"Remember to do everything Pearl tells you."
"Yes, mom."
"And don't try anything reckless. You're just backup."
"Yes, mom, I understand."
"What will you do if anything goes wrong?"
"Get back to the ship and fly away."
"And what is your job on this mission?"
"Guarding the ship."
"Are you sure you want to do this?" Priyanka's kneeled down and her eyes bored into her daughter
"Yes," Connie stared back resolutely, hiding any nerves. She couldn't afford to show anything but confidence and determination.
Priyanka's mouth was a hard line before she engulfed Connie into a vice-like hug. Connie let her mother work it out — she was happy just to have gotten this type of concession, after Mr. Universe was able to aid Sapphire in talking her mother into it.
She tried to dull the ache in her own heart as she hugged her mom back.
Priyanka released her daughter, holding her at arm's length.
"Make sure you come back," Priyanka said. "So I can ground you for the next 10 years."
"I'll come back, mom," Connie grabbed one of her mother's hands, shrugging off her bad attempt at humour. Priyanka nodded, before finally letting go and leaving Connie at the front door of her home.
Priyanka walked right into Greg's arms as he looked on, gently holding her as she sought the most immediate source of comfort she could find.
Her mother's sobs tore through Connie. She was glad her father was still at work and wasn't there to make her feel any worse.
"There, there, she's going to be fine," Greg said, offering a few pats on the back. He looked at Connie and Sapphire, who stood on the threshold. "You should probably go."
Connie simply nodded.
"Thanks for everything, Mr. Universe."
"Don't mention it," he replied, as she turned around and closed the door on her home.
The fall chill was biting as the pair walked towards the closest warp pad about two miles outside Connie's suburban neighbourhood. It was a lot more inconvenient than travelling via Lion, but supposedly the big cat was nowhere to be found.
Connie had never actually interacted with Sapphire outside of a shared dreamscape. It was strange seeing the small gem in the flesh, walking with a royal-like grace. She was not sure why it was Sapphire who had come to get her, but she figured it was a bad omen if she was separated from Ruby.
Garnet always seemed like an unbreakable figure to Connie. Powerful and resolute, absolutely unbeatable. She had seen that Garnet had her own demons when she trained Steven and her, but Garnet also appeared to have such a strong handle on them — much more so than herself. The relationship that was Ruby and Sapphire looked strong enough to handle anything.
It was something that Connie envied.
But as a separate gem, Sapphire did not have the same mighty presence as her fused form. Sapphire was stoic and sure like Garnet, but lacked the sense of power that always seemed to radiate from the fusion. As they walked along, Connie peered backwards. She surmised the small trail of snow Sapphire left behind was also probably a bad sign.
"I'm sure you have a lot of questions," the gem said in her monotonous voice. Connie lost her train of thought as she struggled to think of what she should ask.
"I...I guess I do," Connie stuttered out.
"Ask away. We have quite a ways to go yet. It is best you know what is to come."
Connie paused to consider what she should ask Sapphire. Despite her curiosity about the gem, one question dominated all others. One that nagged at the back of her mind that she was trying not to focus on.
"Why did you talk to my mother for so long? Shouldn't we be trying to move fast to save Steven?"
Sapphire didn't answer immediately. Connie waited, frowning as the gem took time to answer.
"Patience," Sapphie said suddenly. "Is needed here. We have to go in with a plan, and with an appropriate amount of preparation. Rushing in will only lead to our failure."
The wind howled past Connie's ears as she considered the gem's point. It sounded sensible, but something about it rubbed Connie the wrong way. Didn't they need to act as fast as possible so Homeworld didn't have time to mess with Steven?
"Homeworld won't really hurt Steven," Sapphire said, as if reading Connie's thoughts. "They think he's just a human not worth much consideration. He will be fine for a little while. And there are… some things we want to plan for before we retrieve him."
"Things like?"
"Worst case scenarios," Sapphire said cryptically. Connie frowned as they approached the edge of the uburb and could see the rolling grass hills up ahead.
Sapphire was being withdrawn, much more so than she had grown accustomed to with Garnet. Connie realized she should not find that surprising. If Sapphire was unfused, she and Ruby must be arguing, which Steven had said brought out the worst in them. Connie tried to calculate a way to squeeze out the answers she sought. How would Steven approach this?
