Okay, so… I guess you actually want an explanation for my lateness, especially since I promised to update every two weeks. First, however, I want to warn you that THIS IS NOT THE WHOLE CHAPTER (UPDATE: It now is, actually, the whole chapter). This is just the first part of it. I wouldn't have published this if I wasn't so sorry about my lateness. And about that…

The short explanation? Real Life Occurs.

The long explanation? Get some popcorn, this is gonna be long.

First, two of my classmates decided to get into a fight, which resulted in one broken nose and two stab wounds, and two barely-teenagers that were too stubborn to go to the medic. And THAT resulted in a classroom, covered in blood. I'm not joking. I was in the room. And guess who had to clean the mess up? That's right. Me. And when the two idiots decided that no, there was absolutely no way they would go to the medic no matter how much we pleaded them, who had to take care of their wounds and force them to go to the fucking medic? That was also me. The result was, I got home in shock, and was half-catatonic for the rest of the week. I could not write two sentences without wanting to cry, throw up and kill something at the same time for another week. (No, all of us are fine, the former best friends are still best friends, and really, who cares they almost murdered each other? I certainly don't. And yes, they weren't expelled. Elite school my ass.) (26/02/2017: And those two idiots are now my best friends, go figure. ANYWAY!)

Then I got a D and all my electronics were banned.

And on Friday I'm required to go to the annual Massacre-The-Pig Fest in my village. I cannot say no, obviously.

Then, Sunday morning will come and I will fly to Wien (26/02/2017: Oopsie, it's written Vienna in English…), where I will stay the whole damn Spring Vacation. No wifi, of course.

And all of this culminates in this half-written chapter. Fear not, I will complete it as soon as I can. For now, though, this is all.

A heartfelt 'Thank you' said to all my readers, reviewers, and those who put up with shit for me. Thanks once again!

Also, there was that one review for the first chapter that basically said this story is trash and that it would be reported, however I got the feeling the reviewer was offended by something in particular. I do realize it may have been only an act of spite, hate, whatever, but if something is really wrong with it, then can someone please tell me so I can fix it? I also realized I wrote Minato as 'Konoha's Yellow Lightning' instead of 'Konoha's Yellow Flash' in the previous chapter (though now it's fixed). Damn you, Japanese!

Enjoy please!

Just by watching the four fidgeting teens in front of him, Sarutobi Hiruzen can feel the crushing exhaustion pressing its very, very heavy being onto him. The brats are from the Uzumaki Clan, alright. Only one of those crazy whackos can wear him out in such a short time, and now that there are four in one place, he has the feeling he would need even more sake than usual…

Okay, so he has actually watched their confrontation with the Konoha traitor Mizuki with his crystal ball, and maybe that particular event is what's wringing his composure out of him, but the old man stands by his earlier assessment: these Uzumaki fellows are going to be the death of him.

"So," the Hokage begins, catching himself before any of his weariness can slip in his voice, "what do we have here. Four Uzumaki and a Konoha Academy Teacher who beat up and almost killed another Konoha Academy Teacher, traitor or not." Sharp eyes trail over all and each of them, carefully observing their body language. "This could very well be a sign for war, don't you think?"

All five people tense and try to cover their reaction, to varying degrees of success. Naruto fails spectacularly, jaw falling down from shock and almost hitting the wooden floor. The veins on the male redhead's arms bulge out, and his entire face convulses a few times before setting into an angry frown. Iruka and the girl are mostly on even grounds; the redhead's tense posture and the tightening around the brownhaired ninja's eyes is all they show their annoyance, shock and fear through. The only one who hardly shows any emotion is the cyan-haired boy, whose minute finger twitch is barely noted.

Still, it brings a frown to Sarutobi's wrinkled face. Uzumakis are usually as direct as possible with allies and people they generally don't know. The only ones they bother hiding their reactions and emotions from are either enemies or people they hate. He's very afraid of what their reactions speak about their feelings about Konoha. But that isn't the most worrying thing in this situation; actually it's quite far from it.

While it is a surprise not only one, but three actual Uzumaki have met Naruto, Hiruzen's aware that the clan is hardly completely wiped out. Those stubborn bastards are born with heads harder than rock, in more ways than one would want to know. Of course one measly massacre of their whole village will leave maybe half thousand of them. That's quite expected, at least as far as he knows.

