Chapter One - The Tour Proper
The tour started off well enough. Willy found himself chuckling at the gasps of horror, as the hand coat hangers grabbed hold of the outer accoutrements of the unsuspecting individuals beneath them.
"Little surprises around every corner, but nothing dangerous!" he hastened to reassure them.
The parents had baulked at the kids being asked to sign the contract, but his fiat that if the children didn't sign they wouldn't be allowed to enter the Factory soon squashed that. Honestly, the children themselves had done the squashing, with each informing their parents that there was no way they were going to miss this treat now! All except little Charlie Bucket. He waited until the others had signed before turning wide eyes upon Willy.
"Gosh, Mr. Wonka, there's so much of it, and the writing keeps getting smaller. I'm not even sure it's all in English... Can you tell me what it says?" The boy's entire stance begged for enlightenment.
Chuckling at this different type of audacity, Willy explained. "Well, Mr. Inquisitive, it says no more and no less than that you will do as you are told, and if you do not do so, you accept full responsibility for the consequences," Willy responded, waiting to see how Charlie would take this.
The boy shrugged before looking away, his expression turning thoughtful. Somehow Willy felt that this was a way the boy protected himself. Ask questions, but don't push. Show enough backbone not to seem easy prey, but not so much so to be considered anyone's rival. Well, today, whether they knew it or not, all of these children were rivals to each other. Master Bucket would have to hone his strategy if he wanted to win.
Not that any of the children knew that there was anything beyond the current Factory tour at stake. No, Willy was hugging that delicious morsel of information to himself. The excitement of knowing that he knew something that everyone else was unaware of, was one of the few reasons Willy found his participation in such a farce pallatible. Despite his lack of knowledge, Charlie might yet rise to the challenge; he asked the right questions. Willy decided he'd relish discovering for himself who this child really was.
"And how do I know you are telling me the truth, Mr. Wonka?"
Willy chuckled again, a deep, uplifting sound. "Well, unless you choose to read the document for yourself, Charlie, you don't. However, I assure you, as much as you can trust the word of one who is a stranger to you, I am telling you the truth."
Charlie looked at him speculatively for a moment longer. "Oh!" Then he turned to his grandfather. "What do you think, Grandpa Joe?"
The older man fixed Willy with a penetrating gaze. How did this make any difference? Charlie was too young to sign anything and make it legally binding. Taking Charlie by the shoulders, he fairly pushed his grandson to the wall. "Sign away, Charlie; we got nothing to lose."
Willy pursed his lips. Nothing to lose? Why did he say that? Everyone has something to lose. Was it possible the old man knew something Willy didn't? Was it simply that the old gent was reckless? He could be. Willy narrowed his eyes, as he looked around the gathered group, gawking at the continuing byplay. That was alright; he didn't want their best behaviour, he wanted to see their unvarnished characters, warts and all. If he could push the right buttons, he could see a bit more of who these people were. Was this one of Grandpa Joe's buttons? No, the old gent was merely excited about seeing the Factory. By all appearances, Charlie's Grandpa Joe was far more keen on Willy's Factory than were any of the other adults. How intriguing; Willy might actually like this pair.
As Charlie signed his name, Willy continued to muse. That little boy was impressing in a way Willy hadn't expected. Charlie didn't feel the need to show off any bratty sense of entitlement he may have had. He stuck to his values, made sure he knew exactly what he was doing, and still accepted that even with believing himself right, he should double check with those in charge of him first. He didn't ask permission exactly, but he did make sure that his grandfather didn't disagree with his decision. This could prove valuable if he were to become Willy's apprentice. Charlie… he could be live-with-able. He could be the answer. Willy blinked, the shock of such a positive reaction to one of the children taking him by surprise.
The other children also impressed him, but not favourably. Willy could barely suppress rolling his eyes. Their audacity was second to none. With a suppressed smile, Willy remembered the discussion he had held with James about this part of the tour. James had been in favour of having the adults sign instead of the children. This would make it legally binding, he'd pointed out. Willy had briefly considered it, before deciding against the idea. Not only did he want the children to feel like it was their decision, but if the parents were in any way disagreeable to the idea, this would lead to yet another delay in getting into the Factory proper. Delay? That might be the best outcome, there were worse possibilities: they might not get past the first hurdle! The tour might end before it had fully begun, and with the amount of energy already invested in this event, that eventuality was unthinkable.
Willy ushered them on through to the Corridor of Illusions, noting while doing so, that the parents continued to impress with their outrage at the unusual. Honestly, did they think he would let them enter his hallowed grounds any easy way they chose? He had worked out his routine with absolute care, to make sure that no one had any idea what he was doing. He had to push in just the right place for the Wonkaturnavator to work, and if he made them move around like sheep in a sheep pen while he was at it, then maybe they wouldn't notice the sensation of outside movement so easily.
