The Sliver of Light in the Dark

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own anything Twilight related. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.

Summary: What if Bella didn't survive Reneesme's birth? What would Edward do? Would he kill himself and leave Renesme without both her parents?

EPOV

I stared at my angel. Her lower half was still covered in her own blood.

Edward. Someone called. I refused to look away from Bella.

"Yes?" I responded.

I know what you are feeling and I'm so sorry for you loss. Jasper thought.

I was so caught of guard that I looked at him.

"Thank you." I whispered.

It was tough to face the fact that I had lost what I was trying to hold on to most. Of course I love Renesmee. I would do anything for her but, she is a constant reminder of the love I have for Bella. And now because of me she doesn't have her mother.

I lowered my head again, staring at the floor with the new guilt that now washed over me.

I heard Jacob's thoughts coming from outside.

"There's someone at the door." I whispered.

Jacob's smell soon reached us and Carlisle flew downstairs. I heard him open the door to let Jacob in.

"What happened?" Was all Jacob said.

He had seen Carlisle's grim expression and was searching the living room for Bella.

"Upstairs." Was all that Carlisle said.

Jacob walked past Carlisle then and raced up the stairs. With every step his heartbeat grew faster and louder.

What happened? What was wrong? Something was wrong by the look on Carlisle's face. Edward must be here if Bella is. What happened Edward?

His questions wouldn't stop and each one felt like a fresh slap on the face when I thought the answers to all those questions.

Everyone except for me left the room and gave Jacob the information of Bella's where abouts. He let everyone pass then he walked to the room expecting bad news.

At the door he closed his eyes and prepared himself for whatever happened with Bella. He must have been so worried that he didn't notice that Bella's heart wasn't beating anymore.

He opened his eyes and walked inside. Once he saw Bella's body lifeless and covered in blood he froze.

NO! She didn't! It couldn't be! Edward, please tell me shes just sleeping or is this an effect for when you change? Jacob asked panicing.

I just shook my head.

NO! NO! NO! He thought over and over again.

"What happened?" He asked again.

I couldn't answer him. I couldn't relive what happened. But I knew that someone was going to tell him and no matter how hard I tired I would relive the nightmare.

Alice came in . He was far enough from the door that she was able to slip past him to face him and turn her back to me.

I heard Jacob sniffle. Tears were probably running down his face but, I didn't turn to check. I was staring at Bella again.

"Bella was sitting on the couch and when she got up she knocked down her cup of blood. She reached to get it, but Rose and Edward already had it. She reached too far and the placenta ripped inside her. She was rushed here and Edward got Renesmee out, but Bella lost too much blood. Her heart didn't hang on long enough for the venom to spread. Edward did CPR and Carlisle tried to shock her heart back, but it didn't work." Alice explained. Her voice sounded distint like she was trying not to cry.

All the guilt and self hatred I felt came flooding back to me. I wanted to look away from Bella because now she was the proof of the monster I was. A part of my brain, the masochistic part, forced myself to look at her and to feel all the pain that I inflicted on her.

I wasn't paying attention to Jacob anymore so it surprised me when I heard something hit the floor. That pulled my attention away from Bella and I turned around to see that Jacob and fallen to the floor. HIs giant tan hands were covring his hand and his body was shaking. I then heard the low sob coming from him.

After a mintue he looked up at me.

"YOU! This is all your fault! You should have never come back! She would have been safe with me! She would have been alive right now!" He screamed at me as he stood up again.

His whole frame was shaking but the thing that stood out the most was his face. It was tired from the lack of sleep and all the running, confused, and hurt. His eyes were filled with tears and his eyeball was a deep red. The bags under his eyes were being flooded with the tears that streamed down his face. His lips were pulled back showing his teeth as he struggled with calming himself down enough so he wouldn't phase.

Alice had also disappeared while I was lost in my thoughts.

So there was no one there to stop his attack. He jumped from the ground using all his strength and knocked into me. He was able to also knock me to the ground. All his thoughts were foucased on cursing me and ways to rip me apart.

I didn't fight back. I didn't want to. What was there left to fight for? Bella was gone.

I held my arms down and fought against my instict of self preservation.

What the hell is he doing? Jacob thought.

After a moment he realized why I wasn't fighting back. He realized that since Bella was gone, I wanted to die too.

His facail expression changed. It morphed into an evil look. His eyes sparkled and his smile grew wider and wider.

No, I'm not going to kill you. Because even though I'm in pain, you are in worse pain. If i kill you I would be doing you a favor since no one else here will do that. So I promise you Edward that I'm going to do everything to keep you "alive" and give you contsant reminders of Bella and what you did to her. He though.

I couldn't help the growl that escaped my lips. I pushed him off me. Forgetting that everyone could hear, I said something that I knew would hurt Jacob.

"Even though I killed her with my selfishness. I at least got to give her the biggest pleasure anyone could give and proof of that is downstairs right now probably in Rosalie's arm. You only imagined having Bella that way. I got to have Bella that way." I replied coldy.

Everyone downstairs tried to push out the image of Bella like that.

He looked at Bella once more. Hurt was covering his face when he realised that. He stormed out of the room, but when he got downstairs he thought something that would guilt me forever.

At least my pleasure and desire didn't kill her. He left not bothering to glance at anyone as he stared at the floor. He phased into a wolf and let the others know what happened.

I glanced at Bella's body again and I fell to the ground when I thought his words over again.

A/N: Hey everyone. Thank you so much for reading my story. I've been getting a few reviews and I'm really happy that everyone is liking it. I promise you this will get better and filled with more drama. Please send this to your friends and help spread my story. Up next is Edward telling Charlie so let's see how that goes. Lastly, I know that in the series Jacob is there helping Edward, but I left Jacob out on purpose because I feel that with Jake's help Bella survived. I hope that clears some thoughts if anyone had them.