No, what's worrying is that they've called the blond a future Clan Head and expressed their undying loyalty towards him. With the way things are going, it won't be a surprise if the Jinchuuriki decides to go with his family, and sadly, that's one of the things that can never happen. No matter how much the old man cares about Naruto, and no matter how much he wants to do what makes the child happy, the harsh truth is that Uzumaki Naruto has been made to be a weapon of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, and no amount of parenting and good-wishing will change that fact.

And, whether he likes it or not, Uzumaki Naruto is going to be a good weapon for Konoha, because he has no choice, just like he has had no choice in becoming a ninja of said village. It pains the wizened Hokage to think about the boy he views as another grandson like that, but this is his family's legacy. This is what his grandmother* Mito was forced to become when she sealed the Kyuubi into herself, and what his mother Kushina was groomed to be from her very birth.

And said family is now shaping into a very possible escape from his designed job. Hiruzen has absolutely no doubt that if Naruto wants to leave the village and someone actively objects, they would be blasted into tiny smidgens before one would be able to say 'Fuuinjutsu'. And he isn't exaggerating – when an Uzumaki is pissed off, they are pissed off. In fact, the 'God of Shinobi' feels he should be eternally thankful that the girl in the team hadn't gone all out on that Chuunin or there exists the very real danger that forest they have been fighting in will not be standing anymore. Iruka is, by the slight frown marring his face, also mostly aware of all the points he has thought of.

The cyan-haired male suddenly smiles reassuringly at the Hokage, bringing his hands to rest over one another in front of him.

"While it must not seem that way at first, we assure you that we don't wish to obtain the Kyuubi or steal your Jinchuuriki. We just wanted to see our relative and be sure that the company he's in does not bother or shun him in any way." Which means, basically, they've tested the way all citizens of Konoha treat their cousin (?) and, by the looks of things, they haven't made the cut. Maybe they've even failed spectacularly. The fact that they have been unaware of his existence until now doesn't win any points with them, either. Maybe, somewhere far, far away, in this very moment, there is an Uzumaki Council made exclusively from Uzumaki Elders that are deciding the fate of the Village Hidden in the Leaves while they're just standing in the Hokage's Office, and betting on who'll place the most Konoha-nin heads on a stick. It's quite hard to figure out by the perfect mask of indifference and cheer placed on the teen's face.

On the other hand, next to him his huge cousin's easier to read, however it's still unnatural to have such a grasp on someone's emotions at such a young age, especially if that person's an Uzumaki. The Hokage knows right then and there that he doesn't want to become enemies with them, even forgetting the history and blood they share. If he manages to convince the whole Uzumaki family these three are coming from, Naruto'll get his family, Konoha'll get an enormous power boost, and both deflection rate from the Clan will get brought down to zero while the possibility of other Uzumakis joining the village grows. However, that will get unwanted attention from Kiri, Kumo and Iwa, neither of which they're on speaking terms with, Danzo'll most likely stick his wrinkled nose into the Clan, incurring their wrath, and Uchiha Sasuke's probably going to deflect when he finds out 'the loser' had some family left while he's all alone. The last one isn't an over-reaction, either – the Uchiha is easily angered and had a very big envious streak. While he might not deflect right now, or at all if they're careful, with the current team placement all that needs are a few years, coupled with the stress the raven-haired boy's pulling himself through, and it'll be more than enough for him to finally snap.

The Hokage sighs and turns to the cyanhead, doing everything possible to hide his worry. The teen has correctly guessed his thoughts, and that's something only a very small fraction of the people he has spoken to could claim to have done. In other words, now the biggest threat in this room is the samurai.

"If I could request you to contact your Elder or the one acting in that post, Isamu-kun." It's a well-worded order, and coupled with that it has the annoying side-effect of shaving off the pride of whoever such a tone is used onto. The addressed boy tenses a fraction more, and his smile widens a fraction, however there is no visible irritation in his posture. Hiruzen feels his eyes narrow slightly. To have such a control over one's emotions, not to mention at such an early age, it would have taken a whole life dedicated to honing the various kinds of poker faces and remembering muscle positions… No one save ROOT would have the ability to pull something like that off. There's something fishy going on here...

"Ah, so you saw that. Not that I should doubt it, but…" The boy trails off, embarrassedly rubbing the back of his neck, and bringing the shinobi out of his thoughts.

"You should not underestimate neither me nor Konoha, even as old as we are. I have learned a few tricks about spotting spies over the years." An awkward 'hehe' answers the Hokage. Still smiling, Isamu takes out a scroll and a brush and plops down on the floor.

