my kids. (Pause) Wait, …do they have popcorn at movie theaters?
Steve: So much you'll get sick of it after the first hour of working there, …I guarantee it. (Pause) Oh and one thing I should mention, …if at any time you guys actually end up on friendly terms with the owner, don't ask him what he used to do before the Corps. It's a family matter that he wanted to get away from.
Skipper: Fine then, …how is it that he conveniently owes you these favors?
Steve: (frowns heavily) I really don't want to talk about it Skipper. (glares at him) I mean that….
Skipper: What, ..you've got something to hide? (Steve doesn't answer as they continue to walk. While doing this Marlene finds herself looking down at her feet as they keep pace with the others.)
Marlene: I miss my tail, …it always helped me to keep my balance. With nothing anchored to it I feel like my butt is floating in midair or something. (Heads turn to Marlene with odd expressions and a moment later Kitsune passes over a note to break the uneasy silence.)
Kitsune: (writes) Way to change the subject, Marlene.
(Cut to the interior managers office at the Evergreen Cineplex, …a small but self sufficient movie theater not far from the apartment and as few as thirty blocks from the Central Park Zoo. Marlene, Skipper, and Kitsune are each sitting in uncomfortable chairs as the manager spends a great deal of time looking over their paperwork. The manager, …a husky stereotype NY Italian looking man, continuously glances up from the paperwork to look over the people in front of him. )
Skipper: (very hushed tone) How long does something like this take? We've been sitting here for an hour in front of this guy, ….are we going to work here or what? (he's nudged in the ribs by Marlene) Ow…( A note is passed discretely from Kitsune)
Kitsune: (writes) Observation tells volumes about people, ..so be silent and be patient. (After the note is read the manager leans over his desk and takes the note, reading it for himself.)
Marlene: (groans) Busted….
Manager: (gently folds the note and hands it back to Kitsune.) (Heavy NY accent) You know my friend, …the lady has a very valid point. (pause) So okay, ….Steve has filled me in on your…. predicament. You need jobs, low profile, and off the books as it were. (Long pause) To be honest, …I'm already fairly well staffed BUT my word is my word so I'll do what I can to fit you in. (Looks Skipper over) You're probably in the wrong place buddy, …you could easily get a job as a bouncer or something. I know some people over at this strip joint so if you want…..
Marlene: (hushed tone) What's a strip joint? (Kitsune passes over a note)
Kitsune: (writes) I saw something about that on the internet, …I think it's a place where human woman remove their attire and taunt men sexually with their bodies.
Marlene: (laughs nervously) That's really very kind of you sir, …but we'd really like to stick together if possible. (The manager looks her up and down.)
Manager: (looks at Skipper) You're girl?
Skipper: You could say that.
Manager: Not married though, ….(shrugs) There's not going to be any difficulties are there?
Marlene: Oh no, …we work together all the time.
Manager: That's not what I meant, …there's a lot of kids working here. Relationships form and break up all the time, …my point is that there's a lot of fishing going on in this place if you catch my drift. I don't want any fights because somebody else hits on either one of you. Just do your job, …anybody makes an advance you let them know your position. If they don't let off then you come talk to me and I'll deal with it. Do we have an understanding? (Marlene laughs nervously as the manager begins to text on his cell phone. A minute later two employee's enter the room.) Skipper and Marlene, ….these guys here will show you the ropes of this place. Just keep in mind that everybody starts low on the totem pole. (They get up and head out of the room with the employee's)
Marlene: (lightly sulks) I miss the zoo, …at least I didn't have any competition there. (as they head through the door) What's a totem pole?