"So...you can see scenarios where we go and rescue Steven?" Future vision had been hard for Connie to wrap her head around. It was all the more tricky when she tried to think about how it might be different for Sapphire compared to Garnet.
"In essence," Sapphire replied. "One at a time. It's not as reliable as I once thought."
Connie considered the question bursting to the front of her mind. She knew it would not be a nice question to ask, but she did not feel up to politeness. She had to know.
"Did you see Steven getting captured?"
Connie walked a few more steps before she realized Sapphire had stopped. She turned around to see Sapphire standing in place, head tilted downward. The air felt colder and Connie noticed a small ring of ice building up from the bottom of Sapphire's dress.
She instantly regretted asking.
"We saw many things that could have happened," Sapphire replied. Her voice was lifeless. "We tried to avoid the worst. We did see that happening, but it was unlikely. One of the worst scenarios. I couldn't stop it."
Connie immediately tried to fix her mistake as she stepped closer to the gem.
"Hey, it's okay," Connie blurted out. "I...I didn't mean to -"
"The past is in the past," Sapphire said, taking a large step out of the ring of ice that had grown up to her ankles. "All we can do now is look towards the future."
Connie stood still in the chilling wind as Sapphire stepped past her, ice trailing in the gem's wake. Connie followed her, clutching a hand to her own chest.
"I'm so sorry," Connie said. She did not appreciate being shrugged off as the guilt gnawed at her.
"It is fine," Sapphire brushed the apology aside. "It is not your fault."
The words hung in the air between them. Connie thought hard, trying to think of a way to help. The last thing she wanted was to leave Sapphire hurt due to her rudeness.
"Sapphire, you know that-'
"I think it's best if we end this conversation for now," Sapphire interrupted, clearly off-put. Connie's hands balled into fists at the silencing tactic.
Connie impulsively ran in front of Sapphire and tried to stare her down. It was difficult, with Sapphire's eye hidden under her hair, but Sapphire paused all the same.
"You're not the only one that feels that way, you know!"
The evening wind filled the empty space and sound between them. Sapphire's face looked confused and Connie hoped she had managed to get through to her.
"What?"
"You're not the only one that feels this way," Connie repeated, gaining surety. She hoped she was guessing right at Sapphire's problem. "Who feels at fault. You...I could have been there. I should have been there. Pearl taught me how to protect him...and I couldn't."
Connie stared at the dying grass beneath her, flecks of snow tipping them from Sapphire's frosty aura.
"That's…" Sapphire shattered the silence. "Illogical. You don't need to feel that way, Connie."
Connie turned her head back up, surprised at the emotionless answer.
"Why that illogical?" Connie asked, taking a hard step toward the gem. "If I could have been there, I could have done something!"
"Sorry," Sapphire said, stepping back and turning around. Connie immediately stopped as the blue gem went meek before her. "I'm sorry, Connie. I'm...I'm not good at this kind of thing. I can't...I want to, but I don't know what to do."
Connie stared at Sapphire's back, hand stretched out, unsure of whether she should try to offer more comfort or if she could. Snow fell around them from the cloudy sky, the first glimpse of winter upon them. Neither of them could think of what to say or do.
"SAPPHIRE!"
Fortunately, a spark broke through the solid ice between the two.
They heard a voice in the distance and both turned to see a strange fire start to approach them from across a couple of hills. The ball of flame didn't spread, but was still closing in rapidly. Connie's hand instinctively reached for her sword and drew it out, facing the approaching unknown and getting herself into a battle stance.
But Sapphire stepped forward, arms in front of her, preparing to greet the oncoming flame.
"You know you really shouldn't do that Ruby," Sapphire said as the gem stopped in front of her, the fire dissipating. Ruby stood hunched over and panting, trying to collect herself.
"I'm sorry!" Ruby said suddenly, grasping Sapphire's shoulders and pulling her into a hug. "It's my fault! I was being stupid."
Sapphire shook in her lover's arms but gently untangled herself from Ruby's grip. She held Ruby at arm's length while Ruby looked on befuddled.
"It's okay," Sapphire said softly. "You weren't being stupid. I understand how you feel. I.. wanted to go save him right away too. It wasn't the right thing to do, but you mustn't blame yourself."
"Like heck I won't!" Ruby shouted. Connie noticed the grass beneath Ruby start to smoke as she watched the lover's quarrel, unsure of what she should do.