"One letter to the Acting Clan Elder coming right away!"

The nervous gulp the tall guy makes says everything about the reaction of said Acting Clan Elder when he gets said letter.

At first glance, Uzumaki Takeshi is no more than what one would have expected from the neighboring old man – almost always drunk, yelling at the youngsters three hours a day like it was his job, and throwing stones at shameless couples who dare do things in front of his house or in public. He is, also, a man who has seen more than one would've expected when faced with his drunken dances and songs. He might've been more than just old, and diligently pretending to be senile, but everyone who knows his name knows not to get in his way. When it comes to his village, no one that remembers him doubts that he'll raze even the Sage of Six Paths' home if it's to save his family.

So when he gets information that in fact Kushina had a very much still alive son that's been living in Konoha this whole time and is in all probability a Jinchuuriki, Takeshi is understandably furious. Acting like the Clan Elder he is supposed to be for once, he sends the siblings Tsugumi and Tetsuya to assist Isamu – a marvelous spy, that boy is, though still young and inexperienced – and prays to all gods he knows that they will be alright.

So he isn't exactly sure how to react when he gets another letter from the cyan-haired teen to come into the village immediately. After much debate with both himself and the sake barrel, however, his war-honed instincts finally get their way. When he gets there, guns blazing, the ANBUs escort him to the Hokage's office, where he's faced with four sheepish-looking Uzumakis and a tired Sarutobi who's rubbing his temples. Heh. Renowned village leader or not, the kid still can't take an Uzutane for more than fifteen minutes without wishing the ground will swallow him, it seems.

Finishing his accession of the village leader, Takeshi turns his furious glare towards his younglings, who – even Isamu – are awkwardly shuffling around and looking at the floor like it's the most interesting thing ever seen or made. The Uzumaki Elder is seriously tempted to start screaming at them right then and there, but barely refrains from doing so. Though his youth has long since passed, the old man still can remember all the shenanigans he has done when he'd been but a boy, and how scolding would never work. One reaps what one sows, apparently, but honestly, he's not that annoyed at the kids. It isn't like the time when they got the whole family banned from Iwa, and were almost announced as missing-nins because they did that to the Tsuchikage… And, anyway, how does one almost break the strongest Jinton user in the Five Great Nations' back with a bowl of ramen? How?

(Takeshi's sure that that Onoki boy is still limping and is most likely crippled for life, but oh well. It's still funny, if a bit worrying. What kids can't do with a little imagination these days…)

The point is, there's not much to be mad about. They… didn't exactly not get into trouble, and yes, now that the Hokage's explained it, they (actually, mostly Tsugumi, the calm healer girl with a soothing voice and even more soothing touch, especially for his back pains, and the one he's the least expected it from, go figure) had almost beaten a Konoha Chuunin to death, but it isn't his problem, not really, even if they are his kids. It isn't his fault some dumbass wimp pissed off an already irritated Uzumaki and got what he deserved, and while he's the Acting Clan Leader, it isn't his job to keep the kids on a leash. They'll learn control and self-discipline. Someday.

Somehow.

*cough*

Anyway.

Where had he left off…? Ah, yes. The beaten half to death Chuunin traitor and how it isn't his problem. Because it isn't. Sure, he'll scold them and beat them up afterwards, and then leave them for the rest of the camp, but that's the normal procedure for accidents like this one.

Well, at least none of them are dead or crippled. The probability of that happening is almost zero, especially with Tsugumi there, but anything can happen. At least that ninja lesson they've learned. After all, Uzushio was supposed to be the safest place on earth, and look how fast it was destroyed by a bunch of cocky idiots. They did take three-fourths of the attacking force with them, yes, but the fact stands. They have to expect the unexpected, lest they get slaughtered again. Takeshi isn't going to sit by and watch as his clan gets destroyed again. Never again.

And if he has to fry a Kage or two to assure that they'll all be safe, then damnit all to the Gods, he's going to do it without even a drop of remorse.

Bringing himself out of his musings, the bald man turns to the Hokage again, flashing an almost-toothless grin at the village leader and squinting his already small eyes. The man gulps almost invisibly, and Takeshi's smile widens.

Yes, this is going to be fun.

Isamu can't help but curl a corner of his mouth upwards. It isn't often they get to see the old fart's brain working as it should, and it's a sight to see. He wants to be like that when he grows up.

If not for anything else, just to see the tortured faces of the people he's negotiating with.

The Hokage's face is even better than he anticipated.