Manager: (looks at Kitsune as she remains in her seat with a stoic expression.) Steve tells me that you're mute, …so that means that you can't talk is that right? (Kitsune nods) To be honest, …I'm not sure where I can put you. I need my people to be able to communicate with each other and the customers, …I don't think notes will cut the mustard. (Long silent pause) You're Japanese, right? (Kitsune nods) From the note you passed earlier I can assume that you understand the English language, right? (Kitsune nods) Alright well listen, …you've got to give me something here because I can't get a read on you. Tell me how you think you'd be able to interact with the customers. (Kitsune pauses in thought and then reaches over to turn about the monitor showing the surveillance cameras. After studying them she points to a woman inside the box office performing a transaction, ..as she does so everything that is happening is also being displayed on a large screen facing the customer. )
Kitsune: (writes) I can communicate to the customer through the display screen if you can connect it to a keyboard. (The manager leans back into his chair in thought. A moment later he picks up a handheld radio on his desk.)
Manager: Hey Al, …when you get a moment come to my office. I've got an I.T. job for you. (Puts down the radio.) He's actually one of the projectionists that work here but he's a pretty big nerd too, …if anybody can make this happen it's this moot. (Pauses with a concerned look on his face) I uh, ….I've also heard about your …..emotional difficulties. Are you sure you'll be okay working up front, …some of the people that come in here can be…uptight. (Kitsune pauses in thought and then passes a note)
Kitsune: (writes) I can make this work.
Manager: All right then, ….but if you have any problems you let me know okay? If you need someplace quiet to calm down we usually have one theater hall that's not in use for one reason or another. Just ask one of the other tellers to call me on the radio and we'll work something out.
(The scene fades out and comes back one week later as the group is coming home to the apartment late at night after work. They all appear exhausted and once inside the door they swing it shut behind them and flop onto any piece of furniture available.)
Marlene: (groans as she flips off of her shoes.) I never want to even smell popcorn again as long as I live, ….the oil gets under your fingernails and on your skin. (points to a pimple on her neck) Look at this, ….I don't even know what this is but I'm breaking out with them.
Skipper: You think you've got it bad, ….I've never had to clean the head so many times. I just can't understand why people would want to gorge themselves on junk food, …see a scary movie, and then puke it all up again. It's got to be some sort of chemical agent in the food that makes them want to do that, …or maybe….subliminal messages on the screen during one of the movies. They have the technologies for that, right?
Marlene: You're starting to think like Kowalski, Skipper. You might want to back out of that while you still have your mind.
Skipper: To tell you the truth Marlene, ….I wouldn't mind hanging out with Kowalski right about now. I could use a mission to take my mind off of things. Why did the zookeeper have to get us jobs at a movie theater, …weren't there any openings at the CIA or anything? At least in that line of work I'd be doing something I'm good at.
Marlene: You mean being paranoid?
Skipper: Have you got something against a little healthy paranoia, Marlene?
Marlene: (grits her teeth) Arghh, …..do you have to be like this ALL of the time? I'm tired, …we're all tired, and you acting like your usual self is not helping one bit!
Skipper: So you're trying to say what, Marlene? You're tired of ME?
Marlene: NO, (looks frustrated) ….I'll never get tired of you.! I'm just tired,….period. (Skipper looks slightly hurt) Look, ….. I'm in a loving relationship with you. I do, ….I love you. But the relationship has hit a major road block because the one thing that would really make all of this stress go away right now, ….we can't have! (pause) Do you want to know what makes it a thousand times worse? Other women, ….human women who seem to think that you're some kind of stud.
Skipper: I think all that popcorn has gotten to you Marlene, …you're delusional.
Marlene: (protests with hand gestures) Oh no, …I hear them talking all day long. Human woman gossip like you wouldn't BELIEVE, ….they really like the big muscular military man, …they just want to crawl up into your skin and do things with you that I don't even know what they are! (aggravated pause) I mean, ….what the freak is a threesome? (A crumpled piece of paper hit's Marlene in the head. She picks it up and unfolds it to read.)
Kitsune: (writes) Break the rules and get a room already, you're driving me crazy.
Marlene: You know as well as I do that we're two different spec…..
Kitsune: (writes) Not any more….
Marlene: Wha…, wait what?(looks down at herself and then inside of her clothing and then looks over at Skipper, and back and forth a few more times before grabbing him and starting down the hall with him in tow with Kitsune playfully waving goodbye.)