Willy was ecstatic when the closest anyone else had got was by suggesting they were in a funhouse, rather than a Factory. That comment had potential! Funhouse candy made in a funhouse room! Sweets that made you see the world as if reflected in funhouse mirrors! However, that new candy idea needed shelving for the moment. He could think on it further, once this farce was over with.
In some ways, the funhouse comment fitted quite well into the next phase of the tour. One brief musical lock later, and he opened the door to the Chocolate Room. It was time to invite them into his world of pure imagination. Really, Willy was still questioning his sanity doing this. He didn't want to let these horrible people into the paradise he had built for himself. Some of the brattier, more impudent kids kept trying to push him, hoping to maybe get round and down into the room quicker than he was ready to allow. A firm tap of his walking-stick near a hand was enough to discourage this.
Finally, they reached the bottom of the stair case. Was he really going to do this? Willy sighed. He had to do this: he needed an heir. If he didn't do this, how would he find one? At that, he suddenly, and graciously, bowed, forming into a physical invitation for those in front of him to make their full entrance to the room. As they went, he continued singing to himself about the wonder of imagination, trying to stifle his disquietude. Or at least, ignore it. After a few gasps of wonder, which relaxed his sceptical thoughts for the moment, the comments his cynical side had been waiting for were made. Mrs. Gloop mentioned that the river was horribly dirty, and one of the know-it-all fathers, who insisted on correcting him on every point imaginable, decided to point it out to him. Seriously, did these people think that he would allow such a thing to happen in his Factory? Were they trying to prove something? Finally Willy allowed that the river was made of chocolate, and metaphorically sat back to watch the fun.
This fun included seeing Grandpa Joe seeming to inhale the contents of the Chocolate Room. Much as he was keen on letting people make their own decisions and deal with the consequences, Willy couldn't feel quite content ignoring the gluttony which exceeded that of the Gloop family, and found himself wandering over to Joe. "You might want to pace yourself, Grandpa Joe, sir. You might make yourself sick if you continue to eat like that." Willy would rather not deal with people who were feeling less than well on a candy tour.
The next interlude involved having to explain the presence and appearance of his workforce. The children were all agog with wonder at the little people, who were stood safely on the other side of the river. The adults? Dismissive was the best description of their attitude. All except for Grandpa Joe, of course. Veruca almost had Willy box her ears when he heard her demand that her father buy her an Oompa-Loompa. Willy did not condone slavery! It seemed that Violet didn't think much of the suggestion either, as she immediately rounded on Veruca and told her off. That realisation caused Willy to relax a little. Surprise, surprise, Violet had something going for her! He could maybe like her.
Soon after this, someone alerted him to the fact that Augustus was trying to drink the river. "Oh, uh, Augustus, please don't do that. My chocolate must never be touched by human hands!" To Willy's shock, the boy stopped and looked at him.
"Why not?" Augustus asked.
Willy stood looking at the lad, open mouthed. Had he really stopped drinking the chocolate when he was asked to? This didn't seem typical behaviour for the boy. Willy shook himself before answering. Deciding not to mention just how many bars of chocolate the river represented, he explained: "Well, you see, Augustus, the river chocolate goes into my candy bars, and we can't sell them if the chocolate isn't kept free of contamination. Humans carry many germs on their hands, which are dangerous to others if eaten. When you put your hands in the river, the germs on your hands came into contact with the chocolate, making it impossible for us to sell it."
"Sorry," the boy grunted awkwardly, just to have Mr. Wonka wave him off. "Anyway," he muttered, and clapped his hands. Willy turned to look up stream along the river, towards the mouth of a large tunnel that showed around a turn.
The group glanced at each other in confusion. What had got the chocolatier's attention now? Then Willy turned to face the group again and began speaking.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, we are now going for a little boat ride."
The words were spoken in French. Mr. Salt glanced sideways at him. "What's he talking about?" asked Mr. Salt, confusion evident in his eyes.
Willy turned the full weight of his somehow steel-like eyes on him. "Would you like to come on board the Wonkatania?" Willy returned, still speaking in French, and gesturing towards a paddle boat, operated by Oompa-Loompas, which now floated along the river.
Mrs. Teevee, determined to prove how cultured she was, returned a short comment in French, just after Mr. Salt insisted that Veruca should be allowed to board first. Soon after, the party walked up the ramp with care, with Willy rolling his eyes at the officious Mr. Salt. It quickly became apparent that there would only be enough space for everyone if the two girls sat on their father's laps, and even at that it would be a bit of a push. With everyone seated, Willy gave a nod to the Oompa-Loompas, who turned to their tasks. The boat jostled slightly as they set off.
They had only been going a short while when Willy realised he was sat next to Charlie, the only child who hadn't been objectionable so far. Seeing how thin the boy looked, Willy decided he wanted to help him, and surreptitiously picked up a ladle and a mug. Using the implement to scoop out a generous portion of river chocolate he handed the mugful to the boy.
"Drink up, Charlie," Willy instructed, leaving no room for demurral. "You look like you could use this," he explained.