He just can't wait until he's able to do it like Gramps too!

Well, that is, if he's able to survive after this particular scolding, the boy grimly thinks while eyeing the malicious twitch of Takeshi's fingers every time he glances at them. And that won't even the worst he'll get for dragging everyone in this mess. The rest of the clan'll beat him up till he's meat paste for this. And his mother will just maybe kill him for this, which is a relief (she's a gentle woman, bless her soul).

Saika, on the other hand, will positively kill him for this (that kid has no soul, damn her to hell).

Isamu closes his eyes and promptly starts praying.

All Sarutobi Hiruzen can think about an hour after that meeting is that he needs more sake. Way more sake.

Also, if he finds whoever has said that it's easy to handle Uzumakis, that guy is so getting hit with his bō staff and then getting roasted by a specifically-saved-just-for-this-kind-of-scenarios Katon jutsu.

Needless to say, the kid's Clan gets what they want: custody of Naruto, permission to stay here, permission to train him… Also, for whatever reason, permission to beat perverts up, as well as an official ban which said that they can't use ramen cups as more than ramen cups, in which there will be only ramen, and that everyone seen using a ramen cup as a weapon when not in crucial situations will be arrested and stripped from rights to eat ramen and train for a month. The faces of the three born-and-raised-as Uzumaki are… suspiciously blank when it comes to that part of the discussion for some reason that the Third Hokage is sure he doesn't want to know unless he wants to be scarred for life.

Also, why did the tealhaired boy start praying in the middle of the negotiations?

And even worse, why did the two other kids follow his example?

Hiruzen is starting to think he has made a huge mistake.

A very, very huge mistake.

At least they'll hold off the actual document filling until Naruto has passed his official Genin test, which is a big relief. There's enough paperwork to last the next three centuries even without all the custody and property transfer that's awaiting him.

(The reaction of the boy when he finds out he's actually finally becoming a ninja is ridiculous, but, to the Hokage's amazement and Takeshi's amusement, when the Uzu team hears that, they just start praying harder.)

They have barely managed to convince Naruto not to say a word about his new family to anyone. He's wanted to brag to anyone and everyone that he has a clan and a family that actually loves and cherishes him, and the guesses of why, exactly, things as natural as that have to be proved, just serves to piss off the already severely pissed off Uzumakis even more.

Takeshi wants to make sure that the boy (who he's quickly starting to view as another grandson) really does make Genin, and if he doesn't, for whatever reason, well. Hiruzen has been so exhausted by the end of their negotiations, that he's missed one very crucial detail: the Uzumaki Clan don't have to be a part of the Konoha Village to train Naruto, and no one's specified where they would be training him, exactly.

Isamu has been caught deceiving The Third Hokage, sure, and that's impressive in itself, but Takeshi's twice the God of Shinobi's age, at least, and has seen more horrors than the afore-mentioned man could even imagine. Things like that never really leave a person unscathed, and, in most cases, make them even more ruthless and ready to do anything to prevent these things from happening again than before.

There are still many tricks the little Sarutobi has yet to learn to recognize and rebut, and if it's in the name of his Village, Takeshi's willing to do anything and everything.

That includes watching the Village Hidden in the Leaves fall apart in case their Jinchuuriki is ever taken away.

…

After all, the Chieftain of Fortitude admits to himself, in the darkest corners of his mind, Konoha was the one who watched them fall without helping first.

Naruto passing the Genin Exam is met with mixed reactions. On one hand, he's absolutely star-struck, jumping around like he's won a three-years-free-ramen ticket, and that makes the four Uzumaki smile so wide it hurts. On the other hand, him actually passing the Genin Exam means they can't lowkey kidnap him and bring him to their camp. Naruto is officially a ninja of Konoha now, which means the Uzumaki clan can, technically, be a part of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, but it puts a damper on a whole lot of plans that have to be either put off or entirely scrapped over. Either way, it isn't that pleasant of a situation.

Also, Naruto's teammates are unbelievable. After doing the barest minimum of healing she can manage while in her condition, Tsugumi tracks the Sakura girl all day, and discovers, much to her horror, that training is certainly not the first priority of the pink-haired kunoichi. After raging at length about mushy, round peaches and their beauty escapades, the redhead sits herself down, arms crossed, and sulks for the rest of the night, eventually succumbing to sleep in her sitting position and sleep-smacking anyone who tries to touch her. The next morning, she's rudely awakened by a Haruno Sakura lookalike swooning 'Sasuke-kun 3!' that's promptly kicked in the crotch with all the outrage a fourteen years old can muster. The Konoha rookie ninja turns back into her enormous monkey of a brother holding his privates and crying in pain.