Sapphire shook her head. A small wet trail flowed down from under the bangs of her hair. "It wasn't you that held us back. It was me."
"I was scared Sapphire!" Ruby hopped into the air as she shouted. "I just...I didn't want to face her. I didn't push us hard enough, I should have-"
"It was my fault," Sapphire said, grabbing Ruby's suddenly flailing hands and trying to calm her lover down. "We saw all those futures and I just….froze up. I didn't want to do anything. I just….just…." her sobs broke her speech as Ruby grabbed her and the two sank into the grass.
"It was me, Sapphy," Ruby said. "It was me. I'm sorry I broke apart from you. I should have stayed with you. I just...I was just so mad. I know...I know you were right. We'll...we'll get him back," Ruby held the weeping Sapphire tight to her, tears shining across her own face as well.
"He shouldn't even be gone," Sapphire mumbled.
Connie let the scene play out, frozen to the ground as she sheathed her sword. She watched the pair of gems rock together and tried to think of something she could do, something she could say, anything to make this better and make the painful scene end.
She started to realize just what it was two were going through. Garnet bore the heavy burden of leadership from the crystal gems. She bore the vision that was supposed to guide them and protect them from falling into too much harm. She was torn seeing all the ways Blue Diamond's visit to Earth could go wrong and being unable to stop one of the worst possibilities from coming to pass. Divided over what to do after it happened.
Connie wracked her brain. She wished Steven were here — he was the emotional core that kept the gems together, brought them up when they were down. That wasn't a role she would ever be able to step into.
But perhaps empathy could be enough.
Connie stepped closer to the pair and sat down next to them, crossing her legs. The crying pair of gems looked up, seeing the human girl close her eyes and lay Rose's sheathed sword across her lap, as if meditating.
"If I were there, I could have done something," Connie said, repeating her point from earlier. She looked down and noticed wet marks appear on the pink sword beneath her. "I could have protected him, we could have fought together, gotten away. But I didn't get to be there. I was stuck here when he needed me."
Connie didn't look up, but she heard the sobbing of the gems stop. There was a tense silence as Connie struggled to get her feelings off her chest.
"It's hard," Connie said, clutching the sword closer to her. "I know how you feel. To want to do more. I'm just...sorry. I wish I -"
There was a familiar sound. A hand grabbed Connie's shoulder and the small girl looked up. It was hard to see through her glasses misted up by the cold and misery, but Garnet's outline was easy to recognize. Garnet gently grabbed the sword out of her hands and placed it aside, before hugging Connie tightly.
"I guess we're all being a little illogical," Garnet said. Connie just clutched and put her face into Garnet's shoulder, too drained of energy to do anything else. The two held close together and watched as a full moon rose higher and peeked through the clouds in the sky. The world would keep turning.
Garnet slowly untangled herself from Connie. "Lay down," Garnet said, before flopping down herself. Perplexed, Connie did as she was told, laying down next to the now statuesque gem.
Away from the lights of suburbia, the stars began to peek out from above the shifting clouds. They were breathtaking. It was easy enough to forget universe's captivating beauty. The peaceful stargazing helped Connie take pause for what was happening — the ever patient Garnet's intent.
"Sometimes, I just wish I didn't have all this human stuff to do," Connie eventually confessed as she relished the moment, hands folded.
"Your humanity is part of who you are," Garnet replied. Connie was happy to have the sagely version of Garnet with her right now. "It's part of who Steven is. It's not a part of you that you should turn your back on."
"I know, I know," Connie sighed, twiddling her thumbs. "But I hear all these stories from Steven about his adventures and what he gets up to when I'm not around. Even after I learned how to fight, I'm stilling missing so much...and I'm not there to help him. I just...don't want to miss out anymore."
Connie paused, eyes rolling over to her stoic companion, gauging her expression.
"I...I kind of wish I had what you do."
A small smile appeared on Garnet's face, but the fusion kept her gaze skyward.
"What do you mean?"
Connie struggled to think of how she could explain it. It was hard for her to think about the comparison between Garnet and what she and Steven shared.
"You….Ruby and Sapphire…" Connie paused to collect her thoughts again before proceeding "You're always there for each other. And even when you split apart, it doesn't seem like you're ever separated for long. Everything that happens to you, you face together. You don't miss out on each other's lives, because your lives are...the same."