Skipper: What the deuce! (the door swings shut behind them and from the kitchen the phone can be heard ringing.) (from inside the room) Sweet mother MacArthur, ….that ain't right!
Kitsune: (still in the main room with the phone ringing in the background. She gets up and posts a note right on the phone and lets it ring.) (writes) Sorry, …busy getting some right now. Please leave your name and number after the squeal. (She shrugs and walks over to and through the French doors leading out onto the balcony where she sits down to meditate for the evening. Sometime later Steve comes home and walks in on Skipper and Marlene without being noticed. He backs out and grumbles something about "It was time to wash the sheets anyway", and heads over to the couch to get some sleep. )
(The scene cuts to very early in the morning, it's about two A.M. and the siren of an emergency vehicle can be heard passing by and then fading into the distance. This serves to wake Kitsune just enough for her to notice panted breathing coming from nearby. It is an unnerving sound to the point that despite attempts to ignore it she is unable and sits up on the couch in attempt to learn the source. In the faint glow from the streetlights coming through the window she can see the outline of somebody sitting upright on the other couch. After several moments she turns on the nearest lamp to see Steve sitting there wearing only pajama bottoms, …his eyes are open but just seem to be staring off into space. Kitsune looks the rest of him over to find him covered in a cold sweat while stile continuing to breath in a light pant. She waves her hand in front of his face with no reaction, she notices a light froth about his lips as if he were trying to eliminate a horrible taste from his mouth by spitting a lot. Kitsune takes a step back to take another look at him, …there are scars that look to have come from several sources, …some might be burns, ..others punctures, ..some she doesn't know what. She moves to touch him on the shoulder and in a god awful fright he turns his head ninety degrees to face her looking scared out of his mind. Kitsune begins to make gestures to calm him down now that she has his attention, after about fifteen minutes he begins to become coherent.)
Kitsune: (writes) Oh my God, …what's wrong with you?
Steve: (looks about the room uncertain of his location at first while wiping his mouth with his arm. Eventually he makes eye contact with Kitsune after reading the note.) Nothing, …I just have a migraine. (Kitsune gawks as he gets up to retrieve something from the medicine cabinet and then attempts to go back to sleep. Kitsune makes an "I don't know what to do with you" gesture and tries to go back to sleep herself.)
(Cut to a week later in the evening at the Central Park Zoo. Inside the penguin habitat the penguins are busy discussing a plan similar to the one used the first time their food had been replaced.)
Kowalski: Alright, …since we now know that the flamingo can't be trusted when it comes to obtaining fish we won't have the advantage of an eye in the sky. We'll have to rely on very precise planning if we're to score enough sustenance to hold us until the Skipper and the others come back and we can resolve this matter once and for all.
Private: Right, …Rico do you have the schematics of the delivery route for the seafood truck? (Rico regurgitates a large rolled up map.) There's an awful lot of lights for the truck to stop at, …how do we get into the truck?
Kowalski: The same way as before, ..of coarse.
Private: Are you sure, …because the last time we broke into the wrong truck and almost got eaten ourselves by a bunch of large dogs.
Rico: (growls) No dogs!
Kowalski: Oh come on, …that was a one in a million fluke. The plan can't possibly fail this time.
Private: I'm sure, …tell that to the feathers I lost out of my bum.
Kowalski: Look, …there are always risks. Keep in mind that out objective is to obtain that succulent salty treat from the sea, …and this objective is WORTH the risk.
Rico: (grunts) FISH..!
Private: (sighs) All right then, …I guess we don't have much of a choice. When is the truck scheduled to run it's route?
Kowalski: That's the only hard part, …waiting. The truck won't run it's route in this part of the city until tomorrow night. I…. (he is interrupted by a voice from behind)
Voice: Mr. Kowalski? (the penguins turn to face the voice.)
Kowalski: Hannibal, ….what are you doing out this late. You should be in bed with your siblings.