(It makes her day, but she'll never admit that out loud – medics are supposed to be gentle and compassionate, not sadistic.)

Isamu is the one to volunteer for Sasuke-tracking, something Tetsuya is immensely grateful for. First off, he isn't as sneaky as his cousin (though he'd sooner die than say that to his face), and his temper is notorious back in the camp. The little Uchiha looks like an overall arrogant shit, as far as he can guess (and here he can just hear his sister chiding him for judging someone so fast), and the oldest has never been good at dealing with those types of people. He typically just explodes and pounds them into the ground till their ego's down to suitable levels, but, quite obviously, that isn't going to work now. They have to be discreet and everything, after all (which Tetsuya finds more than annoying, but his opinion is almost never appreciated, especially when it's absolutely pointless).

(Also, his feet hurt like a bitch – he's got chakra burns all over his feet and isn't really in the mood to track little shits. So. Isamu is taking care of it.)

So, the Uzumaki leave their Ice Prince to deal with the Fire Lizard (Naruto chokes on his spit when he hears that nickname for the first time), and instead choose to go to a tea house to have a nice, relaxing afternoon. After the tenth glare in their direction, however, Takeshi finds his patience wearing thin, and he and his children leave quite quickly, with an added crude gesture or two, courtesy of one very irate Tetsuya.

Evening finds them stuffing their faces with one of the most heavenly ramen recipes they have ever tried. (The chief – Teuchi, if Tetsuya isn't mistaken – has been wearing a very proud grin the whole time after that particular comment leaves his grandfather's lips. Simple things to make simple people** happy, he supposes.)

Isamu appears in their shared room a little after midnight, smile and posture all sharp edges and cutthroat words. He describes in almost painful detail the rotten nature of the village – most civilians take Uchiha Sasuke almost as an equal to the Hokage, which is absolutely ridiculous. It's no wonder the kid has so much problems and so little friends, the tealhead spits out in a most-controlled manner over a cup of green tea while Naruto stares at him as if seeing him for the first time; Uchiha Sasuke is expected to be everything his Clan hadn't been, but was remembered as, and that mix of coddling and inconceivable pressure have been doing an excellent job in helping the boy's slippage down the Sanity mountain.

Most of the night is spent roasting all imbecilic citizens of Konoha on fine fire, and Naruto spends hours listening to his new-found relatives unweaving his teammate's self and then weaving it back again, thinking how to help the 'poor kid'. The blond himself has taken almost no part in the discussion, though not because of lack of interest; he quips from time to time with his own guesses and propositions, but is content, for the most part, to just sit back and listen, and sees his teammate in another, if not entirely new, because Naruto does have eyes, light.

He's normally very loud and boisterous, and so it is very easy to forget that to do each of his pranks, he has to be a master of a few very important things: information gathering, tracking, planning, trap-planting and stealth (the orange jumpsuit isn't only a fashion statement, as many have surely thought; Naruto may not be a prodigy or a genius, at least not in the know-it-all way, but he is very, very far from stupid – combining ninja practice and his favorite things in the world is something he does frequently).

The result of staying up a night to debate about his teammates results in sleeping till the afternoon hours, but Naruto doesn't regret it even one bit. He's learned many interesting things that he's sure to remember from now on, and besides, today's the day he gets to finally visit the rest of his family, which is pretty exciting in and of itself.

If there's one thing that's bothering him, however, it's Gramps Takeshi's odd, chilling smile that resurfaces every few minutes.

(Naruto has a nagging feeling somewhere in his belly that the old man is angry at the Hokage, but he doesn't dare ask, even if he gets the kidnapping-like vibe from this whole situation. The other Uzumaki kids don't comment on it, so he just keeps his tongue behind his teeth and readies his things without as much as a complain, in fear of setting the Clan Elder off.

Some things, Naruto wisely muses, one is better off not knowing.)

The extremely pleased expression of their Clan Elder does nothing to ease the tension of the three Uzumaki – it does the exact opposite, actually. The wide smirk, which is almost splitting his wrinkled face and shows off all his crooked and missing teeth, sends shivers down the backs of all those who have the misfortune of seeing it. Even the normally dense-ish Naruto is able to notice it, and has been lightly shivering all the way towards his new home. He manages, however, to distract himself by concentrating really hard on running and jumping from branch to branch – it's a necessity to do so, because the aged man is extremely fast for supposedly just an old sack full of bones with a hurt back.