The boy flushed, even as he responded. "Thank you Mr. Wonka." Then he took a long, slow, swallow of the thick liquid, a bright smile crossing his face as he tasted the warm and frothy substance for the first time. It was incredible. "Oh Mr. Wonka! I've never tasted anything this good before!" he exclaimed. "Not even one of your candy bars!"
Feeling somewhat surprised at the lack of comments about 'favouritism' from the other passengers, Willy simply smiled enigmatically down at the lad.
A second later, Charlie glanced at his Grandfather. Willy followed his gaze, spotting a disgruntled, almost mulish, expression mirrored there. A moment later, the mug of chocolate ended up in Joe's grasp. Willy couldn't quite tell whether it was Charlie, or Joe, who masterminded the change. The angry look was wiped away by a smug expression, and when the old man had swallowed the remainder of the mug, this changed to pure blissful contentment.
Willy turned his attention to the rest of the journey, continuing to smile to himself as the passengers did react as expected to the somewhat sinister tunnel looming in front of them. As they entered the dark and somehow forbidding orifice, Willy began to add to the general sense of disquietude which was starting to pervade his companions, by starting to hum to himself. His listeners, already somewhat spooked by a sense of foreboding, were made even more aware of the ominous atmosphere by the occasional phrase they caught in the creepy tune, and glimpses of the horrific visuals that surrounded them on all sides.
"No way of knowing…"
Violet sat, stunned into silence, sending a sidelong glance at her father. Why did the not knowing seem like such a dangerous thing?
"Going..."
Augustus shuddered, and clung onto his equally gargantuan mother, as they rushed through the rapids in the half dark. Why had he got on this boat in the first place?
"Rowing…"
Mike found this whole trip an amazing thrill. What an adventure. He wouldn't have missed this for anything he could have been offered. His mother shrieked in his ear, just as Charlie gasped.
"Slugworth!" the boy's voice called.
Mike only just heard him above all the other clamour. Ouch! As much as he was loving the journey, his ears were not pleased at the treatment they were receiving.
"Flowing…"
Veruca shrieked. As much as the paddle boat had appealed before, she was quickly concluding that it wasn't as beautiful as she had initially thought. Who would want a boat after this experience? It would be a miracle if no one were sick. Augustus was starting to look suspiciously green.
Suddenly the volume of Wonka's voice raised, and lost all tunefulness, as he began to shout about hurricanes blowing! Danger growing! Fires of hell glowing! Grisly reaper mowing! Danger growing! Rowers rowing! And whatever else they were doing, certainly not slowing!
The timbre and volume of his voice got louder and louder, causing everyone on board to huddle together in a desperate attempt to gather courage from each other, until one of the fathers called out that it had 'gone quite far enough!'
Wonka agreed with the man, and called to the workers to 'stop the boat!'
In that instant, the lights came on, Willy hushed, and it all stopped. Tension ebbed away as the boat was secured to the nearest bank. Seeing the growing level of consternation amongst his guests, and knowing he needed to counteract this at once, Willy encouraged them all to disembark, musing to himself while doing so that the biggest thing which stood out to him from that experience was that Charlie had tensed only for one moment of the boat ride, when a picture of James, in his role as Arthur Slugworth, had flashed in front of him.
This was immensely pleasing. Charlie could cope with everything thrown at him, but Slugworth was not Charlie's friend. Charlie's reaction was different to that of every other child on the tour. Their visages spoke far more of guilt at that picture than anything else. The adults that accompanied them looked equally guilty. The only exception to this was Charlie's grandfather. He had looked mildly curious at the image, almost as if he half recognised the face; then he was distracted by Charlie's horrified exclamation, and turned his attention to his grandson. Had the group but known it, that one image of Slugworth was the whole reason for that part of the tour. The various reactions to the picture told Willy far more about the values and motivations of each than a hundred conversations with them could. Aside from Charlie's, Mike reaction had stuck out: he'd spent the whole journey laughing, egging Willy on. That boy was a thrill-seeker extraordinaire.
"Little surprises around every corner, but nothing dangerous," is, of course, a direct quote from the 1971 film, "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory". As are are, "Sign away, Charlie; we got nothing to lose," "Oh, uh, Augustus, please don't do that. My chocolate must never be touched by human hands!" and, "What's he talking about?"
My thanks to everyone who has read this so far, particularly to Linkwonka88, and Turrislucidus, for thr reviews. Limkwonka88... the story is complete, although the rest needs thorough editing before it is ready to post, so update speed might slow down some now. Turrislucidus. I am preaching to the choir, I know, but I believe that, outside of a few, small, elements that can be lifted from the initial source material, the book, there is no excuse to mix and match versions of the story. You pick one, you stick with it, warts and all. In my opinion, anything else is the author admitting that they don't have a good enough imagination to come up with a more 'in character' storyline, and so, they have to rely on other people's ideas. Beyond having no wish to insult myself, why would I pick entire chunks out of a version that is not my, personal, cup of tea?