Hannibal: That's just it, …I don't want to sleep alone. Can I sleep here tonight?
Private: Alone? Where are your siblings?
Hannibal: They went out to try to search for mom, …we really miss her.
Kowalski: Good lord, ….they have no idea what's out there. How can they possibly even know where they're going?
Hannibal: Yoshi designed the Op, …that's all I know.
Private: Perhaps they're headed for the old zookeepers place, …do you think they even remember where it is?
Rico: (grunts) Why would they go there?
Kowalski: It makes sense actually, …the zookeeper is the one who took Skipper, Marlene , and Kitsune out of the zoo. Logic would suggest that he might have taken them to his home for safe keeping. (shakes his head) Gah, ….but there's no way to know for sure. We could spend the whole night searching the city.
Hannibal: They took that phone the zookeeper left, …does that help?
Kowalski: They took the PHONE? I needed that thing for parts, …now how am I supposed to build my time machine? (Hannibal stares at Kowalski in confusion.)
Hannibal: Um, …I dunno. I really hadn't thought about that.
Private: Don't mind Kowalski, …he's just a little down and out with Skipper gone.
Rico: (grunts) We can't leave them out there alone.
Kowalski: (sighs) Rico's right, ..they have no idea what the city is like at night. They could wind up smeared under the tire of some taxi cab. We'll have to go out searching for them!
Private: Are you sure you're not just trying to get that phone back?
Kowalski: (looks slightly embarrassed) Can't we do both?
(cut to fifteen blocks from the zoo as two Otters discreetly jump off of the rear bumper of a city bus and allow themselves to roll to a stop before righting themselves.)
Loki: (dusts his paws) I think we're getting better at that.
Yoshi: Like dad says, …practice makes perfect.
Loki: I have a thought….
Yoshi: Don't worry, there's a first time for everything.
Loki: (slaps his knee) Har har, ….that was just so funny it wasn't. (Yoshi rolls her eyes.)
Yoshi: So what's your thought already, …don't keep me in suspense.
Loki: Well, ….if the baboons could turn mom and dad into humans. When they switch them back, …could they just make dad an otter too? That way they could really BE mom and dad, …doing what mom's and dad's do?
Yoshi: Are you hoping for more siblings or something?
Loki: It's not a crime is it, …we're all about the same age. It would be nice to have a younger brother or sister to kick around.
Yoshi: So you're a big family kind of guy, ..huh? Good luck if the zoo ever let's you have a mate, …you'd probably want the girl to be a baby machine.
Loki: (sighs) Gee thanks for listening, ….let's just find mom and dad. (looks about) This is the building, …how do we get up to the apartment? Somehow I don't think we'd be able to take the doorman by ourselves.
Yoshi: (looks about at the upper floors.) The fire escapes, ….the metal work looks climbable.
(cut to twenty minutes later on the third floor as the pups climb up onto the balcony. They peer into the doors to find the apartment dark with no sign that anybodies home.)
Loki: Well that Idea was a bust, …where else could mom and dad be? (Yoshi shrugs in annoyance and then begins to sniff the air)
Yoshi: Do you smell popcorn? (Loki sniffs the air)
Loki: It's faint, ..but yes. What are you getting at?
Yoshi: Please, …mom and popcorn are inseparable. Where there's popcorn, …there's mom.
Loki: Are you kidding? That could be coming from somebody's apartment, …are we going to search all of them?
Yoshi: I doubt it, ….mom said on the phone the last time we talked to her that she was working at a small movie theater to make money so she could come home. If we follow the popcorn smell it will probably take us there.
Loki: Do you have any idea how many movie theaters are probably in this city?
Yoshi: If you've got any better ideas then now's the time. (after a moment he shrugs)
Loki: I've got nothing, ….I guess we go then. (pause) What do we do when we find her though?
Yoshi: Hugs, and kisses come to mind. Maybe we can take in a movie while we're there. (The high five each other.)
Yoshi/Loki: AWSOME!
Chapter 4 coming soon.
Comments and suggestions are always welcome.