Surprisingly, it's the other Uzumakis who are lagging behind. Despite his cheerful smile, Isamu is in the very back, and Tsugumi is only a bit faster than him. Tetsuya seems neither weary, nor affected in any way, so it must be just that they're tired, the blond rationalizes. After all, they've had to run to Konoha, and unlike the older male, they're smaller – it's only logical they have less stamina than him.

Finally, after what is surely the most awkward and fear-filled hour and a half ever, Naruto manages to glimpse something white between the thick coverage of trees that kind of looks like a tent, maybe. Propelling himself as forward as he can without outrunning his guides, and keen on keeping his eyes open so as to see all without missing anything, the blond's wide grin is even brighter than before.

All of them drop from the branches into a clearing before them, and the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki feels his jaw go slack.

This… isn't really what he expected.

When they said 'something like a Clan', he had imagined a big wooden house and two, at most three families dressed in clothes similar to the ones the Uzumakis that had come for him had been wearing.

In a way, he isn't that wrong. At the same time, however, he isn't right, either.

On the grass are chaotically strewn white tents, some small and some big, some with bonfires and whole barbeque stands in front of them, some with little compact forges, some with food-, clothes- or jewelry stands. It's a just like a merchant village, but it isn't quite like the ones he'd seen before in the books the academy had given them (when he bothered to open them). In the illustrations, everything was kept bare and simple. There was hardly a splash of color, everything was either beige or brown, and the people looked unhappy and underfed.

Here though, it's nothing like that. Everything, though seemingly chaotic, is organized by an obviously self-made system, and relatively clean. The feelings he gets from the place as a whole are warm, and homey, and… just amazing! Everything's colorful and as if full of joy and life, and the people all have big grins and are talking to each other in cheerful voices. There are so many different and interesting things around, Naruto feels his neck crack a couple of times as he tries to take everything in and remember it, from the flags on the tents, the spirals on every possible surface, to the jewelry, the flamboyant silk laid on numerous stands, as well as the heavenly, mouth-watering smell of food that's in the air…

However, the most amazing thing that no other can possibly thump is the sheer amount of people that he can see walking around. The people aren't nearly as many as in Konoha, of course, but look just as busy and even more lively and happy as they do their daily tasks. Majority of them are redheads, and in many different shades ranging from close to black to almost white-pink, however he can see a few greenheads, a pretty darkish-blue and-… is that light purple?

Most of them have pale skin, and all are clad with kimonos with a red swirl on the back. Some of them are plain in color, some have beads, gold, silver and, as far as he can tell, precious stones sewn into them. Some have detached sleeves, which are significantly longer than their owners' arms. Most have flower designs woven into them, even the males, but strangely, it doesn't look feminine, but rather regal and imposing. Also, the blond notices, there are very few people with short hair, men or otherwise. The long hair is worn in many different styles, some simple like just a ponytail, and some up in intricate buns decorated with all kinds of ribbons and clips and other accessories, again looking more like they were made for royalty than for simple civilians or ninja.

Naruto's brain feels like mush. The only half-coherent thought he has is pretty. And after that, unbelievably, family.

As soon as they land on the grass, everything instantly quiets down. Everyone spins to face them with speed that screams of trained shinobi, even the kids, and stare at them with unreadable expressions for a total of three seconds, before they all break out in the most deafening cheer Naruto has ever heard. For a moment he thinks he's gone deaf, but no, he can still hear the ear-splitting screams of his new family as some of them start dancing, and others start fighting to see him better. However, no one dares to step closer.

"Dattebayo…" Naruto can only mutter in the midst of all screams and cheers, astonished beyond having the ability to speak in full sentences. The whole of the Uzumaki suddenly shuts up as a whole and snaps in one motion to look at him (again). The Genin startles, looking around, gauging the expressions of the crowd confusedly and slightly afraid. In the resulting silence, one of the women in the crowd finally, after some hesitation, steps forward, lips trembling, as she looks at the blond with tears in her eyes.