"I don't know if I want to be a fusion forever," Connie said quickly, turning her head back to the stars. "It's….hard to think about, doing what you do. But I still want to be there with Steven every step of the way. And if I'm going to protect him — and the rest of the world — I feel like I need to be with him more. I wasn't there to defend him this time, when he needed it. I don't want that to happen again."
Connie looked over to Garnet again, awaiting a response. The girl saw the fusion look down at her own hands, gazing down at the palms that held her two gems.
"Ruby and Sapphire existed for hundreds of years before they really met on Earth. But when they did…" Garnet clasped her hands together. "They realized that they completed one another. And in time, they never wanted to be apart. Their existence as Homeworld gems before that was not anything worth staying for."
Garnet got up into a sitting position, turning her gaze to the landscape ahead of her. The faint outline of Beach City could be seen from the top of the hill they sat on. Connie moved up with her, watching Garnet in rapt attention.
"The truth is, I see a lot of me in you and Steven," Garnet said, looking down at Connie. The human girl blushed and turned her head away. "I haven't said it before, but I think you should know that. And however the pair of you decide to live out your lives together, I'll support it."
"But…" Garnet went on, looking back at the skyline and her home in the distance. "Humans are different from us. We fell in love with what they were, even though we couldn't exactly share it. Humans grow and live freely — and that was something Ruby and Sapphire didn't have on Homeworld. It's something you should treasure."
Connie eyes looked with Garnet at the outline of Beach City, many miles in the distance. She thought about all the people there and the bustle of the ocean-side town. She thought about her parents. She thought about her school and her teachers, and the friends she was starting to make there.
She also remembered all the days Steven and her just spent reading books together, or watching movies, or just hanging out at the beach. The days she longed to have again.
"Thanks, Garnet," Connie said, smiling. She looked up at the fusion, who was smiling right along with her. She wished she could find something to help Garnet, like the fusion had helped her.
"I can't really relate to the future vision stuff," Connie said. She scolded herself internally for not holding a candle to Steven at comforting people. "But Steven….he'd say it's not your fault, either. I'm sure he wouldn't-"
Garnet shook her head and brought a finger to her lips, gently shushing Connie.
"It is hard," Garnet said. "When you can't stop some things from happening. But I know I can't blame myself. I fell into bad, old habits of relying too much on future vision. But I've long since realized I can't really control the future. Sometimes, I need a reminder about that."
Garnet grinned down at Connie. "You helped me find myself again. Thank you for that, Connie."
"Oh," Connie found herself blushing again and instinctively curled her body in slightly. "Don't mention it. I didn't really do anything."
Garnet adjusted her spectacles, still smiling. Connie felt Garnet looking through her.
"You sell yourself short," Garnet said, patting Connie's head briefly. "A trait you and Steven share."
"Perhaps," Connie conceded, looking away from the unrelenting gaze. "He does that a lot more than me."
"Perhaps," Garnet echoed her, pulling her hand back as the two looked out into the distance. A comfortable silence fell between them, with only the distant sound of bugs and animals filling the night air.
"It must be hard carrying that burden," Connie said suddenly. "Being the leader, having future vision. How do you do all that?"
"I learned from the best," Garnet said. Connie could guess who that meant. "And I have a lot of help. Pearl, Amethyst, Steven — we've grown into a good team. I can rely on them, and they can rely on me. That's how we get by."
Connie smiled at that. They were far from conventional, but at their core, they were as tight nit as her own family.
After a few more minutes, Connie was first one to stand up, and she held out a hand to Garnet.
"Should we get going? I'm sure the others are waiting for us."
Garnet smiled and took the small girl's hand. "Lead the way."
The two walked side by side towards the nearby warp pad. Connie breathed deeply as they stepped on the crystalline platform.
She couldn't fault herself for losing Steven — that wouldn't help anyone. She would take things out on who was really responsible — Homeworld.
As the light engulfed her form and the distant outline of Beach City faded from view, her mind flashed back again to the warm summer days spent with Steven.
She would get those days back. She had to.
The next chapter, Despair, will be posted March 4.
Thank you and credit to my editor, Meepyonnee, for helping make this story shine brighter. And thank you readers for the kind reviews; they never fail to brighten up my day.