"Hello, Naruto. Glad to meet you at last." The woman says, playing with her long bangs, and obviously trying to keep her voice smooth. Her hair isn't done in any way and is just hanging rather limply down her back, Naruto notices distractedly. "I am Uzumaki Natsume, and the person who will be teaching you Taijutsu. I hope we can get along." Everything quiets down again, all whispers disappearing instantly, as if awaiting his reaction. After a bit of thought, the boy decides to just proceed like he always does things – they're his family, and no one of the Uzumakis that escorted him to here have said anything about his behavior. So he immediately sends the woman with the motherly aura – thinking, just for a moment, if she resembles his mother or maybe his father, before banishing the thought – a blinding smile and makes his way towards her, sticking out a hand a bit nervously.

"I am Uzumaki Naruto, dattebayo! Nice to meetcha too!" The excited whispers return with full force.

"Just like his mother…" Is heard somewhere from the crowd, and oh, so that means his mother is (was?) an Uzumaki, but Naruto doesn't care about from where the comment had come right now, instead stacking away the information in his brain for later. He's facing a member of his Clan, a family member! He isn't allowed to mess up now! But still, it surely won't hurt if…

"Sorry if it might bother you," he hates how polite he sounds when he's nervous, but he can't help it, "but can I get a hug please?" The rest of the sentence is mumbled and the words are slurred together a little, but his speech is still understandable. Natsume barely manages to choke down her sob, and nods, opening her arms.

The young Uzumaki dashes to the awaiting arms of the woman, and buries himself into her. She kinda smells like sea and dawn, he thinks dazedly. And home. However, he doesn't allow himself the pleasantry of crying his eyes out – if he's going to be Clan Head, he has to be in control of his emotions and be cool and all. It won't do any good if he starts bawling like a baby in front of his new-found family, after all. Who knows how they will react!...

"UZUSHIO GROUP HUG!" A female voice yells somewhere left from him, and there are roars of approval from everywhere, mixed with a sniff or two and the occasional hiccup. The Spirals, as one, run towards the hugging pair, laughing and crying and mauling each other as they try to reach the blond first. In the midst of the family chaos, the dam finally breaks, and Naruto starts sobbing.

He's finally with his family.

Naruto's fine with learning anything, really, absolutely anything – even if it's history, as long as it's for his Clan and family.

Yes, he can handle a few boring theory lessons.

Okay, so maybe they aren't so boring, if only because they're new and still interesting. In the first one, they (he and his teacher, the pretty bluehead who he had seen earlier and who introduced herself as Uzumaki Mahiru) cover the traditions of the Uzumaki Clan. Everything apparently has a meaning, one that Naruto is very eager to memorize so well he can recite it in his sleep, which is part of the reason why the girl is writing everything she says on a blank scroll so that Naruto can review carefully it when they're done with the lesson. (Apparently, his penmanship is atrocious and he shouldn't write down such important things himself until it's fixed.)

"Long hair is usually traditional in Uzumakis, because, initially, our Clan was the one who kept the Shrines of the Gods safe. Rather like a miko, or a priest, would, however it's slightly different. That, however, we'll cover at a later date." She hurries to add, seeing the blond opening his mouth. The boy closes it with a snap and nods, eyebrows furrowing in concentration. "Well, I think that you're wondering why are we keeping even now, since all of us are ninja, and long hair is rather unpractical in such a choice of profession. And that is actually why I chose to bring this up today."

Naruto nods again, eyes attentive, posture tense. He looks like he's listening to an S-Rank mission briefing, which is both very cute and very funny. In fact, Mahiru is sure that if it isn't her that's sitting across the table, the boy would have been definitely grabbed and squeezed numerous times by some random squealing clansmember peeking from the entrance of the tent. As it is, she herself is barely containing both her laugh and the yell - which certainly isn't a squeal - in. The bluehead coughs delicately in her fist and continues briskly, lips twitching.

"While most of us still do worship the old Gods, as the Hidden Villages state, this is not the main reason, nor is it the most important. It is rather simple - because long hair helps us master our kekkei genkai, the Adamantine Sealing Chains." Mahiru explains, ignoring Naruto's slightly astonished look; the residual shock from learning that he actually possesses a rather famous and more than simply formidable bloodline still hasn't passed completely, it seems. His initial reaction to the news… well, that had been something else. "We first channel chakra into our hair to practice moving it around." The girl describes the basics only, as theory isn't needed to master the technique. It's mainly feeling, and it's different for everyone, so no amount of cramming or studying will help the blond with that. Luckily, it seems he learns mostly on the field, just like most Uzutanes. "Only when you can fight with your hair on a roughly Chuunin-level, you're allowed to begin forming your Chains."

Seeing the bright grin Naruto is giving her, Mahiru decides not to mention that Uzushio's idea of what a Chuunin level should be is completely different from Konoha's (albeit current only) Chuunin level. There is a reason why their village was attacked by three nations and still around a hundred people had managed to survive without so much as a scratch, after all. And that's not counting those who had been injured but still stayed alive.

There's a reason why they were called 'the Village of Longevity', though Miharu doesn't think it's yet the right time to introduce Naruto to such a gory part of their Village History.

"Of course, every Uzumaki's Chains are slightly different, as you should probably know, but the principle is mostly the same." Naruto nods along, every word as if being engraved into his brain so he won't forget. "When one masters the Chains, they're allowed to cut their hair and do whatever they want with it, basically. However, most people keep them long – still doing it to uphold the tradition, I guess. And well, you have to have long hair to be a priest." Mahiru shrugs, her hand stilling over the scroll. "Also, I heard most people think kunoichi – or, well, shinobi in general – don't normally wear their hair long, so we are using it as a kind of a cover. You should know, however, that all our clansmen can fight well enough not to be hindered by simple things like hair length." There's awe burning in the boy's eyes as he watches her stand up. "We are done for now, but if you have any questions…"

"Oh!" He suddenly exclaimes, jumping up. "Isamu said that I should expect a few families at the most, but I'm pretty sure there are about two hundred people here now. How come?"

Mahiru blinks a few times to clear her head.

"Well, they have all come to greet you, of course. You are the future Clan Head, and Kushina-oba-sama's son. It is only proper. And they're not even close to two hundred–"

Naruto's mouth forms an 'o'. Then he shriekes in fright. Mahiru stares.

"Naruto-sama, what-"

"HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO REMEMBER SO MANY NAMES?! I'M ABSOLUTELY NO GOOD WITH THIS STUFF!"

Mahiru sighs.

This is going to be a long day.

It was a long day, Mahiru grumbles to herself that night while massaging her head. The whole clan had decided to celebrate, which resulted in ungodly amounts of sake and general nudeness courtesy of everyone fifteen cups in. The girl had excused herself around midnight, claiming her head hurt like hell, and had tried to sleep it off. Needless to say, that particular activity is nigh impossible with all the noise, though that's to be expected. It is a party, after all; and not only that, it's an Uzutane the-whole-freaking-village-is-here-let's-get-drunk kind of party.

But those are only the usual reasons that lead to her vicious migraine. No matter how much water she drinks or how many times Tsugumi tries to heal her, the awful headache doesn't want to go away, and, the bluehead grimly thinks, it has a good reason not to.

Uzumaki Naruto had taken to the apparent wildness and the general debauchery of the Clan like a duck to water.

That isn't certainly a good thing.

Another wild howl, followed by a scream and an explosion resound around, mixing with the many voices of cheering people.

…

Well. At least they're getting along well, if nothing else.

…

Maybe a little too well, if Mahiru's flaming tent is anything to go by.

NOTES AND EXPLANATIONS:

*No, Uzumaki Mito is not his direct grandmother. I just called her that, because well, how else can you call her? My village is made of almost only of my relatives, and for me every aged female is either an aunt or a grandmother. However, if there is a specific word for this, I would very much appreciate it if you could tell me what it is.

**Tetsuya uses 'simple' as in meaning 'normal, easy', and it's in no way an insult. BONUS: It's actually an Uzumaki Clan expression.

The Names and Characters:

Mahiru – she was meant to be that serious but still loving type of a big sister that's secretly mush and all that goes in that package, but I think I got a little out of it. We'll see how it turns out in the end. And she has blue hair, just in case you didn't catch that. By the way, I love drawing her. Anyway, her name means 'midday', and it was taken from Owari no Seraph's Hiiragi Mahiru (I love her).

Takeshi – he is one of my favorite characters, because come on, who doesn't love it when the always grumpy and drunk grandpa gets badass? Well, I certainly do. We will see his hidden depths later, and that is his creation. Also, since I'm not really sure if I managed to describe him properly, he's 130 cm tall, wrinkly, thin, bald and almost toothless, and when not angry, smiling a wide gummy smile with closed, squinty eyes.

Natsume – one of Kushina's numerous cousins and an example of a not so rowdy Uzumaki (because yes, lo and behold, there actually are some like that. As long as you don't piss them off, of course). She's just that average aunty down the street who beats up drunks with her dining table.

Okay, so if you've noticed me getting a little bit too energetic, I think I'm sugar-high, but that's kind of hard to notice (no it's not) so there. Done.